From 2007 to last year, I was in a relationship. This wasn't my first long-ish relationship, I've never had one that lasted less than 2 years. I really wanted to make that relationship last, hoping that it will lead to marriage. I guess I can say that it was those times that I made a lot of adjustments, with myself, with how I was handling the relationship. We had a lot of problems from the start, but I just tried and tried and tried, forcing it to work. Until one day, he just decided to quit. I think at the back of my mind, I knew then that it wouldn't work. We were too different. We had different plans. We had different expectations from our relationship. We had a different perspective on how love should be.
When I was praying when we were in a really rough patch and I felt we were on the verge of breaking up, I prayed that if this guy isn't the one for me, please give either of us the strength to let go. Sometimes you just hold on for the sake of, well, holding on. Or because it's too painful to let go of something you're so used to. So that's what I prayed for, and less than a week later, he was the one who broke it off.
Of course it was painful as heck. It hurt like hell. I felt like the pain was becoming physically painful(which of course, wasn't really). I grieved for a month. I prayed a lot. I didn't pray for another partner. I just prayed for Him to help me get through this, because I knew I will. I didn't have a doubt that I will. Before, I thought it was so cliche when they say - surrender everything to Him, but when you're in a rut, you just really have to surrender everything. I just prayed and prayed and prayed, all I was asking for was healing.
Then just one day, He gave P to me.
P has been a friend for more than a year that time. We weren't too close, but close enough to be called friends. There wasn't even an inkling of romantic element in us before. Nada. You see, one of my rules before was that the guy should be older than me. Age is non-negotiable. I can not be with someone younger. Guess what? P is 2 years younger.
We started dating, and after a few months, we officially became a couple. I've never been happier. I always tell him that he's the best boyfriend in the whole world. My family and friends tell me that maybe I had to experience the past relationship, for me to appreciate more the next person who I will be blessed with. And I believe it 100%. I matured a lot from my past relationship, which allowed me to apply all my learnings to my current relationship. Everything's so good now. I really couldn't ask for a better partner.
I didn't ask for another partner, I just prayed that I be ready for whatever He will give to me. If it's singlehood, ok. I guess it's not.
We may set all the rules, the requirements, all we want, but be rest assured that in the end, we will be blessed with what He thinks we need, all in His time.
