It is not praying kung sumbat or paninisi lang sa Kanya ang sasabihin ko. And sa ngayon ayaw ko munang magalit sa kahit kanino nakaka-trigger siya sa depression ko or kung ano man itong nararamdaman ko. Maybe in my own perfect time magdasal din ako uli.
Sis, seems like you're not comfortable with the emotion of anger?
Hindi ko alam kung nagtitrigger ng depression ang anger, but what I do know is suppressed or repressed anger can cause somatic symptoms. Anger is an energy, and it must flow out of your body.
Pero hindi rin naman healthy yung anger na parang bulkang pagsabog, masakit din sa dibdib yun... Kahit paunti-unti lang. Pero maganda, kung napakadaming galit sa loob, may mag-guide sayo, may possibility na ma-overwhelm ka rin. And yes, it won't be physically comfortable. But the healthy flowing out and processing of anger is healing and liberating.
On your own, you can do diary. Kung ano lang ang kaya mo ilabas at the present moment. Matatantsa mo naman siguro kung ano ang kaya mo. Maganda rin yung prayer diary, and yes you can also express negative emotions. Pero kung di mo talaga carry, personal diary will do.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember you shared about growing up with a mother who sounds emotionally abusive to me, parang ticking time bomb kung magalit. But on the good side naman you have a father na emotionally safe. If my memory is correct, syempre malaki ang contribution nyan to what you are feeling right now, that is, if you haven't processed your past yet. Mothers should be a safe haven, a source of emotional and physiological safety. Hindi yung palagi kang takot. Hindi mo alam kung kelan sya sasabog.
Tapos meron ba sa lahi mo ang clinical depression?
Another thing, anong mga present situational struggles sa buhay mo ngayon? O everything is well naman, symptoms of depression lang talaga? You mentioned kasi, G na G sayo si God, I wonder what you mean by that.
Anyway, you don't have to answer naman. Mas maganda kung professional ang magprocess sayo. But you can share here if you want to, maraming makikinig.