I Hate my Mom!!!

[mooncake and leaves]

i think, my mom, if she was still alive, i'd probably fight with her a lot too. harhar. favorite kasi nun yung ate ko.

but because she's not, i have to agree- our parents will always disappoint and frustrate us. but they're still our parents and not to be overly dramatic about it, i'd rather have a frustrating mother than not have a mother at all. saka you know what, i've always considered myself my dad's favorite because he pays more attention to me. but he is in fact, more proud of my sister. he's more critical of her, yes, but she's the one he talks about a lot. maybe it's the same way with you. maybe she pays more attention to your sister but deep inside, maybe you really are her favorite. hehe.

attend her birthday. not out of respect lang but as you said, you love her. so what if she doesn't treat you the way you feel you should be treated. she's your mom. just love her. sarap sarap magmahal eh. harhar. uy seryoso ako ha. sarap kayang yumakap ng mommy.

[prettygurl00001]

Randallpup here. Some of you can still stay positive things about my issue coz you don't really understand where I'm coming from. When I was younger it was more of tampo lang naman or hinanakit eh, coz may favoritism nga ang mom ko and hindi equal ang treatment. And becoz of that, I promised myself that someday when I have a family of my own, I will treat my children equally, hindi ko gagayahin ang mom ko. But now that I'm sick, and ang root cause ng illness na ito is becoz mom did not seek medical treatment for me when I was young. I've been ill since I was young and my mom and my dad did not do anything at all! Pinabayaan lang nila even if there were already early signs of my illness. And now that I'm an adult, mas malala na ang sakit ko... mas matagal na gamutan. It might even get in the way of me and hubby having a child coz paano pa ako magbubuntis if I'm very sick, with a lot of medications na tine-take? So tell me, how would you feel if yung future nyo with your hubby that you've been hoping for eh masisira na lang ng ganito? I might not even be surprised if one day magising na lang ako na napagod na si hubby sa pag-alaga sa akin. Since we got married all he had to do was maging taga-alaga ko eh.   

[kwinchesters]

I hate my mom kasi..
1. Pag mainit ulo niya, sinisigawan at namumura niya ng ng punye** at P.I ang 5 year old na anak kong babae. Lalo na pag hindi ko siya naabutan ng pera pangsugal niya. (Lotto is considered as sugal diba?)

2. Pag nagbibigay naman ako sa kanya ng pera every payday ni hubby (take note:wala akong job so ke hubby ko pa din kinukuha pera), lagi pa sin siya nagrereklamo sa tatay ko na wala siyang pera kaya ang tatay ko tatawag sa bahay lang para ipaalala na bigyan ko daw pang lotto nanay ko.

3. Lagi niyang isinusumbat sa akin na siya daw ang nag-alaga sa anak ko. Pero ang totoong kwento mga sis, nung nasunog ang bahay ng mga parents ko, kinuha ko mama ko para dito tumira sa amin kahit ang byenan ko ang nagpundar ng bahay namin ng hubby ko, kahit ilang beses ako sinesermunan ng byenan ko na kelan daw bubukod ng bahay ang nanay ko.

4. Pinagtatakpan ko ang mga parents ko sa in laws ko dahil hindi nila alam na simula pa ng highschool ako, walang trabaho parents ko. at ang sumusustento lang sa min lahat pagkain kahit pang meralco ay ang kapatid ng tatay ko na nasa saudi.

5. Tiniiis ko ang pang-iinsulto ng mother in law ko sa akin, pinalalaki ko lang daw katawan ko at umaasa sa sahod ng asawa ko. Bakit daw hindi ako magtrabaho eh kung dito naman sa bahay nakikitira nanay ko eh di siya ang mag-alaga ng anak ko. Hindi ko lang maipagtapat sa mother in law ko ang totoo na ayokong iwan ang anak ko sa nanay ko kasi baka lumaking palamura at walang modo ang anak ko, babae pa man din.

6. Sa ibang tao, malambing at palakaibigan ang nanay ko. Pero pagdating sa sariling pamilya, lagi siyang nakasigaw, nakamura, nakasimangot.
Yung ibang tao, siya ang takbuhan pag may problema pero AKO, na sarili niyang anak, pag may problema sa in laws o gipit sa pera, hindi niya man lang ako matulungang maghanap ng mautangan.

7. Dati, di ko makalimutan na dahil lang din sa pera, sinabihan niya ako ng isang malutong na "Sana namatay ka na lang noon!" Sobrang sakit...

8. Nung buntis pa lang ako at di pa siya nakapisan sa bahay, kinatok niya ako at humingi ng pera pambili ng gasul, sabi ko wala pang sweldo eh, pangkain na lang itong natitira. Sinigawan niya ako na 'eh pambihira, saan ako kukuha ng pambili ng gas? wala akong pera!!!' Para walang gulo, nag abot ako ng pera, nung umalis siya, umiyak ako maghapon sa sama ng loob.

--- Sabihin niyo sa akin kung wala akong karapatang magalit sa nanay ko. Kung sa inyo nangyari ito, anong mabuti nyong gawin. Hindi ko siya mapalis dito sa bahay, paano ko sabihin sa kanya na it's time na bumukod na siya kasama tatay at kapatid ko at dumiskarte naman sila kahit paano, tutal malakas at bata pa sila pareho at walang sakit, 52 y/o pa lang sila.

[ganda ko]

^So sorry to hear about your story sis. I know how it feels. Sa akin naman
dad ko yung sobra ang ugali.

[tut_chang]

i cannot say that i have favorite among my kids. but sometimes i hear my 2nd child say this line "si ____ ang favorite etc etc". of course, i wont admit that. for me, they are all treated equal.
i just realized after reading all your posts that as a mother, i should be more careful on how to treat my kids.

btw, if i may ask, what kind of illness do you have? i am just curious to know because as you said, it could have been prevented only if your mom did not neglect the symptoms when you were still a kid.

god bless and there is still hope to have a happy life that you deserve.

[hazelbrown_eyes27]

ako rin.. nabubuwiset sa nanay ko.

1. Its as if hurting me physically is something right! My Dad doesnt hurt us. She does! Esp me! One time, just recently, lumaban na talaga ako! Hinawakan ko 2 kamay niya to prevent her from slapping me again. I have been slapped so many times since I was a kid. And IAM HATING HER FOR IT!di lang hawak actually... I was mad.. actually FURIOUS! nanginginig ako sa galit.
When I asked bakit niya ako sinasaktan sabi ba naman " dapat kang saktan" which got me thinking... nasisiraan na ba siya ng bait" kaya ayun lumaki ako na may galit sa kanya. Mas mahal ko pa nga nanay ng x bf ko eh!

2. Kahit daw MALI sya, hayaan ko na daw siya. Ako kasi pag MALI MALI talaga! Walang NANAY pa. MALI na nga siya... feeling niya dapat siyang PAGBIGYAN!

3. LALASUNIN daw niya ASO ko kung may nakita pa siyang pupu ng aso ko ( nililinis ko naman dumi ng aso ko) pero syempre di naman 24 oras ako nakabantay sa pag pupu ng aso no!She is being so IMPOSSIBLE!nag " RETREAT" nga eh pero mukhang walang epek!

actually nung na diagnose siyang may cancer.. I didnt feel anything for her. Ok lang! NR!

[girl24]

hi threadstarter! i hope you are feeling better... like most of our sisters here i would also like to ask (if you don't mind) kung ano yung sickness mo? and also couldn't your father had taken you to the doctor too noon? i am not arguing about the level of what you have been through ha... honestly ako kahit i didn't grow up with my mom during my formative years, alam ko mahal ako at mabait ang nanay ko. although i know and feels she prefers my sibling, i even tell her that. siguro hindi maiaalis na meron favoritism. pero mukhang ang root ng galit mo is yung illness mo. so i'd like to go back to my question (kung okey lang), ano yung sickness na yun?

[prettygurl00001]

I have seizure/epilepsy. When I was young, everytime may severe pain akong na-feel like stomach pains, bigla na lang akong mag-collapse and unconscious for a few seconds. When it happens and other people were around, mom and dad would just tell them na kesyo mahina daw tolerance ko sa pain, na para bang normal na scenario na lang sa kanila ang makita akong nahihimatay tuwing may sumasakit sa akin. They didn't bring me to the doctor for checkup, not even my dad. Si mama kasi, ang reason nya is hindi sya bilib sa doctors coz my eldest sister died nung baby pa lang, eh complete ang immunizations nun. Kaya when I was born, pati yung younger sis ko na fave nya, wala kaming bakuna ni isa coz yun ang reason ni mom.
As I grew up, dala-dala ko yung sakit na yun,even sa school or sa streets bigla ako nahihimatay. So for me naman, parang its a normal thing na lang coz un ang iminulat sa akin ng parents ko... na sadyang mahina ang tolerance ko sa pain. Yung sister ko sanay na din na nakikita akong nahihimatay. Pero pag friends ko,when they see me like that they ask me if I'm epileptic kasi daw I'm shaking and naninigas daw ang body ko. Luckily naman laging may nakakasalo sa akin pag nagco-collapse ako. Aside from this, I also started suffering from severe migraines, tapos sobra akong nagiging makakalimutin.

Until that incident happened where nobody saw me and I collapsed so nagkabukol ako. Hubby brought me sa neuro for checkup and had a CTscan and EEG. ok daw yung ctscan, no internal bleeding, pero yung EEG, yung mismong brain activity... the dr. found some injuries. So I related to the dr. yung mga pagkahimatay ko since I was young. She confirmed to me that I have seizure, and since it started at a young age and was not treated agad, malaki na yung damage sa brain, which is why I'm suffering from severe migraines, and baka daw later on... memory loss.

I'm suffering from very painful migraines, as in everyday sumasakit ang ulo ko, whole day syang masakit. Minsan sumusuka na talaga ko. Minsan nga I hit my head with something para ma-ease yung pain.

Tapos sobrang malilimutin na ako, to the point na I always need to have a small note in my purse as a reminder of the tasks that I need to do for the day. Sometimes when hubby and I talk about something, I tend to forget words. Whenever we watch movies or tv series, pag ipinakwento mo sa akin hindi ko maikwento ng buo kahit kapapanuod ko lang coz nalimutan ko na.

So sabi ng dr. as much as possible, wag muna kami magka-baby bcoz it'll be hard for both of us and baka mamana nya ang mga sakit ko. E kumusta naman, I'm 31 yrs old na and according to my OB, mahirap na ako mabuntis coz of my age and I also have myoma.

So now that all these illnesses eh nagkapatung-patong na sa akin, saan ba ito lahat nagsimula? Diba sa pagkabata ko pa? Andami namin plans ni hubby like nag-iipon na kami coz we want to have a baby na sana this year. Tapos we also want to renovate our new house sana para if mabuntis na ko maayos na yung house before I give birth. Kaso hindi na maka-save ng enough coz lahat napunta na sa medications ko. Sino ba naman hindi made-depress diba. Dahil lang sa sakit na naagapan sana nung bata pa ko, siguro everything will be alright now.

[prettygurl00001]

...Alam mo yun, yung pakiramdam na, ok na nga sana eh... sige na tanggap ko na sana na mas fave nya talaga si sis kesa sa akin. Pero yung i-ignore nya ang sakit ko noon, ang hindi ako ipacheckup... tapos ngayon ko pinagdudusahan lahat yon. Yung tipong, ready na sana ko mag-let go sa pakikipag-agawan ng attention ng mom ko sa sis ko, kasi I can start a fresh and better life with my hubby na naman eh, kumbaga may sisimulan na kong bagong family of my own. Pero what happens now is naru-ruin ang life namin bcoz of that past.

In fairness to my dad, hindi kasi sya hands-on dad when we were young coz he's working kaya hindi nya mashado napapansin ang mga health concerns namin, unlike si mom na sa haus lang nuon. Saka si dad eversince walang favoritism. Tapos nung nag-retired na sa job nya, he changed into a more concerned and caring dad now kaya hindi ko sya hate.

[mrslovebunny]

Its so sad to hear this kind of stories... my Mom also has a favoritism, our youngest sister pero di naman sya pabaya na Mom she's also a stay at home Mom. I sometimes feel like I hate her pero kabaliwan ko lang yun kasi for real wala naman syang intention na saktan ako unlike your stories here.


I


Now, I really feel bad about myself for hating her at one point in my life. I really love her and I am lucky to have a Mom like her. Ska happiness is a state of mind--- just try to be happy nalang sis. I hope you get better.

[prettygurl00001]

thanks sa mga words of encouragement nyo ha. I know nagiging very depressed and emotional ako sa situation ko right now. Wala lang talaga ako mapagkwentuhan ng ganitong problems aside from hubby. Very private kasi ako na tao and even sa closest friends ko ayaw kong i-reveal how I really feel towards my mom. Shempre ayaw ko naman sha mapasama sa paningin ng mga friends ko. At least here at gt, you dont know me naman so pede ko i-share ang mga stories na ganito.  Buti na lang may gt...

[prettygurl00001]

Sabi ni mom namatay daw yung eldest sis ko bcoz nagkasakit, hindi naman nya sinasabi directly kung anong klaseng sakit, basta daw bigla na lang tumirik ang mata. Kasi that time bago pa lang sila mag-asawa ng dad ko tapos dalawa lang sila nung eldest sis ko na naiiwan sa haus so minsan daw naiiwan nya mag-isa sa crib pag nagluluto sya, etc. Ang paniwala naman ng mom ko, kinuha daw ng dwende kasi minsan daw naririnig nya tumatawa kahit wala naman kasama sa room. So there, bcoz of that kaya nung pinanganak kami ng youngest sis ko eh hindi na nya kami pinabakunahan kasi wala naman daw palang silbi yun. Alam mo yun, dahil sa nangyari sa eldest sis ko eh ni-sacrifice nya ang health namin. Tapos even yung mga earlier signs of epilepsy ko when I was young e dinedma lang. Kaya ako nagagalit eh, kasi nagsa-suffer ako ng todo ngayon.

Yung sa epilepsy ko, bawal kasi mabuntis dahil dun sa medication ko eh, sabi ng doctor. Yung myoma ko naman, under observation if lumalaki sya. Meron din pala akong kidney stone, may meds din ako tine-take for that. Imagine, puro meds na laman ng body ko. Hirap na sa katawan, hirap pa sa bulsa... kaya nade-depress talaga ko kasi instead na nakakapag-ipon na kami para sa magiging baby, wala e...   

[pinkmoon]

     can't say na ok yan dahil hindi talaga ok. you have every right to be mad and depressed. but instead of focusing on the things you have to deal with dahil sa kapabayaan ng parents mo, don't you think it's better na at this point, to look at the brighter side of things? tulungan mo sarili mo. I know it's easier said than done, but there's no other way you could cope up if you would let your medical condition overwhelm you. laban ka lang. one thing you have to be grateful for is that you're still alive that's enough reason to celebrate. in those instances na nagsei-seize ka you could have gone right there and then pero hindi eh, buhay ka:) another thing is, you have a supportive husband who loves you and understands you sa panahon ngayon, ilan na lang ba ang makakapagsabi nyan confidently di ba? na meron silang asawa na nagmamahal at nakakaintindi sa kanila?
     count your blessings instead. again, it's easier said than done. but it's still up to you how to deal with your situation. wala ng ibang tutulong at magmamahal sa sarili mo kundi ikaw kaya mahalin mo at ipaglaban ang sarili mo kahit mahirap, you deserve it.  lilipas din yan just hang on. you might not have what you want now but who knows... maybe in the future ipagkaloob din yun sa 'yo, at the right time if you will just believe, pray and never give up. you don't have to be like your mom... na mukhang forever ng bitter
     you have a choice, all of us have. choose to be happy instead and again at pag nalulungkot ka, count your blessings

[prettygurl00001]

Thanks sis ha sa mga sinabi mo, very inspiring and kahit papano nagkakalakas ako ng loob. That's what I need lang naman right now, people who understands where I'm coming from aside from my hubby. Kahit nga ganito thankful pa rin ako coz anjan si hubby na nasasandalan ko when I'm weak. Siguro kung wala sya baka mabaliw na ko. Thanks din sa inyo sisses na very supportive and never gets tired of giving advices.

As of now eto continuous pa rin medications ko. Hopefully gumaling ako para na rin matupad namin ni hub mga plans namin in the future. Si mom until now hindi pa ko nagpapakita, since nung Dec pa. Hindi ko pa kasi talaga kayang harapin sya, baka may masabi lang akong masakit or masumbatan ko lang sya e baka mas lalo pang lumala ang situation. Never pa naman shang tumanggap ng pagkakamali. She's close-minded and tingin nya she is always right kaya no one can ever argue with her. Minsan nga I'm having this fear na baka later on maging katulad nya rin ako since she's my mother. Diba sabi ng iba, minsan daw yung trait that you mostly hate about your parent eh minsan yun pa ang nakukuha mo. Pero I don't want to entertain that thought coz I don't want my future kids to suffer like what I'm experiencing right now.

[pinkmoon]

     you're different from your parents, we all are not that i don't like my parents ha though imperfect they may be and while it's true namamana ang ibang ugali, nasa atin pa din ang control kung ayaw ko yung ugali nyang yun at napansin mong nagiging ganun ka din, at least aware ka at dahil aware ka you can do something about it
     i also think blaming parents have an expiration date but that doesn't mean you have no right to feel bad from where you're coming. mahirap naman talaga yung nangyari sa yo kase nalagay sa alanganin health mo. but it's tiring pa din to hear kids and even adults as old as 50 plus years old blaming their parents for the kind of life they currently have you're not as helpless as you think, lahat naman tayo kaya natin baguhin buhay natin kung di tayo masaya sa kung anong meron tayo ngayon. it all starts with taking responsibility for it. and i think that's precisely what you are doing now so just keep it up malalagpasan mo din yan

[crazy_krizsa]

Hi Sis, I'm sorry to hear your story. Now ko na appreciate yung mom ko ng sobra, though sometimes we argue din coz of differences. Anyways, I hope you get well soon, so you can start your own family. Btw, have you talked to your sister about this? Maybe she can help you, close ba kayo? Since sha yung fave ng mom mo, maybe your mom will listen to her.

[prettygurl00001]

Hi Sis, I'm sorry to hear your story. Now ko na appreciate yung mom ko ng sobra, though sometimes we argue din coz of differences. Anyways, I hope you get well soon, so you can start your own family. Btw, have you talked to your sister about this? Maybe she can help you, close ba kayo? Since sha yung fave ng mom mo, maybe your mom will listen to her.

Yes we're kinda close, pero not in the level na sa kanya ako magsasabi ng hinanakit ko kay mom. And I don't think that she'll understand it lalo pag sinabi kong one factor is mas fave sha than me. I used to joke pa nga dati na sya ang fave ni mom pero she just says it's not true. Saka if I confide in her baka isipin nya pa na nai-insecure or naiinggit ako sa kanya. Baka pagsimulan pa yun ng pag-aaway namin. Really, I'm not mad at her bcoz she's the fave, I just feel sad that kahit naging mabuti akong anak, it just seemed that my mom's eyes are always on my sister. Si sis kahit anong gawin, kahit di magpakita ng ilang buwan, kahit di makapag-abot ng pera... parang laging naiintindihan ng mom ko.
I remember nga dati... yung first job ko na nasa provincial area ako, 50% of my salary goes to mom. Wala kasi mashado gastusin dun. Pero once a month lang ako nakakauwi ng manila so I miss my family a lot. Tapos when I transferred to a new job in manila, mejo lumiit bigay ko coz mas malaki expenses dito. Then nagreklamo si mom, mabuti pa daw nung nasa province ako, mas malaki nabibigay ko. Alam mo yun, mas gusto pa nya na hindi ako mashado nakikita kesa yung kasama na nila ko na mas lumiit nabibigay ko.

[girl24]

hi sis! alam ko late na reply... thanks for answering our questions... i understand your situation na right from the start pala na ignore na yung symptoms. bakit kaya me ganong mother? sorry ha kasi ibang iba mother ko konting sakit bibigyang lunas niya na kasi. nurturing mother ko eh bordering na nga sa nurse/doctor ang role niya pag me sakit kami.

na trauma kaya siya sa pagkamatay ng sister mo kaya nagkaganyan siya? anyway, mahirap ng maguhin mother mo. i just hope you'll get better and that you'll have a baby soon too. lagyan mo na lang ng check mark ang spot for good and understanding husband. next na sana malagyan ng check mark ang good health tapos sunod na agad ang baby. good luck!

[prettygurl00001]

O nga eh, yun na lang iniisip ko sa ngayon, at least I'm still lucky to have found a loving and understanding husband. Hopefully nga everything else will get better soon. Medyo ang hirap lang kasi paglabanan pag andami mong sakit. Andaming bawal kainin, andaming medications... and worse is yung mga medications is may mga long-term side effects so eventually panibagong sakit na naman. Para bang never-ending gamutan na ang mangyayari. Haaay...

Nagkita nga pala kami finally ng mom ko this month lang. May family event kasi. At first I didn't wanna come, kaso tinext ako ng sis ko at sabi eh punta daw ako at hinahanap na ko ni mom. So I realized na baka magtaka na ang sis and dad ko pag di ako nagpakita pa. As much as possible kasi ayaw ko nang gawing dramatic pa yung mga pangyayari coz wala rin naman mangyayari.

Well as usual nung pagpunta namin ni hub dun, si dad lang ang sumalubong and nangamusta sa amin. Tapos nung pagkakita sa akin ni mom napagkamalan pa akong yung sis ko, medyo hawig kasi kami. So ayun, tipong imbyerna agad kasi hello? andun na kaya yun sis ko the day before pa lang, tapos kesyo hinahanap daw ako ni mom e it doesn't seem like that naman. Pero dedma na lang ako, kunwari hindi na-hurt.

 

[boracay2862]

Ako hinde, lahat nang kapatid ko ok lang sila to get married, ako hinde kaya naging single mom ako. Siguro I just love her so much ang Mom ko, it hurt though na ako lang lagi nyang kasama and my kids, sabi ny'a walang iwanan, but she left me, she died 4 years ago. Ang sakit sakit sa akin, until now I see all of my sisters na kasal ako hinde. Nangako ako sa Mom ko. Now every corner nang house nakikita ko pa rin ang memories namin, how I take care of her and forget my happiness. But she made me tough, she made me strong. Bunso nga ako pero hangang ngayon ako pa rin attend sa mga ate ko kahit pa they have a husband. Alam mo maybe your Mom knows kaya mo, not your sister, maasahan ka, ano man problema kaya mo kaya sya ganyan sa iyo. Ako kasalanan nang mga ate ko salo ko non ako ang pinapagalitan, pala sinanay niya ako sa problema sa lahat nang bagay, pala she wants me na kayanin ang lahat. Ngayon palang ako nag momove on but it's not that easy! Anyway go and attend the b-day of your Mom, pabayaan mo there are reason now di mo maintindihan. About your sickness see a second opinion. Pakabait ka na lang, in the long run you will see blessing your way!