Loving a married man

[fall2pieces]

Is anyone in this situation?

I met this guy last year. He?s kind, loving, caring and patient. I?m happy. He?s happy. That?s what?s important. The thing is, he?s still married.

Sometimes I?m wondering about our future? what if one day we want to start a family? We can just live together and have kids. Be an unmarried loving family. What?s mine is mine. No legal benefits of marriage. And to hell what society thinks.

Ayoko munang isipin ang annulment. Annulment is a long process and very expensive. It requires time and a huge amount of money that could be spent elsewhere. If only we have money to spare then why not?

People might think I need to leave this guy and get what I deserve-marriage. I have to choose,  the person or the legal benefits of marriage? The guy is also human who made mistakes and deserved to be loved, like we all do.

We can?t choose who we love, who we fall for. Love is love. We can?t refuse it. To deprive yourself of  a chance to be happy is cruel. Life is short, we?ll never know when our time comes. We?ll never know.

Am I making sense here? Hehe

[thatprettyghoul]

If you met the guy when he is already separated from his wife, then go and make him happy. BUT if you are a home wrecker, please, by all means, get away from him and end all channels of communication. The situation is different when you?re his mistress while he has a family. I am all for love and happiness naman, basta walang pamilyang masasaktan (specifically, asawang umiiyak at anak na iiwanan ng ama nila).

[fall2pieces]

He's already separated when I met him.

[simang]

If you really 100% want to get married one day, and this guy feels the same, then you SHOULD talk about annulment. There's no other way around it.

Be an unmarried loving family

This is completely fine. But imagine 20 years down the road, you've shared your lives together, invested in a family, built an empire for the two of you. Then he dies. You get nothing but memories, while the legal wife gets the rights to everything. You see, marriage isn't just about love. It's about security, it's about legal rights. And if you're okay with just memories when he's no longer here, then I guess you can live with him unmarried.

You're asking if it's okay to sacrifice one beautiful thing over another. Sure, it's okay. Especially if this one thing (or person in this case) is much more valuable than the other thing (marriage). But if you both are equally important to you, then I don't see the point of choosing.

We're always told that we can't have everything in life, I don't believe that. You can have a good, loving man, and a stable, secure marriage at the same time.

[plumpolka]

^ agree.. share ko lang sayo yung sa kakilala ko...


girl 1, they met nung separated na totally si guy sa kay wife and they are already in the process of annulment pero hanggang ngayon hindi parin natutuloy (need ng cash). mag almost 10 years na to. but the guy stays with her and they have kids. downside: all her kids are named after her lang and she never posts anything about their relationship. actually plus side din kasi people never talked about them. pero stressful kasi gustong gusto mo na maging free yung relationship nyo pero hindi pwede kasi natatakot sya na makulong (yun yung fear nya kasi vindictive personality daw si ex). they dont even go out in public din na magkasama. the ex-wife hates her ex-husband din naman pero medyo pyscho nga daw... yes she's happy, but not free. not yet kasi in process parin ang annulment.


girl 2 naman, mid 20s palang sya, he met the guy sa office and si guy (40s) married parin. living with his wife. ang alam ko naging rocky lang because of her (alam ko kasi ako ang pinaghihinalaan ni wife kaya ako ang kinausap and i had no idea back then kung sino nga ba girl ni guy LOL). ngayon nabuntis sya... i dont know if the wife knows pero ang alam ko is even before sya mabuntis, si guy dun parin naman umuuwi sa asawa nya. ang sinasabi lang ni guy is di daw sila tabi matulog etc... before hindi pa nya pinopost silang 2, but now na may anak na din sila, she posts her kid and the dad. sa totoo lang, mas naawa ako sa mga anak. the mom could take anything being said about her (di rin kasi ok work ethics ni girl so madami inis sa kanya). but the kid, di mo maiiwasan na hindi madamay yung bata sa galit ng ibang tao sayo. and yun lang, the dad will always be there for his kids (the mom will always be there too). iniisip ko palang nas-stress na din ako.


i think this kind of relationship, hindi pwede sa selosa (lalo na kung may kids) and very stressful. but alam ko naman you cant choose who you love. basta siguraduhin mo na lang siguro you wont end up in TULFO hahaha! and make sure na si wife is willing to let go of her husband and marriage for them is just a piece of paper. you wont be kabit if it's also over for the wife. i mean, that is kung mutual naman na hindi na nila mahal ang isa't isa...

[anhing]

You see, marriage isn't just about love. It's about security, it's about legal rights.

This!

Let me briefly share with you my story. When I met my partner, he was still married pero the annulment case has already been filed. On our second year, I got pregnant and his annulment was granted. Did we get married right after? No. Back then, we don't feel the need to get married. For us, it was just a piece of paper. Ten years after, we started acquiring assets. And because he has a kid from his previous marriage, I started asking how we can secure what's for our daughter. I mean, between the siblings we know walang gulo, hinde sila magkakagulo sa pera. But, I do not know his ex-wife. So for the security of our daughter, we decided to get married.

You see, getting married as sis simang said is not just about love especially kung may anak kayu.

[forumera]

^ sis mejo OT, may habol pa ba si ex wife sa properties ni ex husband na na acquire after annulment?

what if sa iyo lang naka name para secured properties mo sa inyo ng daughter mo?

[anhing]

^ sis mejo OT, may habol pa ba si ex wife sa properties ni ex husband na na acquire after annulment?

what if sa iyo lang naka name para secured properties mo sa inyo ng daughter mo?

Si ex-wife wala. But since my daughter is illegitimate and theirs is legitimate, dun mag-complicate yung story.

Kung saken naman naka-pangalan, may habol naman yung parents and siblings ku. Kumbaga, percentage lang yun sa anak namen instead of 100% sa kanya yung properties namen.

Well, lahat kase pwedeng i-argue sa technicalities ng batas. Yun ang iniwasan namen. My now husband is a lawyer btw, kaya yun din ang route na tinake namen. Kumbaga, less risky.

[fall2pieces]

Divorce is now approved in Congress. What's your opinion on this? Do you think it will be passed soon?

[bunnyhabit]

I date a married man on the side but would never entertain being faithful to a guy that cheats his wife. if my BF is away we go out but he knows is not a serious relationship. my BF travel often so i get lonely for companionship.

[AnnaBananas]

If he's already separated with his wife, just not annulled, because as you say, reasons... I mean, go for it.

So long as you're both in agreement naman that one day, he will get annulled, (or divorced! sana mapasa na nga...) and in the end, you both will get married.

So talk about it with your boyfriend, be open, basta lang dapat same page kayo, same goals.

Wag naman mag give up sa relationship just because wala syang pera mag pa annul. And we know that the annulment process in the Phils takes lots of money and lots of time. Kung regular person ka lang at hindi celebrity or uber rich, hindi nga sya madaling proseso.

I mean... life is short to not be with the one you love. Diba?

[fall2pieces]

 True sis.. life is too short for me to find another one na single nga pero di ko naman  love..

May agreement naman for him to get annulled or divorced in the future, problem lang nya kasi ngayon is wala pa syang funds for the annulment. Very open naman kami sa situation nya and gusto din nya ng freedom.

Di naman nagigive up sis dahil wala pa syang pera for that, willing to wait naman since need pa talaga mag-ipon para dun.

[kaythrielle]

Ingat lang sa mga ganyang promises...may kilala ako, ganyan din sinabi ng separated-married-guy sa kanya, hanggang umabot ng almost 10 years at tatlong anak, hindi pa rin nakaipon pang-annul, hanggang sa naghiwalay na lang din sila dahil may ibang babae na naman si lalaki. 😣

[Girltalker2]

Pag matagal na kayo nagsasama and Hindi parin sya annulled, ang hirap din.
What if may emergency and one of you is hospitalised and hospitals only allow next of kin/family?

May alam ngako the partner passed away, she still needs the relatives of the hubby para ma-claim Yung body and para sya mag prepare ng proper burial.

Sa Asia kasi they don?t recognise common law partners unlike Europe. Kaya being married is important, so Long as you truly love one another and plan to spend the rest of your lives together.