Author Topic: Just friends or emotional cheating?  (Read 419 times)

KayeLafang

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Just friends or emotional cheating?
« on: September 11, 2020, 12:42:41 am »
Hi! I'm new here. I just need some insights because I might be wrong with what I think about this. My hubby is the type of person who's very friendly and is easy to approach. Here comes a girl classmate of his from his post-grad course who he became close with. At first, I didn't mind as there was a bunch of them naman sa class. However, during their review, they became closer like she treated him to meals and vice versa. And he bought things because yun daw ang gamit ni girl so yun na rin gagamitin nya. There are chats like "kumusta" and "libre naman jan", "sunduin kita ng car and let's eat there na lang". What made these chats raise the red flag for me is that madalang sya in chatting people from the opposite sex, kahit na sa akin, and sometimes, up to the wee hours of the night. Eto pa, when we went out of town with this girl friend of his and another couple friends, they were joking that my hubby and the girl should pose ala "Kita Kita" kahit andun ako. And he took videos of her and were talking to them as if I wasn't there. One time nga iniwan na lang ako, nauna na sa sasakyan with the girl. I felt like pinagsisiksikan ko ang sarili ko by then. Kung di lang sobrang drama, I wanted to ride na a bus pauwi.

When their classmates meet up, silang dalawa agad ang expected na magkasama. They even went on a road trip na sila lang, treat and car ni girl ang gamit, kasi daw nag visita iglesia sila. When I confronted him about all these doubts that I have, he was very angry and was saying "wag mo akong itulad sa iba"; that I was just too malisyosa because I have friends who are nega and have bad relationships; and that he was trying so hard to be the best husband in a marriage that he saw as perfect. I ruined him daw. Di na ba daw pwede na magka friends with the opposite sex?

In fairness to him, he stopped chatting that's as far as I know. I don't have full access sa fb and messenger accounts nya. He has since deleted the chat app in his other phone kung san ko nakita ang mga chats nila. And he usually brings with him his tab anywhere he goes, kahit sa banyo. But I still can't shake this feeling off. Am I just paranoid?

Kiara027

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Re: Just friends or emotional cheating?
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2020, 01:37:16 am »
TS, valid naman yung naramdaman mo based sa dinescribe mong actions ng hubby mo. Masasabi ko lang, since sinabi mo na uneasy ka sa closeness nila ng classmate nya, at that moment, or the other day, tinigil na dapat nya communication or going out alone sa classmate nya na yun kung NIRERESPETO KA NYA bilang asawa nya na aminin mo na, nagseselos ka.

I think, kailangan mo pa ng deeper na pakikipag usap sa hubby mo and discuss mo yang feelings mo. Wag naman sana sya maging defensive kasi karapatan mo yan bilang asawa nya. Now if i insist pa din nya na friends lang sila, at nagiging malisyosa ka lang, at di pa din sya tumigil sa pakikipag close sa babae na yun, red flag na talaga yan. Bantayan mo na asawa mo, yang closeness na yan may tendency na madevelop feelings sa ganyan.  Been there done that. 😆

Yang pagtatago at pagdadala ng gadget sa CR kahit di naman nya gawain dati ang ganyan, red flag din yan. Been there done that. 😆

Masasabi ko lang, valid feelings mo, need mo na putulin ang klase ng friendship nila.

Wala an dapat na mas close na babae sa hubby mo kung ikaw, nanay nya, at kapatid na babae.
i am for everybody yet i am for none. nobody owns me neither i own one...

ficklemind

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Re: Just friends or emotional cheating?
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2020, 03:45:59 pm »
^ true, going on a road trip na sila lang? naman... bakit hinde ka sinama?
daming red flags. at napadefensive agad ng hubby mo.

TomHansen

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Re: Just friends or emotional cheating?
« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2020, 12:58:08 pm »
TS dapat nga di na umabot sa confrontation dahil kahit sino naman ang tanungin mali ang ginagawa nila. Tumigil lang siya dahil kinausap mo pero papaano kung hindi e di tuloy tuloy lang sila, insensitive. Yung reactions niya are just defense mechanism, ganun talaga ang mga tanong kinoconfront palalabasin pa ikaw ang masama at malisyoso pero kung baliktad kayo ng kalagayan malamang nagwala na yan at magiging paranoid din.

You have the right na magworry asawa ka e,pinoprotektahan mo lang status mo sa buhay niya at sa isang relationship hindi pwedeng may saling pusa. Mabuti na apulahin na yan habang baga pa lang wag nang hintaying umapoy pa. At adults na mga yan I'm sure deep inside alam nilang sobra na ginagawa nila at kung di mo pa kinausap asawa mo baka umabot na sa pisikalan yan (kung hindi pa).
Attraversiamo..

red_yesha

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Re: Just friends or emotional cheating?
« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2020, 03:10:25 pm »
TS Alam mo what bothers me more e  yung parang nangungunsinti pa yung mga kaibigan. Kaya para sa hubby mo siguro e wala syang ginagawang masama kasi parang shini-ship pa sila eh.

Valid ang feelings mo sis. Hindi din pwede sakin yan na "super close friend". Pag mag asawa or bf gf na wala na dapat ganyang linta. May limit na talaga.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. :)

Girltalker2

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Re: Just friends or emotional cheating?
« Reply #5 on: September 18, 2020, 08:31:06 am »
^ sis you said it
So true
Kaya hate na hate ko environment dyan
Lalo na sa mga offices kasi feeling Close FRIENDS lahat kayo and holding hands or akbayan, lunch out etc with opposite gender is cool. If not, you?re not cool.

Ghell06

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Re: Just friends or emotional cheating?
« Reply #6 on: September 18, 2020, 09:45:25 am »
Redflag talag sis yung parang shiniship na sila and to think na andun ka pa. Wow respeto naman sayo diba?

red_yesha

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Re: Just friends or emotional cheating?
« Reply #7 on: September 18, 2020, 11:28:42 am »
Korek sis! Tapos lalabas nyan ikaw pa KJ or close minded kasi di mo masabayan yung trip nila na pagiging super "close" kasi "bff" kayo.
Di ko matolerate ang mga ganyan kasi MALI.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. :)

janachen

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Re: Just friends or emotional cheating?
« Reply #8 on: September 18, 2020, 11:10:26 pm »
Pinakared flag sakin dyan yung road trip na silang dalawa lang.. No no ako. imposibleng walang nadedevelop na something.

 


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