how to deal with depression

[rainbowmom]

hi mga sis, just new here sa GT pero way back in pinas nababasa ko na eto. ngayon lang ako nag decide to register to share my depression.  i feel like im developing depression since i moved out of the country.  sobrang lax na din kase ako dahil i have a job, comfort zone ko na yun. but when i got our visas and moved here, high hopes pa ko on the first week.  isip ko baka na shock lang ako sa change of environment, though its much better, walang kalat, maganda, tahimik pero walang human touch. siguro kase dont know any neighbors or friends here. i used to live a comfortable life, with yaya and everything. so isa pa yun sa shock ko kase i have to do the household chores.  i cried talaga coz i dont know how to iron clothes. another thing that developed my depression is unemployment. since im the principal applicant and have the skills i have high hopes of getting a job easily. which was not the case in here. i always cry when receiving rejection letters.  maganda na kase work ko sa pinas and good pay din naman. i cant accept those rejections, i feel sobrang low self-esteem. gusto ko nakakulong, ayoko lumabas ng house, yoko mag enjoy. feeling ko i have no worth, im useless. i cant buy things that i need and want. tinitiis ko na lang kase nga di pwede mag splurge dahil walang work. since nakikitira lang kami, di ako sanay to follow other people. im totally in control of our house before. i can sleep, wake up whenever i want. ngayon di pwede kase nakikisama ka. i cant even go to places, walang car/lic...everything.  i felt so deprived. i feel a regret of moving here. i miss my old life, old self. i hope to wake up one day na nasa pinas na lang ulit ako.

[kaice]

hugs for you sisses... sometimes acceptance that you need help is the start.


rebelheart - i know it is hard but you need to LET GO and LET GOD. it is difficult to see them everyday together and of course to deal with them because you lost 2 important people in your lives. just think of it that there are better plans for you that you might not have seen because you are pre-occupied with things or are contented with the setup before even if you are not sure where are you heading. talk to someone and pray and please dont leave grudges, it will only make you suffer. i know it is easy to say this but look at better side of things, love yourself more and do things that you have been wanting to do but you can't since you were in the pseudo-relationship.

rainbowmom - it is really hard to feel the "domino effect" of things simply because you accepted to take the risk. change is part of life and how we deal with it is  what is important.

I recently read a story on the carrot, egg and coffee beans. a daughter was telling how she hated her life to her mom and her mom put 3 pots of boiling hot water and put carrot, egg and coffee beans on them. after few minutes, she put the carrot and egg on the plate and drained the coffee in a mug.

confused, the daughter asked the mother what she is doing
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its  liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

Which are you? When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become  hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water  gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like
the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.


PS. I think I am still suffering depression but I need to help myself for the baby in my tummy and choose to be the coffee bean....

[rainbowmom]

Hi Kaice- thanks for the wonderful story.  Buti na lang din my husband is so supportive and understanding. kahit parang minsan loka-loka na ako sa kakaiyak.  Ewan ko ba kung anong triggers ng anxiety/depression ko pero ang sure ko pang alis is high self-esteem. yun bang kapag pinuri ka sa tamang ginawa mo or na appreciate.  siguro kase dahil sa konti lang kami sa house at wala akong friends, di ko ma feel kung may nag appreciate ba sa ginawa ko.  mdalas feeling inferior ako, esp getting rejection letters from employers.  i hope that im not like the carror or coffee nor egg hehe.  i want to be strong in every circumstance. and i hope you too can be strong in whatever youre going through.

[ilovecoach]

this year has been a bad year for me.  the year started with an asthma attack from my son.  then i got really really busy with the renovation of the house. i was so stressed that i got sick.  then came school opening wherein i had to adjust with my son's new schedule.  i am a night person and i am forced to change my schedule.  since it was back to school, my son got sick really frequently.  his sick days are more than his good / well days. 

now i'm writing this, i feel ashamed that i am feeling depressed bec of these.  the reasons are so petty.  it wasn't like a death of a family member or a marriage falling apart.  however, i get affected, and now i don't have enthusiasm or energy for anything.  i don't like my work that used to be my greatest passion. 

i don't know what to do, pls help.  tia!

[brandi]

No. 1 RULE: one must have a good support system.

I've experienced different patients na din. kahit ano at dami pa ng gamot inumin niyan, kung poor ang support system para help yung patient to cope up, useless.

[chocoholic]

i've been depressed for several years now. i think it started when i was in college pa. tapos it just snowballed to now. nung una ok lang. pero ngayon i think it's worse na to the point that it's really affecting my life big time. downward spiral nga as they say. it scares me kasi parang feeling ko i'll never be happy anymore. parang this whole depression has sucked out so much of who i am. everyone who's known me will say na sobrang rainbows and sunshine yung personality ko before. but now parang facade ko nalang yun. deep inside i'm just super sad to the point na feeling ko minsan i'm numb.

the thing is pa, i don't think anyone really knows it. i mean the people in my life know the things that happened/are happening in my life that probably cause me to be sad pero in totality hindi nila alam how deeply rooted and connected all these are. i guess, most of that is because i don't really confide in anyone. nahihirapan ako for some reason. even this post. matagal na ko nagstart mag post dito pero everytime, i just delete it and just lurk nalang. i guess now kasi it's just gotten worse, what i feel, kaya i finally had the courage to do so.

there came a point last year na halos hindi na ko natutulog. at night i just sit in my room and cry. i even started to write a will na nga. but the thought just scared me so much. i got depressed over it even more. i basically got depressed over being depressed. ang weird ko lang. feeling ko nga that time, naloloka na ko.
a few months after that, i felt a little better. there came a point na kala ko may epiphany na ko. suddenly everything felt ok. pero hindi pala. now eto nanaman ako pababa ng pababa.

[yha_chun24]

hai..i can relate to this thread.. Halos same tayo ng experience @ sis kheanne. Pag 1st time mo maexperience to,it feels like its the end of the world 4 u. Parang seconds lang bi2langin mo and den b0om,filing mo lost kna. Sa part q kc hereditary siguro, mula kay lola q,kay mama,kina tita pati tito q and even couz q na 6y/o lang,ang loko cnusumpong din,nagtrigger is iyong panaginip nea na nk2takot daw,aun umiiyak nlang bigla,take note,guy pa sya. It runs in the blood nga siguro on my part..but d advantage is dat, they can cope up wid me wenever i am feeling anxious and tel me 'ganyan tlg, pamilya tayo ng nerbyosa e'.. But our sisses here are right, PRAYERS change everythng. Yeah,mahirap dn lalo na kung ngppray ka nga but you cant focus pero just keep praying,it will make you feel good in the long run. And always tell yourself, 'I have my God who is bigger than my anxiety.'

btw,due to this thread na mula morning eh binabasa qna,bumili q ng self help book not just 4 me but also 4 my bf whom i think naka2ranas din ng ganito though hindi nya sinasabi.. I know these wil help both of us.

PRAY..PRAY..and PRAY mga sisses,we'll all go through this

[kaice]

it helps to write what you feel. ako i write tapos i let hubby read it pag sobrang di ko na ma explain how i feel. during the early stages of my pregnancy eh iyak ako ng iyak and i was really depressed pero kawawa kasi si baby kaya i decided to take things slowly.

prayers are definitely of big help plus support of those people who can really understand you.

[Dacian]

i watch movies when i'm depressed.

[kaice]

^ that could be a good therapy pero iwas ka sa mga heavy drama or something related to the cause of your depression kasi baka mag breakdown ko. ok yung mga feel good movies, cartoons and comedy

[michimac03]

wala bang support group ang mga gt's who deals with these kinds of problems? masaya din kung may support group tayo, at least we can all share experiences at the same time nagkakatulungan tayo=)

[bluewingedangel]

may time dati na dumaan ako sa depression. kasi hindi kami magka-baby ni hubby, it turned out may mass pala ako sa ovary. so in denial ako nuon tapos patong patong na problema. lagi akong nagtutulog, umiiyak, kumakain.

what i did was really prayed hard. talagang sabi ko Lord, so heavy tong burden nato sayo na lang tulungan mo ako. it also helped na hubby was so understanding. nung time na yun puro funny movies pinapanood nya sa akin, pinageexercise din nya ako so eventually eh nawala din ang sadness.

[enyuti]

how do you feel when you're depressed? is it just feeling low and sad? how about the palpitations? being worrisome? chills? tingling sensation on extremities? trembling? I don't have any reason to be depressed but i feel all these. I have the best husband and son in the world... business is doing good. And yet, i'm here feeling helpless. I have faith in God.... and i know i will be ok. But questions always pop up....why me? Why should i experience such kind of "sumpa." I have been treated with this last september. My psychiatrist treated me with rivotril, seroquel and lexapro. I graduated with the meds last december....feeling perfectly fine. I went to the US. Had fun with my family. Back to Philippines in january.... and feb comes... i woke up having back the anxiety. I wonder why it came back. Wala na bang treatment ito? I mean...will i be forever dependent on meds? Im afraid to live like that....

[jodainess]

I hang-out with my friends during my free time, foodtrip, videoke, shopping, ukay-ukay haunting.. hehe

[kheanne]

how do you feel when you're depressed? is it just feeling low and sad? how about the palpitations? being worrisome? chills? tingling sensation on extremities? trembling? I don't have any reason to be depressed but i feel all these. I have the best husband and son in the world... business is doing good. And yet, i'm here feeling helpless. I have faith in God.... and i know i will be ok. But questions always pop up....why me? Why should i experience such kind of "sumpa." I have been treated with this last september. My psychiatrist treated me with rivotril, seroquel and lexapro. I graduated with the meds last december....feeling perfectly fine. I went to the US. Had fun with my family. Back to Philippines in january.... and feb comes... i woke up having back the anxiety. I wonder why it came back. Wala na bang treatment ito? I mean...will i be forever dependent on meds? Im afraid to live like that....

Psychotherapy like cognitive behavior therapy, REBT, talk therapy is another option. These will teach you how to handle negative thoughts and feelings. Look for a psychiatrist who performs psychotherapy aside from medications.

Yung medications kasi talagang mataas ang relapse rate niya. Kasi they won't teach you how to handle depression and anxiety. Dapat kasi once your depression or anxiety is managed by medications, you should get psychotherapy to prevent relapse. Or kung mag-relapse man siya, it won't be as bad because the psychiatrist have already teach you how to handle anxiety and depression.

With regards to depression. ang pinakanakakaiinis is yung feeling of HOPELESSNESS and feel mo na wala ka nang umaga or future. that you would always feel bad forever.

the way to manage hopelessness is to always write down everyday in a piece of paper "enjoyable things to look forward to".  like for example: vacation to boracay, shopping in SM, etc. would you believe that even the "impeachment trial"  keeps me from feeling being hopeless because it is one of the things that keeps me looking forward to.

another thing is to write "list of gratitudes or blessings" for example:

i am thankful that i have good income while most people are poor. i am thankful that i do not have horrible disease like AIDS etc. 

When i wrote those things, i already have an uplifting mood. Because i would come into a realization that despite the depression, i am still living a good life. Depression is annoying but it is not as bad as it seems if you focus more on positive things that happens to you. Of course there would be times na ma-dedepress ka naman because it is already our nature, but always keep reminding yourself about the good things.

You have to do this everyday, Think about it as brushing your teeth. If you don't brush everyday, your teeth will have cavities.

If you are already feeling good, still you will have to do this method again and again for at least 5 years.

[kim_trasher07]

i think im suffering from depression too. eversince my parents and younger sister nag abroad. i was left alone with my kid.

I change daw sabi ng bf ko, laging galit, mainit ulo, unhappy most of the time...
Nung nag gym ako.. nakatulong ito kaso nastop kasi medyo malayo yung gym. and now im depressed again. I can't sleep.. hindi ko na magawa yung mga kelangan kong gawin..

what should i do? should i see a doctor na? i don't want to be on medication.. parang nakakatakot

[enyuti]

i think im suffering from depression too. eversince my parents and younger sister nag abroad. i was left alone with my kid.

I change daw sabi ng bf ko, laging galit, mainit ulo, unhappy most of the time...
Nung nag gym ako.. nakatulong ito kaso nastop kasi medyo malayo yung gym. and now im depressed again. I can't sleep.. hindi ko na magawa yung mga kelangan kong gawin..

what should i do? should i see a doctor na? i don't want to be on medication.. parang nakakatakot

Hi sis.... You need to see a doctor if you are suffering from it. I've been diagnosed with severe anxiety when i almost died due to an ivf complication. Anyways... ayaw ko din na magdepend sa medication. I graduated from my anti anxiety meds last december 2011. I started taking them up in September 2011. Some factors triggered my anxiety so i had to go back with my meds. Nalungkot ako kase i felt i was medically dependent na. As in parang di ko na mahandle self ko... and why i need to medicate just to feel ok. And the doctor explained.... "Parang hypertension yan or parang diabetes.. na there's something wrong in your system na dapat icorrect. You have triglycerides, cholesterol or sugar na sobra kaya dapat uminom ng gamot para mabalance. As for anxiety, you have imbalance of dopamine and serotonin so you have to take meds to balance it. And once ok, you can graduate from medication too. But as the other illnesses, there are times that they come back depending on your system..." As for me, it works. I came back with my meds in 2nd wk of feb... and i'm starting to wean from them again now.... so in a few weeks or months from now, graduate na ulit ako. Balik ka din sa exercise... nakakabalance yun ng serotonin at dopamine. Mag g gym ako mamaya. Start lang today You should help yourself. Don't deprive yourself from being happy. Hope to hear from you soon.

[enyuti]

Psychotherapy like cognitive behavior therapy, REBT, talk therapy is another option. These will teach you how to handle negative thoughts and feelings. Look for a psychiatrist who performs psychotherapy aside from medications.

Yung medications kasi talagang mataas ang relapse rate niya. Kasi they won't teach you how to handle depression and anxiety. Dapat kasi once your depression or anxiety is managed by medications, you should get psychotherapy to prevent relapse. Or kung mag-relapse man siya, it won't be as bad because the psychiatrist have already teach you how to handle anxiety and depression.

With regards to depression. ang pinakanakakaiinis is yung feeling of HOPELESSNESS and feel mo na wala ka nang umaga or future. that you would always feel bad forever.

the way to manage hopelessness is to always write down everyday in a piece of paper "enjoyable things to look forward to".  like for example: vacation to boracay, shopping in SM, etc. would you believe that even the "impeachment trial"  keeps me from feeling being hopeless because it is one of the things that keeps me looking forward to.

another thing is to write "list of gratitudes or blessings" for example:

i am thankful that i have good income while most people are poor. i am thankful that i do not have horrible disease like AIDS etc. 

When i wrote those things, i already have an uplifting mood. Because i would come into a realization that despite the depression, i am still living a good life. Depression is annoying but it is not as bad as it seems if you focus more on positive things that happens to you. Of course there would be times na ma-dedepress ka naman because it is already our nature, but always keep reminding yourself about the good things.

You have to do this everyday, Think about it as brushing your teeth. If you don't brush everyday, your teeth will have cavities.

If you are already feeling good, still you will have to do this method again and again for at least 5 years.

Thanks sis! Tama nga yan... we have a lot of things to be thankful for. And with regards to medication, everything was explained to me na. And as of today... ok na. I started weaning from the meds.. as in 1/8 tabs nalang para di mabigla ang system. And yes, today, i will start to go to the gym na
salamat ulit sana wala ng episodes hehe

[kim_trasher07]

^^ thanks for your input sis, it's very helpful. anong specialization ng doctor ka nagpacheckup? no idea kasi kung anong pupuntahang kong doctor

[enyuti]

^^ thanks for your input sis, it's very helpful. anong specialization ng doctor ka nagpacheckup? no idea kasi kung anong pupuntahang kong doctor

psychiatrist, sis. Ang doctor ko is Dra Bernadette Arcena. Lagi syang naiinterview sa mga tv shows . She's an angel. Meron syang clinic sa St. Luke's and dito sa pampanga, Mt. Carmel.