how do you discipline your kids?

[marose17]

^ When I take my sons to the mall, which is rare, I tell them beforehand that we're going to buy just a pair of shoes, or go to the grocery to buy food, etc.  If I do not have plans to buy them anything, I tell them that we're not going to buy anything.  I purposely do not lead them to toy stores haha.  But when we do go to toy stores, I tell them right away that we will not buy anything, we will just look.  They understand naman.

Kime, normal lang for toddlers to assert their independence or make pa-pansin sa parents nila.  The key is to be consistent and firm.  You have to show him who's boss.  Kids need structure and order and when they throw tantrums or act up, it's really our job as parents to correct them and restore order.

[grumpybear]

marose17, same tayo ng approach. My son knows if it's a toy buying trip or not. Minsan din we visit the toy section of the store without buying. He'll hold and play with the toys a bit pero alam nya na isosoli yon without us buying it.

[marose17]

^ I learned my lesson kasi one time, I took them to a shoe store.  My plan was to let them try on a few pairs so that I know which size and pair to get on my next trip to the mall.  However, one of my sons, after fitting a pair of sandals, refused to remove the sandals.  I had to buy it.   

[pinkcoyote]

Hindi talaga nasanay sa malling ang anak ko, and when we go to mall, hindi rin naman sya nasanay na kelangan may bitbit kami pag uwi, masaya na sya na windowshop lang ayoko talaga sanayin kasi pag di napagbigyan mahirap na.

consistency is really the key.. patience lang talaga at dapat firm.

[grumpybear]

I think how I approach tantrums is, una, I try to see what's causing the tantrum. My son throws very few tantrums. Most times, it's because pagod siya and does not know yet how to process being pagod.
Second, I don't take tantrums personally. So it really does not get to me much.
Third, my son knows that tantrums don't get him anywhere. Kaya lang minsan, kailangan talaga mag-expend ng energy so minsan it's in the form of a tantrum. I just calmly tell him that when he is ready to be reasonable, then we can talk. In the meantime, kung kailangan nya maglupasay, then so be it. This never fails. After a few minutes, he'll be calm and come up to me (with matching hikbi) saying that he is ready to be reasonable and that he is ready to talk. Then we talk and it's a more productive type of talk where he learns something.

[kimebies]

Thanks for the inputs, Sis. Kasi naman my son, he doesn't insist on buying the toys naman- nagagalit lang sya if aalis kami agad sa toy store na nage-enjoy pa sya. In fact, sya pa mismo nagre-return ng mga stuff sa shelves minsan when he's in the mood and we say that it's time to go na.

[pinkcoyote]

grumpybear, how old is your son? i just wonder what age can they comprehend na "being reasonable" ?.. kasi my 3.5 yr old daughter the past couple of months napapadalas tantrums..almost every night eksena sa bahay namin kelangan mag-ngangawa at kaladkarin ko sya sa cr para magready na matulog. syempre ako antok at pagod na din, kaya minsan napapalo ko sya sa pwet kapag super nag iinarte na talaga. hay. nakakaguilty nga kasi when i started spanking her, napansin ko when she throws tantrums may kasama na ding palo (and sabunot!) for me! as in gigil na gigil pa sya nung sinaktan nya ko ha. naiyak talaga ko coz i blamed myself with her behavior...so iniwasan ko na mamalo and sumigaw..as ive said kelangan lang talaga mahabaaaaaaaang patience and consistency. but so far, nakakaya ko na ulit na wag sumigaw or mamalo, i really try my best kahit pagod na ko.

[marssie]

^Naku sis ako din minsan nagaganyan ng  anak ko, may times na pag pinagalitan ko siya sasagutin ako ng kung anong sinabi ko sabay kumpas pa ng kamay kung paano ko rin kinumpas ang kamay ko..

[pinkcoyote]

^true sis, ginagaya lang talaga nila yung nakikita nila satin.. kaya kelangan sobrang ingat tayo.

[maeka]

ako naman mga sis..before palo talaga ang abot ng panganay ko kapag unruly...kaya lang kapag makulit yung younger brother nya ganun din ginagawa nya..kaya ang solution namin magasawa is minimize yung palo more on strict tone of voice kapag pinapagalitan tapos explain kung bakit...kapag di pa din umepekto time out muna, dun sya sa sofa lang or sa kwarto...

[grumpybear]

pinkcoyote , my son is 3 months shy of 4y.o.
Hindi kami dumaan sa terrible twos. And the threes aren't that bad either pero dumating na yung occasional tantrum.
And yes, minsan talaga nakaka-frustrate din but I just have to remind myself to step back. If I have to give myself a timeout, I do that. Kapag nararamdaman ko na na parang nakaka-tempt syang paluin, I just tell him that mommy needs a timeout and when he is ready to be calm and talk, then he can come over and talk to me.
I make sure he does not feel abandoned by me. I just make it clear to him na walang ma-re-resolve kapag incoherent sya and he is throwing a tantrum.

[pinkcoyote]

thanks a lot grumpybear, yes youre right - sometimes we're the ones who really need a time out. but we shouldnt make them feel we abandon them as consequence of what they did. Thanks a lot

[kaiz]

my son is just 1 year and 4 months but i feel na talagang darating yung time na matetest talaga patience. Ngayon pa nga lang eh super hyper na and super kulit, how much more when he turns 2

[LovingMom31]

this site is very interesting and usefull mga advises..

[ananinajaen]

mga mommy same problem tayo sa pag dicipline ng mga anak natin, ako di ko napipigilang sumigaw kasi super kulit ng dalawang anak ko my first baby is 4 yrs old na ang second 2 yrs old...super likot ng bunso, nag ka nodule na nga ako sa kakasigaw ang kaka bawal kaya hangat maari bawal ako magsalita habang di pa ako nagpapa opera, ang ginagawa ko time out din pinag hihiwalay ko sila ng room pag pareho mainit ulo nila then after a minute lang ok na sila, di talaga dapat sinisigawan mga bata lalo kasi sila nagugulo and akala nila pag sumigaw sila mapapasunod tayo mga mommy or iba kidz na nakakasalumaha nila....this is my first time na mag post bago lang po ako dito, dami ko kasi natutunan sa mga post ng mga mommy dito. tnx.

[wkt]

sa amin, we spank pero madalas ako angnakakapalo sa daughter ko.  minsan kasi namamalo, nangungurot or nang-sasabunot.  we tell her not to and im sure she understands, kaya lang andun yung parang sinusubok nya if we are really serious.  minsan ganyan yan, namamalo then once sinaway mo bigla tatawa or magpapa-kiss or sasayaw then mamamalo nanaman.  alam nya na cute siya and sometimes matatawa ka na lang as a reaction pero ayun, consistency is the key nga so after a few mindful "no hitting!"  in a serious tone (not shouting ha), oag inulit pa din i will spank her na with matching panagaral.  tapos iiyak yun pero kunwari serious ako.  after a few minutes i will tell her, 'sige na bati na tayo, hug mo na si mommy'. 

naku, now she's about to turn 2 eh tumitigas ang ulo and gusto na i-assert ang independence.  pinagpe-pray na lang namin na hindi naman kami mahirapan sa pag-discipline sa kanya.

[delisyus]

Just want to share a blog post I made on parenting and discipline which we learned from a parenting seminar... this is basically what we follow

it is so hard to be consistent and implement the rules... but so far, despite the challenges, I can say we're doing ok as a family and our son, even if he isn't the most well-behaved boy isn't a brat either

we spank... not all the time and usually when he's not responding to other methods... there are soooo many ways to discipline a child and enforce consequences so just using one method would be impractical and stupid kasi a lot nga will depend on the child's age, temperament, mood, needs, etc.

[seraphim]

same dilemma with my 2 yr old son...

hindi na siya takot sa akin kasi everytime pinapagalitan ko  lagi to the rescue his nana.. kaya ayan ang hirap sawayin...

he's obedient naman and well-behaved, pero lately napapansin ko namamalo, nangugurot, and mega-sipa sa yaya niya.. feeling ko nakita niya yun sa kuya niya (his 5 yr old cousin)...

pag pumupunta kasi dito mga cousins niya, pinapakita ni 5 yr. old cousin to my little one all of his "rowdy stuff." feeling ko ginagawang "role model" ng baby ko his cousin kasi he told us na he'll do what his kuya does.

ibang klase talaga his cousin, ayoko naman na kami ng ate ko (his mum) ang magaway because of his son's attitude. and ang mahirap pa, hubby is working abroad kaya ako lang ang nagdiscipline sa kanya and hindi na nga sumusunod sa akin dahil he's somewhat spoiled by his nana.

help!

[chemay]

ako naman!
Mine is 3yrs- girl...wala naman akong problema sa kanya sa mall...natatawa ako sis kasi pag nasamall kami tapos may gusto cya, kinukuha nya tapos pag aask cya sa akin..sabihin nya "mommy! I like this...yes or no?" tapos sasabihin ko na no, next time na..mommy no money..ok? tapos magreresponse nalang cya na ok next time tapos ibababa na nya yung toy hehhe...
Lately sis...naiinis ako sa kaartehan kasi kung alam nya nice yung dress nya kahit nasa mall kami tapos malamig, titiisin nya...so one time, talagang ayaw nya mag sweatshirt...talagang naiinis na ako...so sinabihan ko cya na fine! don't wear it..mommy will leave you...tapos bigla ko binilisan lakad ko pero nakatingin pa rin ako sa kanya ha tapos sumunod tinatawag ako tapos sabi nya i will wear sweatshirt mommy pls. don't leave me...so yun!
Nakakainis di ko alam gagawin ko kasi tigas minsan ulo eh...so di ko maiwasan na takutin ko nalang para susunod sa akin..haayy

[DV]

Some parents really have no control over their children!

As I was changing my baby's nappy (in her stroller) in the toilet at the mall, this little girl (about 3 or 4 yo) came over and greeted her.  She found my baby so cute, so she squeezed her hand.  I didn't mind (kahit na I just washed my daughter's hands and this girl just came out of the cubicle) pero mayamaya nanggigil na talaga sya and she started squeezing her cheeks with her both hands!  As in gigil kurot na!  No mom around yet and I had my hands full, so I calmly told her, "No, don't squeeze her face."  Eto na si mom (the little girl called her, "Mom, look at the baby, she's so cute!"), she just stood beside her daughter and the girl  kept squeezing my baby's cheeks and I kept telling her no.  The mom put alcogel on her hands.  The little girl asked, "so I can touch the baby?"  I didn't hear a response from the mom.  She said no too a little later but the little girl just kept doing it (as in she kept doing it about 5 times and I had to pry her fingers from my daughter's face), na-annoy na ako kasi red na yung cheeks ni baby.  And then the little girl asked why she couldn't squeeze her face.  I told her because her skin's very soft, see her face is already red.  All this time the mom wasn't doing anything (like take her daughter away from mine) kahit nakatingin na ko sa kanya.  She just threatened to leave her child.  They finally left and the mom didn't even apologize for her child's actions.  When I looked at my baby's cheeks closely I saw she had scratches on her right cheek.  Sobrang naawa ako and I didn't get to talk to the mom because I was in between changing nappies and taking her daughter's hands away from my baby's face.  Sya naman pinapabayaan lang nya.  I assumed a parent seeing her child do that to someone (way younger at that) would discipline her.  Wala!  Kung yaya pa siguro yung kasama nung bata mas masasaway pa nya yun!  I'm saying this because this is not the first time it has happened.  May isang parent, ang panakot pa, "O come here na, yaya is here na."  I really don't mind when children throw tantrums in public.  Kapag misbehaving ang bata towards another, that really gets to me.  As in nakatanga lang ang magulang.  Nothing.