Why can't we find love?

[ziontrec]

because were looking for it in the wrong places.

[Girltalker2]

^^ iba rin siguro ang environment kasi sa pinas? 

Una una, hanap ka ng single, kokonti nalang iyan.  Kasi Filipino men in general marry early (20s). Second, dagdagan mo pa ng machismo na society, marami sa kanila talagang nambababae, or if walang kabit, hilig naman makipagflirt or girlie bars or porn/flirt sa internet. So kung loyal ang hanap mo, hindi sya madali hanapin.  Third, hanapan mo pa ng being financially stable at walang ibang sinusustentuhan na extended families.  Fourth, kung may napag aralan ka pa (licensed ka or doctorate or what), syempre kahit papano, kakahanap ka rin ng kalevel mo at the least. 

Tapos other factors like di naninigarilyo/sugal/lasenggo, hygiene, being considerate, malambing, personality nya na good communicator, tapos may common interests din kayo etc.

At ang chemistry... hindi puede mawala di ba?

So iilan nalang iyan sa buong pinas?

[mr.green_apple]

wait??
mmm..pwede rn..pro minsan kylangan din po natin mag effort,sumugal and sacrifice..like..hindi naman po natin masisiguro if never na talagang magbabago ang people..
sa tingin q lang..

sometimes kasi pag naging mag asawa na nagiging responsible na eh..

[Priceless]

Because first you must distinguish love from attraction or infatuation. IMO it all starts out as attraction muna - you find someone that you are drawn to, either because they have qualities that you like, or it could be that they have a quality that intrigues you and you would like to get to know them better. Pag super like mo na yung tao, perhaps you get to the infatuation stage, and once you start emotionally investing on that person, then that's when love can bloom. I believe it's a process and you must start somewhere. You just don't stumble on love - at least, the real, deep kind of love needs to be developed and nurtured.

So to ultimately, you need to be a person that someone wants to first be attracted to or intrigued by. So tama yung mga advice dito about being someone that is attractive or interesting. Then put yourself in situations or circumstances that allow you to meet people whom you think you'll find interesting or attractive.

[Girltalker2]

sometimes kasi pag naging mag asawa na nagiging responsible na eh..

You don't hope people to change. You have to accept them as they are. Kung acceptable sayo ang pagiging irresponsible, so pasado na sya, puede mo na sya maging BF at maging asawa. If not, I'd rather stay away from him as much as possible.

So to ultimately, you need to be a person that someone wants to first be attracted to or intrigued by. So tama yung mga advice dito about being someone that is attractive or interesting. Then put yourself in situations or circumstances that allow you to meet people whom you think you'll find interesting or attractive.

Tama din naman. While searching for him, ayusin mo din ang sarili mo, hindi lang physically ha, but also personality wise.

Because first you must distinguish love from attraction or infatuation. IMO it all starts out as attraction muna - you find someone that you are drawn to, either because they have qualities that you like, or it could be that they have a quality that intrigues you and you would like to get to know them better. Pag super like mo na yung tao, perhaps you get to the infatuation stage, and once you start emotionally investing on that person, then that's when love can bloom. I believe it's a process and you must start somewhere. You just don't stumble on love - at least, the real, deep kind of love needs to be developed and nurtured.

Yes, it all starts in attraction.  But there are times, kapag pre-arranged kunwari ang date nya, set up ng friends etc. Just be open and mingle, as friends din.  Then it can progress to attraction after getting to know him. 

But once attracted, hindi naman kasi puede mag"fall" ka na agad di ba?  you have to look at his qualities, compare it with your checklist, kung acceptable ba sya o hindi.  Hindi naman puede basta lang ma inlove at magka BF, bahala na si batman. Because if the attitude is the latter, you are just setting yourself up with a heartache.

[Priceless]

You gotta start somewhere. For me, it's an impossible task to find love instantly. It's like looking for and wanting to taste the fruit kaagad from the seeds to be planted pa lang. So instead of waiting for a fruit to fall from the heavens above, choose the seeds you want to plant and hopefully some day from one of these seeds that you've carefully chosen to plant and care for, a fruit bearing tree will grow and will give you the tastiest fruits that you have been waiting for.

[guia01]

Naku tinatanong ko din yan sa sarili ko.  Nakakapagod minsan kasi parang may hinahabol ako pero hindi ko alam kung ano kaya ipinagpipray ko na lang.  Aside from that, sama ako ng sama sa mga friends ko para naman mag-enjoy ako and hopefully, may mameet na guy na potential date. 

[Ms. Right]

Maybe the reason why some of us can't find love is that we're unconsciously hiding from it. Hanap tayo ng hanap ng taong magmamahal satin pero di naman tayo gumagawa ng paraan para mahanap rin nya tayo and vice versa. Labas-labas rin kasi pag may time at wag gawing excuse yung walang time kasi di naman totoo talaga yun. Lahat tayo may time kung gugustuhin talaga natin. Go out and explore the world guys. Hiindi masamang makimingle sa opposite sex and hindi masamang makipagdate once in a while. Para mahanap natin sya, ayusin muna natin yung basics like magset ng standards kung ano ba talang gusto mo, yung mga non-negotiables mo, things like that. After nun, ayusin mo rin yung sarili mo. Be the kind of person who you want to date, be the right person for yourself. 

[fredprinz]

We can't find love if we let others do it for us.

1) Umaasa sa reto - sige, nireto ka ng friend mo sa guy friend niya. Kahit ba alam niya ang ugali nung lalake, kung iba pa rin umasta pag naging kayo na, ikaw pa ren ang talo.

2) You're with an army of girl friends - Hindi ka lalapitan ng guys kung may 8 girl friends kang kasama. Yes, you want to enjoy the single life and be with friends. Good luck kung may lalapit sa'yo. Kung meron man, certified pick-up artist 'yun or artista.

3) Wala kang ginagawa to meet guys - What do you do to meet people? Lumabas ka, join groups, activities or classes. Hindi ka si Juan Tamad - at di babagsak ang bunga kung hihilata ka lang parati.

[guia01]

^fredprinz, guilty ako sa umaasa sa reto hahaha! Pero I'm joining a lot of activities now and meeting a lot of new people

[Filipinasadhart]

Nakarelate ako sa number 3 hahaha

[fredprinz]

That's great to know, Guia!

Kailangan din naten mag-effort talaga. Sad to say that the romantic meetings often happen only in the movies. Nasa sa aten na yun kung gagawa tayo ng ways to meet new people. =)

^fredprinz, guilty ako sa umaasa sa reto hahaha! Pero I'm joining a lot of activities now and meeting a lot of new people

[fredprinz]

So why not start joining classes, going to the gym, attending seminars, finding a new hobby or join speed dating events. You're FREE. Go out and have FUN!

Nakarelate ako sa number 3 hahaha

[killbill]

This year i realized na siguro dun sa mga previous relationships / boylet  kaya hindi nag work out kasi na stuck ako sa mga guys na not worth investing in, all the while i thought in love ako sa kanila yun pala i was just in love dun sa thought / idea na may bf and nagagawa yung mga bagay na ginagawa ng isang mag bf-gf such as dates, hatid-sundo, sweet nothings etc. So kahit na alam kong may sablay i was just going with it kasi akala ko mahal ko yun pala hindi lang ako makapag let go dun sa mga mag jowa activities.

[fredprinz]

Yes, minsan kasi dahil sa pressure eh. 'Yung iba, may boyfriend, ikaw wala.

And we sometimes make dumb decisions dahil either nagmamadali tayo or nadadala sa pressure ng society.

Good to know that you realized it, Kill Bill! Magtiwala ka lang. Learn to love yourself first then share that happiness with a lucky guy. =D

This year i realized na siguro dun sa mga previous relationships / boylet  kaya hindi nag work out kasi na stuck ako sa mga guys na not worth investing in, all the while i thought in love ako sa kanila yun pala i was just in love dun sa thought / idea na may bf and nagagawa yung mga bagay na ginagawa ng isang mag bf-gf such as dates, hatid-sundo, sweet nothings etc. So kahit na alam kong may sablay i was just going with it kasi akala ko mahal ko yun pala hindi lang ako makapag let go dun sa mga mag jowa activities.

[Girltalker2]

^ Siguro hindi lang pressure, minsan because of convenience narin.  Sa totoo lang naman kasi, ang hirap mamuhay sa Pinas kapag babae ka tapos lagi ka nag iisa. You are vulnerable to crimes and misshaps, hindi ba?

From fixing your car, pag attend sa formal wedding dinner, fixing the plumbing/lighting sa house, etc. 

So kelangan planado mga lakad mo, suot mo, san ka pupunta, with or without your kids, para di ka mapahamak.

[purple.strawberry]

Either your reach isn't wide enough (e.g., nagkukulong ka lang sa bahay and you go out with the same set of friends palagi) or it's not yet time talaga. Sometimes kasi we have to go through periods of isolation and self-discovery din to be a better person. May darating at may darating naman e.

[fredprinz]

I agree. When people are ready to "find" it, they should make ways to really search for it.

'Yung iba, post ng post ng mga quotes about love sa Facebook, Instagram and other social media platforms, pero walang actions.

You don't get what you wish for, YOU GET WHAT YOU WORK FOR.

[simang]

This year i realized na siguro dun sa mga previous relationships / boylet  kaya hindi nag work out kasi na stuck ako sa mga guys na not worth investing in, all the while i thought in love ako sa kanila yun pala i was just in love dun sa thought / idea na may bf and nagagawa yung mga bagay na ginagawa ng isang mag bf-gf such as dates, hatid-sundo, sweet nothings etc. So kahit na alam kong may sablay i was just going with it kasi akala ko mahal ko yun pala hindi lang ako makapag let go dun sa mga mag jowa activities.

Sana this is easier to realize. A lot of single girls i know, they love the idea of having a boyfriend. Kaya pag nakakilala ng lalaki, eh iniisip agad nila na boyfriend material sila kahit wala pa namang napapatunayan.

Before you really focus on having a relationship, you really have to know yourself -- your passion, your wants in life, your goals. Sabi nga sa one of my fave lines in a song, you have to stand for something or you'll fall for anything. Same with people who doesn't really know who they really are and what they want, kaya konting pakitang gilas lang sa kanila eh feeling nila true love na.

[twix01]

A lot of single girls i know, they love the idea of having a boyfriend. Kaya pag nakakilala ng lalaki, eh iniisip agad nila na boyfriend material sila kahit wala pa namang napapatunayan.

true that sis! ngayon kasi ang basehan yata ng pagiging in love eh instagram post na nag date sila sa ganyan, facebook status na binigyan sya ng ganito as gift and the like.. wala na yon true essence

I strongly believe pa din na hindi dapat hinahanap, kusang dadating!