Is it right to avoid a "friend"?

[Escapaira]

for me depende sa case syempre, ina-avoid ko rin yung mga taong alam mo na parang ginagamit ka lang o nakikipagplastikan.

^ ganyan din gagawin ko kung nalaman kung gnagamit lang ako.

[angelzero]

i don't know if i'm mean or what. i don't feel bad when i avoid friends who done me wrong. serves 'em right. less stress for me.

[elainedprof]

Madali lang sa aking mag-un attach ng friend. might be defense mechanism ko na yun. I dont want to be taken advantage of. Pero di naman ibig sabihin na wala akong bestfriend. Choosy lang talaga ako sa mga friends ko.

[riksy07]

Recently sisses I've been going through a lot of stress because of avoiding two of my used-to-be gal pals sa office.

It started last year nung maging close kami. In fairness din naman sa kanila, they were there when I was trying to build myself up after breaking up with my ex. And I think I was also there for them during those times na I can help them. But for some reason, after I got back from a month long trip, I didn't feel the same kind of "amor" for them anymore. It was like going on the trip gave me time to assess my overall relationship with them. From something really nice, our friendship turned something I didn't want anymore. I didn't want to go on hour-long meryenda breaks anymore, I didn't want to complain about our work and our co-workers anymore, I didn't want to go out on movie nights or eat out and go home late. Tapos sa office we are branded as brats, mga pasaway. It hurts to be branded like that kasi alam ko sa sarili ko hindi naman ako ganun. Hindi naman ako nambabara ng officemate. But because I go with them, damay din ako.  Marami sa ginagawa namin dati yung ayoko ko nang gawin. I personally have nothing against them. But I now find myself wanting to be alone more and ai'm happy about it because it gave me more time to pursue things that I really want and most of those things are not stuff I share with them because they like other things, things that I'm not interested naman.

Eto pa, when I got back from my trip, I was still suffering from jet lag. My moods were really off and I was also PMS-ing at the time. I felt grumpy due to lack of sleep and that was the time pa naman that I started to distance myself from them.

So what I did was I went back to being a desk-eater during lunchtime. I had my shift moved from 8-5 so that I could go home early. I cut the time I spent with them and I didn't talk to them much anymore. But if they talked to me I would respond naman. But hindi na ako nag iinitiate ng conversation.

I feelt really bad because I know that they have not taken it well, lalo na wala akong binigay na reason. Pero kasi I'm not the confrontational type. I really am scared na baka sa pag uusap pa eh may masabi pang mga bagay na makakapagpalala ng situation.

I feel really bad about myself but after seeing yung mga pinost about me sa social networks I feel that a sorry from me is too late. Is it wrong to avoid people you are not happy to be around anymore? Wala na nga akong sinabi para walang away, all our secrets are safe. Umiwas lang ako at binawasan ang time with them. Am I really that bad of a person?

[molybdenumstudios]

YES, it's allowed, and there's no special rule whether it is allowed or not. Marami na akong cases na ganyan eh, and rather than befriending them again or AKO ang mag-a-approach sa kanila, I just snub them for good.

[oreo08]

Kung ginago ka ng friends mo, i think ok lang na you drop them as friends.

Ako nga, childhood friend ko nalaman ko kung ano ano pala sinasabi behind my back and causing troubles pa with me and my other friends. Ayun, dropped her no questions asked! Inaway ko muna ng sobra sobra at pinahiya ko hanggang umiyak sya sa pamilya nya.

Isa pa, 2 close friends ko nalaman ko kung ano ano rin sinasabi behind my back. Kinausap ko para paaminin tapos nun I cut them off. Nagiba ako ng number after I confronted them. Blocked sa fb, email, whatsapp, twitter, everything! Eto talagang 2 to walanghiya talaga as in mga 3 yrs na pala nila ako pinagchichismisan kaya hindi ako naghesitate magretaliate sa kanila. :p


I love myself kaya pag may nangwalanghiya sakin, talagang hindi ko mapatawad

[nessy]

Depende iyan sa reason. E kapag winalanghiya ka naman, ano pa ba ang dapat gawin? You should love yourself at hindi ka dapat papayag na gawin ang mga bagay na hindi maganda sa iyo/sa pagkatao mo. Ako nga, si partner may kids yan sa una, mabait ako kong sa mabait sa kanila. Bigay lahat talaga ako. Pero minsan winalanghiya ako, ay talaga naman! Lahat ng hindi maganda narinig nila sa akin at walang nagawa si partner. And ngayon nahihirapan sila sa sitwasyon nila, hindi sila makalapit sa akin. Pinapadaan pa sa mother ni partner, akala naman nila lulusot sila. Kahit sino pang ipadrino nila, ang mga pinaggagawa nila sa akin, nakatanim na lahat yon sa isip ko!

[chinkywinky]

Ngayon ko lang ulit na-visit tong thread na to, wala akong kwentang thread starter 
Anyways, I avoided my so-called 'friend' na totally. Minsan nagpaparamdam sya, pero malamang nahalata nya na rin na iniiwasan ko siya. Ang happy ng life ko, walang negative vibes 

[chicafabulosa]

I dont know mga sis if im just stone hearted when it comes to weeding out bad weeds in my life ive done this recently. Not just a friend but group of them. I eventually recently realized i helped this one friend who belongs to thag group and i got burned... weird right because i use smiley pa but its how i felt when i started avoiding them. Deleted some them from fb, put some on restricted mode (keep your friends close but keep your enemy closer). I dont like how one person from this group perceived what is a friend for her. That it is alright to twll other people in the group "update" what went happen while youre not with them but this sharing isnt about something good that happened but something that is degrading to the other party... And they call it sharing... Well not for me, i call it gossiping. If they can do it with that person why they cant do it with me right? Its not hard for me to let them go. Besides they never helped me anyways. They were good times friends lang hehe...

No negative people, no negative vibes. More positive things to come..

[chinkywinky]

^ako sis nahirapan mag let go, naghinayang ako kasi we are close friends since college but I need to motivate myself that she's no good for me. Buti na lang magkalayo na kami ngayon 

[iseenessie]

I have no problem cutting people out of my life. I used to have this bestfriend na girl. I loved her so much. Treated her like a sister and I looked out for her. But she back stabbed me. So she had to go. She tried to reconnect with me pero di ko na pinansin.

[pinkswirls12]

meron akong college friend na iniwasan. wala ng pali paliwanag basta isang araw nagising ako, ayoko na talaga siya makahalubilo. sobrang stress lang dinulot niya sa akin. mabait siya kung mabait pero kapag tinopak, sobra rin. nung okay pa friendship namin kapag tinopak siya, hindi niya sasabihin sa akin. ilang beses niya ginawa na while waiting for our class, nakaupo outside the room, pagdating niya babatihin niya lahat ng classmates namin na andun na at name ko lang ang hindi niya babanggitin. grabe! halos mapahiya ako sa classmates namin. kapag hindi rin namin sinunod gusto niya like maglunch sa ganitong kainan etc, sambakol ang face at nagdadabog. haaay grabe talaga! sa buong buhay ko, siya lang ang iniwasan kong friend. toxic siya kasama..

[KVsWahmmy]

Yes yes yes. Right? Right is subjective - depende yan sa sitwasyon at paniniwala mo.

Happened to me a number of times already. Ako kasi yung taong non-confrontational, so pag naiinis ako sa isang friend or meron syang ginawang di ko feel, I put distance between us, until the inis fades. Hindi din kasi ako plastik - if I have ill feelings towards somebody, hindi ako yung tipong kakayanin kong makipagngitian at chikahan pa, hindi talaga. If we're really friends, and this happens, pag lumipas naman and we find a way to each other ulit, that means we survived the test of time and circumstance - happened to me na din, more than once.

[sixteen16]

it's okay to avoid a "friend".. happened to me twice na.. lalo na kapag may mga bagay na ayaw mo ng palakihin ang gulo.. mas okay ng lumayo na lang kahit na alam mong wala kang kasalanan. test of friendship ba..

[la_chic]

definitely right to avoid "friends" who are negative people and those who do not know how to value your worth. there is just no point in befriending them when clearly he or she does not recognize your worth.

[molybdenumstudios]

Actually, I did my best to get rid of this guy whom I used to call my "best friend" until he showed his true colors. That way, I think KNOWING HIM was the reason why I failed to be on the Dean's List and at the same time missed the Graduation Ball (college). I thought he was a motivator, but it turned out that he was rather a hindrance to all my successes. I should have been VERY FRANK that sa hitsura pa lang niya, hindi ko na siya talaga type at the first place. It seemed that his presence rather made me want to get rid of him. Ang spoiled brat masyado, eh. I don't give a/n EFF anymore if he has a mental condition blah blah since he's been saying "I Love You" just because. As a matter of fact, I just LIKE him, but not to an extent that I really love him. I just heard from him... himself, that he has plans to court me.

But I should be grateful to him that his attitude was the reason why my ex-best buddy and I reconciled and reunited with one another again.

[Filipinasadhart]

For me it is right lalo na kung may nagawang kasalanan un friend mo sayo. Like un sa akin inutangan ako tapos di nagbayad ginawa ko lumayo na ko. Di ko na sila kinaibigan pa. Sabi ko sa sarili ko basura na sila. Nakakainis kase naging totoo kang kaibigan pero kung lokohin ka parang di kayo magkaibigan. Kung talagang magkaibigan kayo magbabayad ng utang sa tamang oras at pangako. Wag yun marami dahilan etc. Tapos makikita mo sa facebook panay tour yan ba yun walang pambayad hehe

[sassyrosel]

Of course you have the right to choose your friends, but since you have been good to each other before, and as you've said, you've treated her as your sister, maybe out of respect, you talk to her. Just to let her know the things that annoys you and decided to end her friendship and make sure to break it to her gently.

[KVsWahmmy]

Sa akin, kung may sama ka ng loob, or may alitan kayo, it is better to avoid a friend than be plastic and pretend everything's ok when at the back of your mind eh inis na inis ka na. Definitely better din mag-avoid than to talk behind their back di ba?

Hindi din ako confrontational na tao, so pag hindi ko nagustuhan ginawa ng isang kaibigan, cold treatment talaga yan. Wala akong ka-plastikan sa katawan so pag hindi ko talaga gusto, hindi ko talaga papansinin.

Kung yung tao naman is a true friend, kahit pa ganyan, pag lumamig na ang sitwasyon, you'd find your way back to each other. Ganyan kami nung friend ko sa work dati na nakatampuhan ko.

Personally, choosy talaga ako sa kaibigan. Hindi ako yung chummy-chummy type na everybody's a friend. Makikipagngitian ako sure. Hi, hello ganyan. Pero yung more kuwentuhan more fun kami? Hindi. It takes time before ako umabot ng ganung level with anyone.

[michipoo]

Ako iniiwasan ko yung mga highschool friends/classmates ko. Di kasi maganda experience ko sakanila when i was in highschool. And puro chismisan ang alam nakaka stress lang yung tipong nananahimik ka pero pinagchismisan ka pala. Kaya kahit inaadd nila ako sa fb at fnfollow sa twitter di ko sila inaaccept, ayoko ng nega sa buhay.