A Life To Live, A Life To Give (Book Two)

[jezamae]

Four : Learn About The Man Before I Fell

Kap was really serious with my swimming lessons. He eagerly encouraged me. He patiently waited for me. He happily joined me after his badminton or tennis game.

But I realized two things.

One, and this was frustrating, after learning to breath and swim for a very short distance of three feet, I did not improve. I couldn’t even float. I was still constrained to the embarrassing shallow depth of four feet.

Two, Kap’s quarters was off-limits after the swimming lessons. He didn’t explain. I didn’t ask.

I glanced at Kap. He was patiently waiting as he sat on the chair. His hair was wet. He had showered, He wore a blue with red stripes shirt and black jeans. He looked good. No, eye-catching. Or perhaps I was just biased. As the saying goes, love is blind. But the look of appreciation directed to Kap by the woman in pink swimsuit on the chair next to him showed that I was not blind. He looked good to me. He looked good to her.

I stepped out of the shower room thinking of my good fortune. Kap.

Kap rose and met me, smiling.

The woman in the pink swimsuit stared at him. Her gaze shifted and appraised me. She frowned, looking puzzled.

I could read what was on her mind through her eyes. What’s a man like Kap doing with a woman like me? I lifted my chin, leaned closer to Kap and spoke, “let’s watch a movie after lunch,” in a voice loud enough for the woman in pink swimsuit to hear.

Kap raised his brow but didn’t speak as he held my hand on our way to his car.

The movie was great, but the date wasn’t.

“You feel asleep,” I accused.

“I took a nap,” he protested.

“A nap?” I grumbled.  “It’s a good movie. You read the book, you said.”

 â€œIt’s a good read, however unbelievable it was.” He was looking ahead at the road when he said this. He was always careful when driving. Eyes on the road.

“A good read? You fell asleep thirty minutes after the movie started,” I reminded him. I could still feel my surprise when I saw him. Eyes closed sitting beside me, as upright as someone who was awake and watching the movie. I nudged him and he looked startled.

“I woke up,” he countered.

“I” I placed my right hand on my chest, “woke you up. And you fell asleep again.”

He grinned. “I woke up at the right moment. I saw Tom Hanks solving the puzzle. And when the albino guy was killed.”

“That’s Silas. S I L A S,” I spelled out.  “You’ve seen the beginning and the ending of the movie and you missed all the other parts.”

“It’s a long movie. And the execution of the story was quite slow. I got bored,” he complained.

“What?” I asked incredulously. “The movie was a hit. People were talking about it.”

“Because of the book. People will certainly watch it because the book was a best seller,” he pointed out dryly.

“No. I won’t accept that argument.”

“And there’s Tom Hanks. People watch Tom Hanks.” He grinned and continued, “You watch Tom Hanks.”

“I watch Meg Ryan. It does so happen that Tom Hanks was in her movies,” I corrected him and added, “I watched Reese Witherspoon too.”

“The story is highly unbelievable. Jesus Christ fathering a child? How absurd,” he remarked and shook his head.

This surprised me. “You’re a believer.”

“I’m a catholic.”

“I mean…faith, traditional faith.”

He laughed. “I don’t know what you mean. But I hear mass once a week. Not necessarily on a Sunday. But I never missed. Or, if I did, at least, I exert some effort. We have chapels. In Aguinaldo, Bonifacio, Villamor. And there’s Sanctuario in Forbes.”

I stared at him in disbelief. He’s a practicing catholic! Mom would love to hear this.

He frowned. “You seem surprised. “

”I didn’t think that you…”

He interrupted me. “Regular mass in the PMA. After four years, I guess it grew in me. Attending mass.”

“Hmm. Well…Yes. I was surprised,” I admitted shyly.  “But it’s a pleasant surprise. That’s why you knew about angels.” I murmured and I recalled his comment about my name. Mikaela, from the angel Michael, the prince angel.

He looked at me with inquiring eyes and he glanced past me. “You mom is waiting for you.”

I turned to see Mom on the doorway, fully dressed, and told Kap, “I didn’t know that she’s going out today.”

“Mom,” I called out when I reached the door. I saw Gabriel at the back of the car as he bent down.

Mom looked past me, “hi Kap,” and turned to me. “It’s good that you are here. Your dad and I are going to the hospital, visit our neighbor,” she said as she glanced at the house across.

“Mrs. Despi? Why? What happened to her?”

I rarely saw our neighbor and I haven’t talk to her, not even once. She’s older than my mom. She lived in the States since I was a child and she came back when she retired as a nurse. That was two years ago.

“She slipped this morning. In her garden.”

“But she’s fine. It’s old age. Her bones became weak. Brittle,” Dad added as he came out of the house.

I looked at my dad. He wore a white cap to hide his receding hair.

“Kap,” he greeted and patted Kap on the back.

Kap seemed surprised but it was gone in a flash. “Sir.”

I didn’t escape me. Dad’s gesture. From shaking Kap’s hand, to a pat on Kap’s back. Things were improving. I smiled.

“Kap, would you mind to stay with Mikaela while we are out? Gabriel will drive us. Although the maid is here, I’ll feel better if you’re here with Mikaela.”

Wow! Things were not just improving. Things were excellently happening as I wished. I was ecstatic. I almost wanted to dance with joy. Dad trusted Kap.

“Yes sir. I will stay,” Kap quietly agreed.

Dad nodded and walked to the car.

Mom held my hand and instructed, “You take care of Kap. Dinner is ready.”

“Yes, Mom.” I almost laugh. Take care of Kap? Kap took care of me.

Kap and I watched the car leave. Mom waved. I waved back. Gabriel winked and signaled to Kap. I rolled my eyes.

Kap was quiet when I turned to him. “Come in. Are you hungry? Do you want to eat?” I inquired as I walked in. He followed me.

“No. Thanks. Too early.”

He sat down on the chair facing the television. I stood beside him and asked, “Do you want to watch? A DVD?”

“No. Let’s talk.”

“Talk?” I asked warily. He looked serious. I was alarmed. “Is something wrong?”

“Please sit down with me. I need to tell you this.” He gestured his long hand on the seat beside him.

I looked down, worried. About what? Marriage? You are not backing out, are you? Please. Not that one. I looked up and waited.

[jezamae]

sis jezamae wala pa bang update? 

ayan sis. ito muna ang na-post ko tonight

i'll post the remaining part tomorrow if i can

 

[jezamae]

Four : Learn About The Man Before I Fell

He began. “I’m a middle child. The eldest, Alfred, is in Chicago for the past three years. He’s in IT. His wife and two daughters are in Cebu.”

I stared at him, confused on what he was saying. Then I realized. He was talking about himself. He was telling me things about him. Things that I wanted to know. I waited for him to continue.

“Alice is in Cagayan de Oro, with her husband and two daughters. You’ve met Ana Marie.”

“Anne?” I guessed.

“Yes. Amelie, our youngest, is a nurse in a chiropractic clinic in Wisconsin.”

I wanted to ask, what’s chiropractic, instead, I said, “there’s five of you.”

He nodded. “Five kids. My mother is a nurse but she works in the provincial health office. My father is with the interior and local government office of Cebu.”

“Both are government employees,” I commented.

“I grew up as a normal and simple kid. Nothing extraordinary that I can tell you,” he grinned.

“Well, you were a high school valedictorian and you studied in U.P. before PMA.”

“U.P. is a good school,” he said flatly as he shrugged. “I like Math, Social Science, History, Language subjects.”

“You like them all.”

He frowned, as he looked thoughtful. “Yeah. It looks like that. If I tell you that I took engineering and accounting subjects as a cadet, will you believe me?”

Yes. I believed everything that you would say. “No. I don’t think so.”

“I did. We have advanced math subjects and basic accounting in the PMA. They were useful for my MBA studies.”

“Really?”

“Really.” He looked past me, and glanced at Yolly, our maid, who was in the kitchen.

“I know how to do the laundry, but as a cook, I am a lost case. But I can handle minor household repairs, like plumbing, or fix a busted electrical outlet. As I said minor repairs only, nothing extraordinary,” he said, looking uncomfortable. He didn’t like talking about his household skills.

“I’m impressed!” I exclaimed. I saw Yolly looked up when she heard me, and then she looked down again.

“I drink six cups of coffee a day. And I find drinking coffee at Starbucks, seven days a week, quite ostentatious,” he confessed. “But I like their coffee.”

I smiled. “Dad said that too.”

“I’m not really into basketball or golf but I enjoy playing tennis and badminton. I like swimming too, although I will choose the beach over the pool anytime. And of course running. I run twenty kilometers a week. Running makes me feel good. I also go to the gym. We have a gym at the camp.”

“That why you have a nice body.” Now, I knew.

He raised his brow and smiled sheepishly. “Thanks. I like to take a nap. I need to.”

“Like today?” I teased.

“Like today,” he agreed. “I take a fifteen-minute break after lunch when I’m in the office. I can sleep for five minutes. And that’s enough for me. I sleep easily. I also don’t have problems waking up.”

“It’s hard, waking up in the morning,” I blurted out

He stared at me with a look of understanding. “You’re still young. You need eight hours of sleep. When you grow older, it’s easier.” He smiled and continued, “When I retire I want to be in a farm. Trees. Fruits. Be a farmer.”

He wanted to become a farmer? “That’s your dream?”

“Yes. Aside from being a soldier.”

His confession reminded me of the question that I wanted to ask but always forgot. “You’re intelligent. Tall and good-looking. Why did you become a soldier?”

“Every year, the PMA has ten to fifteen class valedictorian as plebes, or first year. And there’s a height requirement of course,” he explained. “Don’t laugh on what I am about to say,” he paused and suppressed his laughter.

“What?”

“The PMA has this unwritten qualification for applicants.” His eyes were glinting with amusement as he said this.

His expression made me wonder. “What qualification?” I asked curiously.

“Extreme ugliness is not qualified,” he said and he laughed.

“What! It’s a joke, right?” I stared at him in disbelief.

He replied amidst the laughter. “It’s true.”

“I don’t believe that. No.”

He calmed down. “It’s unwritten but it’s true.”

“How could they…? That’s ridiculous.” I shook my head and he started to laugh again.

“I’m telling you the truth, Anyway, to answer your other question. It’s because I wanted to be a soldier. I’ve always wanted to join the army since I was young. It started when I saw the Edsa revolution on television. Soldiers. Nuns. The people. All of them fighting for democracy, for the country. It made a big impression to me. Making a change. Doing something for the country. Leaving a legacy. So, here I am now. A soldier,”

“I see.” Somehow, I expected this from him. “And the MBA?”

“I had a lot of free time here. I decided to study. Make use of my time. To learn. And later, I saw it as a fallback. In case something happens. But during that time, I didn’t think I will need it. Fallback. The army is my life. It has been my dream. To be a military officer. And with luck, maybe become a general.”

“Just like us. To be become a department manager.” I remembered Carl. “Or a general manager,” I commented.

“I guess,” he agreed. “But more of to be the best military officer that I can be. One that in the future, when I look back I can say, I did my best to leave a legacy and nothing less. My friends are here, in the military. We are more than brothers. 24/7 of being together. We depend on each other to survive especially when we are on field. A soldier’s action may save another soldier’s life.” He seemed lost in thought. “But things changed. I realized that the military alone couldn’t be my life,” he paused for a second.

I wondered if he was thinking about the soldier who drowned. “Why? Because soldiers die young?”

He flinched as he responded, “No. Not that.”

“Because life is hard for soldiers?”

He frowned. “I can handle that,”

“Because soldiers are politicized?” I guessed again.

“What?” He looked confused.

“We have politicians who are former military officers. And most of them are not good politicians. Dad said they ruined your beliefs and ideals,” I explained.

“No. Not that.”

“Then what? Why?”

He looked at me intently and spoke softly. “Because of you. The dreams I built for myself became meaningless when you are not part of it. It’s not complete without you.  There are times when it I felt that the military took a backseat. It’s like everything in my life now is about you. Since the moment I saw you. Somehow, you became my life.”

I stared at him and wondered.

Everyone told me to know him well. No one, with the exception of Juliet, believed what I felt. No one understood that my heart knew Kap with my eyes closed.

And now I wondered. Was it possible? After he told me these things about himself. After knowing him like this, was it possible for me to fall in love with him more than I already did? Much more than when I fell in love with him when all I knew about him was his military position and the existence of his sister Anne?

Yes, it’s possible, my heart whispered. I felt it. Love, as it overflowed within me, from me. I sighed and leaned closer to him.

He raised his hands and reached out for me. I smiled, expectant.

[bhabycj825]

hi sis jezamae. thanks sa update ha! kaka inlove talaga..ang galing mo sis..

[jezamae]

Four : Learn About The Man Before I Fell

Then I heard it. A buzzing sound. His hand stopped mid-air. He looked down and he moved. He shoved his right hand, to the pocket of his jeans. When his hand came out out, it held his mobile phone, with it’s light blinking. A call. Someone’s called.

Kap muttered something I didn’t hear clearly before he answered the call. “Bok.”

He looked at me, mouthed, sorry, as he listened to the call. His brows knitted together as he glanced at his watch. I stared at his watch, and to his arm. This was the arm that could lift me effortlessly. Involuntarily, my hand reached out and caressed his arm. I realized what I was doing, stopped and dropped my hand back on my lap. I glanced up and met his intense gaze. I looked down, stared at my hands on my lap and listened.

“Bok, sorry, what did you say?” he asked in a tight voice. “Two hours from now? Sure, I will be there.”

Two hours? I looked at him with inquiring eyes.

“Move? When? Mistah?” He paused and looked thoughtful. “It’s a small party. That will do. The wives are coming, aren’t they?”

Party? Mistah? Wives?

“Sixteen? That's fine, I guess." He nodded, as he appeared to agree on what the caller told him.

Sixteen? I glanced on the calendar on the wall. That’s more than a week from now. I understood. A party with the mistah, his PMA classmates, with their wives on the sixteenth. Wives? I was not, yet. This truth somehow upset me.

I saw him nod again, murmured, “hmm. Okay,” turned off his mobile phone and turned his attention to me.

“A mistah, I mean, classmate,” he began, frowned and asked, “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine. Why?”

“You look sad,” he remarked and reached out for me, “come here.”

I slid closer with my back to him and he wrapped his arms around me. I felt his warm breath on my cheek. 

“I have to leave in an hour. I hope your parents are here by that time.”

“You can leave. Yolly is here.”

“No. I’ll leave only when they are here. As agreed with your father.”

“But…”

He interrupted me. “It’s just a meeting. No rush.”

“Meeting about what?” I probed.

He moved to change into a more comfortable position, with me still wrapped in his arms. “A get-together party with the mistah. They usually bring their wives, girlfriends. We do that every year.”

“That’s nice” I commented. “On the sixteenth? Where?”

“At the Officers’ Clubhouse in Bonifacio.”

“I see.” I was waiting for it. For an invitation. I wanted to be there, with him

“Hmmm,” he murmured, stroking my hair with his lips.

I looked up to see Yolly watching us with a look of disapproval. I wondered what Dad told her. Keep an eye on them. I smiled quietly and ignored her. I would enjoy this moment. I liked being with Kap, like this. I could feel his warmth enveloped me. I sighed with pleasure.

I waited but he didn’t say anything about the party anymore. Instead he talked about him again.

His favorite color is blue but he likes to wear plain white shirts.

He preferred fish to meat.

He likes shawarma and pop cola.

He listens to the music of John Lennon, Bon Jovi and Eagles. He admitted to being born decades late when it comes to music.

He watches American Idol on the cable channel.

He thinks that Leonardo Di Caprio and Denzel Washington are the best actors of their time.

He will choose Angelina Jolie over Jennifer Aniston anytime.

He likes to watch James Bond movies, from Sean Connery to Daniel Craig.

He buys magazines like Entrepreneur and Agribusiness regularly.

He can sleep three hours a day for three consecutive months and still feel healthy and alert.

He feels bad and hates the government most when he sees children on the street begging for food or money.

He strongly believes that the Catholic Church should not meddle with the affairs of the state.

He supports the American invasion to Iraq. If you only knew the terror they created, you would understand.  We have to stop terrorism, he explained.

He plans to serve in the United Nations peacekeeping corps.

He goes home to Cebu for New Year’s break. He also explained that soldiers choose either a seven-day break for Christmas or New Year, but never both, as it’s not allowed.

My parents came home on time. Five minutes after my parents arrived, I walked with Kap on his way to his car thinking about his party. Wives, girlfriends. How about me? I was too shy to press him.

He glanced at his watch as he searched for his car key in the pocket of his jeans. “Just right,” he announced.

“Yup. There’s no traffic by this time,” I agreed.

He turned and inserted the key to the car door to open it. He faced me and said, “Anything will be fine.”

“What?”

“The dress code.”

“What dress code?”

“The party on the sixteenth. You are going with me, aren’t you?” He stared at me with probing eyes, “or, you already have something planned on that day?”

He was asking me to go with him on the party with his military friends. I almost said, great, but checked myself and instead I asked, “are you sure you want me to?” Please say yes. Please.

He grinned as he answered. “Yes. I am sure.”

I tried to hide the excitement in my voice when I replied, “Yes. I am going with you.”

He didn’t show any indication if he noticed how thrilled I was. “That’s settled then. I will be here on Monday, at seven thirty. Let’s start the week early. Now, go.”

I nodded with understanding. As always, he gently ordered me to stand at the door of my home, see with his own eyes that I am safe, before he drove off.

It was hard to sleep when I was this excited. Tonight, a lot of good things happened. Dad trusted Kap. I’ll feel better if you’re here with Mikaela. Kap talked about himself. I’ve learned so many things about him, his family, his life. I found out that I loved him more today than yesterday. In a few days, something great would happen. He was bringing me to his party. I would meet his mistah and their wives. I would step into his world, his military life. I was becoming part of it. And I would stay there. Nothing would make me get out of his world, No one would, I vowed.

I eventually fell asleep, smiling.

[jezamae]

Five: Completely, Absolutely

Smiling. I stared at her pretty fair face. Francine was smiling as she approached me. Her tall figure glided on the aisle separating the door of the men’s room and door of the classroom where I stood.

“Alone?” she inquired.

She was asking about Kap. “He’s in the men’s room,” I replied and gestured to the room across.

She opened one of the two books on her arms, pulled out three pink envelopes and she gave one to me. “You have two days to buy a gift.” She laughed when she said this.

I opened it and pulled a pink card. The smiling face of her daughter occupied half of the card. “She’s a grown up already! And very pretty,” I exclaimed.

“Fifth birthday,” she announced proudly. “And you are coming. Promise me.”

“I will. I promise.”

“And bring him,” she said as she turned to the direction of the men’s room.

“I have to ask him.”

She nodded, looked away and spoke, “I don’t know how to say this but, umm…” she hesitated and returned her gaze to me, “Carl will be there.”

It made me look up. “Carl? My Carl? I mean… Carl. I see,” I stammered.

“I was thinking that it’s okay with you. It has been months,” she paused looking uncomfortable. And I want you to come. And Carl too. This might be Caitlin’s last birthday party here.”

I understood. They might leave the Philippines next year. I forced a smile. “It’s all right. Don’t worry about it.” I should not worry I told myself but it seemed that the expression on my face said otherwise.

Francine touched my right arm and squeezed it very lightly.

I sighed in response.

“Francine. Hi,” a low clear voice said.

Francine turned to the voice and smiled.

Kap glanced at me. He frowned and looked at me with probing eyes. “Is everything all right?”

What did his perceptive eyes see? I blinked. “Oh. Everything’s fine. We are just talking about Francine’s daughter.” I glanced at Francine pleading for help as I wondered how Kap would react if he learned that we were talking about Carl, the man I left to be with him. And that was less than three months ago.

“Yes,” Francine said as her gaze flitted from me and to Kap. And to me again.

What was she doing? Kap might see her.

“Your four year old daughter,” Kap mumbled. He didn’t show any indication if he noticed Francine’s flitting eyes.

“How did you know? I guess Mikaela told you. She’s turning five on Saturday.” Francine fixed her gaze to Kap. I breathed a sigh of relief. 

“She didn’t. You did. Class introduction. Last term.” Kap explained.

“You remember.” Francine smiled in satisfaction.

Of course. He remembered details. Saving them somewhere on his brain and dig them up when he needed them

Kap shrugged with his gaze on the pink envelope I was holding.

“Invitation.” I held the envelope up for him and laughed. “Children’s party.”

Francine reminded me in serious tone, “”You are coming. You promised.” She glanced at the watch on her wrist. “I will be late for my class,” she said before she turned around but she looked back to me. “I’ll be expecting the two of you.”

“I promise to be there,” I assured her.

Francine smiled and walked away.

Kap held my hand and gently prodded me to start walking. “What is it all about?”

“Caitlin, her daughter’s fifth birthday party,” I explained.

“Umm,” he murmured.

“Do you want to go with me? That’s two days from now.”

“Okay,” he replied.

I stared at him. Should I tell him that Carl would be there too? But then Carl might not be. Something could happen. Work. A meeting.  Yes. He might not make it.

I was thinking of Carl. This was the first time that I thought of him. Since that day. Which would be etched on my memory forever. I could still remember the hatred and pain in his eyes. Because of me. I sighed and I felt distressed.

Kap raised his brow. “What is it?”

 â€œNothing. Nothing.” I mumbled.  Carl was busy man. He might not make it. I wouldn’t see him. He wouldn’t see me. With Kap.

[fairybelle]

heartwarming...
has the story ended yet?

[jezamae]

heartwarming...
has the story ended yet?

this story is still on-going

the real one where this story was based ended a few years ago

i will post the next installment next week

 

[jezamae]

Five: Completely, Absolutely

I took a deep breath and steadied my nerves when I walked out of the door ahead of him. Just speak in a normal voice, I tried to convince myself and sneaked a glance on my right.

He was smiling as he held my hand on our way to his car.

Could his very keen sense feel it?

I studied his face. His smile didn’t indicate that he could.

“Drive safely!” I heard Mom called out.

Kap turned and replied, “Yes maám.”

I turned to my mom to smile and turned to Kap.

He raised his eyebrow.

I couldn’t hide anything from him. His senses were always tuned to me. I didn’t have to say a word and he would know. I gave him a warm smile hoping to distract him. His eyes flickered and he grinned.

It worked. My smile widened.

Or so I thought. Because his attention was on me when we were both seated in the car.

“Do you want to say it now or later?” he asked as he gave me back the paper bag I gave him when we left the house.

I opened the paper bag, pulled out a small box and braved it.

“I bought you a shirt,” I paused and pulled out a shirt from the box for him to see. “Would you wear it for Francine’s daughter’s birthday?” I held my breath and waited for his response.
 
His brow knitted together, he looked down and examined his shirt.

I followed his gaze. He was wearing a green shirt. And it firmly hugged his almost perfect body, as I could see his chest moved with his every breath, distracting me on what I was about to say.

I blinked my eyes and immediately assured him. “There’s nothing wrong with your shirt. It’s just that… Well… I…” I stared at him, at a loss for words.

“You what?” he asked.

“You shirt is really fine,” I responded softly.

“And?” He waited patiently.

“Well… I saw this shirt,” I began and looked down on the small white silver button just below the collar of the new navy blue shirt on my lap, “when I bought the gift for Caitlin. I thought you will look good on it so I bought it.”

“For this party,” he murmured.

My voice was weak when I replied. “Yes.”
 
It took him a few seconds before he spoke again. “Will it make you happy? If I wear that shirt?”

“Yes.” I looked at him, feeling hopeful now.

He sighed resignedly. “In that case, I won’t mind changing to that shirt.” He smiled and reached out for the shirt.

I mumbled, “thanks,” and looked away as he pulled his green shirt over his head to change into the navy blue shirt, revealing his perfectly toned body.

He squeezed my hand then he drove off.

I sat quietly, ignoring the guilt I felt as I looked on the navy blue shirt that firmly hugged his body. He was equally quiet but he oftentimes glanced at me with a smile. I wondered what was on his mind. And if it's about the shirt.

“Here we are,” he announced and turned right going to the parking lot.

“This doesn’t seem to be a place for children’s party,” he remarked as we walked to the entrance of one of the cluster of seafood restaurants.

I grinned. Children’s party was about fried chicken, spaghetti and burgers and not prawns in orange sauce, seashells and crabs. “The owner is a cousin of Francine’s husband. They were given huge discounts.”

He shrugged. “I won’t hold our son’s birthday party here. Kids won’t enjoy this.”

Our son? Our future son. I was thrilled. We would have sons and daughters. “I agree with you,” I finally managed to say.

We were standing on the doorway searching for familiar faces when someone called my name.

“Mikaela!”

I turned to the sound of the voice and I saw Francine in the middle of unfamiliar faces, smiling as usual, but now looking frenzied, approached us.

She saw Kap and her smile widened. “I am glad that you made it. Come in. I’ll find you a table.” She grabbed my hand and whispered to me, “He’s on his way.”

It sounded like a warning and I acknowledged it with a small smile. I glanced at Kap who looked busy, surveying the restaurant and the people inside.

“Here,” Francine said as we stopped on a round table at the right corner. Three women, all older than me, who sat on the left side of the table, looked up.

“May, Jem, and Medy,” Francine gestured her right hand to me, “Mikaela and Kap.”

I saw them glanced at me and then they stared at Kap with admiring eyes.

“You are all my classmates and friends from school,” Francine cheerfully explained.

“Hi,” I said, smiled at the women on the table and turned to Kap. He was smiling at them politely.

The three women said hello and offered the seats next to them but they  were looking at Kap.

Great! Francine sat us together with these women.

Kap gently squeezed my hand that he held. His extra sensitive senses felt my reaction. As usual.

“I’ll leave you for a while,” Francine said to me looking apologetic.

“Of course, I understand.” I handed her a pink box. “Our gift.”

She reached out for it. “Thanks,” she mumbled while her eyes searched for someone or something.

“Do you need help?” I asked politely.

Francine slightly shook her head. “No. Thanks. Everything’s fine. Just enjoy yourselves.” She turned to me, “I really have to go,” stared at me for a few seconds before she left.

I understand the stares. He would be here. Soon.

It was sooner than I expected. As soon as Kap assisted me on my seat, I looked up to see Francine walking toward our table. On her right side was the man I didn’t want to see. The hand that held my hand on his lap moved slightly. I turned to Kap and met his gaze; it was unreadable. He then turned to Francine and to the man on her right.

They stopped and looked at me and Kap while the three women on the table with us were ignored.

Francine smiled uneasily.  “Umm…Well…”

I looked at them. I stared at him, unblinking. I didn’t want to see him. Or so I thought. Because I felt it as he stood in front of me. After everything that happened, somehow, I missed him.

“Mikaela,” he said.

“Hi.” I paused before I uttered his name, “Carl.”

Carl stood in front of us, a small and hesitant smile on his face, wearing a shirt that had the same logo embroidered on the shirt that I gave to, and now hugged the body of, Kap.

The hand that gently held my hand tightened its grip.

[sweetiemaldita]

thanks for the update sis!
looking forward for more..

[jezamae]

Five: Completely, Absolutely

Then Kap released my hand, rose, and leaned across the table with an outreached hand.  He said “Carl,” and the two men who were part of my life, one was my present and the other was my past, shook hands politely.

Francine and I exchanged a quick glance before she spoke, looking a little relaxed now. “This is the designated table for my school friends, so you may want to sit here.”

“Is it all right with you?” Carl replied with a question as his gaze flitted to me and to Kap. And to me again.

I didn’t reply, and turned to Kap with inquiring eyes.

“Sure,” Kap responded. He sounded so sure, so calm. He sat down and quietly reached to hold my hand again. I felt his fingers weave through mine, slowly caressing and soothing me.

Carl shrugged indifferently, sat down across from me, faced me and met my gaze.

I instinctively looked away and glanced at the three women who sat together with us on the table. They quietly stared at us, confusion written on their faces.

“So, how are you?” Carl asked. His voice sounded a little strained.

I turned to him. “I’m fine,” I replied, calmer than I would have expected, and added, “We are fine. How about you? How’s work?”

“Same as usual. Busy,” he replied nonchalantly and looked around.

I felt uneasy and I wanted to get away. “I have to go to the wash room,” I whispered to Kap.

Kap nodded and slowly released my hand.

I rose and hit a leg of the chair. My knees gave out. “Oh my,” I exclaimed and staggered as I tried to regain my balance.

Both men reacted.

Kap rose quickly, reached out and he caught me before I could stumble. “Steady," he whispered and pulled me against his chest.

Kap was holding me with my back to him. And I was facing Carl.

Carl was on his feet, a few inches from me, with his arms raised as if to embrace me.

Kap saw Carl. The muscles of his arms, wrapped around me, flexed and tightened.

“Are you all right?” Carl asked, still holding my gaze. Concern was evident on his voice

It took me a minute to respond. “Yes,” I said breathlessly.

“You should be careful,” Carl said and looked at Kap disapprovingly.

Kap stiffened. His body was motionless with the sudden stress but his voice was gentle when he spoke to me. “Are you hurt?”

“No. I am fine.”

“Are you sure?” Kap asked again. His gaze swiftly examined me from head to toe, searching for any sign that I was hurt.

“I am,” I answered and took a deep breath, willing myself into composure.

Kap reluctantly released his hold on my waist but didn’t let go of my arm.

I smiled to assure him. “I’m fine. Really.”

I heard a long intake of breath. Carl.

“Okay,” Kap said and completely let go of me.

My knees felt weak but I supported myself. I felt uncomfortable being in the arms of Kap, however comforting, while Carl was watching us.

The three of us were still standing and both men quietly stared at me.

“Mikaela! Carl!”

Kap, Carl and I turned to the loud cries. So were the three women who shared the table with us, who appeared more confused after having witnessed me almost fell down and the silent glares of the two men.

I saw Edmund walking towards us. But it was not him who called out. It was the woman who was walking behind him. It was Liz. She was an old friend from school. And Carl’s too.

“Liz!” I exclaimed. “I thought that you are in Singapore.”

“I am. I’m here for a vacation,” she replied cheerfully, hugged me in a tight embrace and turned to Carl.

Carl smiled. “Liz, how’s Singapore?”

Liz rolled her eyes. “You are asking me! We had dinner last week in Singapore.” She turned to me, “and he forgot to tell me something.” She paused and glanced at Edmund.

Edmund looked down evasively.

“About what?” I asked, and for some reasons I felt wary.

Liz stared at me intently. “That you and Carl are no longer together.” The words fell out of her mouth, adding weight to the already tension-filled air around the table.

A brief moment of silence punctuated the end of her sentence, followed by exclamation points for the clearly surprised gasps of the three women who sat with us.

I flinched. “Umm…Well…” I stammered

“We’re history, Liz,” Carl smiled but it didn’t match the hard expression in his eyes and the edge on his tone.

Kap became rigid, moved closer to me, in a protective stance, and held my hand. His face was perfectly smooth and blank. But I felt it. He was ready. For what?

[jezamae]

Five: Completely, Absolutely

Liz looked at me, at Kap and our intertwined hands. She looked at Kap again,

“Oh,” she exclaimed. “I see.” Her eyes sparkled, staring at Kap and his chest. “Now, I understand. And I am not surprised.” Liz was appraising Kap appreciatively, then she ginned.

I groaned. Liz had not changed, still saying what she wanted. I looked at Kap.

Kap appeared unaffected with Liz’s scrutiny, slowly caressing the back of my hand with his fingers.

Carl muttered something unintelligible and his chin came up arrogantly. It reminded me that I wanted to get away. And the need to escape was stronger now.

“I’m going to the ladies room,” I announced.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Kap asked.

“No.”

“I’ll take care of him,” Liz told me, looking at Kap maliciously.

I gave her a warning look and she replied with an indifferent shrug.

Carl moved away to let me pass.

I dragged myself, grateful that my legs obediently carried me forward. I glared at Edmund and mouthed, shut up, when I passed by. He looked remorseful.

I stayed at the ladies room longer that I needed.

This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have been here. I shouldn’t have brought Kap here. But I wanted Kap to see my life, my world.

I closed my eyes, sucked in a deep breath, opened the door and saw him.

Carl leaned back on the wall, facing the door where I came from, and was obviously waiting for me.

He came close upon seeing me. “Mikaela.”

“Carl.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that,” he said sincerely.

I smiled. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

“I always hurt you, don’t I? You ignored my calls after that day,” he grimaced. “I regret being a jerk on that day. For saying things that I knew hurt you. If I could take them all back, I would. If I could only turn back the time, I would. Change everything. Spend more time with you."

The words came out from him and I listened quietly.

“You know what I regret the most? That instead of spending all my time and working hard to prepare my future with you, I should have married you first and foremost.” He smiled sadly. “I missed you. Everyday, I missed you so much.”

I was speechless as I stared at him. And I was confused. I missed him, I knew. But I also realized that a part of me still cared for him. Was it love? I didn’t know at this very moment.

He saw my expression. “Are you happy? With him? Does he make you happy?”

“Yes.”

“Do you … love him?” His voice sounded hesitant.

“Yes.”

”Completely? Absolutely?"

More than that. He’s the reason for my existence now. “Yes.”

He sighed, looking resigned. “I guess, I should wish you the best.” He looked away, to where our table was. “Uh… Do you think that we can still be friends?”

“I guess, we can.”

“I will be here for you, if you need a friend.” He looked hopeful when he said this.

“Thanks,” I murmured. “And I wish you the best too.”

“Thanks. You can go ahead. Before he sends a search party here,” he smiled.

I smiled in return and left.

Kap and Carl politely acknowledged each other but didn’t directly talk to each other except for simple replies of yes or no. Edmund was very friendly to me. Liz was all over Kap, and did no bother to hide it, to his chagrin. The three women were silent witnesses to us.

“Do you have friends in the army that you can hook me up, unless of course you’ll take me,” she said smiling coyly.

As a response, Kap chuckled and gently squeezed my hand.

Liz was acting, I know. “Liz, you are married,” I reminded her.

“I’m separated,” she corrected me.

“Well, I heard that.” I agreed.

“You know Mikaela, we have the same taste in men,” she informed me.

Both Kap and Carl turned to her with a gleam of interest in their eyes.

“No, we don’t,” I disagreed.

She ignored me. “We both like them hard, and,” she said, with an impish grin, with her gaze on the chest of Kap.

“We like our men to wear this shirt,” her gaze fell to the embroidered logo on the shirt of Kap and shifted her gaze to Carl, down to his shirt and on the logo, “don’t we?” Then she raised her brow staring at Carl. “The only shirt that you wear. Expensive shirts.”

Carl smiled.

Kap turned to me. His brow furrowed for an instant then smoothened out just as quickly. I met his gaze before I leaned back on the chair and looked away. But I was sure that he saw the guilt in my eyes.

[jezamae]

Five: Completely, Absolutely

Kap was awfully quiet even after we left the party. He drove in silence, staring on the road ahead.

The stillness was too much for me. I turned to him. “Are you angry?”

He glanced at me briefly and stared at the road again. “No.”

“You’re very quiet.”

He didn’t look at me when he replied. “I’m thinking. I don’t know what to make of it.”

“What do you mean?”

He looked down on the logo of his shirt. “This shirt. I get this impression that you were showing me off. To your friends. To him." He murmured, "his shirt.”

“No,” I lied in a soft voice. “I just want you to look good . . . better in front of them.”

“Like … change me?” His voice was hard.

“No!” I protested. “It’s just that my friends do that when we meet up. We . . . dress up. I think that it was different with you and your army friends.”

He sighed. “I guess we still have a lot to discover from each other.”

“Meaning?" I stared at him, searching his face. "We are different aren’t we? My life is different from yours.”

He frowned and turned to me. “Different? Mikaela, listen to me. You laugh and so am I. You dream, you worry, you get scared, you feel love, you love to read. And you know I do the same things too. So we're really not that different, you and me. And I can dress up too, for your friends. Just warn me in advance.”

“I don’t want to change you,” I said as I looked down. “I like you for what you are.”

“I will continue to change as I grow older. But there is one thing, and I promise you this, that will never change. . . I will always love you.”

I stared at him, my mouth open shaped in a big O as my heart started to melt.

Suddenly his eyes gleamed, and he smiled. I knew this look; the thrill of knowing something new, of a new information. “So, this is real,” he said touching the logo of his shirt. I know this brand is expensive so I thought that it was an imitation. You know, from Hong Kong. Or Greenhills.”

His remark made me burst into hysterical giggles. “What? I don’t buy fakes.”

He grinned. “Thanks. But I want you to promise me that you won’t buy anything expensive for me again. Promise me.”

“Okay, I promise.”

“Do something for me.”

“What?”

“Lean back and close your eyes. You look tired. Rest. I’ll wake you up when we reach your home,” he ordered.

I opened my mouth to object but his expression made me concede. I also felt tired. Seeing Carl again. Having him and Kap at the same room stressed me out. Kap telling me that he would always love me and that it would never change made my heart melt. I could only take so much. A rest would be welcomed. “Okay you’re the boss.”

I did drift in and out. I opened my eyes at the same time that the car entered Fort Bonifacio.

I looked out of the window. “We’re at the camp.”

“I need to get something,” he informed me and parked the car in front of his quarters.

It was dark and I saw a few men walked in and out of the main door.

“Come with me. I have something for you,” he said with a hint of anticipation on his voice.

Something for me? I smiled and wondered, my breathing accelerated with excitement.

He grinned on my expression and reached for my hand.

We’re going to his quarters. This was off-limits since… I shook my head. But for every step that I took, I could hear my heart beat faster.

The key rattled loudly in my ears when he opened the door.

“Just take a seat,” he said and opened a drawer.

I sat on the chair with both hands on top of the table.

He was back in a second and took the seat across the small table. “I want you to keep it.”

“What is it?”

“Open it.”

I did and I was looking at a ring. It looked like a college ring but it was big. Not just big but huge. I looked at him with inquiring eyes.

“It’s a bull ring. It’s like a college ring. In PMA.”

I didn’t understand so I just looked at him.

He grinned on the look on my face. “The tank is already with you.” He caressed the ring on my finger that he gave me when he proposed. “Here’s the ring to marry you as I promised you my life.” He glanced at the ring in the box, “now, here’s the bull ring given on my last year in the PMA representing my dream to become a soldier.” Then he gently pulled my hand and rested it on his left chest.  “And here is my heart which beats only for you. My life, my dream and my love. I’m giving them all to you.”

I was quiet for a moment. I could feel his heart beat fast and loud. My throat got thick and I held back my tears. My voice croaked when I finally managed to speak. “I … wish I can give you something as special as these.”

“Mikaela, Mikalea," he said said my name repeatedly. "Didn’t you know? That the best and most beautiful things in life can’t be bought, touched or seen? A simple whisper of I love you from your lips will mean more than all these things.”

“I love you. Completely. Absolutely.” And I leaned across the small table.

I pulled his face to mine and closed my eyes. My lips touched his lightly, brushing first. He kissed me back automatically, pressing his lips to mine, and then getting more intense. It was a serious kind of kiss, intense, slow but building. I felt his hands moved up and down my back. I felt that I was slowly losing myself. And I didn’t care. I was beyond caring. I was completely and absolutely sure that I didn’t want it to end. I gripped his shoulders and hugged myself closer to him.

[recently engaged]

very nice update sis! kakakilig!

[bhabycj825]

thanks sis for the update. another chapter of kilig and excitement..looking forward for the next kilig updates..

[jezamae]

Five: Completely, Absolutely

Suddenly he froze.

A faint, timid rap on the door echoed in the room.

My eyes flashed open and stared at Kap’s intense brown eyes, now wide open.

He pulled up and cocked his head to his side. His eyes narrowed as he listened.

The soft knocking on the door grew louder.

“Someone’s at the door,” he whispered and I felt his cool breath against my face.

“Yes,” I whispered back.

He pulled my face to him and kissed me briefly before he reluctantly released me. “I’ll check the door,” he said as he swiftly appraised me, nodded with an approving gaze and crossed the room.

I watched him as he opened the door.

The familiar friendly giant came in, smiling. But the smile in his face was replaced by a look of surprise the instant he saw me. He stopped on the doorway and glanced at Kap. “You are not alone.” He smiled and stared at me with bold curiosity. “Hi Mikaela. You remember me don’t you? What are you doing here?”

I felt my cheeks turned red in embarrassment but I managed to say, ‘hi.” I remembered him. The smiling friendly giant. Captain Carranza.

“She’s with me,” Kap responded curtly.

“I’ll come back later when you are finished, I mean, when you are free,” he stammered, grinning now.

Kap muttered, “Carranza, you are embarrassing her.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Carranza said and slowly appraised me.

What was he doing? He seemed to be searching for something and I was worried. But I was sure that I looked decent. A little flushed with the intoxicating effect of Kap’s kisses but other than that, definitely decent.

Kap moved to stand in between Carranza and me, effectively hiding me from Carranza’s curious scrutiny and then muttered,  “I don’t owe you an explanation since it’s none of your business but I will say it nonetheless. We’re here to pick up something and we’re leaving now. So don’t torture yourself with unpleasant ideas about me and Mikaela being in this room. She doesn’t deserve that kind of thoughts. So what do you want?”

“Whoa! Hey, I wasn’t thinking of . . . Anyway, can I borrow your motorcycle?”

Kap shove his hand to his pocket, tossed a key to Captain Carranza and opened the door.

Captain Carranza leaned on the side to see me and grinned. “Nice seeing you again Mikaela. Bye.”

Still embarrassed, my voice sounded inaudible even in my own ears. “Bye too.”

Kap faced me and shook his head slightly. “I’m sorry about that. Where were we before he came in?”

Where were we before Carranza came in? I was all over you. My cheeks flushed in embarrassment and I couldn’t look at him.

“The ring,” he said softly, “I gave it to you.”

“Yes,” I whispered and waited for him to continue. Then I remembered. Where’s the ring?

He seemed to have read my mind as he put the small box down on the table. The box of his bull ring.

I was reaching for it when he asked. “Are you ready?”

“Ready?” My head shot up and my hand stopped in the middle of the table. I stared at him and felt anticipation built up instantly. He would be the first to kiss this time, wouldn’t he?

He gazed at me and he appeared that he would laugh but he didn’t as he asked flatly, “Are you ready to leave? It’s quite late.”

Now, this was really embarrassing. Had he seen my thoughts in my eyes? “Yes. I am. Ready.”

He said, “let’s go,” smiled and mumbled, “for your own sake.”

I turned to him with raised eyebrow. I didn’t understand.

“For your own sake, we have to leave now,” he repeated and released a long breath.

My legs seemed to be made of jelly as we walked to his car and I was grateful of his hand that gently but firmly held mine. His quiet strength was like a needed force that supported every step that I took going to his car. And he held my hand whenever he can while he was driving.

 Both his hands were on the wheel when I finally had the courage to ask him. “Tres?”

“Yes?”

“Captain Carranza, the way he looked at me, he seemed to think that . . . we . . .  in your room . . .  he . . .  um . . . ” I paused, too embarrassed to say it.

He understood my incomplete sentence and he smiled apologetically. “It’s an open secret. Some of us do that. They bring their girlfriends or other women with them in their rooms and they …” he broke off mid-sentence.

“Did you?” I blurted out.

“No.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t think it’s right. Using the officer’s quarters. There are other places to do that,” he murmured.

“Of course,” I mumbled. What did he mean? That as long as it’s not in the officer’s quarters? But then, if ever, they happened before he met me . . .  or not. Should I ask him? I turned to him and saw him staring at me. And there was what looked like longing in his eyes. “What is it?”

He grinned. “You had the look again.”

“Look? What look?” Again?

“The pensive look. That was what attracted me to you, the first time I saw you. Strange. Did I tell you that?”

“No. I don’t think so. But I have a question about it.”

He was quiet as he waited.

“Why would a man, and someone as great as you, got attracted to a simple woman with a gloomy expression? Shouldn’t it be someone like a miss sunshine or miss charming that should catch your attention?”

He looked thoughtful. “I honestly don’t know. I thought of the same question myself for a hundred times and I still haven’t come up with an answer. But it doesn’t matter.” He smiled and his voice was soft when he spoke again. “And you are wrong. I’m not as great as you think. And you are not simple as you see yourself. You are special. Very special.”

The way he said it made me believe him. I was special. Because of him. He made me feel that I’m special when we were together. Always. I smiled back.

[jezamae]

Six : Always

As always, his focus was on the road when he drove, especially now that I was with him. It was fine with me, but not today. Because I wanted his attention. I was excited and was also anxious. This must be what the cat felt on a hot tin roof; teetering. I was teetering and it was getting stronger as we came closer to our destination.

We were on our way to the Officer’s Club of Fort Bonifacio. His get together party with his classmates. His mistah and their wives and girlfriends. My first time with them. My chance to step in his world, his life. And I have this fervent wish to be accepted. Kap’s words were imprinted on my mind.

The army is my life. My friends are in the army. We are more than brothers. Brothers don’t spend every second of their life with each other, 24/7, like we did. And the wives, they are our extension. They support each other. Who else understand their lives other than their husband’s mistah’s wives? The army wives. Which I would be. Soon.

I examined my face on the mirror of my compact powder. I wish I were prettier. I sighed.

Perhaps he heard me because he turned and looked at me with inquiring eyes but he didn’t speak.

I smiled a little and searched for his eyes before I spoke because I wanted to know the truth. “How do I look?”

Kap stared at me, very tenderly and replied in a soft voice. “You looked like the woman I’m going to marry.” He reached for my hand, swiftly kissed it, released it and focused his attention on his driving again.

It took him not more than five seconds. Five seconds that made my heart stopped beating, making me fall in love with him more now than five seconds ago. I wondered when it would stop. Me, falling in love with him every day, every time he did something I didn’t expect. It should stop; otherwise, one day I would burst. Due to love overdose. I almost laugh on this thought.

I turned to him, still smiling, at the same time that the car slowed down when he took a smooth right turn.

“This is the Officers Club,” he announced as he finally stopped the car and got out to open the passenger door.

I glanced up and looked out of the window. My gaze stopped on a couple of men and women near the main door. They looked like couples. Pairs. The men were tall like Kap and some of them were even taller than Kap.  The women were tall too. The shortest one that my eyes could see was at least five inches taller than me. What I saw made my heart sunk as I wondered. Was height a requirement to be an army wife? If it were, then I would definitely fail because it’s something that I couldn’t fix unless the bones in my legs miraculously grow. In my twenty four years, I was happy being five feet tall. Petite and cute, I call myself.  I was never conscious of my height until now. I hate to admit it, but I felt very insecure. When Kap opened the door, my confidence flew out of it ahead of me as I groaned.

Would he now see the difference? Would he see me as Mikaela, the pensive woman that caught his attention? Or would he see me as the little woman in the midst of the giants? Because that’s what I saw in the eyes of two men and three women who all turned to us and stared at me. Eyebrows raised, they seemed to guess how tall, or rather how short, I was. And I would have gone back to the car if not for the firm grip of Kap’s gentle hand on my elbow.

“Are you all right?” Kap inquired, concern was on his voice.

“I have to ask this. Now,” I whispered softly but firmly as he waited. “You,” I began and sneaked a glance on the men on the doorway, “and them, do you require your women to be tall?”

There was brief moment of silence, as he appeared not to understand me. “What?”

“They are all tall,” I glanced at the women as I commented in a low voice.

His eyes gleamed for a moment before he chuckled. “Mikaela, you never fail to amaze me. I don’t know about them. On what they prefer.  But as for me, you know my answer to that.” He gave me a teasing smile.

I tried to smile back. “That you prefer little women?”

It made him laugh and his laughter grabbed the attention of the surprised men and women on the doorway. They all looked puzzled but they grinned as they watched us.

“I don’t prefer little women,” he said in a low voice.

"Oh." My heart sunk on what he said and I didn’t notice that he pulled me closer to him.

“I only prefer you,” he whispered in my ear.

My heart somersaulted.

[jezamae]

thanks for the update sis!
looking forward for more..

hi sis. hope you enjoy reading the updates

 

[jezamae]

very nice update sis! kakakilig!

sis, eto na . . .uli . . . 

[jezamae]

thanks sis for the update. another chapter of kilig and excitement..looking forward for the next kilig updates..

sis, latest installment for your enjoyment