Parent with one child only

[rnd0910]

Hi mga sisses, ask ko lang sa mga parents na isa lang anak nila; intention nyo ba talaga na isa lang ang anak nyo and what are the reasons why isa lang.

Ako kasi i have a 2 y/o son. Pero ayoko na sana syang sundan. One reason is economic. Mas ok kasi sa akin na isa lang sya pero mabibigyan naman namin sya ng comfortable life. Kesa naman dagdagan pa namin pero mahihirapan naman sila pareho ng magiging kapatid nya.


Syempre yong mga matatanda sa amin ang daming comments, kesyo hindi daw maganda yong isa lang kasi malulungkot daw. Ang sagot ko dito marami naman syang pinsan na makakalaro, kasi we live in one compound lang naman.

Baka daw lumaking spoiled brat. Sabi ko naman nasa pagpapalaki naman po yon ng magulang.

Yong hubby ko ok sa kanya either way, kahit isa lang sya or dagdagan pa namin ng isa. Ako ayoko na talaga.

Sa mga mommies dito na isa lang anak or isa palang anak gusto nyo pa bang dagdagan yong baby nyo or ok na kayo sa isa?

Minsan naiisip gusto ko rin sana ng baby girl pero pag iniisip ko lang yong hirap mag-alaga at yong gastos parang napapa-urong ako bigla.

[hailey06]

Isa pa rin lang yung baby ko (a girl who's turning 2 in a month).  Although magastos talaga, my husband and I want at least another child.  We think lang na mas magiging masigla yung bahay if at least 2 silang tumatakbo-takbo at nagkukulitan.  We both grew up with siblings kase and masaya talaga yung may kalaro ka sa bahay and someone who's got your back always.
Hindi naman siguro kami maghihirap if we have another child. Sure, mababawasan ang luho, but different kind of happiness naman ang makukuha mo at home.  And even if maging 2 man ang baby ko, we'll still try to give them the best. The best naman doesn't always mean the most expensive di ba?
I'm a SAHM so minsan parang iniisip ko, gusto ko pa ba talaga ulitin lahat yung hirap ko sa pagpapalaki ng baby ko? But then maiisip ko how it is to wait for the baby to come out after 9 months of carrying him/her inside you and the excitement of seeing him/her turn into one small different person that's half you and your partner. It's just so amazing. And kung rich lang siguro kami, baka next year we'll try to get pregnant na ulit. 
This is just my opinion, though.  If you and your husband feels having just one child is the best for you, who cares what others say.

[mctina_20]

i totally agree to the above post.

iba ang pinsan, iba ang kapatid. darating ang araw kakailanganin ng anak mo ang tulong or suporta ng isang kapatid, cousins cannot fill for that.

when the time comes that u and your husband are old, it is a lot better that another child will take care of you. mas madali para sa inyo at dun sa panganay nyo.

sure, raising another child is hard not only financially. but ultimately rewarding at the end.

as me posting my opinion on this thread made me think my childhood will never be as wonderful as it was if not for my brother.

[mctc_25]

isa lang ang anak ko
same with you sis, minsan naiisip ko wag na lang sundan, kasi nga mahirap nag buhay, so instead na magkakaron sya ng kahati solo naming maibibigay ang lahat sa kanya at saka isa pa yung hirap din ng pagkuha ng taga pag alaga, kasi parehas kaming nagtratrabaho ng hubby ko
but minsan naiisip ko din, paano kapag wala na kami ng hubby ko, gusto ko naman pagdating ng time na yun may makakaramay naman sya sa buhay, kasi syempre iba pa din ang kapatid, kahit pa siguro by the time na mawala kami eh may sarili ng pamilya ang anak namin, feeling ko iba pa din yung may kapatid sya na makakaramay nya sa buhay
so kung sakali na suswertehin kami at masundan pa sya, magiging happy kami ni hubby, although mahirap financially saka adjustment na naman yun in terms sa pag aalaga but pipilitin naming kayanin 

[sweet angel]

isa pa lang din yung anak namin pero balak namin sundan, di pa lang ngayon kasi financially di pa ready... minsan naiisip ko din wag na lang sundan kasi magastos saka hirap mag-alaga pero siguro kakayanin naman namin yun... pagiisipan pa maige

[huckleberry]

kami naman ng husband ko, when we had our eldest we planned not to have another child anymore not because of financial reasons (although sapat lang din ang kinikita namin that time for our family) but because we were traumatized.  nag-stay kasi sya ng one month sa hospital before we could bring him home because of some health issues.  but by the time he turned 3y/o he asked for a baby sister.  siguro nakikita nya sa mga pinsan and kalaro nya na meron silang kapatid.  at first hindi kami nag-give in kasi may unresolved issues pa sya but as time went on nakita namin na nalulungkot sya.  so my husband and i talked things out and decided to have another baby.  luckily girl yun kasunod, baby sister din kasi gusto ng eldest namin. 
siguro dapat i-plan nyo lang mabuti yun spacing ng mga anak nyo.  gaya sa amin, 6 years ang age gap nila kaya hindi na gaanong mahirap para sa amin.  tama ang mga sis natin, iba ang kapatid sa pinsan at kaibigan.

[grumpybear]

I have one son and another one along the way.
Our decision to have another one was not based on anybody's input but me and my husband's alone.
I believe that whatever decision you make, dapat kayo lang ang involved.
It is not unheard of to be/have an only child. I believe that it is a very personal choice. Syempre there will be disadvantages but there will be advantages as well. Walang tama o mali dito. Kayo lang ng husband mo ang makakapagsabi kung tama ito para sa pamilya ninyo.

[rnd0910]

thanks sa mga opinions nyo mga sisses, minsan napapa-isip rin ako kung gusto ko pa ba talaga ng isa pang baby. Gusto ko rin talaga sana ng baby girl. Pagnagshoshopping ako para sa baby ko i cant help  but to look at some cute little dresses rin. Ang sarap kasi ng baby girl diba, para kang may bagong doll na bibihisan mo at aalagaan.

Pero isa pang factor na nakakapagpigil sa akin is yong age ko, Im already 35 and my son is only 2 years old. If we will plan to have another baby when he is 4 or 5 na eh di ang tanda ko na non di ba. If we will decide to have another child dapat ngayon na di ba para di rin ako hirap sa pagbubuntis at panganganak. High risk pregnancy na kasi ang ganitong age. Although nong nagbuntis ako sa first child ko hindi naman ako hirap.

[$ale... seeker!]

hubby - 1 more
me - 1-2 more

[marose17]

I'm an only child and I never felt deprived of companionship when I was a child because my cousins lived with us and we were like brothers and sisters.  Ngayon, nasa US na lahat ng first cousins ko and naisip ko it would have been great if I had a sibling, especially since sa lahat ng family emergencies namin, kami lang talaga ng mommy ko or me and my husband ang nag-asikaso.  Mas okay siguro if may kapatid ako.

I have two sons, buti na lang my husband and I were blessed with twins.  That's it na for us since I had a very difficult pregnancy and traumatic childbirth.  Sometimes, I think about having a baby girl though.

I'm 36 years old, by the way, and I have friends na ka-age ko or older who are pregnant, recently gave birth or are thinking of having another child.  Age is not a hindrance to having more children as long as you do not have any serious health conditions.

[marssie]

I have one son and another one along the way.

Hi sis grumpy,congrats.. preggy ka pala.. 

Ako din i have one son, syempre gusto ko pa rin magkababy (pag mga 4 years old na si baby ) kahit sobra ang hirap na dinanas ko sa panganganak.. di naman mapapalitan yung happiness ng mahalikan at mayakap mo ang anak mo.  Nung una kasi yun lang reason ko ayaw ko na mabuntis dahil sa sakit at hirap, pero habang nakikita ko ang baby ko na lumalaki, nakakatuwa, sarap ng pakiramdam..

[yetzkie]

ako iha ve a 22 months toddler boy wala pa kami plan ni hubby na sundan sinca sa US ako mahirap dito kasi ala yaya n maid ikaw talaga lahat.. kaya tama na muna 1 sa amin bago na sundan pag nag school n sya.. para tutok din sa pag aalaga...

[honey_iya]

Isa palang din anak namin, turning 6yo na sya sa december. Personally, ayoko na. hubby naman, kung ilan daw gusto ko yun na din gusto niya. Ang reason ko kasi:

1. hindi kami financially stable
2. mahal ng house rent namin
3. gusto ko pagaralin daughter ko sa private school (di ko kasi naranasan)
4. mabibigyan namin sya ng magandang buhay kung sya lang (ako kasi andaming bagay na di ko nakuha nung bata pa kasi 7 kami, di din kami masyado naaalagaan sa dami)
5. although sabi nila mahirap daw talaga kapag mag isa lang, katwiran ko naman hindi guarantee na kapag may kapatid eh may kakampi, kami kahit pito di magkakasundo.
6. di ako takot na maging spoiled anak ko kasi depende naman yun sa pagpapalaki, so far di naman ganun daughter ko.
7. last eh, sa dami ng nababalitaan ko lately na namamatay dahil sa panganganak, ayun lalo ako nagdadalawang-isip na magbuntis ulit.

share ko lang, yung bestfriend ko only child siya so ayaw niya na isa lang din anak nila, after mag 1yo daughter nya nagbuntis agad sya. although sobrang madali lang yung pagbubuntis nya dun sa 1st nya, sobrang opposite naman sa 2nd, almost bed rest sya sa loob ng 9 months. ngayon stop na daw muna sila kasi sobrang nahirapan sya sa 2nd. di din kasi porke't madali magbuntis sa una (like me din) eh sa pangalawa ganun din, kaya yun pa ang isang kinakatakot ko.

ako deadma lang sa mga nag co-comment na sundan na anak namin, lalo na OB ko naku sobrang kulit. katwiran ko di naman sila ang bubuhay at magaalaga sa magiging anak ko

[rnd0910]

sobrang agree ako sa iyo sis honey_iya. 

Ok kami financially ng hubby ko sa ngayon, pero ang problema namin pareho kaming breadwinner ng kanya-kanya naming pamilya. Ok lang naman for both of us yon. Pero kung magdadagdagan ang baby namin syempre madadagdagan din ang gastos namin. Ibig sabihin mababawasan naman ang tulong na nabibigay namin sa pamilya namin. Kasi di naman madadagdagan income pag nadagdagan anak hehe. 

I also have an officemate here na only child sya, he doesnt seems to be a spoiled brat naman. Nakatapos nga sya ng pag-aaral nya eh. Tapos I asked him kung pano yong childhood nya, sabi nya marami din naman daw syang kalarong mga pinsan and kapit-bahay... So I think nasa pagpapalaki rin naman yon di ba.

Nakikita ko kasi sa brother ko 4 anak nya, every 2 years ang gap, ngayon lahat school age na, kahit may regular income yong brother ko, hirap pa rin yong SAHM na SIL ko sa budget. Sa baon pa lang everyday sumasakit na ulo nya. Eto talaga ang ayaw kong maranasan someday.

at like what honey_iya said, gusto ko rin private school mag-aral anak ko. Yong brother ko he cant afford to send all four kids sa private school.

[honey_iya]

^yung bestfriend ko din na only child ok naman ugali nya, mas maldita pa nga ako keysa sa kanya

nakikita ko din sa sister ko na 4 anak nya, pinsan ko na kasabayan ko din magbuntis 3 na anak. oh well, may advantages & disadvantages talaga.

kami naman ni hubby hindi parehong breadwinner, ok yung family niya when it comes sa financial aspect. plus wala kasi kaming yaya at ayaw namin kumuha. yung panganay namin IL's ko nagalaga dun, eh ngayon nagparinig na di na daw nila kakayanin mag alaga if ever sundan kasi matatanda na sila. so isang dahilan pa yung magaalaga kaya di masundan-sundan

[debzDM]

I would love to have another baby, girl sana para may kalaro ako...pero ok din boy para tipid sa gamit....

But I cannot decide yet for health reasons...mine. Had a mild stroke kasi when my son was just a year old. So ayun sabi ng doctor ko wag na lang kasi baka major stroke na abutin ko. Iniisip ko na lang na kapag ibinigay Niya, eh di ok. Pero pag wala, eh di ok lang din. Atleast may isa na....

[picPAUboom]

ako rin mga sis. my son is turning 2 na this Oct pero [textspeak!] pa [textspeak!] kasunod. gusto ko narin sna kaso mahirap, na-assign outside the country c hubby for a project, ayaw nya na [textspeak!] [textspeak!] sa tabi ko pag naglihi ako kc bka kung sino mapagbuntunan ko ng moods ko tapos ndi ako matantya.. hehe! 

but seriously, ang weird kc after ko nanganak kay Pau ska ako nagka PCO (Polcystic Ovaries) and sabi ng doctor mahihrapan ulit me mag conceive khit bata pa me so kailangan pa ng workup. super hurt ako, just the thought na possibleng ndi na me magka baby girl crushed me. pero i'm not losing hope. God has always been good to me, to us, kaya I know na in time, bibigyan nya rin me ng another baby!! 

[rics]

I have an almost 3yr old son, ayaw na ni hubby sundan. For me, I would so love to have another child. What is holding me back is my age, plus the financial factor. Minsan, naiisip ko na bahala na lang, pero natatakot ako sa reality. My running joke na nga ako when asked kung kelan ko susundan, my reply: "Pag nanalo ako ng lotto at kaya pa ng matris ko".

We live abroad, I have been a SAHM since the birth of our kid (by which I do not ever regret). But, mahirap kasi walang mag-aalaga sa bata (if and when I plan to go back to the workforce), and that has always been our problem, we could not entrust our kid with just anybody. If we put him in daycare naman, its going to cost us much, its is very expensive. We had a very hard time when our kid was born.

Hubby knew of someone who is also abroad, hindi na rin masundan ang anak bec. of this scenario. Otherwise, the wife would just be a SAHM for the duration that the kid is not in full time school yet (but still has to pay for before and after school care). Pero, big question is, "Can you/we/they afford it?"
Pwede siguro, pero maraming kailangang i-sacrifice. Like, working longer hours, or salitan sa work sked ang mag asawa. But then the quality of family life deteriorates with this scenario. Lucky those families abroad who has a relative/s with them to care for the kids.

Hubby said that we want to give our kid the best education possible (sino naman ang hindi, di ba?), but at the same time save money to buy a house, and save money for our retirement.

If another baby comes for us, syempre we will be elated, baby is always a blessing.

[trinity94]

i also have only one child, a five year old son...

it wasnt by choice that we only have one kid...i often say, my son came in God's time... i only got pressy kasi after 5 yrs of being married, and this 'phenomena' seems to run in both my and and hubby's family...

we do want to have another child, pero i am also thinking twice because of the age factor... bata pa naman ako at 36, pero medyo takot na rin ako... solution: we are planning on adopting a baby girl... when it comes to expenses, we arent really frightened about it... yun ngang pagpapalaki namin sa iisang anak, magastos na, pero by God's grace laging nakakapagprovide kami... i believe having another child will not be an added load... rather, it will be an inspiration to do better...

i believe every single child grows up to be spoiled... sabi ko nga, our son is the reason why we are motivated to work and do well... syempre, we want to set an example to our child for him to understand that we are living a comfortable life because we work for it... everyday, we remind our son that he gets to enjoy certain perks because we do our best at things we do... and i make it clear to him that when he grows up, he should also do his best for him to give his future family...

raising a 'spoiled' child doesnt necessarily mean having a spoiled brat in the family... nasa pagpapalaki yan... even if i over-indulge him in some ways, as long as he i make him realize how and why he gets to enjoy things, i dont think he will be a brat... sa material lang naman sya spoiled eh, pero sa ugali, esp his attitude towards others, always in check yan...

[kookie420]

husband and i are expecting our first born and we're not thinking of having another kid after 3-5 years.  we both want to have at least 2-3 kids. maybe because we both came from small families. but i just realized it would be really fun if there's like 4-6 kids.