being eldest!

[health.gal]

let me just share:

i'm the eldest among three. my elder cousins are all based abroad and they seldom come home, so technically, i'm the eldest among my cousins. i was raised being a responsible person who follows norms. what i mean by being responsible includes organizing reunions, taking care of everyone during parties (preparing food, entertaining guests, etc), i never had a failing grade, i finished schooling (even up to grad school), i have a job, etc. etc. etc. and because of "following" my elders (parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents), i receive praises from them. aside from this, they always make me as a good example to my younger siblings and cousins. the downside: some of my cousins opened up and told me how they hated me so much for being everyone's favorite. bakit daw lagi na lang ako... ako ang inaassign na mag coordinate ng get-togethers, ako ang napupuri, ako ang laging magaling, at hindi sila nakikita. when i knew about this, initially, i was hurt. alam ba nila na pag may parties, hindi ako makapagenjoy ng sa sarili ko kasi i have to "take care" of everyone? alam ba nila na i'm always pressured to bring home the bacon while their only requirement is just to pass their grades? alam ba nila that during my teenage years and i wanted to party until early morning i couldn't do so because it simply is not the "right thing" to do? but after contemplating on things, i am still lucky after all. at least, i was brought up as a responsible person (naks, purihin daw ba ang sarili). but for parents out there, a friendly advise lang po coming from an "eldest" daughter - weigh things seriously, wag ipakita na may favorites, wag din masyadong tatambakan ng super daming responsibilities ang eldest, rather disseminate the responsibilities among all of your children, and praise one as you would praise the others.

[ybev]

Haiz, eldest din ako at ang hirap talga..parang bawal magkamali..lalo na ako ang eldest sa lahat ng apo both sides..ang daming bawl gawin kasi I must be a good example to my siblings and cousins...ni gimmick kasi baka ako gayahin..haiz..inggit nga ako sa mga sumunod sa akin eh kasi they can do what they want...tapos over protective pa parents ko,,,ang lungkot ng buhay...I am now 30 walang work though I finished 2 courses....super dependent sa parents ko...hndi naman kami sa nghihirap but I can feel the guilt na wala man Lang ako maiabot na kahit [textspeak!]..then ngayon I'm pregnant...ang gulp ng utak ko..don't know where to start, feeling ko I'm to late to realize and maghanap ng work...

[blooming]

^^ sis, first of all, congrats sa magiging baby mo!  But for me, nothing is too late. you are already 30yo, hindi naman sobrang masama magkababy.  focus your attention nalang sa health mo now, at sa magiging baby mo. You can always think of a business, think of a second career in life, go back to school again after giving birth, etc. 

let me just share:

i'm the eldest among three. my elder cousins are all based abroad and they seldom come home, so technically, i'm the eldest among my cousins. i was raised being a responsible person who follows norms. what i mean by being responsible includes organizing reunions, taking care of everyone during parties (preparing food, entertaining guests, etc), i never had a failing grade, i finished schooling (even up to grad school), i have a job, etc. etc. etc. and because of "following" my elders (parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents), i receive praises from them. aside from this, they always make me as a good example to my younger siblings and cousins. the downside: some of my cousins opened up and told me how they hated me so much for being everyone's favorite. bakit daw lagi na lang ako... ako ang inaassign na mag coordinate ng get-togethers, ako ang napupuri, ako ang laging magaling, at hindi sila nakikita. when i knew about this, initially, i was hurt. alam ba nila na pag may parties, hindi ako makapagenjoy ng sa sarili ko kasi i have to "take care" of everyone? alam ba nila na i'm always pressured to bring home the bacon while their only requirement is just to pass their grades? alam ba nila that during my teenage years and i wanted to party until early morning i couldn't do so because it simply is not the "right thing" to do? but after contemplating on things, i am still lucky after all. at least, i was brought up as a responsible person (naks, purihin daw ba ang sarili). but for parents out there, a friendly advise lang po coming from an "eldest" daughter - weigh things seriously, wag ipakita na may favorites, wag din masyadong tatambakan ng super daming responsibilities ang eldest, rather disseminate the responsibilities among all of your children, and praise one as you would praise the others.

Sis, would it help to disseminate the responsibilities to your cousins din from time to time?  Like organizing parties.  Kasi sabi nila ikaw nalang lagi.  So puede mo ivolunteer sa tita mo or mom mo na ina-assign ka, na sabihin mo, alam mo gusto din tumulong ni ganito/ganyan. Give others a chance to shine as well.  Tingin ko win-win din sya kasi you get some rest din and enjoy the parties, at the same time, mabaling din naman ang attention ng iba sa iba mong siblings at cousins na hindi lang naman din laging ikaw.

[ybev]

tnx sis blooming for giving me hope....

[health.gal]

^^thanks sis blooming for the advise. i tried it before, but it just didn't turn out fine. i suggested na yung isang cousin ko ang magorganize nung isang party namin, but medyo marami siyang naging excuses like walang load, walang time. it only frustrated the "elders" thinking na housewife yung pinsan ko na yun, mas malaki ang family income nila than me, and if she really wanted to do the stuff, madali niya mamamanage time niya. ang ending, sa akin din pinagawa. and what really hurt me eh kinausap pa niya ako and and accused me na nagsumbong daw ako regarding sa pag-open up nila (which i didn't do). weird lang, kasi we're all adults to even worry about "pagsusumbong". anyway, as of now, i have accepted na mukhang hindi na maaayos pa yung issue na ito. i just want to start a new generation na (hopefully) walang ganitong issues. after all, may ilan pa naman akong cousins na hindi masyado nagka-issue. lesson learned the hard way.

[phurple0515]

being the eldest is a lot of responsibilities esp. for me kasi I am supporting my parents who are both old na.  Just disappointed that my sister seems to be taking for granted na kasama niya parents ko at di niya iniisip na nag-aalala sila sa kanya kaya siya ganon na pinapagalitan (the fact na overseas pa ako sa akin pa nagsasabi mga parents ko pag ganyan kapatid ko).  sakit sa ulo lang.  ayoko rin naman kasi na i-compare nila siya sa akin kasi feeling ko mas magrerebelde yon. hay.  ang hirap, nakakapagod lang minsan na.

[shellenic]

Ahhh,,, I'm eldest too. So kamusta naman yon

Kuryente/tubig/pagkain/pangsnacks/gas tank/1 credit card bill ng mom ko + sarili kong bills

Tapos pag nadelay ipapamukha sayo kung gaano ka kawalang silbing anak. Mas masahol pa daw ako sa brother ko na walang ginawa kundi mambuntis ng iba tapos maglayas at magbenta ng lahat ng mga gamit namin.

  Pera nga naman.

[blackgreen]

Ngayun ang dilemma ko as eldest, ang laki laki ng balance ng kapatid ko sa credit card. Supplementary ko siya. Usapan namin pag mag ikinasal ako dapat bayad na niya lahat. Kamusta naman, 1 month to go na lang ng kasal ko wala pa siya pambayad sa card ko. Sira na naman credit standing ko dahil sa kaniya.