how do you discipline your kids?

[ichelie]

@marose and grumpy, i agree with your discipline styles! 

true that parents should be consistent in how they raise the kids!  ive seen the effects of inconsistent parenting style among children, so sad.  bale wala yung effort ng mom if the dad is not cooperating.  so the challenge to us is continually discuss with our partners hpow we want to raise and discipline our kids.  present possible scenarios on the child's behavior and ask what can be done by both if that happens.

as for @hunny ally's concern, true that scolding is different from disciplining.  disciplining may be positive.  one great tool is communicating properly.  not just when the child commits a misbehavior, but regularly.  if hubby is often busy with work, you may suggest that he calls your daughter every 1pm in the afternoon for just about 5-10 mins and talk about herself.  then on weekends, they can do an activity/ have a date for the two of them.  thisway, they get to know each other and they get to connect.  once relationship and rules are in place, disciplining may not be so stressful.

@marose, my son too ask so many questions.  why why, how come.  when they ask, you may answer a few, then throw back the question, like "how come you are interested in this?  thats nice, yet why?"  processing or asking your child based on what they offered is a means to go inside their world.  so tiring to answer all their questions.  i have one boy but you have two.  train them too to take turns when asking.  my son now smirks or shows non-verbal resistance when i explained something is wrong.  i explain to him what rude is, and if behavior is rude or acceptable.  of course, uulit at uulit sila.  but if they know what is not acceptable and we have consequences for it, (e.g if they fight about a toy, the toy would be kept from them), it would be easier (hopefully to remind them of the expected behavior.

just to share, my 4yr old son pushed my 2yr old daughter, cause ginulo ni girl yung books ni boy.  but i told him its really a "no-no" to hurt someone.  i put him on the "chillout" chair and not allowed to play with the sister. explained why, inspite of his tears. the yaya removed sister from sight.  its a torture for him not to play with his sister so after his timeout, he said, mom im ready to obey.

[thia]

hello, my boy has just recently turned 2 years old. and after niya mag 2, nag start na siya mag tantrums! nag t tantrums siya pa nawawala sa paningin niya si yaya. lets say nag day off si yaya, when he realizes na wala si yaya, he will look for her, then when i tell him na "yaya is not here eh, nag day off" nag wawala na. iyak ng iya and sumisigaw ng yaya, tapos tumatalon talon pa, ganun ka grabe. i think he can do that for more than 30 minutes. tapos may times naman na pag kakain na si yaya ng dinner, syempre ako yung mag babantay for the meantime. pag napansin niya ulit na wala si yaya, mag t tantrum naman siya. its so weird kasi before naman hindi siya ganun, as in its okay na mawala sa paningin niya si yaya... ngayon talaga hindi na. to think we sleep with him sa room, katabi namin sa bed matulog, pero ganun parin siya. Ang hirap lang talaga lalo na pag naka day off si yaya, its very very frustrating

[pinkpotato]

ang ayaw na ayaw ko sa son ko yung pagsinasaway ko siya lalo pa niya ginagawa parang nang iinis tinitingnan pa niya reaction ko hanggang ngayon na 2yrs old na siya.

my daughter is like this eversince now that she is 3 she still does this. the other day i bathe her tapos i left water lang sa pail then told her she can use the water to play as long as sa body nya na pupunta ang tubig. (play pa din term ko! LOL) then i saw her attempting to throw the water sa tabo, tapos sabi ko wag nya gawin yun kasi sayang, just rinse your body na lang thorougly, blah blah. she is holding the tabo and looking at me while im explaining. then nung nag stop na ako, wala pang 3 seconds, binaliktad nya tabo, tapon ang tubig. sarap batukan ng tabo! yung face nya pa parang, "you're done? Look!"

[mariadj]

can I discipline my 1 year old daughter? kasi namamalo ng ibang kids pag playtime, akala niya ata play yungganun

[beatrize zuri]

^ay naku sis, ganyan din yung 2yo dau ko, kaya laging bugbog sarado yung pinsan niyang 2 yo din, akala niya laro lang yon, kinakausap ko naman pero feeling ko hindi pa niya naiintindihan,. 

[mariadj]

mahilig kasi siya sa ibang bata eh, kaso nga lanag na eexcite maciado saka nangigigil pa minsan, kasi dati nung hindi pa niya natutunan yon siya yung nasasapak eh

[joyce09]

my daughter is like this eversince now that she is 3 she still does this. the other day i bathe her tapos i left water lang sa pail then told her she can use the water to play as long as sa body nya na pupunta ang tubig. (play pa din term ko! LOL) then i saw her attempting to throw the water sa tabo, tapos sabi ko wag nya gawin yun kasi sayang, just rinse your body na lang thorougly, blah blah. she is holding the tabo and looking at me while im explaining. then nung nag stop na ako, wala pang 3 seconds, binaliktad nya tabo, tapon ang tubig. sarap batukan ng tabo! yung face nya pa parang, "you're done? Look!"

till now na 2.4yr pld na siya ganun parin problema ko sa kanya di ko na nga alam anong disiplina ang gagawin ko yung tipong di siya masaway. pagsinabi mo na no kasi bla bla naku lalong gagawin at magtatantrums pa pagsinaway mo minsan nirereverse psychology ko hehe di rin effective. kaya pagkayang itolerate at kung ok  lang na di naman siya nakakasira ng bagay hinahayaan ko nalang pero yung nakakainis yung nakakasira siya o di kaya dangerous sa kanya di pwedeng hayaan nalang siya sa ginagawa niya. napapansin ko pa the more na nag iexplain ako lalo siya nagwawala kaya minsan 1word is enough then hayaan ko siya but i still keep my eyes on him baka kasi mapapano siya... parang di siya titigil pag di rin ako tumitigil sa kakasalita hehe.. hay hirap magpalaki ng anak sa way na gusto mong  i-mold ang personality to be a good individual paglaki.

[simplykristine08]

My 19 month old baby understands na pag sinabi kong 'face the wall'. Actually, hindi naman sya literal na magfface the wall talaga, pero kung saan ang pwesto nya, like nilagay ko sya sa isang tabi facing the wall or facing me, magstay lang sya dun hanggang sa pumayag ako na umalis na sya dun. Madalas, after a few minutes na iiyak sya, lalapit sya sakin tapos mag-eembrace sakin. Nakakalambot ng puso.

[twelvth_goddess]

^aaww Kenzo's such a good boy talaga Tin

[babymom20]

sa 2.1 yo daughter ko naman, napagsasabihan ko na. marinig lang nya na malakas boses ko, titigil agad at parang mabait na angel sa sobrang pagkakayuko. ang kaso naman, pag nakita nya nagmellow na naman ako, patingin-tingin yan sakin habang bumabalik sa dating ginagawa.minsan tinatago ko ang pagtawa eh. kasi parang panakaw yung paggawa nya, pag makitang tumingin na naman ako, titigil ulit. minsan naman, pag sinita ko, titigil nga. tapos pag nilapitan ko at parang nilalambing ko, saka naman biglang iiyak, parang lambing na ewan o minsan naman yung tono ng iyak parang sobrang sama ng loob na hindi nya nagawa ang gusto nya haha. pero sa tingin at boses lang nadadala na sya. pag sinabi ko na  "sige pag hindi ka tumigil, aalis ako." tigil agad yan hahaha

[marose17]

 I am not comfortable with the "takutan" strategy of discipline.  Ito ang style ng husband ko, unfortunately.  Gusto ko sanang baguhin.  I want kasi na positive ang pag-discipline, not negative like nga iyang takutan na if you don't do this, ganito, yada yada.

[babymom20]

^ with my baby po sa ngayon yun ang effective eh. kasi yun ang ayaw nyang ginagawa ko, yung aalis ako sa tabi nya. before nung start ko pa lang sya disiplinahin, i would tell her na stop na else hindi ko sya papansinin na or aalis na lang nga ako, dati hindi sya sumusunod, then ipapakita ko ngang exit ako ng door, iiyak syempre, babalikan ko naman agad. pero nakita nya, ginagawa ko pag sinabi ko kya siguro sumusunod. may reward system din, that if you drink this, we will play etc. paiba-iba naman kasi kung yun at yun ang maririnig, baka masanay at dedmahin na lang eventually.

[guilleanne]

I have a big problem din disciplining my 22 month old daugther. Ang style ng baby ko she finds kakampi pag pinapagalitan sya. tapos she tries muna na iwin ka or mag pacute tapos pag hindi parin sya pinayagan ayan mag hahanap na sya ng kakampi.

Like for example nag lalaro sya ng powder, I say no then I get the powder from her. First na gagawin nya she smile at me then will dance or she'll make a funny face or she'll kiss me, If nag smile ako or nag kiss back at natuwa sa kanya, she'll ask that I give her the powder back, if hindi nag work yung pagpapacute nya iiyak na sya, sometimes hahampasin pa ako sa frustration nya. If walang ibang tao, mabilis lang naman sya mag calm down, tapos maya maya mag kikiss na sakin as if to say peace na tayo mama.

ang malaking problema ko pag anjan ang mga kunsintidor at kunsintidora na hindi maka resist sa pacute nya. number 1 ang papa nya, kasi seaman so parang to make up for lost time, eh ayun laging pag bibigyan or susuyuin, tapos ang lola nya at mga tito ganun din, hindi nila sinasaway at laging pinag bibigyan. so pag anjan sila goodluck, pag binawal ko lalapit lang yun sa kakampi sa kanya. haayy

[Dacian]

i always just say "no" whenever she bit me while breastfeeding her.  she's only 6 months old.

[glamorosa_09]

^nakakaintindi ba sis? ganyan din yung 7 months old ko eh... nipple chomper... buti na lang mataas ang pain tolerance ko...

[Dacian]

@glamorosa_09
yes, she is learning the meaning of "no" by tone of my voice used.  at first, she smiles at me and worst... laugh at me.  but i have to be firm and not manghina sa pa-cute nya.  when she realized that i'm really serious, behave na sya.

[simplykristine08]

Thanks Van! Hehe. Super kulit din ni K, sis! As in! Pero medyo takot sya kapag nagagalit na ako kaya ganun. Pero sobrang sweet talaga ni K, yan ang puri ko talaga sakanya

[marose17]

@guilleanne, if there are things that are supposed to be off limits to your daughter, make sure you keep them in a safe place that she cannot easily reach.  It's not really a matter of discipline eh, more on baby-proofing your house.

@babymom20, my concern with your strategy is this:  what if you really have to go out and leave your kid?  She might think you are doing that to punish her.  It is quite confusing for a child eh.  Yung "I will go away/(do something) if you do not follow me" style.  Pati ang rewards system, hindi rin ako sang-ayon if the child will act based on the reward alone.  I would rather explain to my kids why eating veggies/drinking milk/doing what I want them to do is good for them.  I explain to them the consequences rather than reward them for doing what they should be doing in the first place.

[babymom20]

^ ah opo. ganito kasi po sis marose. yung sa pagdiscipline ko sa kanya, iba-iba naman. depende sa ginagawa nya. kung simple no, dont this because blah blah, yes i explain the consequence of her action pag tinuloy nya, but at her age normal naman siguro na hindi nya yun naiintindihan pa ng mere words lang. sometimes, i give her a feel ng sinasabi ko. like sa hot objects esp coffee or food, she try to touch it, syempre sasawayin, sasabihan na mapapaso sya. ayaw magpapigil, hayun, dinampi ko finger nya sa cup, enough for her to feel what hot mean, hayun, pag sinabing hot, hindi na nya hahawakan,even sa food. with the spicy foods naman, minsan kinuha yung hot sauce, of course aawatin,  ayaw paawat, pinatikim ko nung hot sauce, hayun lawit dila nya, haha. naka ready naman yung water nya. so now, pag sinabing anghang or spicy, bibitiwan na nya agad.

re threatening na aalis, last resort na po yun sis. at yun pag worst tantrums na nya. after all the attempt to appease her at ayaw pa ring tumigil sa kakaiyak, that's when i will tell na aalis na ko, i will leave her, pag hindi talaga tumitigil, iniiwan ko na kesa masaktan ko pa. kasama naman nya yaya, kung pag talikod ko tumatawag sakin, binabalikan ko after ilang seconds, tigil na yan. dyan na rin yung mga litanya na mommy loves you but be a good girl lang. love ka ni mommy but hindi ikaw ang masusunod pa blah blah. nakikinig naman sya habang humihikno. ayaw kong maging audience ng tantrums nya lalo kung hindi naman sya naaano talaga. she knew naman pag may nagawa syang mali, facial expression palang, tahimik na sya. yuyuko na yan. magsosorry. no problem din naman pag wala ako sa bahay, pag tinanong sya kung nasaan ako, sasagot sya ng "office".  generally good girl naman ang baby ko. hindi nya masyado kelangang sigawan para sumunod. most of the time, pag sabihin lang sya ng malumanay na "please, please stop its not a toy/good" tumitigil naman na agad. yun lang after a while babalik na naman. pero hindi naman maiwasan talaga may mga challenging moments. isa pang order ko sa yaya wag na wag akong gagamitin sa pananakot sa bata. dati kasi sabihan lang si baby na magagalit ako, sumusunod na agad. kasi pag galit na nga ako, yun yung iiwan ko na talaga sya o hindi ko na sya papansinin o lalaruin. which is ayaw na ayaw nya. when im at home, tali na sakin yun. alam na rin naman nya ang uwian ko. pag hapon daw magsisimula na yan tumawag ng mommy o magyaya sa labas pag may narinig na sasakyan. 

[marose17]

^ Yes, I agree that the yaya should not use the pananakot strategy.