How do you handle being Single?

[hazelbrown_eyes27]

@Holdingon- yes sis.kaya its better to really wait for the right guy.Di yung para lang may masabing may bf or masabing may special someone lang.right timing pa rin ang the best!:)its really better to wait. Maraming nag asawa na makakahanap pa ng mas higit pa sa napangasawa. Pero, wala na silang magagawa kasi tali na sila. I think mga nag wewedding off, yun mga nag mamadali magka asawa dala ng pressure ng iba sa paligid. If they only waited for the right person for them, malamang di sila mag cacancel ng wedding.( Pero, on the other hand, pwedeng blessing in disguise na rin!) sign na wag mag madali sa pagpapakasal.

As for kung friends tayo.I dont know sis, maybe? what made you think so? similar situation or incidents?

[HoldingOn]

@Holdingon- yes sis.kaya its better to really wait for the right guy.Di yung para lang may masabing may bf or masabing may special someone lang.right timing pa rin ang the best!:)its really better to wait. Maraming nag asawa na makakahanap pa ng mas higit pa sa napangasawa. Pero, wala na silang magagawa kasi tali na sila. I think mga nag wewedding off, yun mga nag mamadali magka asawa dala ng pressure ng iba sa paligid. If they only waited for the right person for them, malamang di sila mag cacancel ng wedding.( Pero, on the other hand, pwedeng blessing in disguise na rin!) sign na wag mag madali sa pagpapakasal.

As for kung friends tayo.I dont know sis, maybe? what made you think so? similar situation or incidents?

sis, depende sa situation din. although you are right and what your saying is the most common of all. pero meron din na matagal na magpartners, as in more than a decade, and they feel na ito na, handa na, siya na, but for some reasons, God shakes them. 

[hazelbrown_eyes27]

^ Maybe that is why there is what they call, Long Engagement. Although, they feel they are sure about each other, but they are still giving some time to weigh things for them if they are really for each other. The longest engagement I think there was was 1.5 years? Maybe, in that 1.5 years that they gave to each other, something will make them realize if they are or not for each other. Its a testing of water thing. If no problem surfaced in that span of time, then go! if there is.. then, its a sign to separate.

When God shakes them in the relationship, there are times when its a test of how strong you 2 are to solve that problem and to make it right again, if 2 people wont be able to fix it anymore.. then, there you goes your sign. Usually, the test is something really hard.Like, you will really think things over if you can endure or accept this person if you will get married to them.

[lady gwenhwyfar]

so how do you handle being single? meron akong weekend depression actually, pag weekend na hindi busy. i feel so lonely and nag se self pity ako.
i joined a makeup class and driving lessons para busy ako pag weekend. problem is bago ako matulog, the sadness comes back. hay

also, the guy that i like doesn't like me back.i have a good paying job.i'm not lacking in the looks department so i was like, "how can he not like me?". and we work closely with each other everyday.it was doubly hard.

so how do you handle it mga sis? share your thoughts.

[Girltalker2]

Ako naman pinupuno ko schedules ko.  Pag hindi, marami akong to-do list na handy and force myself to do it. These are yung pag-ayos ng cabinet, wardrobe, shoes, kahit yung music files ko - kelangan din mag-ayos. Basta hindi ako nawawalan ng things to do. 

I also workout a lot. As in almost everyday. Kaya pagdating sa gabi, plakda ako. Marami parin ako gusto gawin like hair mask sa hair, face mask, body mask. hehe  Di ko nanga magawa lahat.

You enrolling on your interests is also good.  Also spent my time magpaganda, analyzing women/men/love in general hehe  Kaya sa aspect ng if I really like someone, I try to find 2-3 people I also like. Para kung ayaw nito sakin, meron pa naman iba. I also try to take things lightly, maybe later it will catch up on me. I don't know. Basta ngayon, ayaw ko ng sobrang serious. Pagod nako sa pagiging serious for over a decade.

[tipC_shoegal]

so how do you handle being single? meron akong weekend depression actually, pag weekend na hindi busy. i feel so lonely and nag se self pity ako.
i joined a makeup class and driving lessons para busy ako pag weekend. problem is bago ako matulog, the sadness comes back. hay

also, the guy that i like doesn't like me back.i have a good paying job.i'm not lacking in the looks department so i was like, "how can he not like me?". and we work closely with each other everyday.it was doubly hard.

so how do you handle it mga sis? share your thoughts.

Never let yourself be idle. There are a million things to do instead of being sad and pitying yourself. That's just lowering your self-esteem. Just like what sis Girltalker2 mentioned, fill your schedules up during the weekend. Mingle with happy and trustworthy people who really know what you're going through. Don't do "therapy sessions" when you hang-out with them, though 'coz the feelings might just come back and then you're back to the lonely part again.

Personally, when I don't go home and just spend time at my apartment, I make sure I enjoy watching my fave cable shows, watch a good movie on DVD, read a book I love or even catch up with good old girl friends/gay friends/guy friends! I haven't really explored the "working out" part because I'm a food lover and somehow it makes me feel good. Not that I binge or something to compensate for the loneliness but I don't know, eating just makes me feel great! I guess the working out will just come soon once I find the determination to do it really. One thing I really want to go back to is dancing. I'm a huge fan of dance and have done it years ago so I made a promise that I'd go back to it once I get more free time. Another activity that I do whenever I don't go home is cooking. I gained interest on this a few years back and have been wanting to further enhance my skill since I was the girl who never knew a lot in the kitchen.

When I go home, it's family bonding all the way! I play with two of my nephews and hang out a lot with my closest cousins. We'd watch movies together or simply talk about anything and everything and laugh our hearts out while doing those. It's great to have a really strong support system in them and I'm thankful for it really.

Lastly, whenever I feel the pang of all the heartbreaks I've gone through or simply anything that disturbs me or makes me feel amazing or great, I write them on my journal. I write anything from short essays, poems or simply an entry as if I'm talking to a friend. I let it all out there and it's actually a good way of expressing emotions especially when no one is available to listen to me.

[Girltalker2]

I haven't really explored the "working out" part because I'm a food lover and somehow it makes me feel good. Not that I binge or something to compensate for the loneliness but I don't know, eating just makes me feel great! I guess the working out will just come soon once I find the determination to do it really. One thing I really want to go back to is dancing. I'm a huge fan of dance and have done it years ago so I made a promise that I'd go back to it once I get more free time. Another activity that I do whenever I don't go home is cooking. I gained interest on this a few years back and have been wanting to further enhance my skill since I was the girl who never knew a lot in the kitchen.

sis!  we have some similarities pala din. hehe
I like eating.  I like dancing too!!!  So ang gawa ko talaga workout to the max.  Part of my workout is attending dance classes sa gym and these are not the hiphop ones but more of modern chacha/salsa - call them sexy dances dancing with the music of Jlo or pussycat dolls. And indeed, it makes you feel sexy and needing a man in your life! haha Turns out sila may kailangan sa iyo. 
That's the high I get from my dancing classes.

Cooking is in my list. Kaso my schedule just cannot make it possible now. Maybe pag nagsawa ako sa ibang activities ko, cooking and studying Italian would be next. 

Lastly, whenever I feel the pang of all the heartbreaks I've gone through or simply anything that disturbs me or makes me feel amazing or great, I write them on my journal. I write anything from short essays, poems or simply an entry as if I'm talking to a friend. I let it all out there and it's actually a good way of expressing emotions especially when no one is available to listen to me.

I am not really good at writing.  But I am also going back to reading, and will be buying myself a diary one of these days para I can start writing, and practicing. But what has been therapeutic for me recently is listening to music. Not the heartbreak music ha, but yung mga feel stronger music.

[tipC_shoegal]

^Uy, sis it's good to know that we both enjoy dancing, and eating!  Tama ka, dancing gives a good high and nakaka-help magrelease ng good hormones, too! I like dancing salsa and cha-cha-cha! Latin dances are really great and it does make one feel sensual and sexy and confident!  Good job 'yang ginagawa mo! How I wish I could enroll and really have dance lessons because that's the workout I want to have and then perhaps, when I lose weight a bit, I'd try yoga naman for more relaxation and flexibility despite the age! Hope you'd have time to try out cooking. It's cool. I'm not enrolled in any cooking class. Nagseself-study lang ako. So far, I think I've perfected my adobo. Next in the list would be my mom's menudo then the usual nilaga and sinigang and then I want to learn more on how to prepare gourmet sandwiches.

It doesn't really matter whether you're good in writing, sis. I sometimes write in Tagalog on my journal. It's therapeutic when you aren't really in the best disposition.

Music is VERY IMPORTANT to me! I can't last without good music (except if there's cable TV and a good book, of course). At work, in order for me to really get pumped, I make sure to play my music and everything falls into place. I listen to all genres mostly, even the quirky ones but just like you, I stay away from sappy songs because I don't really feel the need to listen to them. Listening to those types of music never helped me when I'm sad or whatever. It's very rare that I listen to "Love Songs" kaya MYMP, Nina, Jimmy Bondoc, Freestyle and Nyoy Volante never really gained following from me. Hehe. 

[HoldingOn]

so how do you handle being single? meron akong weekend depression actually, pag weekend na hindi busy. i feel so lonely and nag se self pity ako.
i joined a makeup class and driving lessons para busy ako pag weekend. problem is bago ako matulog, the sadness comes back. hay

also, the guy that i like doesn't like me back.i have a good paying job.i'm not lacking in the looks department so i was like, "how can he not like me?". and we work closely with each other everyday.it was doubly hard.

so how do you handle it mga sis? share your thoughts.

it would also help din siguro sis if you try to get to the root of the issue. ako kasi, with the guidance of others ha, whenever i feel so sad and alone, i try to assess myself. why do i feel this way? where is this feeling coming from? then, pag nakita ko na yung answer, saka ko na ina-address yung issues ko.

in a seminar that i last attended, the speaker said "You love a person because you see yourself in them; Love them without mirrors; Come from a space of love, and not from a space of need... Regulate and control your thoughts, words, anger, appetite, and even sexual desires. Do not let them control you"

[ettevyvi]

whenever i feel so sad and alone, i try to assess myself. why do i feel this way?

in a seminar that i last attended, the speaker said "You love a person because you see yourself in them; Love them without mirrors; Come from a space of love, and not from a space of need... Regulate and control your thoughts, words, anger, appetite, and even sexual desires. Do not let them control you"

Tama sis. It might sound crazy but you got to ask why you feel certain things. We have to rationalize some thoughts coz if we don't, we'll feel bad pa din.

I love your quote by the way. Very apt.

[tipC_shoegal]

"You love a person because you see yourself in them; Love them without mirrors; Come from a space of love, and not from a space of need... Regulate and control your thoughts, words, anger, appetite, and even sexual desires. Do not let them control you"

I really like this quote. It will definitely help a lot of single women out there. Thanks a lot for sharing!

[hazelbrown_eyes27]

Take your time, do not ever rush! Once you get married, you are tied forever!Dont get pressured by others, its not THEM who will live with the person once you get married,its YOU!Do not settle just because THEY think you should get married, its YOU who can feel it if the person you are with is the ONE for you. Do not get swayed by being told that YOU ARE VERY CHOOSY! Its your RIGHT to CHOOSE who you love, NOT THEM!

[tipC_shoegal]

^In truth, I don't get offended when I'm told that I'm choosy. I'm actually happy to hear such because it just shows that I put importance on myself and that I know what I should have. After all that I've been through and what I chose to do in my life and past relationships, I know better now that it's best to hold on to those standards. It's true that life has a funny way of making us realize stuff and by getting hurt and really feeling enormous pain, I proudly can say that I learned so much that's why I'm sticking to what I believe is right until I'm given the chance to love again. 

[ettevyvi]

Yes! Actually minsan nakakapressure when all of your friends are either coupled up or getting married. Pero yung drama, that I can't bear when listening to them hehe! I can now completely focus on what I just want without asking permission to do the things I want to do. I can ogle on guys everytime I want without this feeling that I have a boyfriend.

I want to make the best out of it so when the time comes I will be in a relationship again, I am already whole.

[prettychestnut]

Ako naman, nagagawa ko yung gusto kong gawin. Ayoko ng magisip pa ng problema. Kasi sa side ko, I've done my part as his gf, kumbaga, nagawa mo yung part na napasaya mo and you think that was enough na, right?

Hmmm, happy ako ngayon kasi hindi lang dahil sa may nakakausap akong iba but happy because i know marami nagmamahal sa akin. That's the point, and important din yun to feel that you were loved nga.

Binibigyan ko sarili ko full respect, kumbaga irekindle mo yung feelings nuon na wala ka pang boyfie, ganun lang. it was hassle at first but in the long run, masasanay ka rin. =)

[hazelbrown_eyes27]

@tipC_shoegal- sometimes, some people has this.. " at this day and your age, you cannot afford to be choosy anymore, your biological clock is ticking" kind of tone in their voice. That's what pisses me off.So pissed, I want to whack them in their face!:)

[tipC_shoegal]

^I so agree and honestly, I am tired of it because I know that fact but my point is, why settle for someone who is mediocre for my taste? I am grounded by faith and ang akin, kung ukol, bubukol and if it's God's will for me to be a wife and mother, I'd happily accept it but since I am not yet at that point, then I'd just do what is best and be ready for whatever. 

[ettevyvi]

^I so agree and honestly, I am tired of it because I know that fact but my point is, why settle for someone who is mediocre for my taste? I am grounded by faith and ang akin, kung ukol, bubukol and if it's God's will for me to be a wife and mother, I'd happily accept it but since I am not yet at that point, then I'd just do what is best and be ready for whatever. 

Ngayon ko lang narealize yun sis hehe. It's better to wait than settle. Hindi dapat yung pwede na just because for the sake of having one.

[dumpee.o13]

It's simple, just ENJOY your SINGLICITY! :')

[cynique]

LIKE: why settle for someone who is mediocre for my taste?