Author Topic: Why can't we find love?  (Read 66578 times)

lalee888

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Re: Why can't we find love?
« Reply #320 on: April 06, 2018, 09:13:36 am »
Hi sis @labyu wala namang right or wrong but strategic lang din :)

Think of it this way sis: what you want to post online is the best version of yourself without deception. When you go out to a party or to hang at a bar, you probably dress nice and put on make-up diba? But it's still you! Hindi make-up na contouring and change-face na. I get that you want to show a raw version of yourself but even in regular dating, we tend to peel our layers slowly as we get to know a person in a deeper level. The deeper level happens over time (kaya nga mga sis natin may preference to communicate muna with a prospect and not meet-up agad).

Remember, men are visual creatures. They are hunters (pre-civilization) so men tend to need visual connection in order to build a deeper connection/relationship with someone.

I would suggest sis put up a variety of your favorite photos -- use the portrait photo option of an iPhone X for a portrait shot. Have some photos that show your full body. Action shots are important. Yung profiles na parang toothpick (stick) or nakapose sa mall or may kasamang friends and doing nothing are big No-No's. You should look relaxed and having fun in your pictures, and pictures that TELL A STORY, or ask for interpretation. Picture na nakaupo sa couch sa Sala into -- nothing interesting and does not tell or beg for a story to be asked. Picture of you riding an elephant in Bangkok? Winner. Pictue with your girlfriends? Yes -- but only one or two not all.

As for a description or text in your profile -- be ready with your elevator pitch -- write a brief bio that can be read in 30 seconds -- the time it takes to go from the top/exec floor to the lobby in an elevator. Too little is not good, too much is boring -- what will the guy want to ask you/talk to you about if there is no mystery left?

Short descriptions: put in some things that your audience can latch on (something they can sense you have in comomon) because these are relatable and topics they can discuss with you! Favorite books, favorite TV shows, movies, pets, sports, hobbies, what is in your bucket list, the last place you traveled to, where your next travel destination is, etc.

Add intriguing one-liners that make you stand out. Trivia or fun fact about yourself, this is what makes you UNIQUE and mysterious:

"I lost myself in the Sahara desert for five days, in a journey of self-discovery. It was my most favorite experience yet."

"My most unforgettable meal is the one I shared with a tribal community living in the northern mountains of the Philippines. I was lost from my group and these wonderful people took me in."

"I once let James Franco spit on my hand at a concert - ask me all about it."

As for conversations sis, let it build up naturally but be conversational. Ask about them just as they ask about you. It should be two ways diba not just Sila lang nagtatanong, you have to show interest too.

Marami Pako tips mga sis. Will keep sharing.
« Last Edit: April 06, 2018, 09:56:15 am by lalee888 »

nerddict

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Re: Why can't we find love?
« Reply #321 on: April 06, 2018, 10:00:04 am »

As for a description or text in your profile -- be ready with your elevator pitch -- write a brief bio that can be read in 30 seconds -- the time it takes to go from the top/exec floor to the lobby in an elevator. Too little is not good, too much is boring -- what will the guy want to ask you/talk to you about if there is no mystery left?

Short descriptions: put in some things that your audience can latch on (something they can sense you have in comomon) because these are relatable and topics they can discuss with you! Favorite books, favorite TV shows, movies, pets, sports, hobbies, what is in your bucket list, the last place you traveled to, where your next travel destination is, etc.

Add intriguing one-liners that make you stand out. Trivia or fun fact about yourself, this is what makes you UNIQUE and mysterious:



On point! Keep 'em coming sis! :) Thank you very much!

lalee888

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Re: Why can't we find love?
« Reply #322 on: April 06, 2018, 10:58:16 am »
^very welcome sis!

Practical advice naman: browse profiles of guys, look at many many profiles and figure out your favorite profiles. What was it about the profile that you like the most? What about profiles you didn't like? Why didn't you like the profiles?

It will help guide you what is appealing on your profile and what not to do on your profile. Besides the looks syempre.

Neuroscience says that friendly looking eyes and smiles that show the teeth are the most attractive and favored faces. Humans are conditioned to think of safety and a smile and warm eyes make us feel safe (therefore approachable). Suggest choosing your primary photo as one where you show your teeth and where your eyes are "smiling" :)

Shadow Angel

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Re: Why can't we find love?
« Reply #323 on: April 06, 2018, 11:30:34 am »
@labyu like I said before ang profile picture ko hindi kita ang face ko eyes,upper nose and hair ko lang ang kita kasi un kamay ko nakatakip sa half face ko nakaupo rin ako kaya do rin kita body ko except balikat nakasuot ako ng halter so medyo bare un shoulder ko, so parang mysterious effect and yet may konting idea sa body type ko na slim kaya siguro nakaka catch ako ng attention. About your photo I agree na better ilagay mo un kahit papaano naman maayos although gets ko na gusto mo hindi sa looks  mo magbabased para ichat ka pero be realistic din kasi for sure gusto naman natin un makakachat natin kahit papaano maayos at maalaga sa sarili naka post na un buong face mo so bakit di mo pa gawin presentable? About my profile info maigsi lang un nakalagay sa akin. Hindi ko nilalagay all about me so ano pa ang itatanong nila kung lahat nakapost na sa profile ko. Ang nakalagay lang sa profile ko ay ganito:

"I like traveling and meeting new people."

Ganyan lang nakalagay sa profile wala masyadong paligoy ligoy or pabola na ganito or ganyan ako. So far lahat ng mga na replyan ko dati mahilig din magtravel so at start nakakapag usap kami kung ano gusto namin during traveling and kung anong lugar na napuntahan minsan nagbibigayan kami ng tips hehe. Sa 2 sentences na yan kahit papaano alam mo na kung anong hinahanap ko sa kachat at kung ano ako. So di na mahirap hulaan na si hubby ko now ay mahilig din magtravel until now kahit may anak na kami.

1. Mahilig magtravel mostly ano ba ang general character ng mahilig magtravel? Isa pa clue na yan na ang hinahanap ko mahilig din magtravel.
2. Meeting new people: so dito pa lang alam mo na na open ako kahit kanino makipag usap. Sociable and like to chat with other people. It is also a simple way to invite people to message you because you are open to a conversation and you are willing to meet them too.

So diba no need un napakahabang description. Kaya nga kayo magchachat to get to know each other and my something kayo na mapag usapan. Di ko sinasabi dapat ganyan din kashort ang ipost mo masasabi ko lang be creative pero make sure na un talaga un character mo at hindi pang attract lang ng tao. Kasi along the way mahahalata naman nila kung true un description mo sa profile mo. 
« Last Edit: April 06, 2018, 11:42:33 am by Shadow Angel »

nerddict

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Re: Why can't we find love?
« Reply #324 on: April 06, 2018, 11:46:29 am »
^ako sis, nilagay ko talaga na moody at unpredictable ako. lol. ganun ako talaga e. hahaha!

Shadow Angel

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Re: Why can't we find love?
« Reply #325 on: April 06, 2018, 11:49:38 am »
^sis sino lalaki or tao na gugustuhin na ang kachat ay moody? Bakit naman negative ang naka post diba pwede un pinaka the best na character mo ang nakalagay?

nerddict

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Re: Why can't we find love?
« Reply #326 on: April 06, 2018, 11:59:11 am »
^hahaha! may tama ka naman sis :) kaya nagsheshare din ako dito para makakuha ng insights sa inyo. salamat sis! will update my profile now. ;)

sweet21

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Re: Why can't we find love?
« Reply #327 on: April 24, 2018, 11:14:55 am »
After my failed relationship, I told myself to never find and search for love. Haha. Mag focus na lang muna ako sa sarili ko. And kung may dumating happy, kung wala ok din naman haha. It's true sometimes, I feel lonely kasi namimiss ko din yung may nasasabihan kapag stressed, or pag may magandang nangyayari sakin na wala akong masabihan na bf haha! Pero ok lang. Siguro tama nga mas ok na maraming ma meet na tao, make friends, widen your horizon ika nga. Pwede wala ka ma meet, pero madami ka naman matututunan. I'm already 32, and sometimes naiisip ko kung makakapag asawa pa ba ako haha. Pero go on lang, hindi naman ako nagmamadali medyo fresh pa din ang break up only 4 months has passed. Siguro the best thing a girl can do for self, is just to do things that makes you grow. Tapos talaga bigyan halaga ang sarili. At mag pray, when you pray kelangan daw specific. Ako lahat ng qualities and character na gusto ko sa lalaki pinagppray ko. Loyal, faithful, God fearing, good provider, walang bisyo, may plano sa buhay and kung pwede bonus na lang kung gwapo haha!

candacena

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Re: Why can't we find love?
« Reply #328 on: July 05, 2019, 04:28:22 pm »
^very welcome sis!

Practical advice naman: browse profiles of guys, look at many many profiles and figure out your favorite profiles. What was it about the profile that you like the most? What about profiles you didn't like? Why didn't you like the profiles?

It will help guide you what is appealing on your profile and what not to do on your profile. Besides the looks syempre.

Neuroscience says that friendly looking eyes and smiles that show the teeth are the most attractive and favored faces. Humans are conditioned to think of safety and a smile and warm eyes make us feel safe (therefore approachable). Suggest choosing your primary photo as one where you show your teeth and where your eyes are "smiling" :)

sis bat ang galing mo sa mga ganyan. haha more tips

eischied_21

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Re: Why can't we find love?
« Reply #329 on: July 05, 2019, 06:10:34 pm »
I will just share these 4 mottos which I held onto. Nalimutan ko na yung iba.

1. Know thyself.
Kailangan ito para ma-identify mo ang importante sa iyo sa isang life partner.
2. People don't get what they want, because they don't know what they want. In dating context, if you don't know what you want, kung sino na lang yung dumating, who make you feel special and important, na kung saan ay magagaling ang mga narcs...
3. Be Ms. Right while waiting/looking for Mr. Right. Who is Mr. Right? Refer to #1.
4. Huwag kukuha ng bato, na ipupukpok sa ulo (related to #2)

And huwag ring mag-pa-pressure o matakot maging single forever. Kung meron, meron. Kung wala, wala. Sobrang problematic kapag may matinding issues ang naging asawa mo. I agree na based on scientific research, mas mahaba nga buhay ng may asawa. Pero pag daming issues ng asawa mo, depressive symptoms din ang labas mo, na nakakaikli rin ng buhay. Dun na ako sa single and fulfilled kung walang lalakeng pasok sa standards ko.

Thank you sis glamorosa for sharing your 4 mottos. This is what I believed in also "huwag ring mag-pa-pressure o matakot maging single forever. Kung meron, meron. Kung wala, wala." :)

glamorosa_09

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Re: Why can't we find love?
« Reply #330 on: July 05, 2019, 06:26:29 pm »
^you're welcome sis eschied... It's been more than a year ago na pala.

Yep wag magpa-pressure. I was reminded tuloy of the recent thread here regarding a former OFW woman. When she was single daw she was able to travel Europe and Asia and was able to make substantial investment/s. Naging asawa nya problematic, now she's jobless, feels lost, demotivated. Mukhang she's depressed and suffers from lost of identity.

Na-share ko lang :)

 


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