on wife who cheat...

[maristela]

madhel - tama sinabi mo. 'quality time' lang talaga nawala samin.
mas ok na kami ngayun.

Nagawa ko na rin ito, but hindi yung nag ka bf ako while hubby is away. (LDR kase kami )

Siguro, 'Emotional Affair' lang. --cheating pa rin ito right?

[miss resilient]

^well, whether its emotional or physical its still cheating. pakana lang ng tao ang emotional cheating term na yan...

anyway, he texted last week and he wants to see me again..i refused kasi mahirap na. pero deep within gustung gusto ko.

[smoothie]

re: cheating itself.

i condemn cheating pero siguro pag nandun na. ang masasabi ko lang never, ever make amin. ang mga lalaki din naman ganun ginagawa eh.

[dabidoo]

^lol! thats true..

[miss resilient]

^^oo nga...kasi kung anong nagagawa ng men nagagawa na rin ng women di ba? but this shouldnt justify these acts..

well...he broke up with his gf..this week lang. i suggested na bumalik na siya sa wife niya. sabi ko rin na kung gusto niya i'll talk to his wife. nagalit..sabi niya kung biro man yan di maganda. sabi niya he'll wait. sabi ko ayoko siyang maghintay at baka abutin siya ng habangbuhay.

habang tumatagal na rerealize ko na wala siyang kuwentang lalaki. hindi ang tipo niya ang gusto kong kasama for life. wala siyang ginawa kundi manakit ng feelings ng babae. when he broke up with his gf..he didnt take in consideration the fact na siya ang "nakauna" roon. he admitted it to me kaya alam ko. ang sabi niya mabuti na rin yun kasi di naman daw niya mapapakasalan yung girl..

[aquacharly]

Re:  on a wife who cheats....  emotionally, physically basta cheating...

      It is best to solve the basic issue or gap with one's husband first, before getting emotionally involved elsewhere.  Marriage is a commitment, blah blah blah ... I am not speaking from a position of morality... but from practicality.  Keep things orderly.  Try to fix what can be fixed.  If it can't be fixed, or you do not want to bother to fix it anymore (that is a choice too) -- well, then leave behind what no longer works.

   But for reasons known only to the cheating wife,  and as long as she is aware of +  has weighed the pros and cons, and is prepared to "face the music" when/should (if it happens) the "sh1t hits the fan"-- who are we to judge?   
It is a matter of choice for the person concerned.. to jump or not to jump, ika nga.  For whatever reasons only known to them.

    Eto lang masasabi ko ha... hwag pahuhuli kung ayaw mo pang pahuli.   

There is a time for everything.
There is a price for everything... 
Just try as much as you can to make things happen in the time of your choosing, and whatever it is, the "price is right" for you. 
That way, a cheating wife will have no regrets, will not feel shortchanged, will not want to kick herself for making the wrong moves.  Some things kasi, once broken, can never be put back.

So there, do what makes you happy -- but think it out well.  Do what is in your best interest.  Sometimes, that is not what brings you the most happiness though.


   

[marfillaster]

@resilient you have to assess first if choosing the other guy over your husband is worth it. Ask if you yourself have shortcomings to your husband or vice versa.


Women will always be more emotionally mature than men so it is you who must take the initiative to patch things up especially that you are married.

You do realize that what the other guy is doing to you now is exactly what your husband did when he was still courting you.

[p0g1ng]

mmm... ang masasabi ko lang... sa ating mga pinoy, pag ang babae ang na-aagrabyado, kadalasan na nangyayari ay murahan, sabunutan, sampalan, sabuyan ng asido.

pag ang lalaki naman ang na-aagrabyado, usually humahantong sa bloody confrontation. nandyan yung suntukan, saksakan, barilan... PATAYAN!... could you live with it?

some months ago lang, alam nyo naman siguro ang details sa kaso ni Chavit ano? ...esep-esep

[miss resilient]

thanks sa pov ng mga guys...at least nalaman ko ang side nila

pero ganun talaga, laging one sided ang lipunan, pag babae ang nagluko talagang grabe..may involved nang patayan..ano po?

[aquacharly]

MISS RESILIENT & POG1NG -- yes, Phil scenario -- we women have the short end of it all.  Recent proof:  the Chavit vs Che case.  The evidence came from the arse's mouth -- he was on national television admitting to stuff he later on recanted, typical arse hole di ba.  "She owes me for not having them killed.  I will withdraw financial support for the kids if she gets custody. etc etc ad nauseum"  Hay buhay. 

What is a woman saddled with a dis-connected/emotionally-absent/abusive/selfish/philandering husband to do?  Specially when you have kids you cannot support all by yourself in the lifestyle they have become accustomed to or that they need to survive decently --  what is a bored/suffering/abused wife to do? 

Let us not judge, but just dwell on real life.
What does a woman do?  1 way is to go into Tit-for-Tat Mode. 
Well, sabi ko nga -- hwag pahuhuli kung ayaw mo pa magpahuli.
And then he will scream:  napendejo ako!  As if  - LOL - that is good enough reason for people to stone a woman to death.  Or, to erase the fact that before sya napendejo eh he repeatedlly pendejo his wife/partner.  That is what it is after all -- philandering, pendejo, cheating -- same same naman di ba -- regardless of the sex of the perpetrator -- it betrays, it hurts, it has repercussions... oo nga, it also brings respite, a joyful break, a jolt to an abused's self esteem... 

Basta hwag pahuli kung ayaw pa pahuli.

[spicyangel]

^ agree... sa totoo lang mas magaling magtago at magdala ang babae kesa sa lalake... 

[aquacharly]

To continue the line of thought started by POG1NG & MISS RESIILIENT  -- what is a woman to do?

Reality bytes lang ha, let us not go into the morality of it all -- IMO, "for reasons known only to them" hence certain things are done, leave it at that.

Well there is that Bobbit woman who started a trend of :  Cut his head off!  Shades of Henry and his wives, reverse the positions lang. LOL
Parang, parang ha -- mas okay Cut his head off! kesa Pinendejo ako!  From the woman's viewpoint.
Cut his head off! will elicit chuckles (parang  " haha, pare! naisahan ka!)  Most likely, the woman will get off:  eh kasi judge, nandilim ang paningin ko, bumagsak IQ ko. . I did it in self-defense...
Parang better to Cut his head off! than shoot him -- parang claro na claro what pushes you to harm your mate -- tapos, ganon lang.. tawanan

Hindi ba parang mas "just"  the Bobbit/Cut his head off! ??
Pag pinendejo mo at nahuli ka eh like Che you will be threatened, your kids will be deprived, you will end up with hopia! at tingin pa sa yo ng hypocritical society eh  maharot ka ... did you watch The Scarlet Letter?

[aquacharly]

Basta nga, hwag pahuhuli kung ayaw pa pahuli.

What is a woman to do?
MUST we always have the short end of it as Miss Resilient and POG1ng correctly pointed out?

I am sure both these astute people will tell you there is always always always an EXCEPTION to the rule, to the general reality of it all.

Walang mods?  Baka makalusot my real cuento here.
Hindi ba we once upon a time had a President who had a mistress?
She did not give a heck people knew, she was so high profile ... and nobody dared call her kabit to her face.  Nobody dared be disrespectful to her, to her face.  LOL  Why?  Coz she had MONEY. 

Medyo nabato bato ako ng mga titas and my mom when in my youth, narinig ko sila remarking on this woman's kapalmuks tapos como forever nga tsismosa ako -- I shared my thoughts:  Este, what is she doing that your husbands are not doing?  She has money, she knows what she wants -- bakit hindi nyo masabi -- hayaan mo na, lalaki kasi eh. 
Dapat pala ang statement, kasi we have all progressed di ba LOL -- hayaan na, may pera naman sya eh. 

From that time on, na determine ko that what will keep a woman away from Scarlet Branding:  maharot, malandi, gold digger, linta, pokpok, cheap, etc etc etc -- vs the tolerable:  liberated, headstrong, wild, spoiled,  etc.. is HAVING ONE'S OWN MONEY. 
If I have my own money, and I need no man's money to support my lifestyle -- aha!  our society with all its morality and all -- will even pander to you.  Will look at you like just a woman spoiled and insistent on getting what makes her happy.... think of that mistress of the ex-Pres.    Was she a better wife/mother/person than Che?  Not necessarily.

But between the kangkungan and Urdaneta village + Dasma + Forbes -- is having one's own money, and needing no man's finances.

In Phil society, IMHO -- pera pera lang yan.

Basta, hwag pahuli kung ayaw pa pahuli.

[aquacharly]

I correct my previous post's  last statement to:

   Hwag pahuli kung ayaw pahuli.

Kasi hindi naman kelangan ever pahuli.
As SPICYANGEL said:  mas mahirap makahuli nang woman na ayaw pa huli. 
Nope, LOL, I am not gonna do a survey on that to prove it. 

Let us just each take care of ourselves each day. 
God bless all.
 

[ayrise]

heheh nagenjoy ako sa post mo sis aquacharly ... isnt it fascinating?  lol!  i totally agree with what you said ..

well, i will pray for the day that we, Women can Fc*k around like Men ... you know, to have an affair without any emotional attachments .. and not be looked upon when we have our own "escapades" .... just for the Fun of it .. para iba naman .. for Sex or para may spice ang life...  oh hell yeah .. as if it would ever happen .. but .. i may be wrong ;-)

IMO, These Women who has power and Money can be spared from the "Scarlet Letter stigma" since they seem to be at par with Men .. kasi nga naman we have this notion that if you are a Kabit then you are dependent on the Guy .. at nakikihati ka lang .. siyempre the sympathy is always with the First Family ..

[silke]

sobra kasi talaga pagka double standards ng society natin. when a man cheats and he reasoned out na he's being neglected kasi kaya sya nagturn to another woman, tatanggapin kaagad rason nya. pero pag woman ang naneglect at nagturn to another man, asahan mo na aani ng panlalait at pangungutya. unfair!

[marfillaster]

@silke i think our society is ridding itself already of double standards since the likes of chavit are dying off due to old age. younger people tend to be more accepting now a days.

[p0g1ng]

^^double standard? matagal na sis ah. ever since the world begun pa ata ... i-base na lang natin sa oldest reference, the Bible. (need i cite some names/examples? )

kelan nga lang ba nagkaroon ng organized women rights groups ang kababaihan? nung 60s? 70s?... where?... sa US?

dito sa Pinas meron rin tayong Gabriela... pero hanggang saan lang sila?... para magbatikos ng government?

ba't di nila binabatikos ang Muslim practice?... ano, takot sila?

lately lang, sa Malaysia, nahuli lang uminom ng beer, pinaghahataw na ng yantok.
sa Sudan, nagsuot lang ng pantalon ang isang female reporter...
sa Afghanistan, sa gitna pa ng stadium in-execute...

saan pumunta ang mga Women's Rights groups? ano reaction nila? what statement nilabas nila?... wala! wala! wala!... ano, sila mismo accept nila ang pagiging "double standard" ng buong mundo? at tumatalak lang sila sa harap ng media para mapansin?

buti nga ang mg gurls ngayon may mga rights' groups na, ang mga boylets wala talaga.

spicyangel - yup, i agree sis, magaling talaga magtago ng sikreto ang mga gurls. at credible pa sila magsinunggaling. but hey! sa panahon ngayong nasa digital/information age na tayo, napakadaling manghuli ng kalaban. konting tyaga lang ng maniniktik, may audio/visual evidence pa. ...kaya, engatz-engatz

[miss resilient]

siguro it hurts lang talaga sa mga boys kung naiisahan sila ng mga gurls sa ganitong bagay...

anyway..we seldom communicate na.

[spicyangel]

sa experience ko kase, sobrang confident ang asawa ko na mahal na mahal ko sha at di ko sha kayang lokohin or iwan. noon kase halos magpakamatay pa ko sa kanya nung nambabae sha... after 5 years tsaka ako nagkaron ng affair.. kaya hinde nya ko mahule kase wala shang idea na may mahal akong iba, dahil buo tiwala nya sakin... dahil sabi nya... kung gagawin ko daw yun na manlalake ako iiwan na nya ko at di sha para maghabol sa akin.. dahil ginusto ko daw yun... so kahit di ako gaanong careful like, kahit nasa harap ko sha nag cha chat kami ng bf ko.. di pa rin nya ko nahuhuli. wala shang pakialam in short!