When You Know a Family Member is Dying

[bastarg_girl]

i am posting here again after 2 months in the hospital my mom passed away...the interment was last saturday...

no more pain...no more suffering..but i miss her a lot

[MigMaxMatt]

^My condolences, sis! I know that no amount of words can ease the pain in your heart. 

Hugs.

[Mahal122898]

My prayers for your mom sis Bastarg_girl.. Marami nga nagsasabi mas nagiging worst daw pag pinaopera..  Sa mom ko mahirap talaga.. Kasi nastroke din siya.

Prayers talaga kailangan..

[ishko]

mahirap talagang tanggapin na wala na ang mahal natin sa buhay.. until now i cannot accept the fact that my dad is gone..40 days nya na sa monday.. ang hirap kasi sobrang lungkot ng pakiramdam at parang you cannot continue living pag naiisip mo na wala na siya..

[boogieston]

Nakakrelate ako sa mga posts niyo. When My Grandmother was still alive, she was constantly being sent hospital to hospital. When she was finally doing and looking better inuwi na namin siya. Eh makulit, naglaba, nastrain yung body niya, ni rush nila mommy si lola sa hospital. Then she was okay na ulit. Then sinabi ng doctor, itransfer daw siya sa ICu, so we did, pero parang lumala. (bakit ganun parati sa ICU? parang lumalala yung condition pag ipiasok doon). I consider myself lucky for not seeing my lola in pain, kasi alam kong hindi ko kakayanin. Then finally, God ended her pain. Ang tagal tagal na nun, elementary pa ako nun. Whenever we visit her grave, nobody can ever stop our parents from crying. Then recently, my aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer. Thank the great good Lord, and she recovered. Masakit mawalan ng relative, lalo na if you're really close to them. Nakakrelate ako sa inyo mga sis.

[gwacie]

Hello everyone, threadstarter here. My father passed away last April 19. He finally succumbed to his illness. Medyo dramatic because although early in March he was admitted, he had been receiving home treatment with check-ups every other week. But that afternoon, he couldn't breathe, and we brought him as fast as we could to the hospital, but it was too late.

What makes me happy is that the whole family was present with him when he passed. Also, after the nurses and doctors at the ER let us in to see him, I saw that the deep lines that marked his face had smoothed... he was no longer in pain. It hurts and I miss him already, but it brings me much comfort to know that he has been released from suffering and is now in God's care.

[boogieston]

^ Condolence sis. 

[ebbah]

condolence sa mga sis na nwalan ng family member na. ganyan din ako sobrang sad when my father passed away 3 years ago. until now i am saddened pag may namamatayan lalo na pag tatay din nila..i can still feel the pain and i miss him so much.

and now ito naman..my cousin who is close to me was diagnosed last week with liver cancer his only 37...he is schedule for operation 2nd week of may. when i found out about it parang hindi agad nagsink in until the next day..i cried so hard, na in denial ayoko talagang tanggapin..i visited him last saturday suprisingly he is so good prang tumaba pa nga, i admired him sobrang strong niya at lalaban daw siya. but my worry is baka pag naoperahan na siya which is tatanggalin part of his liver baka maging sickly at weak na...hay..sobrang hirap iniisip ko pa lang...lets all pray na makarecover cousin ko and give him another chance, sobrang lasenggo kasi niya noon..

[jellyace]

I just wanted to share this article from INQ.

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/metro/view/20100427-266812/6-year-old_girl_needs_help

I lost my sister 9 years ago because of the same ailment. She was barely 13 years old at that time and i was 17. 4 days lang niya naenjoy ang kanyang high school life.

I talked to her mom after ko nabasa yung article sa INQ, sabi niya P43k pa daw kelangan nila. She will undergo echocardiogram today sa Phil. Heart Center  and on May 12 ang last laboratory test.If she's clear of infection they will proceed with the corrective operation na daw.

I hope may willing mag extend ng help sa kanila kahit papano. Salamat mga sis.


"people give time, some money, some their skills and connections, some
literally give their life's blood. But everyone has something to give.” -Barbara Bush

 

[jellyace]

Gusto ko lang ishare yung nangyari sa sister ko.

When we were growing up kasi alam ko na na may sakit siya kasi naririnig ko sa parents ko and overprotective sila sa kapatid kong yun. May time nga naalala ko nung maliit pa kami muntik na masuntok ng papa ko yung pinsan kong lalaki kasi sinama niya sa paliligo sa ulan tapos nadapa. Pati ako pinaluhod nun ng mama ko kahit di ko naman naintindihan ano kasalanan ko nun.

 Lumaki naman siyang normal, aside from the bluish tint sa nails and lips niya never mo iisipin na she's sick. Since after 5 years pa bago nasundan ng 2 pa kaming magkapatid, kami talaga nag bonding while growing up. Nung mag grade 1 siya tapos ako nasa grade 5 na, lagi ako nun sinisilip sa classroom namin tapos uutusan niya yung classmate niya na ibigay yung baon niya sakin. Minsan nga kahit piso ipapaabot niya pa sa akin.

 Masakit lang kasi di ko naman naiintindihan pa nun kung ano talaga sakit niya, until nung grade 6 na siya. May exam sila nun kinabukasan and i think masyado siya napressure. Gabi nun galing ako sa kwarto paglabas ko nakita ko napapagitnaan siya ni Lola at ni Mama nakaupo sila sa sofa tapos hinihimas nila likod at dibdib niya kasi hindi daw siya makahinga. Tapos nagpanic na siya nun, inaabot  niya yung kamay niya sa picture frame ni Jesus Christ na nakasabit sa wall tapos sumisigaw na siya ng Papa Jesus, Papa Jesus, hindi ako makahinga! (hanggang ngayon pag naaalala ko yun naiiyak pa din ako sa tindi ng awang naramdaman ko nung time na yun at takot para sa kanya.) Hindi ko alam parang nakapako lang mga paa ko nun sa pagkakatayo dun. Mabilis naman siyang nadala sa hospital at sa awa ng Diyos pinahiram pa siya sa amin for a few more months.

Yun lang ang regret ko, dapat sana after that incident sana dinala na ulit siya sa heart center para matingnan kalagayan niya. Nasa bicol kasi kami and i think indenial pa din ang parents ko na may sakit nga siya. Sabi kasi ng doktor nun pinatingnan siya sa heart center, 2 years old palang siya nun, delikado daw ang operasyon 50-50 lang yung chance na makasurvive siya. Siguro natakot ang mama ko na ipaopera.

 Until now hindi ko masabi sa kanila, pero deep inside gusto ko sila sisihin na pinabayaan nila kapatid ko. Na sana kung pinatingnan lang nila ulit baka buhay pa hanggang ngayon kapatid ko.Pero there are words ika nga na better left unsaid. Nung nag college na ako, nagresearch ako about sa sakit na yun and i know that there is cure pala talaga although costly pero buhay naman ang kapalit nun. After that nangako talaga ako na kahit minsan man lang sa buhay ko may maisave ako or may maitulong sa mga kagaya nila.

[clermont]

^OT pero sis, I think it's best to be surrounded by your family, friends and church family. Late advice but I hope you are doing better.

Back to the topic: Finally nakahanap na ako ng agent that will give me details on St. Peter Plan and Heritage Park Plan (memorial and cremation). Mas flexible ang St. Peter pero wala ka nga lang memorial lot or cremation plot. At least sa Heritage, sagot na nila lahat. Pero siyempre mas expensive sa Heritage Park. What do you think mga sis?

[patchuchai]

hi sis!

go with the package of heritage park, kasi iyong sa isa mag-iisip ka pa kung saan ilalagay after the cremation, if you have the money sis. pero kung hindi kaya ng budget, st peter na lang.

[clermont]

^Thanks sis. Well, hindi maganda cremation package ng heritage park kasi separate pa memorial service. Unlike sa St. Peter, from the morgue they will get the body, then provide the stuff (even the church if your catholic, otherwise just tell them where to bring it, home or another place) for memorial service of up to 4 days then cremation and burial. Complete na talaga.

I'm planning to get a memorial lot or cremation slot na lang sa Heritage Park then cremation service sa St. Peter.

[chrome-plated heart]

lahat kami sa family, naka st. peter. meron na din plots na nauna pa nabili.

kinuwento ko na to dati sa friends ko, morbid naman daw.. sabi ko buti na yung prepared kesa sa bulaga sa maiiwan.

[clermont]

^Correct sis, iba kong nakausap parang naooffend pa.

[chengkii]

Usually iyun mga old people ang mabilis ma-offend sa ganyan. Plan ko nga kumuha next year eh. Tapusin ko muna iyun mga payables namin this year tapos, go na next year para hindi rin mabigat.

I agree with Aquacharly, medyo ok iyun service sa Arlington. Kasi doon iyun wake ng dad ko, and reasonable naman iyun prices nila - wala kaming plan that time. Tapos, madali din kausap iyun tao doon, hindi iyun nanggugulang. Kainis kasi iyun mga hustler eh. Medyo malayo lang nga from my place pero carry lang naman.

[juliefiona_22]

to all sisses, please give some advise on how to help a spouse who lost the better half.. kasi di ba mahirap mag-move on kapag matagal magkasama tapos bigla namatay ang spouse... please help.. thanks

hi sis or bro (not sure with your alias), this is based on my own experience. my husband died 2 years ago because of aneurysm. the road will be really tough. as in the worst. pero lahat naman ng bagay napag-aaralan. i mean, the best thing that you can do to someone who is grieving is just always be there. hindi mo na kailangan ng maraming ek-ek na sasabihin mo na "i know what you are feeling right now, that you are in pain etc. etc. " kasi kapag andyan ka na, a hug will mean a lot. no words can describe it. i have also done it with a friend who lost her son. so a simple hug is all she needs. kasi ang mga taong nagg-grieve, hindi pa nila kayang i-compose ang thoughts nila. kasi nga distorted. and hindi rin nila kailangan makarinig ng maraming words of condolences kasi in denial pa sila.   so human touch is really needed. when it comes to moving on, i prefer to tell your friend to do some reading or research on coping with grief. maraming sites sa internet that will help her. may stages kasi ang grief. and definitely, dadaanan niya talaga yun dahil kung hindi, baka in state of denial pa rin siya though ang press release niya naka-move on na siya. joining support groups too can help. kasi you share the same experience with other people. it will took a while to get back on your feet again. and the pain will remain i tell you. there will be times you will cry yourself to sleep but that is normal. the important thing is  made her realize that all things happen for a reason.

[betty]

how do you tell the kids that someone they love is sick?

[tiggerlily]

mag-father's day na and i miss my papa. he died 3 years ago - exactly 2 weeks before my wedding. that was his 4th stroke - ganun sya ka-strong. yung last kasi matagal sya nawalan ng oxygen when they rushed him to the hospital. pero his past strokes, wala lang pinapanis nya lang palagi. i can't go into details kasi ayoko na umiyak ulit. parang fresh na fresh pa rin kasi the other night i was crying while driving dahil naalala ko sya. dito na lang yung details:
http://carolandjojo.weddingannouncer.com/cphotos-479684.html

i wish i had more time with him. i wish i had a simpler wedding para di ako naging busy at nagkaron ng mas maraming time with him. sana i didn't stay at boyf's condo para lagi ako sa bahay. sana naipasyal ko pa sya ng madaming madaming beses after namin magbohol. sana naisakay ko pa sya ulit sa airplane.

besides the downside of having a dying family member, be thankful that you have the chance to show how much you love them. at sana, wag na natin hintayin na magkaron ng taning ang mga buhay ng mga mahal natin bago natin iparamdam sa kanila na mahal natin sila. ok, tama na to. tatanungin na ako ni hubby kapag naiyak ako dito.

[pinkypop_30]

Naiiyak naman ako sa mga posts dito ....

Naalala ko tuloy nung iwanan rin kami ni papa (barely 7 years na). Sobrang sakit at panghihinayang ... lahat as in mixed emotions talaga. Happy ka kasi you know na he will be in no pain na and that he is in the safe hands of God in Heaven ... kaso cympre talagang sadness will prevail kahit ano pang realization ang gawin.

Then recently, last August 14, 2010 si uncle ko naman ang lumisan. He is a father figure also to us mula noong mawala si papa... kaya masakit din sa amin ang pagkawala niya.

Pero eto realization uli ... at least my uncle has no more pain na and that he together with my papa is in heaven na with God ... wherein there is no more pain, sufferings and problem.