The idea of childbirth feels very private to me and I feel guilty I?m this way

[kerdagoan]

Anything that makes me vulnerable makes me want to dig a hole and hide in it. I love my husband and we have a strong bond but I?m just not feeling the ?he must be with me during birth?. I told him it?s his choice if he wants to see what I assume is going to be a terrifying experience (we?re first time parents) or skip that part and just be with me and the baby pre/post delivery.

When I told friends that?s how I felt they were shocked I didn?t just want him there, which is making me feel like I?m a terrible partner https://nox.tips/  https://xender.vip/ .

I?m equating this to how my bathroom habits are my own private sanctuary, and that?s the only boundary I can?t cross with anyone (I avoided MoH helping me pee in my wedding dress, I would never go number 1/2 if my husband is too close by, I hide my period things like they?re illegal drugs or something)

I realize that there will be a LOT of bodily functions in front of nurses when it comes time to it, but even that terrifies me. The comforting daydream is I?d just labor by myself in a dark room with one other medical professional, where I can cry, scream, s*** myself, be a complete wuss in my own little space?But I know that?s not normal.

Anyone was in a similar boat but got over this ?losing their privacy? feel?