how do you discipline your kids?

[kaiz]

my son naman is sooo naughty and so playful! he's such a baby pa talagA! he's 27 months already pero parang di ka pa nakakausap talaga ng seryoso. i mean we have a neighbor kasi na same age lang ng son ko pero talagang nasasabihan na ng BEHAVE and nakikinig naman. when i opened this up sa pediA niya, ang sabi eh "wala pa ba kayong planong sundan? para may sense of responsibility na siya"

[ichelie]

^^pinkpotato & ^ kaiz, you can start teaching kids a sense of responsibility as young as a year old.  if theyre responding to instructions.  this is as simple as putting toys in the box/buckets, putting books in the table, putting clothes in the hamper, bringing their bottle to its place, even their shoes.  they like it, and treat is as play too!  its never too young to train them. 

@pinkpotato, youre doing things well in starting to tell your child - which are toys and which are moms things.  they need to learn to respect other's belongings too.  keep it up and be consistent!

warning if moms and yayas are always to the rescue:  chances are children would lack a sense of responsibility towards their belongings and what they do when they enter school.  i noticed this among my cases.  when chidlren always loses things, forgets this and that early in grade school, the first thing i ask the student or moms: WHO FIXES the CHILD's THINGS? 

@kaiz, as for being naughty and playful, 27 months is not a baby anymore.  children develop differently.  as you said, your child is playful.  use that playfulness to your advantage and start talking seriously to your child - NEVER BABY TALKS.  lay down rules and expectations.  even if kids does not respond, explain to them why we do things.  "we have to put the toys in the bin so it wont get broken..."  "we have to eat properly so we wont be hungry..."  hindi solution yung sundan ng another child [textspeak!] pag develop ng sense ng reposibility.  if youll have another child, and your first is not ready, the more problems youll have later.  so arm yoruself well with this child, see his skills and preferences.

you might want to arm yourselves to Discipline your kids.  Love Institute is offering Disciplining with Love seminar.  Only limited slots available!  See this link http://handymommy.wordpress.com/. 

[kaiz]

^thanks sis. we can ask him naman to throw his candy wrappers and trash sa trash can, put away his clothes (and his daddy's!) sa hamper, drop all coins sa piggy bank, etc. although we can't ask him talaga to sit still while eating, to behave inside the car and things like that.

[showermist]

^thanks sis. we can ask him naman to throw his candy wrappers and trash sa trash can, put away his clothes (and his daddy's!) sa hamper, drop all coins sa piggy bank, etc. although we can't ask him talaga to sit still while eating, to behave inside the car and things like that.

well, that's normal. 

if he can't sit still(kinda) while eating, you can give him choices. yung choices na magtatanda sya so long as it wil not traumatic (mga choices na no tv later, or we'll pt back the high chair etc)

pag sa car naman, choices such as: you'll stay home or behave in the car (wala ka bang carseat, sis?)

take out privileges they enjoy.

[y_a_d_a_h]

I so love this discussion! Parang i want to know if there are moms out there who does what i do. I am guilty that i spank my son (3yo), so sometimes pag talagang umiiyak na sya and i ask him if he understood why Mamie spanked him, and he answers "yes!" hug na sya sa akin and i tell him that it doesn't mean that Mamie doesn't love him when Mamie spanks.
But really, he teaches me the real meaning of PATIENCE! As in!

:-)

[electricpink17]

sooobraang patience talaga ang kailangan natin mga sis!

2 years old na my son kaya sobrang likot at mahilig manampal. at first, pinapalo namin siya. noong
madalas siyang pinapalo nagiging matamlay kaya hindi na namin ginagawa. haba nalang ng patience at kinakausap namin. and napansin ko din before na kung paano namin siya pagalitan at pinapalo, ginagaya niya at ginagawa sa yaya niya.

[kawen]

I've been thinking how to instruct the yaya/my sisters to discipline my son, he's 1 1/2 yrs. old na. I only see him twice a month (usually 2-3 days spend with him), good thing everytime I go home HE REMEMBERS ME, KNOWS ME.. Any tips ano sasabihin ko sa yaya/gaurdians? One time pinagalitan ko siya (test lang), kase malikot, sabi ko kase NO, makulit pa din, tinaasan ko ng boses (NO) and spank him just a little, natakot, sumandal sakin tapos biglang umiyak ng grabe... and sometimes my sisters would tease him pag sinasaway siya, pinapagalitan, yung sasabihan nila "Weeeeh.. Kawawaaa... Weeee" feeling niya he's so bullied, parang ganun, he would lean again sakin, mgpapakampi, then cry so hard, tapos I show him na pinapagalitan ko ang mga sisters ko... Parang soft hearted 'tong anak ko, when I was pregnant kase I was really depressed and down, hiniwalayan ko yung bf ko...

Please help.. I'm really worried.. hope my son grows up okay even without me by his side all the time.

[grumpybear]

^when you tell him NO, do you teach him what to do instead? My experience kasi with my kids, when they're doing something that they're not supposed to do, it's because they're not aware of what should be done instead. They don't do these annoying things to piss me off. It's just their way of exploring. So when I tell them that they cannot do something, I give them options on what to do instead.

[nkrx]

I do the same thing. Pag sinabi kong NO dapat I also explain what behavior I am saying NO to and what they should be doing. I also don't say Bad Boy or Bad Girl. My masamang effect din daw kasi yon sa kids thinking they are bad. So I say something like "Don't do that because it's not nice". I make sure they know that it's the behavior I don't approve of, not them.

For the longest time, stand in the corner has worked for me too. Sabi sa mga books na nabasa ko, 1min per year of age. Hehe! Kasi pag too small tapos masyadong matagal, they forget why they are standing there na. Then it defeats the purpose.

[babymom20]

^ wow! thanks grumpybear sa tip! more please! 

[jiabanana]

hindi ko pa napapalo mga anak ko *sana wag mangyari haha*. I'd like to believe that being a psych grad is paying up. lol.

Usually they start at 2 years old also known as the "terrible twos" haha. It's the stage where children explore their environment na, and how things react to what they do. They want to feel in control and independent from mommy and daddy (yes, as little as they are, they want to lol.) Dito very very important to teach them what's proper and not.

mapapansin niyo rin siguro they want to have a say as to what they'll eat, what to wear and toys they want to play. And their favorite word "NO" is their *cute* declaration of independence from parents. Like what our sister said, offer them choices *reasonable ones ha*. If they ask why it can't go their way, explain, in a way that they'll understand pero don't baby talk isa yun sa mga pet  peeves ko sa mga parents, you are the authority and not a regular playmate of your child. 

last na to promise. Toddlers want you to set limits, they do. It's in their intuition that mommy and daddy won't let anything bad happen to me. The limits are their security. When they "test" the limit *and they will* they're testing how consistent and dependable you are. 

[kawen]

^when you tell him NO, do you teach him what to do instead? My experience kasi with my kids, when they're doing something that they're not supposed to do, it's because they're not aware of what should be done instead. They don't do these annoying things to piss me off. It's just their way of exploring. So when I tell them that they cannot do something, I give them options on what to do instead.

Hi sis grumpybear!!!

Well, that time he wants to get my celphone/camera, he usually drops my phone so I don't want to give it to him, I give him other things para doon ang attention niya, pero gusto niya talaga yong phone, pinagalitan ko... when he cried, I hugged him and tried to calm him down.. para makalimutan niya..

Thanks..

[electricpink17]

haysss.. its a very challenging job talaga magdiscipline ng kids. i want to discipline my kid in a way na hindi siya magiisip ng masama or i guess hindi sasama ang loob niya and at the same time hindi niya ma-feel na pwede niyang gawin lahat ng gusto niya or ma-spoil siya... 

[blackberryqueen]

Finally, i found this thread. I'm having problems myself disciplining my child, so i'm trying to get inputs from fellow mommies. My daughter is turning into a spoiled brat bcoz we live with our inlaws, she's the only apo so everyone is doting on her.

She knows how to say sorry naman pag pinapagalitan, mangiyak-ngiyak pa, but after a while she repeats the same mistake. So it's becoming frustrating, and I don't want to spank her sana as much as possible. The thing is, it took a long while for us to have a baby kaya she's very precious to us.

I'm thinking of depriving her things pag me ginagawa sya mali. Is it effective? One more thing, is it okay to keep my child away from my in-laws muna? Ang  hirap kasi mag-instill ng discipline when they're just readily available for my child to run to pag pinapagalitan.

[joyce09]

totoo yan sis its not  easy to set the rules and to be consistent pag may ibang taong nakikialam sa gagawin mong pagdescipline sa anak mo di maging effective at mahirap kasi useless lang ang effort mo dahil meron silang matatakbuhan parang ang dating mo tuloy sa anak mo kontrabida sa buhay nila...

[ichelie]

^ ^^ get your hubbies' cooperation.  discuss what you want to happend and how you want to implement your discipline style.  then its his task to make his family know about it.  pag di mamakakaiwas, ilayo nyo si baby when talking or disciplining.  consistency is the key.  ive seen cases of children that are results of inconsistent rules in the family.  the more troubing pag nasa grade school na.  now, it seems not alarming!

[grumpybear]

How old is your daughter, blackberryqueen? Mahirap nga yon if parating may sumasalba sa bata like the grandparents? Is it possible for you to talk to them about supporting you when you are disciplining your child? Maski hindi na sila ang mag-disiplina, basta wag ka lang nila kontrahin or wag nilang i-save yung daughter mo when you are disciplining them?

[chasiderwin]

2 years old na my son kaya sobrang likot at mahilig manampal. at first, pinapalo namin siya. noong
madalas siyang pinapalo nagiging matamlay kaya hindi na namin ginagawa. haba nalang ng patience at kinakausap namin. and napansin ko din before na kung paano namin siya pagalitan at pinapalo, ginagaya niya at ginagawa sa yaya niya.

same tayo sis ganyan din ang baby ko 17mos old (boy) naman, kapag nasasabihan ko na "wag baby bad yan" mag iiyak-iyakan pa. May times din na kapag nasosobrahan siya napapalo ko ang kamay niya. Then sinasabi ko na bad at walang kampi-kampi, kasi kapag umiyak si yaya anjan agad nang-aalo sa kanya  ,  my times na talagang nauubos na pasensya ako at napapalakas palo ko sa kamay niya dahil sa hilig manampal at mamalo.  Kapag nakikita ko umiiyak minsa inaalo ko narin dahil kapag nasobrahan, sumusuka na kaya minsan di ko na alam gagawin ko.

[jiabanana]

^^ sa child psych it's not advised to limit space or interaction. They're at the age of discovering kasi. The goal is to let them discover while teaching them the principle of what's socially acceptable or not. If you limit your child in a box masasanay siya sa space na yun, sa interaction na yun. Wala ng discovery, wala ng learning therefore no more growing..

[jiabanana]

same tayo sis ganyan din ang baby ko 17mos old (boy) naman, kapag nasasabihan ko na "wag baby bad yan" mag iiyak-iyakan pa. May times din na kapag nasosobrahan siya napapalo ko ang kamay niya. Then sinasabi ko na bad at walang kampi-kampi, kasi kapag umiyak si yaya anjan agad nang-aalo sa kanya  ,  my times na talagang nauubos na pasensya ako at napapalakas palo ko sa kamay niya dahil sa hilig manampal at mamalo.  Kapag nakikita ko umiiyak minsa inaalo ko narin dahil kapag nasobrahan, sumusuka na kaya minsan di ko na alam gagawin ko.

Usually pag nag iiyak iyakan or nagttemper tantrums, basta the child is in a safe place and walang mangyayari, you just let them be, mapapagod din yan (hehe). As for palo, have you tried talking muna before making palo? Did you try to set consequences?