CHINESE WEDDING

[meixin]

Oh no... Pero important ba sa inyo na masunod yun? Or you don't mind naman? Kung overly sensitive sila baka sumama nga ang loob pag binawi nyo.. may common friend ba kayo? maybe may friend kayo na kayang tumulong na parang makkwento tipo sa kanila na "uy di ba pag ganito hindi ka pwede pumunta sa kasal? malas or something" then at least di nanggaling sa inyo

[stella021817]

^^ I agree with meixin. Try her approach and see if your common friends can tell them subtly that it's not allowed hehe. If that doesn't work though, I don't think you can uninvite them either. 

Maybe you can try to research things they can do to counter it? Like my pregnant friend tied a red ribbon around her belly during the last wedding we went to (though I think this is more for HER than for the couple that got married). Or maybe you could ask them to attend the reception and not the actual ceremony?

[corpse_bride]

Ooh thanks for that meixin! Hs friends naman namin so we have lots of common friends. As per my friend when they went dun sa wake, my friend just kept on saying it's for the buddhists lang daw. I'm actually ok with engaged and pregnant guests, parang iba lang din talaga yung in mourning. Parang sana they'll respect the other end as well, not just go with what they want to do diba?

Will ask nalang our elders if there's such for mourning guests. Sana meron din.

Thanks girls!

[Chili1113]

I have a question, although I am not Chinese but I do respect certain customs and traditions.

I know there are rules about attending wakes etc. when you are engaged or expecting a baby. This is the thing. I attended a wake 6 days before my wedding date, and again 2.5 weeks after my wedding. Also a close tita of my hubby passed away a week before our wedding, and some of her children did attend out wedding still.

I am almost sure these aren't allowed in Chinese tradition. But I am just wondering what supposedly happens if this custom/tradition/rule is broken? Also, what can be done to counter it since I had broken the rules?

[meixin]

@corpse_bride: actually pag medyo traditional yung family sinusunod yun.. kasi kami di naman kami buddhists pero we still follow it. So may nagsabi na pala sa kanya nun and sort of still didn't get the hint?

@chili1113: These are supposed to be taboos which causes clashing of luck for the marrying couple. Then for the guests, persons in mourning are not supposed to attend any celebrations within 100 days of the death as a form of respect for the dead. I cannot remember exactly but there are some other rules that apply if these are the couple's relatives.

I'm not sure that if there are steps to counteract them.. I just know that you should not do them. But if you really have to go to someone's funeral, I was told that you should not enter the funeral place and just stay outside. An example is when my grandfather died, my brother's close friend (whose sister was getting married in a month's time) just texted him that he was below-stairs, so my brother just went to him for a while to receive his condolences.

[corpse_bride]

^ yes! He didn't get the message then. Hays. I'll ask a friend to try to do the dirty job for me.

^^ i dunno if you believe in such, but there's this amulet that you can buy that's suppose to counter bad luck or bad spirits that might go with you if you're not supposed to (not the right time, day, year, getting married, pregnant etc.) go to a wake or funeral. Just keep it in your bag. "Recharge" it with morning sun once in a while. It's one of those "wala naman mawawala" if you'll do or follow things.

[girltalk2017]

hi girls
what do we need to give to our ninongs & ninangs after we have selected them?

[chinkybride]

sis nixie - parang wala naman ako narinig na ganun na balita re: manila cathedral.

sis corpse bride - baka you can ask your friends to sort of ask them na "uy pupunta ba kayo sa wedding ni X and Y?" if they said yes, instruct your friends to say na "ah pwede ba kayo? since  diba usually sa chinese meron 100 days tradition?" then if they say na they don't believe it. tell your friend to tell them na, "are you sure you're going? baka mainis parents ng bride and groom kasi shempre mas traditional sila and may mga beliefs"  and then  maybe u can try to RSVP again personally  

[corpse_bride]

^ haha thanks! Will forward that script to my hitwoman.

[meishan]

hello fellow GTs!

first time to post, for some reason i couldn't post using the account that i first created here

@corpse_bride - agree with meixin, it's kinda rude to uninvite them. pag namatayan dapat d na din iniinvite to any happy ocassions. in your case, it's different kc the invite comes first before the death. pero they should kinda know din na they shouldn't attend na since they're in the period of mourning as a respect for the dead and the couple na din and it might kinda bring the newly weds bad luck.

btw, we didn't have tinghun na coz we find it impractical na now a days. January 2017 bride to be here. how are you guys on your preparations? medyo frustrating yung sakin coz we booked 3 suppliers pa lang. church, HMUA and for my wedding gown. it's kinda hard for me kc ako lang din nagprepare coz he's in Zamboanga he can be in manila naman pero medyo busy sya lately.

any recommendation for other suppliers? specially p/v. our budget for that is around 75k.

[meixin]

^Suggest ko unahin mo na reception venue.. Peak pa kasi January for weddings, baka mahirapan ka magreserve.. January 2017 bride din ako, di ko alam kung dapat ko ba irecommend na yung mga nakuha kong suppliers, wala pa akong official review sa kanila e hehe pero so far ok naman kausap yung mga nabook ko

[meishan]

@meixin - oo nga eh.. nakapag pencil booked na kami with a few resto. it's a matter of deciding na lang on which venue we should book. yung isa gave us until nov to confirm and yung iba naman gave us like until July yata yun to confirm.. sabi ng sis in law ko they will call naman if ever bago daw ibigay sa iba. whose your p/v? if you don't mind me asking...

girls, what's your take on resto vs event's place? my mom wants the reception in a resto it's more appropriate for Chinese guests and more sulit daw.

[princessshayera]

Hi meishan, did you try checking hotel receptions? Ako I prefer hotel reception para mas nicer lang ambiance

[meishan]

@princessshayera - ahh.. yeah that's a good suggestion. no i haven't check hotels yet. will try to ask for hotel quotations din.. thanks sis!

[meixin]

^^Let me guess, century seafood or gloria maris? hehe prefer ko sana hotel pero di nga daw sulit sa food lalo na kung pan-to. Though I used to dream kasi na sit down dinner reception, pero negotiable naman siya sa akin Mine is sa century seafood phase 2-3. I don't mind naman na dun kami sa restaurant, maganda din naman then add nalang ng ambiance sa styling photo and video ko hiwalay. Photo is Jorem Catilo, photographer friend ni daddy na matagal na din sa wedding industry. Then video is Christian Andaya.

[Chili1113]

Thank you so much meixin and corpse_bride for enlightening me. corpse_bride, may I ask where can I get the amulet and what is it called exactly? Can I just get this in any feng-shui store? Thanks you!

[corpse_bride]

^ I forgot what it's called eh. But they'll know which one naman. I got mine at Virramall. There's like 2 shops there that I think.

Talked to some friends last night. Medyo na-himasmasan na ko with my dilemma. Bahala na sila if they'll go or not. On our end we'll understand & respect if they opt not to. Pero sana maisip pa din nila it's sorta weird. :/

[chinkybride]

sis corpse_bride . hayaan mo na if they will go. just don't let it affect you and think positive. lakasan mo nalang ang good aura / good luck vibes mo

[mloveg]

^^sis corpse_bride, I agree with what chinkybride's suggestion. Good idea yun, asking your other friend to tell them baka it's not a good idea to attend your wedding.

[meishan]

what's your take to pre-nup agreement? i know it's common with Chinese Family specially on the guy side, but these are being discussed normally during the pamamanhikan. and we haven't really had one but we're already preparing the wedding. he just recently brought it up and i don't actually know how to respond to it and how my family would react to it. my parents are not asking for tinghun as well.