Divorce in the Philippines

[queenjadis]

^ sis as our laws stand now, those are grounds for legal separation.

divorce (absolute divorce, to be exact) as the concept is understood in countries like the US, allows former couples who have successfully sought a decree of divorce, to remarry, even if the grounds do not refer to diriment impediments, or those impediments that existed prior to the celebration of marriage.

the closest we have come to a divorce law is the declaration of nullity based on psychological incapacity. however, this incapacity must be proven to have been already present before the celebration of the marriage, although symptoms have appeared later.

i think i took a stand earlier to legalize divorce, and i'm humbly re-thinking my position after viewing the recent posts. i guess at this point in time, it may well give an easy way out for people who have been rash in their decisions to get hitched, which is and never should be a matter to be taken lightly.

we have the law regarding violence perpetrated upon women and children, on top of our law on legal separation which provides adequate protection for those being abused except of course the privilege to legally re-marry.

[win_ak]

divorce in the philippines..that would be so expensive..so wala rin....

divorce in the philippines that is affordable that would be better...then again...why we have to do all the wedding ceremony if down the road...di pala compatible....hay...ang gulo ng tao hindi ng mundo...

divorce is really bad..emotionally is the worse....properties...kids..etc...plus the people around you....do you really want to face those challenges...think twice...

[mooncake and leaves]

i really disagree with the idea that just because divorce is available, people will take their marriages less seriously. there are a lot of countries where there's divorce but the divorce rate is very low. it's a shame that when we look at divorce, the only reference we use is the US when there are so many other countries wherein divorce is legal yet the divorce rate is considerably low (georgia, italy, etc.). there are so many other factors that can either prompt or dissuade couples from dissolving their marriages such as their financial situations, their cultural backgrounds, their values, etc. in the US for instance, since we love to use the country, people, especially before the recession, the divorce rate is high. now, it's declining. some analysts say that that's because people can not afford it or even if they can afford to get a divorce, they may not be able to afford or maintain the lifestyle they're used to.

it's also sad that people think that just because a couple gets divorced, they don't think about their families or what it could do to their children. you see, kids from broken or even chaotic homes have a harder time here than in The Philippines. there's such a pressure for them to have a normal, happy family because they tend to feel alienated by their peers and their community if their parents are divorced. for instance, my friend's 8 year old kid has a classmate whose parents are divorced and the kids mock him, insult him. children can be cruel so sensible, responsible parents really take that into consideration and no matter how bad their home is, they don't get a divorce or even if they do, they save it for when their kids are older and are well-equipped to handle it.

i tried to search for the annulment rate in The Philippines but couldn't find it. but i'm also thinking- kasi in our HS class for instance, out of 40 kids, probably about 15 came from broken homes. rough estimate lang. and because we were scholars at the time and most of us came from below middle class- middle class families, their parents never had an annulment. they just disappeared. even if divorce is costly kasi, i believe an annulment is even more expensive and involves a lot of paperwork. whereas a divorce, especially if it was done in amicable terms, if it was mutual, the process is relatively less tedious. so what i'm saying is, while we may not have the statistics (or i'm just really bad at research haha), while divorce is not available, it doesn't mean that families aren't being torn apart left and right in The Philippines. i see divorce as a faster, better, more complete way of ensuring that even if your marriage does not work out, you and your children get the rights and privileges you're entitled to that a mere legal separation or annulment (because not all annulments are granted) wouldn't have been able to give you.

[milkeeway]

what's the difference between divorce and annulment??

confused...

[boogieston]

nope!! that's bad!! sure, a lot of people are splitting up...but then...what happened to "for better or for worse"?

if you ask me, those who undergo divorce are people who don't truly love their husband/wife. DON'T RUSH IN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO COMMIT!

[queenjadis]

^^ an annulment, when granted by a court of law, means that the there was a previous valid marriage but which is now being declared void. a divorce, when successfully procured does not entail the declaration that the marriage is now void. nevertheless, the effect is the same, the former spouses would be allowed to remarry.

as to the grounds, the grounds for annulment presuppose a vice of consent during the time the couple entered into the marriage, meaning, the ground should have existed even before, or at least at the very moment the couple celebrated their marriage. this is more exacting and harder to prove than a ground for divorce, which need not exist before or during the marriage celebration, but which may manifest thereafter, such as when the couple have differences later on which they cannot reconcile and which would make it extremely burdensome for them to stay together.
     this is the bone of contention now when it comes to the issue of legalizing divorce because as our law stands and according to public policy, persons who marry each other cannot later on be allowed to re-marry other persons legally unless there were diriment impediments in their union or vices of consent duly proven to exist prior to or at least during the celebration of marriage.

[milkeeway]

^ah ok.. eh mahirap pala talaga pag annulment , kung ayaw mo na talaga mas maganda nga magdivorce..
kaso pag naapprove naman yan, dadami yung couples na hindi na magpipilit ayusin yung relationship nila kahit pwede pa naman.

[cinnamon168]

For me naman I think it's ok na meron divorce dito sa philippines. Easy for others to say na hindi maganda ito lalo na if hindi pa naka-encounter ng violence sa away mag-asawa or verbally abused wives etc.

If ever these would happen to me of course I want to spare myself for more heartaches/physical pain and move on with my life.
Life is short 

[janixx]

i don't agree!

[vhanya]

okay, may napapansin lang ako sa mga reason why some people are against divorce. karamihan sinasabi na baka di na seryosohin yung pagpapakasal. ask ko lang, pakialam nyo sa kanila? its their choice na magpakasal, whether nabuntis lang o matagal na talaga sila. tsaka marami talagang nagpapaksal sa maling reason, so ano yun, pag nagising na at natauhan , wala ng magagawa kasi d na pwede mag divorce? Eto pa, when you fear na baka di na seryosohin yung pagpapakasal, san kayo takot? sa fact na baka pumayag agad bf or gf nyo na pakasal kayo agad kasi pwede naman i-divorce ka pag di na mag work? d ba mas ok yun? at least di ka mahihirapan mag move on? at least alam mo na may option ka to move on and hindi ka paaphirapan ng long and tedious process ng annulment. or magpapaka martyr ka na lang ba ang ma-stuck sa relationship na sobrang ganda in the start tapos bigla, you caught your wife or husband cheating, wala na? hiwalay na lang ng walang due process? sinong mas talo dun? d ba ikaw rin?

In a failed marriage, divorce should also be an option. the church and state should not limit a person, or in this case, the couple to decide on what's best for them. kasi in the end, hindi naman naapektuhan yang mga gumawa ng bill kung na trauma kayo sa kakaaway ng parents nyo. in the end, yung involved pa rin yung naapektuhan, thus, dapat may choice sila sa buhay na gusto nila.

people keep reminding na "for better of for worse", what if it really is the worst? besides, kung ganun lang din na pinayagan magka-annulment, then wala na yung stand ng church about the sanctity of marriage kung papayagan nilang gawing void yung kasal in the first place.

kung susundan yung logic, its like birth control eh. ayaw ng church sa contraceptive pills, etc. pero bakit may choice ka pa rin kung ano gusto nyong couple na means of contraceptives? bakit, pag sinabi ba ng church na, wag kayo mag pills kasi ayaw ni lord nyan, susunod ba kayo? mag rhythm method kayo kasi yun yung advisable.

so divorce and annulment should also be like that. it's there as an option. pero hindi naman ibig sabihin eh gamitin mo. kasi in the first place, madami pa rin namang pilipino na hindi nag pills o nag contraceptives, kaya yun daming anak na di na mapakain =)

we keep thinking na wag na divorce because di naman mangyayari sakin na gulpihin ng asawa ko, or mag cheat sya or baka i-harass nya ako emotionally. what if it does happen? you will never know, besides, people change. OO, mahal na mahal nyo isat isa pero who knows? ganun pa rin ba kayo in 10-25 yrs? no one knows. and its much better na alam mong may option ka in the end hindi yung bahala na mentality.

[krispie]

Nobody wants to have a divorce bec. all we want is to have a solid and happy family life....BUT there  are some circumstances that its rather for the couple to divorce and part ways than be together and be unhappy for the rest of their life. . . .

[mctc_25]

if you ask me, those who undergo divorce are people who don't truly love their husband/wife.

agree ako sa sinabi mo sis, usually naman kaya umaabot sa point na naghihiwalay ang mag asawa lalo na kung may anak na sila eh dahil wala na talaga yung love, kasi kung may love pa naniniwala ako na pipilitin nilang maisalba ang marriage nila, minsan nga kahit wala ng love basta para sa mga anak pinipilit pa ding isalba ng mag-asawa ang marriage nila

at naniniwala din ako na sa umpisa, kaya din naman nagpakasal ang mag partner eh dahil may nararamdaman silang pagmamahal sa isat isa

but along the way ng kanilang pagsasama bilang mag asawa, may mga nadidiskubre sila sa isat isa na maaring nagiging dahilan kung bakit nagbabago yung love na yun, not necessary may physical abuse, maaring isa sa kanila eh nangaliwa, nagsusugal, nagda drug, irresponsible o maaring hindi lang talaga sila magkasundo sa maraming bagay bagay

for me ano man yung dahilan ng pagbabago ng pagtitinginan nila sa isat isa, kung wala na yung love at respeto bakit natin sila pipiliting magsama habang buhay at maging miserable sa buong buhay nila? baka maging mas mabuti pa silang magkaibigan kesa mag-asawa


at syempre higit sa lahat kung may pananakit na nangyayari sa loob ng tahanan, for the sake of marriage hahayaan na lang ba natin silang magtiis 

sa personal opinion ko, baka mas makaganda pa kung merong divorce, dahil kung may divorce, at mahal mo ang partner mo hinding hindi mo sya babaliwalain dahil alam mo na kahit asawa mo na sya anytime eh pwede pa din syang mawala sayo dahil nga merong divorce, so nandun yung effort ng bawat isa na patuloy na maipakita ang pagmamahal nila sa partner nila

[rianne_mallows]

i'm in favor of divorce..

i think most people are against it because they feel that if divorce is to be legalized, chances are, it might happen to them. at least kung walang divorce, mas less ang chance na maghiwalay ang current partners.

in my POV people who are against it are not really aware of the trauma of having a DISFUNCTIONAL FAMILY. because if you ask people who are products of broken families, almost all would say that it is better that way than having to live with parents who fought all the time.

some might think that legalizing it would give birth to a NEW LAS VEGAS, however,  does this mean that people there do not have serious relationships and do not have happy marriages? i think not

i think most people would like to have an IDEAL world, and in that IDEAL WORLD, the notion of DIVORCE is a big no no.. however, fact is, life in general does not permit us to live in bliss. people arent perfect. they commit mistakes, and even if you're the most careful of person, you're bound to commit mistakes eventually.

i see divorce as a way to give people second chances, a chance for a better and more fruitful life. no one has to suffer forever because of one mistake.

bottom line is, its really up to the couple if they think a relationship is worth saving or not. divorce is just an option if ever it is to be granted.

[enigma23]

amen to that!! i think divorce is an option nga, it's doesn't mean na if you are in favor of divorce that you don't take marriage seriously, but it's the other way around, don't get me wrong i'm married and i love both my husband and son, but you cannot control all the things around you and sometimes, no matter how you wanted a perfect life, things just don't happen the way you want it to be and you can't control that.

[springblossom]

but why do we need to legalize divorce? meron na naman tayong legal separation and annulment. dahil ba mas madali mag-divorce?

im also thinking na baka lower yung rate ng divorce sa ibang bansa kasi lower din yung rate ng marriage nila. why bother marrying di ba, if it can always end up in divorce? wag na lang tayong magpakasal kasi gastos lang. even if we couldnt foresee during our wedding day, that our marriage would end up in divorce, maiisip mo talaga that you might divorce each other in the future. so kung maiisip mo yan, wag nalang pakasal. mag-live in nalang siguro. hehe joke.

and by the way, if a marriage ended in divorce, whats the assurance that the your next marriage will not? so marry and divorce till you succeed? hehe. parang wala ng saysay ang kasal.

parang nakakatawa lang kasi pag talagang iisipin mo.

[springblossom]

so i think, if i were forced to make a choice, maglive in na lang kay sa maging legal ang divorce. at least, walang nangyaring taking of vows and promising each other in front of God and men.

i think what people need to change is not the laws and rules of this world. but our values and attitude towards life. mahirap to kasi hinde naman pwede ikaw lang magbago. dapat lahat ng tao at dapat sabay-sabay ang pagbabago. which i think is too good to be true and next to impossible.

[Wilfreda]

if I hear it right, 2 bansa nalang ang walang divorce. Philippines and there another one. Sorry nakalimutan ko na yung isa.. Ok lang sa akin may divorce. Kung ang buong europa nga eh may divorce. Pati pa yung sentro ng Kristyanismo may divorce na din. Mas ok na ang divorce compared to couple na magkasama na lang dahil sa papel. Or yung iba legally separated. or worst, married couple but with different partners.

[wilgems]

Hope also magkaroon na ng divorce sa Pinas. Ang dami ko kasing friends na approve din sa divorce .

[Arshtat]

I think annulment and legal separation is enough for the Philippines..

honestly, divorce scares me.. it's a nasty business in the US.. it's literally a business in the US..

I do come from a dysfunctional family.. and I was never happier when my parents separated because I was tired of seeing my mom getting beaten by my drunk dad.. but for cases like that, the marriage may be annulled..

[rianne_mallows]

but why do we need to legalize divorce? meron na naman tayong legal separation and annulment. dahil ba mas madali mag-divorce?

Annulment is for a marriage to be declared invalid from the very beginning. (voidable)

Divorce is for a valid marriage to be declared "terminated".

Legal separation does not invalidate a marriage.

from this site
http://forum.gov.ph/thread.asp?rootID=25258&catID=23


annulment for me is weird. an annulled marriage is considered never to have existed. its a complete hypocrisy.  its like saying it didnt rain yesterday when it really did..


(parts of an article in new york times)
http://www.nytimes.com/1997/04/24/garden/seeking-to-annul-the-annulment.html

''How can anyone say this marriage didn't happen?''   ''The annulment process is so hypocritical and so dishonest. It is important for children to know there are certain things you don't lie about simply because it's convenient. If you duck that, you send your children a very bad message.''
-Ms. Kennedy

why bother marrying di ba, if it can always end up in divorce? wag na lang tayong magpakasal kasi gastos lang. even if we couldnt foresee during our wedding day, that our marriage would end up in divorce, maiisip mo talaga that you might divorce each other in the future. so kung maiisip mo yan, wag nalang pakasal. mag-live in nalang siguro. hehe joke.

and by the way, if a marriage ended in divorce, whats the assurance that the your next marriage will not? so marry and divorce till you succeed? hehe. parang wala ng saysay ang kasal.

parang nakakatawa lang kasi pag talagang iisipin mo.

if you put it that way it really does sound funny, however, that is BECAUSE YOU PUT IT THAT WAY.

given these statements.. i have to ask, are you married? or do you already have plans of getting married already?  because i think youre missing the reason why people marry and thus giving more importance to your FEARS than FAITH to the person you are marrying


back on divorce..

I think annulment and legal separation is enough for the Philippines..

Divorce is the final termination of a marriage, canceling the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and dissolving the bonds of matrimony between two persons. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce)


its completely different from annulment


i remember this story from one of my class

on annulment -
girl1- kamusta na asawa mo?
girl2- wala akong asawa. never ako kinasal. tumira lang kami sa isang bahay at may 5 anak. pero di kami kasal as in.
girl1- ano kaba? umatend pa nga ako ng kasal niyo
girl2- guni guni mo lang un

on divorce -
girl1- kamusta na asawa mo?
girl2- we got divorced. it didnt work out


see how different it is?