Or just 6 months to plan my exit and what to do after. That's my dilemma here mga sis. I think after over 5 years at this office, its time for me to move on. I decided to leave at the end of this year. but also afraid of what will happen next.
For context, I am a lawyer and I work in the government. This is my third.8-5 government job since I became a lawyer (no interruption). Before I left my previous jobs, I made sure na may lilipatan ako since I am not willing to go to private practice because its too risky and I felt at that time that I am lacking experience pa. Besides, every time lilipat ako ng office (lateral transfer), I made sure the pay is higher, same with the position. Na achieve naman yun. in fact, I am very much happy with this last job I have since I really learned a lot from it and comfortable ang compensation and allowances..
Before I made a transfer sabi ko at least umabot lang man ng 3 years and maybe I'm ready na to start my own practice but then I began really enjoying my present job and because of that diko man lang namalayan na 5 years na pala ako. So I thought that maybe I will just stay and wait until I'm due to retire then I can do whatever or maybe apply for a promotion.
This job really molded me into something. It wasn't a walk in the park-andami ko ding unpleasant experiences towards my colleague, staff, my boss and clients but I was able to manage all the stress. Ofcourse I also felt the burnout and daydreaming about having a vacation and not thinking about going to work every weekdays, but again na manage ko naman din sya. In short, I can see my career path on this job.
Until 2020 came. This is not to take away all the worst things that happened in 2020 due to covid , but aside from that reason, this is the worst year for me (and millions over the world). I lost my father (not due to covid) but we could not grieve properly because of health protocols and we have to bury him right away. Our relatives from other areas could not see us or share with our grief. It was hard for me and my family. Then another thing happened- my boss will be retiring at the end of this year, hence, he asked the head office for an assistant to take care of things so that he can be cleared form his pending works (in gov't, you need to have clearances to retire). basta, what I'm saying is, there was a new boss coming.
That was the beginning of the end. Kaya din siguro ako tumagal sa government (more than 9 years if I include my previous jobs) kasi I have bosses who are competent, not corrupt and overall nice people. I am not saying the new boss is corrupt or anything (I have no concrete proof) but I did not like him/her because he/she is power tripping. I am not a new lawyer nor a new employee sa job ko na to so I basically know what is right and wrong.
I felt that I have no more reason to stay since I just cannot take something opposite of my values. Iba na din kasi kung yung prinsipyo na yung pinag uusapan. I can make pakisama, infact, my staff are one of the reason why I'm having a hard time deciding if I should leave but there are things that I cannot compromise. I was hopeful na temporary lang siya but later development shows na siya na talaga yung papalit sa boss ko. I just cannot for the love of God, take orders from him/her nor I want to be his/her subordinate. Also, the feeling here is mutual (he/she doesn't like me either). Hence, this decision.
So that's the context. I admit that I am scared of what will happen to me after I quit. Im sure there will be 'talks' and speculation regarding my departure. Plus, I am really conflicted on what to do after. there would be times that I would like to work another 8-5 job because of stability and there are times na I'd rather start from scratch than have an 8-5. Ofcourse, there is that pressure to prove to everyone that I made the right decision and I am happy about it, but what if it wasn't a right decision and I would regret it? Also, sabi ng friend ko, parang ako daw yung sumuko kasi ako yung aalis.
I am very conflicted, mga sis.
