Abused Women Support Group: Verbal, Physical, Emotional

[rose_24]

Hi sissesss!!!
Just wanna ask and share my situation...
Kasi after we got married po eh hindi na maging maganda ang mga nangyari sa pagsasama namin. After we got married, we lived in my parents house at dun ko nakita ang tunay nyang ugali... 3 years kaming maging magboyfriend before we end up marrying nakita ko naman na yung mga ugali nya in 3 years na mas lumala nung kasal na kami, akala ko naman kasi eh magiging ok kami pagkasal na kami pro nagkamali ako. Napatunayan ko sa sarili ko na lust lang pala ang gusto nya sakin... Ilang months lang kaming nagsama after the wedding and I decided na makipaghiwalay sa kanya dahil nga kung pano nya ako tratuhin at ang pamilya ko... Lagi syang wala sa bahay namin kahit na wala naman syang pasok sa school, maagang maaga sya aalis samin tapos ganing gabi na kung umuwi at minsan pa eh magtitext nalang bigla ang mga magulang nya sa akin na dun muna daw matulog sa kanila ang anak nila, madalas nya akong pinipilit na may mangyari samin, minsan pa my suhol na chocolate at kapag hindi ko tinanggap at hindi pa rin ako pumayag eh binato nya sakin yung chocolate, mahigpit ang hawak nya sakin na nasasaktan na ako, may isang incident pa na pinuntahan nya ako sa house namin at lola ko [textspeak!] at anak ko ang kasama nung araw na yun at sinubukan nya akong halayin, tinulak nya ako sa kama at tatanggalan na ng damit at sa sobrang galit ko dahil pa sa ginawa nyang yun eh at sa panlalaban ko eh natadyakan ko sya at napatumba sa lakas ng pagkakatadyak ko sa knya.

Yung ginawa nya po ba sakin yun eh isa na sa pwedeng ground para makapagfile po ako ng annullment? Pro wala po akong witness na ginawa nya po sakin yun... Pls need some advice mga sis...

[cosmochick]

I've read this thread from start to finish because I once was a victim of physical abuse by my ex husband. The first time my ex hit me, napatawad ko pa. And I did all I can to act as if nothing happened. The second time, all my respect for him was gone. I became quiet and I was not myself. The only thing thats keeping me going is my baby. But just like some of you here, I was walking on eggshells the entire time. After two and half years, I finally got the courage to leave. Siniraan din nya ako to my friends, to my family. Saying I was addicted to shabu, that I went to bars every night, eh hello! 9pm pa lang tulog nako with my baby beside me. and etc.. etc.. pinalabas nya talaga na ako ang may deperensya and sad to say, some of my so called friends actually believed it. And I did not bother explaining. What for?

What I did, I went to a place where no one knew me and started anew.It was hard at first and looking back from where I am now, i would have never imagined I would come this far.

Annuled na ako last 2008. And I've never been happier. God is good. We all deserve to be happy. Life is short. You just have to love yourself first and everything else will follow.

To all the sisters here who mustered enough courage to stop the abuse, hats off to you. and to the rest who are still coping, here's to hoping you shall soon find the peace and happiness we all deserve.

[ayancruz]

hello to all the respectable females here. i am arieane cruz, a 4thyr nursing student from university of santo tomas and we are working on a thesis regarding batteredwives/partners. I humbly ask for your help if you could be willing to be one of our key informants. I guarantee you that the brief interview would be confidential and no videotaping will take place. we will just have to use a tape recorder for us to analyze ur narratives. my team badly needs ur help and we would be very grateful if you speak up. please do message me soon and i'll give my contatc number. Please, please help us. Let us all unbutter the batter, let us all step on the light! thank you so much! girlpower! :*

[sunnymel]

   I hope ok mrmi pa ding nagbabasa ng thread na ito Its so nice to have someone to share to. Good for you sisses na nakakahiwalay sa mga partners nila. Basically, I think nagagawa nyo to break into that person kasi meron kyong matakbuhang family or meron kyong work. Its sad to think that others are still "there". Are ther 'halfway' homes for abused women? Ive heard of The Haven by Congressional Spouses of rge Phils pero di ko mkita s web ang address..
   God Bless everyone!

[pinkk]

Save
http://famli.blogspot.com/p/free-government-help-for-ra-9262-cases.html

[amy farrah fowler]

i've never been abused in any way, but i know several women who are.  nakakaiyak talaga ang mga stories nila.  and i admire women who speak up and are strong enough to do something to stop the abuse. 

dapat talaga palaban tayo, mga sisses.  wag tayo paapi.  remember that we're entitled to all the respect there is in a relationship. 

[carrieso]

yes I know your situation , Please talk to GOD through prayer... always and allow him to be director of your Movie life......

[momentum]

Hi everyone

how's it going na with your situations? wala na naguupdate dito

Hope nagiging okay na mga buhay natin kasi no news is good news    

[mimigarcia]

oopss! i belong..

[momentum]

^ care to share what happened?

[jpsv72]

hi, I read this thread about being abused, so do i, abused for a couple of times, but my husbands keep on denying it, to the point na kaya daw sya nagkaganoon because of me. Married for almost 15 years, called, wh*re, $lut, PI, masamang asawa, gag*, sinungaling, traitor, what else that would describe me as a bad wife. He even posted it in the FB how bad wife I was.
Ano bang magagawa ko, I already resigned from work, at malapit ng umuwi, and the last na kinatatakutan ko, I don't have the finances to work and stay in the Philippines, kasi ang usapan namin i will send money and support the kids then he will save his salary for our savings. That's how manipulative he was na pinaniwalaan ko sya.
What can we learn from each other, we have to be brave for the sake of our kids? I am but with regards to finances, that would be my main problem. I am afraid  to go home dahil dun, I don't know what kind of life waiting for me. I don't know if I will have the chance to land a job in the Philippines.

[Hurting_angel]

Thank you all for posting your stories of strength and courage.. There are days I think I prefer to be a physically battered wife than to be emotionally and psychologically battered. Because scars and bruises can be documented while the other two needs to be determined by a psychologist or counselor pa. I am 45 years old, with 3 kids and I've resigned myself to a life wherein I've accepted that I married someone who's really bad. To describe him - he's greedy, he's self centered and egotistically narcissistic. Nothing matters to him except himself, vain and very arrogant. Years of emotional and psychological abuse has caught on and now - my eldest daughter has become depressed and suicidal, begging me to file for legal separation or annulment just to get their father out of the house and out of their lives.

Its hard for me to write the details of how it has reached this point but I know my daughters are in dire need of counselling so am I, but we all agree it shouldn't be "religious" in nature. I'm sorry and no offense meant to Christians in this thread - but their father professes to be a Christian to our faces then neglects the children when it comes to parental relationships. He provides, thats it. But to be called a "father" he is not.

According to him he does not need to apologize to us for whatever sins we say he has done to us, because according to him, God has already forgiven him. Yet he struts around like a peacock flaunting things. A clear example is the simple phone load. He buys himself a laptop, a new car, two cellphones, new shoes, etc... even just came from Palawan with his family [father siblings and niece] WITHOUT even taking any of his children with him then comes home showing off his "pasalubongs" of which NONE is meant for any of his children. Load? They ask him for pasaload, he shares P20.00 with a "sumbat" attached to it. He calls all his kids |"expenses"... unwanted expenses to their faces.

Hope that clarifies why I prefer a non-sectarian or non-religiously inclined support group to help me and my children weather this storm.

I have no means to support them which is why like I said - I've resigned myself to the fact that I need to live with him under the same roof for the sake of the children. Other than that, he has his own life, actually even posted the photos of his current GF in his FB account until the kids got wind of it and he took it down. The rumored GF is like 2 months older than his eldest daughter. [yuck] and works as a GRO in some bar in Pasay City.

I turn a blind eye to all his shenanigans for the sake of the kids but when my daughter begged me, drunk and in tears, begging me to file for annulment or legal separation, I knew the lines have been crossed and drawn already. They've had enough already of him and they want him out of their lives.

Please, I need help. A support group that can help my children and myself weather this that won't eat up too much of my measly salary. You see, he won't pay for this and he has cut all access I may have to "his" money. But he has the nerve to tell me, demand for half of whatever I earn in front of the kids.

Any information would help. Thanks so much.

Hurnting_angel

[momentum]

^omg..that really is something..

i don't know of any counseling..i wish i could help..

nakakawa yung mga kids mo, and for him to say those things in front of them..more so you, as the wife, to be in that situation..

maybe if you guys just move out of there and start your own life?maybe your kids will help you earn the money to get by..

i don't know what else to say at this point, i'm just kinda shocked and still absorbing your situation..

take care and concentrate on your children and be with them 100%..

[mimigarcia]

^^That is too much! 

[luckypal]

it's really hard to be in an abusive relationship and even harder to get out.  ayoko na mag-asawa from all the stories i have heard and also the experiences that i have been through.

[corcor]

Reposting this information:

Girls, under NO circumstances should ANY form of abuse be tolerated! Empower yourselves. You can go to these orgs for help:

Read up on the:
VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN & CHILDREN Republic Act No. 9262
otherwise known as the “Anti-Violence Against Women and their Children Act of 2004”

Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD):
Crisis Intervention Unit (CIU) Rehabilitation Unit
Tel. No.: (02) 734-8635/ 488-3199

Department of Social Welfare and Development
The Social Protection Bureau
Batasan Complex, Constitution Hills
Quezon City
Tel: 63-2-9318101 to 07; 9322573
E-mail:itd@miss.dswd.gov.ph
Web site:www.dswd.gov.ph

Philippine National Police (PNP): Women and Children’s Concern Division (WCCD)
PNP-WCCPC Camp Crame, Quezon City
Tel. No.: (02) 723-0401 loc. 3480/ loc 3697/ 415-4908 loc 3699
Call or text 117 (PATROL 117)
E-mail Address: wccpc_2001@yahoo.com
Services: Conducts appropriate police investigation of all cases involving violence against women and children, Provides highest standards of medico-legal, psychological/psychiatric counseling services to victims of VAWC, Maintains strengthens coordination and other agencies concerned and protection of women and children, Files VAWC cases with the clouts and does tracking and follow-ups

National Bureau of Investigation (NBI):
Violence Against Women and Children’s Desk (VAWCD)
Tel. Nos.: (02) 523-8231 loc. 3403

Department of Interior and Local Government – NCR
Address: 265 LMP Building Ermin Garcia, Street Cubao, Quezon City
Tel No: 912 –8962, 912-8965, 912-8967
Services: Gender and development program where VAW is one of the concerns and issues for the whole region

Women’s Crisis Center: Women and Children Crisis Care & Protection Unit –
East Avenue Medical Center (WCCCPU-EAMC)
Address : 7th / f East Ave. Medical Center East Ave. Diliman Hills, Quezon City
Tel. Nos.: (02) 926-7744; 922-5235; 924-9315
Schedule : Mondays - Fridays 8:00 - 6:00 PM
Services: Face to face Counseling, Telephone Counseling
Temporary Shelter for victims, Medico Legal Assistance, Legal Assistance, Survivors support group
Type of Client: Women Only
Referral Requirement: Referral Letter
Case study with all necessary documents attached to it.


National Commission on the Role of Filipino Women (NCRFW)
1145 J.P. Laurel St., San Miguel Manila
1005 Philippines,
Telephone: +632.7354767
Fax Number: +632.7364449
Email: edo@ncrfw.gov.ph

AMRSP – WOMEN AND GENDER COMMISSION
Address: 1348 Quinto cor Ma.Clara Sts., Sampaloc, Manila
Tel No: 712-9084, 742-7826
Education (information and seminars), Campaigns on Status of women, Research (specifically abuses/violation Within the catholic church), Resource Center, Shelter for Survivors (a day or two or Prayers/reflections), Pastoral care


Red Cross Welcome Center for Women
Address: Philippine National Red Cross, Bonifacio Drive, Port Area Manila
Tel No: 5278384 loc 126
Services: Temporary Shelter, Home life management, Medical services, Guidance and Counseling, Livelihood skills training, Referral
Referral Requirements: Case study report, referral letter, laboratory, examination results on urinalysis, CBC Hepatitis B and Ultrasound


University of the Philippines-Philippine General Hospital (UP-PGH) Women's Desk
Address: Emergency Room Complex, Taft Avenue, Manila 1000
Contact Person: Ms. Bernadette R. Albino
Medical Social Worker
Telephone Numbers: 524-2990 / 521-8450 local 3072/loc. 3816
Services: Case Management of Survivors of violence, Medical Management, Supporting services and referrals, Training on gender sensitivity and violence against women, Development of institutional guidelines and protocol, Curriculum deveopment, Paralegal counseling, Psychosocal interventions: (1) Individual and group therapy, (2) Crisis counseling, (3) Stress management, (4) Advocacy, (5) Research, (6) Supervision.
E-Mail Address: womens_desk@yahoo.com

The HAVEN – National Center for Women
Address: Northgate Avenue, Filinvest, Corporate City, Alabang
Munitinlupa City
Tel No: 807-1586
Services: Residential care, Medical services, Maternal and child care, Self-enhancement and skills development, Livelihood skills development, Legal services, Counseling, Case work/group work, Others: transportation, non-formal education
Referral Requirements: Social case study, Report, Medical abstract records and referral letter

Family and Community Healing Center (FCHC)
Address: C.P. Garcia Avenue cor. C.V., Francisco St., Baranggay U.P.
Campus Diliman, Quezon City
Tel No.: 426-9779
Services: One-on-one counseling with follow-up home visit for women and men and children, Information distribution on VAW awareness

Center for Family Ministries (CEFAM)
Address : Loyola House of Studies, Ateneo, Quezon City
Tel. # : 426-42-89 to 98 fax : 426-4285 Service : face-to-face counseling by appointment
Schedule : Monday to Friday 8:00 - 6:00 PM Saturday 8:00 - 5:00 PM
Contact : Mrs. Socorro P. Mirabueno -Exec. Director
Terms : By donation

Ateneo Wellness Center
Address : Alingal Hall, Ateneo de Manila, Quezon City
Tel. # : 426-60-01 loc. 4022,4023
Services : Psychological testing, therapy & counseling for Kids (4yr- up)
and Adult by appointment
Schedule : Monday - Friday (8:00-5:00 PM)
Contact : Lerma Rasco, Secretary Dr. Ma. Emma Conception-Liwag Exec. Director
Terms : Depends on level; P400-800 per session

Women’s Action Helpline
Telephone : 430-4207
Schedule : Monday-Friday 9:00-5:00 PM
Services : Abuse of women in intimate relationships

Crisis Line
Tel. # : 893-76-03
Schedule : (Monday-Friday 9:00am-4:00pm)
Services : General counseling /referrals

Crusade Against Violence
Tel No. : 810-54-97 to 98 / 810-55-01 / 810-5842

Helpline
Tel # : 5255845
Service : Child Abuse, Violence Against Women Counseling

In Touch Foundation
Address : 48 A McKinley Road, Forbes Park, Makati City
Tel. # : 893-18-93 or 893-76-06
Services : Face-to-face counseling by appointment
Schedule : Monday - Friday ( 9:00 - 5:00 PM)
Terms : P1,500.00 per session/hour

Natasha Goulbourn Foundation
Address : Suite 209, LRI Design Plaza, 210 nicanor Garcia Street, Makati
Tel. # : 897-2217
Schedule : Monday to Friday ( 8:00 - 5:00 PM)
Contact : Ms. Frances Lim

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

COMMISSION ON HUMAN RIGHTS (CHR)
Address: UP Complex Commonwealth, Avenue, Diliman, Q.C.
Tel No.: 928-6098
Services: Provides legal assistance to women victims of violence

DOJ Public Attorney’s Office Women's Desk
Tel. Nos.: (02) 929-9010; 929-9436 to 37

Gabriela
Address : 35 Scout Delgado, Roxas District, Q.C.
Tel. # : 371 2302/374 3451/374 3452
Fax # : 374 4423

Center for Women’s Resources
127-B Scout Fuentebella St.,
Brgy. Sacred Heart,Quezon City 1103 Philippines
(Near Sacred Heart Church at Sct. Ybardolaza St.)
Admin: +632 411-2796
Telefax: +632 926-1956
Email:cwrgrl@gmail.com; info@cwrweb.com


Agency : Women's Legal Bureau
Address : 11 Matimtiman St., Teacher’s Village, UP Diliman, Q.C.
Tel. # : 921-38-93 / 921-80-53
Fax # : 921-43-89
Contact : Atty. Evalyn Ursua ( Exec. Director)

Harnessing Self-Reliant Initiatives and Knowledge (HASIK) &
Women's Legal Bureau
9 Don Rafael Street, Don Enrique Heights
Commonwealth Avenue,
Barangay Holy Spirit
1127 Quezon City
Tel: 63-2-9314335
Fax: 63-2-9326026
Email:hasik@surfshop.net.phandhasik@klink.com.ph
Contact Person: Rebecca Demetillo-Abraham
Marie Christine N. Bantug

Agency : Kalakasan
Contact : Anna Leah Sarabia, Executive Director
Tel. # : 433-28-03 / 921-22-22
Schedule : Mondays - Fridays (8:00 - 6:00 PM)
Services : Medical & legal referral, shelter for battered women

Agency: SALIGAN
Address: GroundFloor Hoffner Building, Ateneo de Manila University
Quezon City
Tel No: 426-6124
E-mail Address: saligan@saligan.org
Services: Direct legal service, Litigation assistance, consultations, preparations of pleadings, court appearances, Publication – VAW manual and other publications, Education-paralegal training on VAW, Police advocacy
Referral Requirements: Partners referral – referral endorsement primarily VAW related cases

Department of Justice Action Center (DOJAC)
Ground Floor, Multi-Purpose Building,
Padre Faura Street, Ermita, Manila
Telephone no: 523-84-81
Email Address: dojac@doj.gov.ph
* The DOJAC acts on complaints, requests for assistance and legal queries of walk-in clients of the DOJ. For legal assistance please visit the Department of Justice Action Center (DOJAC) or visit any Regional/Provincial/City Prosecution Offices in your town or city.

*You can also ask for free legal help from the PAO (Public Attorneys Office) or from the IBP (Integrated Bar of the Philippines) chapter in your town or city. The IBP chapter offices are usually located in the Hall of Justice of cities. You can also try to get free legal help from the OLA (office of Legal Aid) of the UP College of Law in Diliman, Quezon City.

[momentum]

^Sis I know it's hard. but there will come a time when "enough is enough"
i had that, in just 1yr of experiencing this. I had to report it na to my mom. and damn it was hard.
 I should have a long time ago, even before we got married, baka hindi pa kami pinakasal ng mama ko.
sayang talaga.

you have to wake up na sis. 14yrs is too long. ang dami mo nang naaksayang panahon sa kanya. wag mo ng dagdagan pa..  you and your kid(s) will be better off and at peace w/o him..

[amberdeler]

mga sis.... ask for help sana...
i have a friend who's based in Korea with
tapos in relationship sya with a Sri Lankan..
she's also a victim of violence..
recently lang sya nag confide sa akin..
walang nakakaalam sa family nya dito sa Pinas na
ganun ang ginagawa sa kanya..
sobrang seloso daw nitong guy..
at nakakabuo ng story para ma i set ang idea na
may lalaki sya.. tingin ko mentally disturbed ang guy na to...
natatakot ako for my friend...
hindi nya alam kung san pwedeng humingi ng tulong..

[siomai]

at this momment nakipaghwalay n hisband ko sakin,sobrang sakit mga sis diko kaya na makita sia family nmin na sira so that i decided to say goobye na too evrybody sguro hindi ako kasing tpang ng iba to face this kind of problem,weak ako,honestly khit gno pa nrnasan ko hrap sa asawa ko mnahal ko sya but still sguro [textspeak!] n sya pagmmhal skn na npksakit pakinggan,kiling my self is the only thing naiisp kong solusyon dhil hndi ko alam kung pano sisimulan ang lhat.thank u sister for listening my story tjis is the last time na mag share ako ng problema ko,im loser and i cant face the reality.thank you to all of u.

OMG kylakirst! how are you? I hope hindi ka nawalan ng pag-asa. talk to your family. they will understand you. talk to your friends. hindi ka nag-iisa. talk to people. talk to someone. talk to a priest. talk to a tita. a friend a family member basta talk to anyone. dont keep your emotions and thoughts all to yourself. dinaanan na rin ng maraming tao yan. i myself have been abused but i am in a much better place now because i chose to be. my prayers are with you. keep safe

[xhyrel_01]

  mga sis may live in partner ako for almost 6yrs.. until now binubugbug pa niya ako, sa madaming tao minumura niya ako, nag wawala siya kahit sa labas ng bahay. ako ang nahihiya sa mga tao.. nag babasag siya ng gamit, nag mumura as in mura hindi ko na makain.. mahilig siya manuntok,manapok manipa.manampal.. dumadating na sa time na nahihimatay n ako sa sakit.. anyway may unang asawa siya at 2 anak. mga help kasi napuno na ako. hindi ko alam kung kanino mag sasabi. hindi ko na din alam panu ikwneto ng buo. help mga sis