^
Chloefrancynn, I think there are times when fighting back or in this case answering back, if only to demand to be respected becomes necessary. The problem with a lot of verbally abusive men is they have the tendency to get into the "
zone" and make it a habit of some sorts.
Yakking away isn't exactly a guy trait so men who find themselves nagging more than necessarily do not have the built-in break system thus they tend to over-do it. I mean, I can understand that every couple will have to fight every now and then. But arguing and fighting need not be totally destructive. When it's set to destroy a relationship rather than tweak it for certain timely improvements or to settle disputes, then it becomes alarming.
You should now take it upon yourself to defend yourself and if by defending yourself you have to be more aggressive, then so be it.
I think you should find the time, preferably when your husband is in a calm mood, to put up-front your list of stands. Demands, like perhaps that you are not going to put up with his verbal abuses any longer. That he may have the right to call your attention on the stuff he believes you did not do well, but he can't go over-board and inject degrading remarks in them or you'll have to fight back. That you two can argue but never in a destructive way.
Masama man pakinggan pero if you two really can't come to terms, puwede namang mag hiwalay. Hindi naman necessary to insult you, degrade you, give you insecurities, because no matter how bad a person/wife you happen to be there is always a more humane way you go about addressing his problem with you. If it's a choice between sticking to a loveless, respect-less marriage and separation, I'd take separation any day. Sticking together "
for better or for worse" doesn't mean killing each other slowly.
Now I could be wrong and this could cause your marriage to go downhill further but ..... since this is free advice, hey, that's okay.
Kidding aside, there could be repercussions in the same way that it could also provide solutions. But rather than sit there and accept the abuse until you lose yourself, lose your mind, or end up leaving him anyway, perhaps an aggressive but controlled way of demanding for respect holds the least risk to ruin your marriage. Think of it as an armed kinda uprising and the only way to be taken seriously is by making a determined stand.
Sabi nga ni Girlracer41 a few replies above, ... "
kung hindi ako kayang respetuhin ng partner ko, ako nalang rerespeto sa sarili ko". I think we owe it to ourselves to demand the Respect that is due to us. Not exactly abuse it too, but never put up with anything short of it.
Sometimes in saving something dear to you, you have to be ready to fight to the point of risking it all if only to secure it.
Of course this is just my take on the matter. Keep in mind that it can work against you.
Good luck Chloefrancynn!
