A Life To Live, A Life To Give (Book Two)

[jezamae]

Two: I, Me, and Myself

Juliet caught the glance and stared at me and at Mom. She glanced at my plate and exclaimed, “Let’s go to your room. I want to hear the details. Gosh! Everything!”

Juliet looked and sounded very excited and didn’t wait for my reply. She held my hand and pulled me. Her cheerful response to Kap’s marriage proposal lifted my mood.

“There’s really nothing to tell. He simply asked me to marry him at the Marian chapel yesterday.” I sat down on my bed.

Juliet held the hand where the ring was and shrieked. “But that was very romantic. Imagine! The Virgin Mary as witness?”

“Ummm, I guess.” I put up with my friend’s scrutiny of the ring. And somehow I felt thrilled. Kap’s ring on my finger.

Juliet released my hand and asked, “so, are you going to tell me?”

I met her probing eyes and replied, “I just told you that it was a simple…”

“No. No. I don’t mean that. You see, I expected you to jump with joy. But you aren’t. Why?”

Twenty years of friendship made Juliet an expert on knowing my actions. “They all think that it’s too soon.”

“They, meaning your Mom and Dad?”

I nodded and added, “and Gabe and Rafa.”

“Too soon? Because you’ve been with him for a few months.” She looked thoughtful.

“A month actually. Officially.”

“Oh. Does it matter?”

“To me, no.”

“Meg Ryan fell in love with Tom Hanks before she met him.”

You’ve Got Mail. “It’s just a movie, Juliet.”

“But movies are based on real stories. Real emotions.” She looked at me and asked, “You really love him, don’t you?”

I sighed. “Yes. And I also love my family.”

“Ummm,” she said. “Ummm,” she repeated.

“I actually thought of something. It’s a little ridiculous but...” my voice trailed off.

“Try me.” Her voice was encouraging.

I told Juliet as she patiently listened.

I looked at her with uncertain eyes. “So, what do you think?”

Her eyes glittered with excitement when she spoke. “Let’s do it. I’ll help you.”

For two hours, we worked in front of the Apple Mcbook. The Mcbook was a gift from the man I left to be with Kap.

Kap was waiting for me when I came down. I left the office a little bit late since Monday was a busy day in our department.

He looked amused again as I sat on the passenger seat. I wondered why he always looked like this every time he opened the passenger door for me. I should ask him sometime.

He handed me some documents as he started the car. “Here. I went to school during lunch and did this. We only have to pay today and then we are officially enrolled.”

I was both surprised and delighted. We didn’t have to fall in line anymore to enroll. He always took care of things for me. For us. It was his last trimester while I still have two trimesters left. I glanced at the documents and said, “thanks.”

“You are welcome.” He smiled his Josh Hartnett smile.

I pulled out some sheets from my bag. “I have something for you too.” I handed her five pages of pink paper. “Here. Read these.”

He took it and glanced at them. The darkness inside the car made it difficult to read so he put them in front of him, on the windshield. “What is it?”

“It’s about me.”

He raised his brow but didn’t speak.

“It’s everything about me. Since childhood. My kindergarten school. My favorite movie, book, color and more. What I am afraid of. What I don't like.”

He looked at me with inquiring eyes, still not speaking.

“For you to know me well,” I said as I started to feel uncomfortable with his gaze.

“I see. Thanks,” he muttered and moved his gaze to look at the road ahead. He was quiet and then he grinned.

It puzzled me. “What?”

“Do you think that I need this?” His Josh Hartnett eyes crinkled with amusement.

“Well, we have to know each other. Everyone said so.”

He shook his head and controlled himself from laughing. “It doesn’t matter to me. Mikaela.” He turned serious. “I love you for what you are, what you were and what you will be. Nothing’s going to change that. And I am going to marry you. Not a bundle of information that you wrote about yourself will change that.” His brown eyes smoldered as he stared at me.

[jezamae]

happy new year din! wala pa bang continuation? 

ito na sis ang continuation 

[jezamae]

Two: I, Me, and Myself

I was humbled. “I’m sorry. My family…I mean…”

He interrupted me. “Hey, you don’t have to apologize. I understand.”

 â€œI’m really sorry.”

“It’s all right. I have a question though.”

“What is it?” I asked warily.

“Do you also want me to write about myself?” He looked serious. “I will do that if that’s what you really want.”

I was sure that it was not what he wanted but he would do it for me. I promise to make you happy. And he was doing it now. He would do everything to make me happy. But I only wanted him to love me, nothing more.

“No. But,” I hesitated as I met his gaze.

“But…?” he implored me to continue.

“Ummm. Can I ask? I mean, facts about you? Anything?” I asked and hoped for his positive reaction.

He grinned. “I will make it easy for you. I will tell you about me. And if it’s not enough, you can ask what you still want to know. Will that make you happy?” He looked amused.

He took it lightly. I heaved a sigh of relief. “Yes. So how do we start?”

He chuckled. “Do we have to do it now? Are we in a hurry?”

Yes. Six months is a long time for me to wait. “Well,” I bit my lower lip as I asked, “tomorrow?”

It made him laugh. “Mikaela. How can someone as small as you be this fascinating?”

Fascinating? Was I? “What do you mean?”

“Your honesty still surprised me.”

“Speaking without thinking?” I murmured. That was how he described me in the early days of our friendship.

His eyes still crinkled with amusement when he spoke. “Let’s see. What do you know about me? What have I told you so far?”

I gave him an empty look. At that very moment, we both realized that I, the woman who agreed to marry him, knew nothing about him aside from his name, his military rank, his age, his hometown and the existence of his sister Anne. Dad, Mom and Rafaella were right. I hardly knew the man I loved and wanted to marry.

[jezamae]

Two: I, Me, and Myself

I stared at him. My brain screamed, I hardly knew him. My heart quietly whispered, I loved him and I wanted to marry him. Only him and no one else. The quiet whisper won.

I spoke softly. “Your friends call you Tres. You grew up in Cebu and I met your cheerful sister named Anne.”

He smirked when I mentioned her sister. In my first meeting with Anne, she said a mouthful about Kap, to his dismay.

I continued. “You are a true gentleman.”

He raised his brow so I added, “Well, you always open the door for me. Like in the car.”

He looked thoughtful and then he nodded. I wondered what was on his mind.

“You like Japanese raw food. And pasta. And fastfood. And vegetables and fruits.” I paused as I considered, “Ummm. You like everything.”

He interrupted me. “I have to correct that. It’s not that I like everything. It’s more of that I eat anything. If you’ve been in a mountain with no civilization for months, you don’t get to be choosy. Anything that looked edible will do.”

“Really?” I asked.

“Really,” he responded and waited for me to continue.

“But you have excellent table manners. The right kind of utensils in all types of food and the right way to use them.” I said looking impressed as he taught me the best way to eat mango in a restaurant at The Fort.

His eyes crinkled in amusement on my expression. “Part of our training.”

“They taught you that in the PMA? Fine dining? I mean etiquette and all?” I asked incredulously.

“Among other things, yes.”

“Wow!” I exclaimed. I thought of Emily Post.

He shrugged and implored me to go on.

“You don’t speak much.”

“I speak if I have to,” he justified himself

“And only when you are asked to,” I added.  “You like to read.”

“We both do,” he commented dryly.

“Yes,” I agreed. “You are also well-informed. You always have something to say. You talk about global economics, on what’s happening in the U.S. politics, new gadgets and technology, top selling books, and even the latest Hollywood movie releases. And of course, everything about the Philippines. ”

“As you said, I like to read.”

“Except for Philippine entertainment news.” I grinned. “You like to play tennis and golf. But not basketball.”

“There’s a golf course in Camp Aguinaldo. We play for free. I watch NBA games on television.”

“I see.” I nodded. “You are good in directions. Unlike me.” I laughed a little. I was good at getting lost. As my older brother Nathaniel said, I have a sense of misdirection. Kap heard it during my birthday.

He laughed too as he remembered. “We have map reading class.”

“You do? I should attend that class,” I told him.

“I wont let you lose your way. I will always be here for you,” he said flatly and announced, “We are here.”

I looked past him and saw that he was about to park behind our school.

“We will continue this,” I told him.

“Ummm,” he murmured and held my hand as we walked together.

I glanced at our intertwined hands. How warm his hand was. How wonderful that it was holding mine. Lucky, lucky me.

[recently engaged]

grabe sis!!!
ang ganda ng story mo. i just finished book one in one seating, and i cried...a lot!
galing galing!
i can't wait for the next installment.

[jezamae]

grabe sis!!!
ang ganda ng story mo. i just finished book one in one seating, and i cried...a lot!
galing galing!
i can't wait for the next installment.

thanks sis

try to read chapter three:a broken vow of the officer:before book one

kasi me relevance yan sa next installment of book two, chapter three:gently, tenderly

btw, recently engaged ka ba talaga? if you are, congrats 

[recently engaged]

naku sis, married na ako matagal na.
i joined GT nung kaka-engage ko pa lang, thus the GT nick! hehe.
so more than 3 years ago na yun.
di ko na mabago yung GT nick ko.

andito ako sa sydney, dito na ko nakatira. grabe, hanggang dito ramdam na ramdam ko ang emotions habang binabasa ko ang mga stories dito sa cafe erato.

keep up the good work!

[sierracielo09]

wala pa bang kasunod? hehe..i copied it sa notepad,,and finished reading in two days with my boss unmindful at my hehe
wala kaseng gngwa [textspeak!] sa office..
the story is very interesting,,very real yung emotions that i myself smile,, kinikilig,,nasasaktan,,and everything..
hayy,, gusto ko din magsulat ng gnitong stories..kaya lang tinatamad ako,,hehe
good luck sis jezamae
i hope to see the continuation soon..

[jezamae]

Three : Gently, Tenderly

“It can be addressed.” His forehead creased as he read the second page of the five-page pink list of information that I gave him.

I smiled, glad that he was reading the list.

“Which one?” I inquired and peeked at the list. My voice was low since we were at the library. Although we were classmates in just one subject, we were together before and after each class, until the last minute before classes began.  Today, I was on my getting to know each other well list and he patiently played along.

He read it. “Can not drive.”

I grinned and looked at Kap. He was just like my twin brother. I recalled how Gabriel insisted and complained.

“Learn to drive, Mikaela.”

“Sure Gabe, next month.”

“I heard that for the past four years, sis.”

“I promise twin brother, I will. Next month.”

The voice of Kap pulled me from my recollection. He pointed to another item on the list. “And this one.” 

I looked at the pink paper and read softly. “Can not swim.” My grin grew wider.

“You have to learn this,” he urged.

“Why?”

“Because swimming is a basic for survival,” he explained patiently.

“Survival for what?” I asked, puzzled.

He stared at me and replied, “for life.” I thought that I glimpsed what looked like grief for a brief moment in his eyes.

“I see.” No, I didn’t but I nodded to make it appear that I understood. But I couldn’t deceive his perceptive eyes.

“You will never know when you need it. It may even save your life.”

“I have no immediate plans to be in a ship or go to high seas,” I informed him with total confidence.

“With the drainage system here, all it needs is a heavy rain and you have to swim,” he retorted tensely.

The tone of his voice alerted me. Why was swimming this important to him? “Would that please you? If I can swim? ” I hesitated before I declared in a soft voice, “this is important to you.”

“Yes.” He was looking straight ahead as he responded. He seemed lost in thought.

I wondered but I didn’t press. “Okay, I will try to learn.”

Kap nodded, but his eyes were still intense as he said, “I’ll take care of that.”

He was doing it again. The man from Mars. Taking care of things for me. “You will teach me?”

“No.”

“Oh.” I was disappointed.

He leaned closer. “I’ll arrange for your training at the camp. We have an olympic size pool and the training is free. For families of military personnel.”

“I’m family?” I didn’t hide the pleasure in my voice. I’m family. Kap’s family.

He grinned at my expression and I was relieved. The tension in his eyes was gone as he whispered, “You will be.”

Yes. I will be. Soon. “Will you be there? During swimming lessons?”

“I’ll make arrangements on that too.”

The man from Mars again. Just sit tight and I’ll handle everything. “Okay. So, when?”

He chuckled. “You never fail to amaze me Mikaela.”

I smiled.

“I’ll check. But probably next week?”

“That would be fine.”

The bell rung. Time to go to class.

We walked out with him holding my hand. Gently, as always. Like he treasured me. And he was. The times that we kissed, a few times actually, he asked permission first before he kissed me. And I loved it. Him, asking permission before the tender kisses. I felt cherished.

[jezamae]

Three : Gently, Tenderly

I also cherished every moment that we spent with each other. And my parents complained about it.

“We need to be together. To know each other well,” I justified.

“You are with him everyday. You don’t have time for other things anymore,” my dad complained.

Kap was my everything. “But you are the one who told me to know him well. And we are doing that now. Everyday,” I argued.

My father grunted but he eventually accepted it. He knew that I wouldn’t compromise. And I was glad that he still liked Kap, like Mom was.

“Kap,” Mom beamed.

I interrupted her before she offered the cake. Again. “We are leaving, Mom. First day of my swimming lessons,” I reminded her.

“That’s today?” She asked.

“Yup. And we should go now. Bye,” I said as I quickly kissed her cheek and pulled Kap who was standing at the doorway. I didn’t give him the chance to come in.

Kap looked amused as he waved his hand to Mom.

“You are in a hurry,” he commented as he put on my seatbelt.

“I should start early. I can’t stay under the sun for a long time.”

“I understand.” He knew that too much sun gave me headache.

“You will be trained by Corporal Ayo. He is a nice man.” His voice was reassuring.

Swimming was training? I thought it's sports. “You will be with me, won’t you?”

“I will stay for a few minutes and I’ll go to the gym. That’s beside the pool. I’ll play badminton while waiting for you and I will be back in less than an hour.”

“Oh.”

“Would you prefer me to stay during your training?”

I was being selfish. I forced a smile. “No, you can go.”

“Are you sure?” He continued to gaze with probing intensity into my eyes

”Yes.” I assured him and warned, “Just be back after the game.”

He grinned. “I will. I promise.”

“Count to ten, ma’am. Again.” The corporal instructed as I bobbed my head. Kap was right. The corporal was a nice guy and courteous. He was also bald and fatherly.

Breathe in, hold it, go underwater, release the air through my nose and I watch the bubbles it created, and go up. Count one.

Do it again. Count two.

Do it for ten times.

It was easy. And I enjoyed it.

On the tenth count, I stopped and glanced at the corporal.

“Let’s do it again, ma’am.”

I grimaced. “Can I rest? Five minutes?”

He nodded and swam away from me.

I stood on the pool. The water reached my chest. I read the sign, four feet. I surveyed the pool. In the middle, the sign read, five feet. At the other end of the pool, the sign read six feet. That meant I could only stay at this part of the pool. There were five other people in the pool but I was the only student, learning to swim. I was glad that I was allowed to wear shorts over my blue swimsuit.

The corporal came back. “Ma’am? Can we start now?”

“Okay,” I replied and went underwater. I did it for ten times. When I surfaced, I faced him.

He looked satisfied. “Let’s try the next lesson.”

I agreed and hoped that the next lesson would be as easy.

“This is how to do it.” He floated on the water, swam slowly away from me while turning his head to the left and to the right and moved his arms alternately upward.

Uh. Uh. That was difficult. I stared as the corporal swam back to where I stood.

“Let’s try it,” he said and laughed quietly when he saw the expression on my face.

I knew what he saw because I felt it too. I looked and I felt unsure. I was not sure if I could do it right and not embarrass myself in front of the other swimmers. I was not sure that I could float and I was almost certain that I would go down the moment I start to try as what the corporal did.

“Uh, uh,” I groaned softly as I began to regret why I agreed for this swimming lesson. But Kap’s tense expression forced me to agree. Again, I wondered why. Did he witness someone drown? I didn’t think so. Knowing Kap, he would save that someone or anyone before he drowned. All soldiers knew how to swim, I was sure.

“Ma’am?”

I turned to the corporal who was watching me. “Sorry. Let’s do it.”

The corporal carefully held my hand and gestured the right way to do it. He guided my hand, slowly. And then my head, Turn right, turn left. Upward, down.

“Ma’am. I will stand there and you try to swim to me.” He swam away and stood three yards away.

I did what he taught me and found myself standing in front of him.

“I did it!” I exclaimed catching my breath.

“Yes. You did it!” A familiar low, clear voice, the one that I heard even in my dreams, echoed what I said.

I turned around to see Kap standing at the end of the pool. He was watching me.

“You are here,” I said and looked at him.

He held a badminton racket and a towel. He wore rubber shoes. He was in a white shirt and green shorts revealing legs that were tanned and strong. I realized that I was appraising him, as I haven’t seen him like this. He was in his jeans earlier, as always when we were together.

“The game ended early,” he responded and announced, “I’ll join you but I’ll take a shower first.”

He put down his things on the chair next to where my bag was, sat down and took off his shoes. I watched him.

He saw me watching him. He smiled. I smiled back.

He rose and shrugged out of his shirt.

And I gasped and stared.

[LeeQuid]

^ why sis? nabighani ba si mikaela sa katawan ni kap? lol.. 

[jezamae]

Three : Gently, Tenderly

Not on his face but below it. On his chest and lower.

This I didn’t expect. This I liked to see.

Kap was well built. His body was well developed. Just like the advertising billboard of Piolo Pascual in Edsa. Specifically, the body of Piolo Pascual. Kap had the same body. This was what was hidden in his usual plain white shirt. I stared at him with unblinking eyes.

He turned to me and his forehead creased with concern. “Are you all right?”

I was embarrassed as I stuttered. “Yes. Just surprised…I mean tired… from swimming.”

“Do you want to rest, ma’am?”

What? I turned to the voice. The corporal. I completely forgot him.

Kap replied on my behalf. “Ayo, I’ll handle her now. Thanks.”

“Yes, sir.” The corporal gave me a smile and swam away.

Kap turned his attention to me. “I’ll take a shower. Just wait.” He walked away.

I watched his retreating steps. He was not only good-looking. He had an almost perfect body as well. The face of Josh Hartnett and the body of Piolo Pascual. How could someone like him wanted me for real? What did he see in me? I felt insignificant and something else, which was stronger. Feather-soft tingling tickles inside me. I may be innocent but I was not naïve. I reprimanded myself. Behave Mikaela and be good.

Kap was back immediately. He jumped in and stood beside me. The water was just above his waist.

“You learn fast. That’s good.” He was smiling. He appeared satisfied that I was seriously taking his advice. Or command.

I smiled back. “It was difficult but I am learning.”

I watched the water danced just below his chest. There were a few strands of hair on his chest and I felt the urge to touch them.

His voice startled me. “Corporal Ayo is an excellent swimming trainer. He’s coaching swimming teams of high school students.”

“He is?” I asked and forced my gaze to look up to him.

Kap has moved closer now, almost touching me. I felt the feather-soft tingling tickles again.

“Yes.” His eyes glinted with expressed amusement as he held my hand and pulled me playfully. “C’mon. Let’s enjoy the water.”

He swam. I watched. He was a good swimmer. He didn’t go far away from me. He circled where I stood. He was content in the shallow water as I splashed him with it.

He was enjoying. Being in the water. I was enjoying too. Being with him.

“Shower? Now?” he repeated his question when I didn’t respond.

It was hard to respond, or even think, seeing him gliding in the pool. I managed to mumble,“okay.”

He went up first, reached out for me and pulled me from the pool effortlessly.

I giggled. He was strong. I felt like I weighed as light as a bag of cotton.

He looked at me with inquiring eyes as he put a towel around my shoulder. “Here.

“Thanks.” I pulled the towel tightly. The air was cool on my wet skin.

He smiled and pulled my left hand. He held it as we walked together going to the shower room.

“Let’s go to the quarters afterwards. I left my clothes in my room,” he announced as he stood on the doorway of the women’s shower room.

Three women ogled at him admiringly when he turned his back to go to the men’s shower room and then they glanced at me. I felt conscious. And also proud. I was with this good-looking man with a well-built body. This man loved me. And would marry me. Soon.

He was still in a light mood when I saw him waiting for me from the shower room. Smiling and looking happy. I liked to see him this way. He used to have the impassive look on his face.

“Did you wait for long?” I asked and involuntarily appraised him again. He was in plain white shirt and in shorts again, a dry one, with four big letters printed on the left side. I read it. A R M Y.

He saw my gaze. “We wear this for morning runs.”

“Uniform?”

“Yes.” He looked amused. He had the smile on his face when he replied, when he drove and when we reached his quarters.

“My roommate is in Fort Magsaysay and will be back next week,” he explained as he opened the door. He stepped aside to let me pass.

I walked in and  I heard his footsteps behind me. He stopped beside the chair.

He said, “here, take a seat while I change,” and he pulled the chair.

“Okay,” I murmured but I didn’t sit down.

I surveyed the room. His quarters was relatively small. Two beds with pillows and blankets, a small table, a chair, a twenty one inch television, a radio, another table full of books, two large glass windows and a door leading to a bathroom. The room was air-conditioned. The four corners of the wall were painted white and the room was neat and orderly. A navy blue shirt and faded blue jeans were on top of one of the beds.

He reached for the jeans on the bed and went to the bathroom. But he stopped two steps from the bathroom, turned to me and grinned. “I’ll close the door.”

I grumbled, “duh” and rolled my eyes. I was still standing.

He chuckled and left a small opening as he closed the door of the bathroom. “When’s your next training?” he called out.

I could see the light from the bathroom but I couldn’t see him.

“It’s a swimming lesson, not a training,” I corrected him and saw a magazine on the bed. I sat on the bed. Entrepreneur. This was the same magazine that I saw in his car last week.

 He laughed. “When is your next swimming lesson?”

“I don’t know. The corporal didn’t say when.” I looked up as he stepped out of the bathroom.

“I’ll talk to him. I’m thinking if we can schedule a weekday. Tuesday or Wednesday. After work.” He shrugged out of his white shirt and he reached for his navy blue shirt on the bed.

He was serious. For me to learn to swim. And I was very curious. “You are serious with this, aren’t you? Did something happen? Did someone drown?” I blurted out before I realized I did it again. Speaking without thinking.

He flinched and his hand holding the blue shirt paused. The smile on his face was gone. The mood had changed. From light to tight.

“Tres? I’m sorry.” I started to rise but he faced me. He looked tensed.

“Yes. Something happened.” He sat down beside me, still holding the blue shirt. He seemed to have forgotten that he was shirtless. But I was very conscious of it. Of him.

I opened my mouth to speak but he shushed me.

“I haven’t talked…about it. I don’t want to talk about it, but,” he paused and stared at me, “I will tell you.”

He took a deep breath before he spoke. “When I was a second lieutenant, I lost a man. He was my first casualty. The first soldier, the first person… my responsibility… who died. Not in the hands of the enemy. Not because of a bullet… but a river. He drowned Mikaela. Because he couldn’t swim.”

I was shocked on what I heard. I stared at him, speechless.

“How meaningless his death could be?” The tone of his voice changed. There was a hint of frustration now. “Because he couldn’t swim, I failed to keep him alive. It was stupid. And it wouldn’t happen again. I won’t allow it.” He closed his eyes tightly but the pain in his voice was enough to express his anguish.

I felt it. His pain. And I wanted to comfort him. I reached for his face. “Tres,” I whispered. “I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what I was apologizing for but I repeated, “I’m sorry,” and softly caressed his cheek.

He opened his eyes and held my hand on his face. I stared at him and bit my lower lip. He saw it. The expression in his eyes changed. It became intense.

“Mikaela, may I kiss you? Now?” he whispered.

What? Kiss? “Yes. Yes,” I whispered too and raised my face. I closed my eyes and waited.

He pulled me to him. I felt it. Soft and feather-like. His lips over mine. The kiss was sweet and tender. The embrace was gentle. But something was different. I could feel him more now than before.  Because he had no shirt on. Right now. His kiss changed; the tender kiss became passionate. The gentle embrace became tense. And I liked it. I responded with the same intensity and wrapped my arms around his neck. I felt the feather-soft tingling tickles inside me again. Then I heard him.

“Mikaela, Mikaela.” He whispered my name very softly, almost inaudible.

I didn’t reply. I couldn’t reply.

“Sweet Jesus,” he groaned. “Mikaela. You have to help me.”

[jezamae]

Three : Gently, Tenderly

“What?”

He gently pulled away and rested his check on my neck. I could feel his soft breath on my ear. “You have to help me.”

Help on what? I didn’t understand. “What?”

“You have to help me stop. Or, sweet Jesus, I might do something I will regret,” he released a long hiss and muttered ruefully, “I’m not a saint.”

Saint? I understood. “Oh. How…?” I tried to wiggle out but his hold tightened.

“Just don’t move. I need to calm down.” I could hear his labored breathing as he still held me. He turned and faced me. His face was so close, almost touching mine.

“O…kay.” I didn’t move and stared at him with round and confused but expectant eyes.

“And don’t stare at me like that. It’s not helping.”    

“Oh.” I looked away and held my breath. I could still feel the warmth of his skin.

“And breathe. I wouldn’t want you to collapse for lack of air.”

I nodded and I tried to block the image of him without his shirt on.

Forget Piolo Pascual. Forget Josh Hartnett. Think of someone else. Jim Carrey making faces, Johnny Depp dressed as a pirate, Ralph Fiennes as Lord Voldemort. Anyone but Kap. Kap and the warmth of his almost perfect shirtless body.

It wasn’t working. I need to think of someone else. But who? I couldn’t think. I only felt. Kap holding me. I felt him move. And I held my breath.

“I’m sorry,” Kap whispered and slowly pulled himself away from me. “I shouldn’t have allowed it to happen. Bringing you in here was a mistake.” He looked remorseful as he stared at me.

I stared back, still speechless. Was I supposed to speak? What would I say? That I liked it?

“Mikaela?”

“Uh?”

“I’m really sorry.”

“O…kay,” I mumbled.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he murmured.

“O…kay.” I blinked and opened my eyes. And stared at him again.

He let out a long hiss and announced, “I need to do this.” He cupped my face. “I am more in control of myself now, I promise.” His head descended and he kissed me, gently and tenderly, very swiftly. Then he raised his head and gazed at me.

“I love you Mikaela. Too much that you make me lose control, and I promise not too. Not yet, anyway,” he said and his intense eyes appeared to change its color, from brown to black.

I was mesmerized and just stared at him.

“I won’t betray your trust. And your parents’.” He seemed to hesitate and he stood up swiftly. With the sudden movement, his blue shirt, that was on his lap, fell to the floor. He bent down to pick it up. I watched. With his back on me, he pulled the shirt over his head.

Did his hand slightly tremble? I was not sure.

He turned around and faced me. “Where do you want to eat?”

Eat? “What?”

He glanced on his watch. “It’s time for lunch.”

“Lunch,” I mumbled.

He leaned forward and pulled me up. “Let’s go. I’ll feed you.”

“Okay.”

We stepped out of his quarters side by side. He didn’t hold my hand this time.

He pointed to the door next to his. “A lower class, Both of them.” He pointed to the door across his. “Upper class. A major.”

“I see,” I commented and studied him.

He looked composed. As if nothing happened. But I heard him confess. You make me lose control. The thought that I made him lose control of himself made me smile.

He saw it, me smiling and looking at him.

He reached for my right hand, held it and raised his brow, “Yes?”

“Nothing,”I replied, still smiling.

He shrugged but he squeezed my hand, very gently. I squeezed back.

I heard him laugh. I turned to him and met his gaze. He was looking at me very tenderly. My heart somersaulted before it melted.

[jezamae]

naku sis, married na ako matagal na.
i joined GT nung kaka-engage ko pa lang, thus the GT nick! hehe.
so more than 3 years ago na yun.
di ko na mabago yung GT nick ko.

andito ako sa sydney, dito na ko nakatira. grabe, hanggang dito ramdam na ramdam ko ang emotions habang binabasa ko ang mga stories dito sa cafe erato.

keep up the good work!



ganun ba sis? goodluck then 

thanks

[jezamae]

wala pa bang kasunod? hehe..i copied it sa notepad,,and finished reading in two days with my boss unmindful at my hehe
wala kaseng gngwa [textspeak!] sa office..
the story is very interesting,,very real yung emotions that i myself smile,, kinikilig,,nasasaktan,,and everything..
hayy,, gusto ko din magsulat ng gnitong stories..kaya lang tinatamad ako,,hehe
good luck sis jezamae
i hope to see the continuation soon..

ayan sis, as requested, posted na ang kasunod

hala, baka makita ni boss yan. baka di ka bigyan ng pay increase this year 

i am looking forward to read your story here 

[jezamae]

regarding the sodlier who drowned, this incident was told in chapter three of the officer: before book one

 

[bhabycj825]

hi sis jezamae kilig to the bones na naman ako sa installment mo. i miss my boyfie tuloy..para kong t**** sa harap ng computer, tumatawa at kinikilig hahaha..can't wait for the next update..everyday chinecheck ko kung may update na ang story mo..pa post na ng kasunod pls..... abuso daw ..your story keeps the love alive ..sarap talaga ma inlove. hay kap..my kap..haha, agawan pa daw si mikaela. 

[recently engaged]

thanks for the update sis!
kelan ang next update?

[cayrin]

nice story sis.......kiligness

[bhabycj825]

sis jezamae wala pa bang update?