Do you feel the same way towards your mother?
Ako it started lately lang. Actually kasi, noon pa lang may mga tampo-tampo na ko sa kanya. Kasi mas favorite nya ang younger sis ko. Though she doesn't admit it of course, pero I can feel it, I can see it.
Magkaiba kami ng sis ko, ako yung tipong responsible and masunurin type na anak. Yung sis ko is more of the independent type pero hindi naman rebeldeng anak. Since we were young, ako yung laging napapagalitan bcoz I'm clumsy, I wet my bed, etc. Yung sis ko naman is super lazy doing household chores, mahirap utusan, etc. so I end up doing all of the chores instead. Sometimes I thought that it's kinda unfair, pero ni minsan wala akong naging ill-feelings or inggit towards my sis.
So the pattern goes on until we grew up. Nung may work na kami ng sis ko pareho, bumukod na kami sa parents, pero hindi kami magkasama ng house na ni-rent. Kasi I'm organized, si sister naman is mejo makalat sa bahay. Tapos, ako pa rin yung laging mas nakaka-alalang dumalaw sa parents, ako pa rin yung mas nakakaalalang magbigay ng money, etc. But everytime I visit them, mom would always ask me "Where's your sister?". Whenever I text my mom, feeling nya lagi is yung sister ko yung nagtetext sa kanya. So next time na magkita kami, magkukwento sya kung anong pinag-usapan nila ng sis ko sa text... eh samantalang ako naman yung ka-text nya nun. Tapos pag Xmas, laging mas bongga ang gift nya kay sis kesa sa akin. I tried talking to her about it, pero sya pa ang nagalit. I'm accusing her of something that is not true daw. So ang nangyari... ako pa rin ang nag-apologize.
Then, nung mag-bf pa lang kami ni hub, gusto sana namin buy muna house then kahit simple wedding na lang. Kaso my parents didn't want a super simple wedding coz shempre invited pa mga relatives. So hindi muna kami bumili ng house and nagpakasal muna. After a year, mom just found out that my sis and bf bought a house, almost same date as my wedding date, and sis just hid it from us. Then she got married recently, a super simple wedding... and mom agreed on that without any qualms.
Then recently lang, some accident happened to me so I consulted a doctor, and I discovered a serious illness. Pero the symptoms of this illness was evident na since I was a kid. I just didn't know why my parents ignored those symptoms that time and hindi man lang ako nagawang ipacheckup sa doctor.
And now when I think about my life...those memories of my childhood sa parents ko, I feel sad and upset. I feel sad coz I know, the cycle of favoritism between me and my sis will never be resolved no matter what I do. I'm upset bcoz, I'm at this stage of my life now that it doesn't matter anymore if mom doesn't love me that much, as long as I have my husband, pero it seems like my illness which has uprooted from my sad past as a child might hinder my happy future. I'm starting to hate it, why mom didn't even bother to bring me to a doctor when I was still a kid. Samantalang when my sis got sick din nuon, I remembered them staying at the hospital and leaving me at home with my aunt. I feel so bad it hurts too much.
By the way it's my mom's bday next week and I'm planning not to go. I'm not sure if I already have the guts to face her, since they don't know yet about my illness.
Please enlighten me sisses...
