CHINESE WEDDING

[aubsee]

All of my relatives who got married had over 100 tables sa weddings nila, kasi may mga association pa, etc., etc,

my fiance and i would probably end up with just as many guests because of our parents, and we ourselves have so many friends..kaso lang i always wanted an intimate wdding where verything is gorgeous and formal, pero mukhang malabo magyari here kasi when we tried to talk our parents into limiting the guestlist, hay nako, kahit limit na at least 900 pa din ang guests..so i think chinese weddings talaga ganun, kaya never mind na, our parents are just proud of us kaya they want everybody to witnes our union..

our engagement (tinghun) will be on december, we will have 400 plus guests because hindi talaga kayang bawasan...sigh..i'm sure u guys can relate..

[delphinos2005]

wow. dami mo ngang guests! =)

we'd limit ours to 300. magalit na ang magalit. LOL. i really want a formal, elegant wedding.

[can_dice]

Ours might balloon to 720!

Yikes!  I was expecting mga 500 lang both sides na.. pero his side is nasa 430 na eh...

Yikes!!

[dona626]

I have a question..
Who will spend for the cloth of the god parents? (yung gagamitin nila for their outfits?)

Shouldered by the couples. If you want na maka tipid, like sa barong ng entourange, you can supply the fabric ng barong. Sa pants naman tell them to wear black na lang para maka save ka. Majority naman ng guys may black pants  For the ninangs choose a nice fabric na maganda ang bagsak and color, hindi naman kelangan super expensive,  important may mabigay ka sa kanila when you visit them and give them fruits or cake. Magastos talaga, pero thats the tradition. 

[sardonyx]

for chinese families, pag sinabing wala ng ting hun, yung ceremony lang naman ang wala, di ba? meron pa rin ibibigay ang both sides like jewelry, etc., di ba? or meron bang nangyayari na wala talagang dala, pagkain lang?  pangit kasi ang labas if one or both parties get embarrassed because of the misunderstanding.

[prettynvain]

yes sis.

they will still give jewelries and ampao.. kasi you will still need to serve them tea diba? sa amin kasi ganun. nauna ceremony then after 3months yung banquet.. anduhn kasi sa wedding party lahat eh.. yung tea ceremony, etc.. dun na din yung nagpalit ako ng gowns (5gowns including kua)

[sardonyx]

^before kasi, i just told my bf of my family's preference na mag dinner lang kami then no formal ceremonies na. it's up to them what they'll bring.  but on second thought, my parents decided that first meeting, mag-agree muna if may ting hun ba o wala, and other details about the wedding.  then whatever we will decide on, may second dinner pa rin.

[pampolinous]

ang alam ko is it's best to have a ting hun , kasi parang (at the worst) safety net ito ng girls. diba after the ting hun or before the ting hun it would be announced on the Chinese papers? At the worst case if the guy breaks the engagement off, alam ng buong bayan and you get to keep the jewels daw. LOL. Sorry, I know it's not really funny, but strive to have a ting hun as much as possible.

[can_dice]

for chinese families, pag sinabing wala ng ting hun, yung ceremony lang naman ang wala, di ba? meron pa rin ibibigay ang both sides like jewelry, etc., di ba? or meron bang nangyayari na wala talagang dala, pagkain lang?  pangit kasi ang labas if one or both parties get embarrassed because of the misunderstanding.

I know pag sinabing walang tinghun - it means no ceremonies and NO gifts.  Yun ang pagka-alam ko.  Kaya girls - be careful!! 

You can say - may tinghun - no ceremonies BUT there will be exchange of gifts.

ang alam ko is it's best to have a ting hun , kasi parang (at the worst) safety net ito ng girls. diba after the ting hun or before the ting hun it would be announced on the Chinese papers? At the worst case if the guy breaks the engagement off, alam ng buong bayan and you get to keep the jewels daw. LOL. Sorry, I know it's not really funny, but strive to have a ting hun as much as possible.

Sis, not all naman kasi nowadays nagpapa-announce sa Chinese newspaper.  PERO ang alam ko is that - if the engagement is broken - solian daw ng gamit (return all the tinghun gifts).  Tinghun is really for the girl - kasi parang 'binibili' ng guy yung girl sa family niya.  As bad as it sounds - ganon talaga (I think..)

But infairness - I love our Chinese customs and traditions despite it being conservative, weird and.... crazy minsan!  hehe...

[sardonyx]

my mom gave my sis-in-law sets of jewelry during engagement dinner.  she's a filipina by the way at walang ting hun yun.  i have another cousin whose family gave his filipina girlfriend jewelry sets during engagement. and we have family friends who still practice exchanging of gifts kahit sinabing walang ting hun kaya yun ang intindi ko na SOP basta chinese families.

[pampolinous]

actually the act of giving gifts by itself is the whole spirit of ting hun na

[can_dice]

Re:  No tinghun No gifts the idea came from future MIL.  She was the one who told me na pag walang tinghun - wala ng bigayan.  That's where I got the idea from.  Kaya ako - I'm in limbo..  Di ko alam kung ano ba talaga mangyayari sa akin.. (hay!!)  We were supposed to give Fiance a watch and medallion sa 'dinner' but friends have been telling me na if wala naman ibibigay yung family ng guy sa akin na gifts - might as well not give the watch and medallion - panget daw tingnan, kasi parang ang babae ang bumibili sa lalake..  Ewan ko ba!!

[pampolinous]

^ sis, likewise kung wala kang tinghun and gifts, you or your family don't have to buy a lot of dowry rin when you move over to their house, yung mga stuff like appliances na dapat bilhin ng babae when she gets married

[sunnysan]

my bf and i are getting married on january and wala rin kaming tinghun. our families haven't really met each other next month pa since ghost month daw ang august. we haven't talked about the gifts pero ang pagkakaalam ko rin, wala nang gifts if walang tinghun.

^i agree. i don't have to buy a lot of stuff rin for our house. pero i guess depende talaga. kasi my bf and i have talked about it na and it was agreed na hindi na kami bibili ng appliances. we're just hoping na maraming generous na ninong/ninang sa wedding namin. hehe.

[prettynvain]

^ naku sis. oo nga august is ghost month for chinese. 

aside from the jewelries, nagbigay din ng "dote" si hubby sa dad ko dati. tradition daw. pinilit ko nga na wag na pero kelangan daw. ang ginawa is nag-open ng bank account for my mom and dad, tapos yung bankbook na binigay. secret yung amount, but malaki, as in.. pero di ginagamit nor binabawasan ng parents ko. iniisip kasi nila baka bad luck pag ginamit eh. hehe. nahihiya naman ako mag-ask kay hubby eh..

[can_dice]

^Hmm.. I don't know about that ah!!  I've never heard of it!  hehe...  What I've heard is yung sa tinghun - diba maglalagay daw sila ng big and small amount sa sin-na but usually sinosole naman daw yung ng girl's family kasi insult if kinuha.. ibig sabihin binenta mo yung daughter mo..  Hahahaha!!  Good thing - wala na kaming ganyan ganyan!  Hihi..

Isip ko nga eh.. Not to buy mga appliances - will just add them sa registry para mas tipid diba?

BTW - may I ask - how many aircons kelangan ibigay ng girl side?  My mom said 1 aircon lang daw and the rest will be from the guy side.  My friends say otherwise naman, na ang guy 1 piece lang and the rest sa akin na daw!  Ano ba talaga?!

[prettynvain]

^ ewan ko sis. yun ang sabi ni hubby eh. pero sabi nung ibang napagtanungan ko, ganun daw yung iba talaga, especially if di chinese yung girl. just like me. pero old tradition na daw yun eh. ewan bakit sinunod pa nila. hehe. ang alam ko kasi indians and muslims na lang gumagawa nun  eh. hehe

kami naman sis, walang wedding registry. actually, puro ampao lahat binigay ng bawat guests. kaya yung gastos namin, nabawi and may tubo pa. hehe

i don't know the rest of chinese tradition, si hubby ko lang pure chinese. [textspeak!]-spanish ako eh.

[bigmomma]

mga sis, mas ok meron ting-hun, and ang point ng ting-hun talaga e is because of the gifts. tradition or no tradition masarap ang feeling nyan 

[sardonyx]

in my parents' point of view naman, we're no longer the traditional chinese.  we don't understand the significance of practicing the ceremony, some of which no longer hold true in this day and age.  at yung iba pa nga, di nakakaintindi ng mandarin o kahit fookien. kaya kung meron man, exchange of gifts na lang without the ceremony.

[can_dice]

mga sis, mas ok meron ting-hun, and ang point ng ting-hun talaga e is because of the gifts. tradition or no tradition masarap ang feeling nyan 

Sis!  You're so funny!!