Filipino couples who are childless by choice...

[Isabeli Fontana]

@nikki: maybe you could discuss it with your husband in a relaxed setting.yung tipong hindi siya mukhang stressed sa work or sa ibang bagay.rather than mentioning it in passing, you can talk to him fully citing your reasons why you are thinking about going childless.

[natalia]

Actually maraming dahilan bakit gumulo yung usapan, hindi lang dahil dun sa sako comment. One is nung nagreact ng husto yung mga mommies dun sa sako comment. I read the sako comment by Bubblin/Isabeli and I didn't think any of it. It's a lewd comment but everyone knows it's an exaggeration.  Anyway, having said that, the moms are extra sensitive so yes they reacted the way they did. Understandable. I just want to tell them, hindi nega ang reaction sa inyo because you're moms and we happen to not want to be moms. Nega ang reaction sa inyo dahil you're making us feel na we have to give you and your kids special treatment. You say you don't ask for special treatment, only tolerance? We have every right not to tolerate rowdy kids in church. We don't ask that you don't bring your kids to church. We only ask that you keep them not rowdy. We don't mind that babies cry sometimes, or kids laugh or whatever. But I think we are all adults naman and we know what's too much. When you ask that we don't get offended that they are noisy, that is not asking for tolerance. That's asking for special treatment. Which is also unfair. We have to be a bit understanding yes, but you can't expect us to be EXTRA patient towards your kids. Not all of us like kids. That's not a crime and it doesn't make us monsters that we feel annoyed or irritated.

As for Bubblin/Isabeli, you've posted many times before about not wanting kids, no? It's obvious you feel really strongly about this. It is as if you need to justify yourself consistently. We get it, you don't want kids. But this kinda went from  "I don't want to have kids" to "I don't understand what the big deal is about kids." It went from, "I don't plan on having kids" to "Why would ANYONE ever want kids?" You don't derive joy from children, that's fine. I don't think there's any need to make others feel they shouldn't as well.

[ava_garde]

Kami din 1 yr na married and AKO yun may desisyon na huwag muna mag-anak. Hiniling ko muna sa hubby ko na 1yr muna kami wag mag-baby. Sa part ko kasi malaki yun adjustment. Seaman sya and I work full time in a corporate world.

Sobrang change of lifestyle sa akin kasi kung magkaka-anak. Most of the time wala asawa ko. I have a demanding work. Tapos pinaka-hate ko sa lahat mawawala yun easy lifestyle ko sa city. Emotionally din di ako ready.

Sobrang nag-eenjoy din ako sa pa-travel travel at night out with friends. Selfish on my part? Maybe yes for others. Pero I think I'm doing my future child a favor if pagsawaan ko muna yun ganito buhay kesa naman magkaroon ako ng feeling of paninisi sa kanya na hindi happy mommy nya kasi hindi dipa sya ready maging isang ina.

[ning kuting]

In a way I think this thread is a support group for couples/girls who made the VERY UNPOPULAR CHOICE of not having children.  Kung dito pa lang sa forum andami ng misunderstandings lalong madami sa labas. Let's be strong.

[artegirl]

^not really sure how sis.  in our case kasi ni husband, usually what I do is timing lang.  if we are discussing some general issues, and I think appropriate to bring in the topic of kids, dun ko bring us.  para at least he's already in the process of thinking about the subject.

on the stigma that childless couples are selfish, I think it's so unfair.  a long time ago we also dreamt of having a child.  but realized that we just cannot afford it. dati when I still have the patience to explain our side, I say that we are not financially prepared.  people will look at me as if to say "you're kidding me!".  and to an extent I uderstand them because people look at us as a couple with a very comfortable life.  but very few realize that we will not be able to afford such a lifestyle if we have a child.  once we actually sat down and did some financial projections.  and no matter how I reviewed the nos. there's just not enough resources to support a child decently; looking at the nos. we both realized that our income, even if we cut back on some luxuries, is not enough to provide for a child's basic needs, i.e. food, clothing, doctors'/medicines that will not be covered by health insurance, premiums for an insurance sizeable enough to financially support the child into adulthood in case 1 of us dies tomorrow, tuition fee, helper, etc.

I get so affected when I hear/see in the news about disadvantaged kids.  sabi ko nga sa husband ko, if ever we can afford to have a child, I really want to adopt than to have a biological child.  why?  because I strongly feel that there are more than enough children in our country but sadly there are not enough responsible parents.  why bring in another child into the world, when there are so many children out there just waiting for their "parents" to give them the life they really deserve? 

[raven03]

^Gabe girl, I felt like it was I speaking right from the "we seem to have this comfortable lifestyle kaya people egg us on having a child" down to the adoption part. Kami din ni hubby we are seriously considering adoption especially if lumagpas na ko sa child-bearing years. add ko lang, ang comment naman ng iba, "iba pa rin daw kapag sa kin galing, kahit isa lang", ang sa kin naman, my baby would not be any better than any other babies out there. Sino naman ako to think that I can make better babies that others di ba?

Pero siguro as of now, hubby and I would remain childless and prolly send a nephew or two in good schools.

[izabelle]

i sometimes wonder why some people are so nagmamarunong when it comes to couples who are childless by choice. minsan ang sarap nila sagutin ng "wala kang pakielam, buhay namin ito not yours"

they IMPOSED what they believe in when in fact hindi naman tayo pareparehas ng paniniwala.. what worked for them does not mean na ganoon na para sa lahat and what makes them happy or fulfilled does not mean na ganoon din para sa lahat.

iba iba priority ng bawat isang couple. iba iba ng gusto at iba iba ng paniniwala.. Some people must learn the meaning of the word RESPECT sa decision ng ibang couples.. and sana kesa mag waste of time imposing their so called beliefs eh mag focus sila sa buhay na pinili nila.

[phurple0515]

^ tama

[PinKisH_23]

Now that I think about it, mas lamang na ang ayoko ng magka anak lalo na sa situation namin ng asawa ko, I'd rather that I live away from him at mas complicated siguro kung mag baby pa kami.

[ava_garde]

Friends with babies will comment that they envy my kind of lifestyle: travel, no worries of going home early to attend to baby, dinner out with friends, weekend getaway at my own time. Pero hihiritan naman nila ako na "Ang sarap pa rin ng may anak." Maybe the joy is coming from human satisfaction that they are able to pro-create.

Pero one thing is for sure, I do not envy their situation. =)