Author Topic: Leaving the Corporate World after 10 years to be a Stay At Home Mom, Advices  (Read 1024 times)

cheniwin

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Hi Mommies,

After all considerations and months of struggles and discussions, all events had led my husband and I to decide that I should quit my job and focus on raising our family of four.
It is not an easy decision, and as I am spending the last few months at work I hope someone who have gone through the same path would share advices and words that will encourage and help me as I move on to the next chapter of my journey as  a mom.
Thank you in advance mga mommies!
« Last Edit: October 02, 2019, 11:18:58 pm by cheniwin »

kaythrielle

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?Leaving the Corporate World for 10 years to be a Stay At Home Mom, Advices?

Do you mean to say that you will only be a stay at home mom for 10 years? Don?t worry sis time flies fast!
How old are your kids? If your kids are still young, by that time, teenagers na sila and you can go back to the corporate world.

Tips and advice:

- Just enjoy every minute you are spending with your kids. .

- Teach your kids how to be well-mannered. Mas matututukan mo na sila kasi SAHM ka.

- Have a schedule or system how to manage your household. Or not. It?s up to you whatever floats your boat.

- Lot of work ang SAHM, pero mas gagaan load if your husband will also help (unless may mga yaya or kasambahay kayo)

- Most importantly don?t forget to take care of yourself.

J.warner

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How old are your kids now? Are you overseas?
Honestly, being a full time mama is very difficult. If theyre still small, can you imagine looking after them all day everyday.. sometimes your sanity will be tested 😅 sa true lang sis.
Especially if youre from the corporate world regardless if its stressfull or not- mamimiss mo pa din yung office environment- yung lunch with coworkers, yung may nakakausap ka in person about everything, even yung pagaayos mo before going to work or pagme-make up..

The other commenter is right- dont forget to take care of yourself too- yun lang din maadvise ko.

cheniwin

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Thank you mamshies
I worked right after college without a break siguro nun nag maternity leave lang ako
My kids are 7 and 5, I worked at night most of the time. I tend to them in the morning before I go to sleep then review and prep them to bed before I left for work so most of the time na wala ako is at night na tulog sila
However their needs demands a lot from me na since both are going to school having all the projects, review sessions and assignments left me with no sleep at all. I felt weak na rin and unhealthy.
At work naman para akong tulala and half hearted in reality knowing I have a good career and friends to leave behind.

J.warner

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I used to work night shift too, I feel you.. my child is also 7 now. Ang hirap nga specially pag maliit pa. Alagain talaga.
Yung sister ko has 2 kids, but she cant stop working full time bec her husband is earning little. Dapat talaga pareho sila magwork. So ang nanyari di matutukan yung kids- one of them is even failing sa school particularly math, eh sa ateneo grade school di pwede yun. Nangarag sila. Yung youngest naman nila between age 7-9 laging mag isa sa bahay, girl pa naman. Sa ibang bansa bawal mag isa sa bahay ganyang edad.

However if u stopped working, you need to continuously pay SSS etc as voluntary member. Aside from taking care of kids, who will cook? Who will do the laundry? etc.
At first, it will be a big adjustment for you..
I suggest stick a routine for everyone- yung sched sa school what time- yung time for homeworks- time for play- time for dinner.
Ipaunawa mo sa kanila.
Dont forget to set aside me time for yourself too. Importante yan sis. Matutulog kang pagod but atleast kasama mo sila matulog and nandun yung fulfilment na nagawa mo yung dapat for them. 🤗

cheniwin

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I used to work night shift too, I feel you.. my child is also 7 now. Ang hirap nga specially pag maliit pa. Alagain talaga.
Yung sister ko has 2 kids, but she cant stop working full time bec her husband is earning little. Dapat talaga pareho sila magwork. So ang nanyari di matutukan yung kids- one of them is even failing sa school particularly math, eh sa ateneo grade school di pwede yun. Nangarag sila. Yung youngest naman nila between age 7-9 laging mag isa sa bahay, girl pa naman. Sa ibang bansa bawal mag isa sa bahay ganyang edad.

However if u stopped working, you need to continuously pay SSS etc as voluntary member. Aside from taking care of kids, who will cook? Who will do the laundry? etc.
At first, it will be a big adjustment for you..
I suggest stick a routine for everyone- yung sched sa school what time- yung time for homeworks- time for play- time for dinner.
Ipaunawa mo sa kanila.
Dont forget to set aside me time for yourself too. Importante yan sis. Matutulog kang pagod but atleast kasama mo sila matulog and nandun yung fulfilment na nagawa mo yung dapat for them. 🤗
Thank you sis, I almost broke into tears pag basa ko nun "at least kasama mo sila matulog" I do hope na makatulong ko si Husband sa house. I kept thinking my mom had 5 and full time wife sya all throughout. I look up to those na kinakaya. Thank you for all your advices, I really do appreciate them.

D4thAngel

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I agree with our sisses here. Being a stay at home mom would be your biggest achievement. Ang sarap ng pakiramdam ng mga bata pag nakikita nila na nakaka attend sa school activities ang mommy nila, napapanood mga program nila, sumusundo sa kanila. It makes them proud.  Minsan yung bunso ko umiiyak pagdating ko sa house, bakit daw hindi ko sya sinundo, yung busmate nya sinundo ng mommy, sya naiwan sa bus.  Nagkataon kasi may activity sa school nun. 

However, dapat clear kayo ni husband when it comes to financials. Sabi nga ng dati kong boss, dapat kahit pambili man lang ng lipstick wag iaasa sa asawa. I remember aattend ako sa wedding ng friend ko, buti may pang-gift ako. Kasi panay reklamo ng husband ko malayo yung pupuntahan, alangan naman na sya pa sumagot ng regalo. Of course you still need to go out with your friends. I swear maloloka ako pag di ako lumabas ng bahay. Clarify mo lang na dapat may sarili ka pa din allowance aside sa budget sa bahay. And yes, do take care of yourself. Bawal pumanget, bawal magkasakit. ;)
Surround yourself with people who encourage you, inspire you, and believe in your dreams.

twelvth_goddess

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A lot of people underestimate the hard work a stay at home mom does. Mag VL nga lang ako ilang days na wala talagang pupuntahan, nasisiraan ako ng ulo sa boredom plus doing all the chores. My daughter is already 9 years old and ever since she turned 3, nag stop nako mag hire ng yayas because nabbreak yung heart ko everytime I get betrayed. So I trained my daughter to be independent, plus my husband is very cooperative and helpful in the house. Also, my mom was still around until she passed away  last March :(

Anyway, kaya mo yan sis. But the first few months will be very trying for you. I'm pregnant with my 2nd child and iniisip ko kung kaya ba naming without a helper especially when I go back to work after my ML.

Make a schedule -- I'm sure it will be tough to stick to it but use it as a guide as to what you need to accomplish. Make sure to allot time for yourself. Yan ang hinde ko kaya ipagpabaya because I can't be a good mom and wife if I'm not good to myself too. Whether it be naps, workout, hobby, or whatever, 1-2 hours for yourself a day will do wonders.

I salute you sis, it's not an easy decision to make. If I were in your situation, I don't know if I can make that choice because I love working, I love dressing up for work, plus I earn more than my hubby. But at the end of the day, we need to make sacrifices for the welfare of our kids. At least mapapanatag ang loob mo dahil ikaw ang kasama and hinde ibang tao na mahirap pagkatiwalaan.
Whatever I want, I get. If I can't, I don't stop TRYING.

glamorosa_09

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Quote from: cheniwn
However their needs demands a lot from me na since both are going to school having all the projects, review sessions and assignments left me with no sleep at all. I felt weak na rin and unhealthy.
At work naman para akong tulala and half hearted in reality knowing I have a good career and friends to leave behind.

Hi TS, seems like your decision to resign is due to external factors, and not like coming from a desire to be a SAHM. Is that right? Nothing wrong with that naman, there really are women who are happier to be in corporate world, while there are others who prefer a SAHM life.

It's just difficult in your case because probably your career and your social circle have been big parts of your identity . And now, you're about to detach from that important part of you. Aside from the practical adjustments, there are the emotional and the psychological as well. Just allow yourself to grieve na lang din, the struggle will not be easy, but I'm sure it will be worth it if this is for your kids and your health.

Hindi naman ako corporate person, But I'm used to being active in ministries/ organizations and therefore have plenty of social activities. I find organizing projects that benefit a lot of people very fulfilling.

So since 8 years old na ako, akala ko makakapag part time na ako with my private practise (just finished my MA kasi last May) plus a bit of ministry works, but then found out I'm preggy, so back to 100% SAHM. We don't have yaya or helper, mas gusto ko ng kami lang.

So ito yung mga nakatulong saken and some of my suggestions...

Prayer of St Therese the child of Jesus

"O Jesus, I know well that You do not look so much at the greatness of my actions, as to the love with which I do them. I wish to make profit out of the smallest actions and do them all for love."

So from what I glean from it and from the spiritual books I read, God does not look at how big or how small a task that I do, but on how much love I put on it -- my love for God and  love for my family.

If you will learn to make every small task your gift offering to God, they become very meaningful.

Anyway, this suggestion is if you want to try to walk the spiritual path.

minimalistic lifestyle

Pag konti or limited to essentials lang yung mga gamit mo, kahit maiwanan mo ng overnight dahil pinili mo makipagbonding sa asawa mo or nagbinge ka sa netflix, hindi overwhelming yung chores na natambak. Hindi tornado ang bahay. Less stress, more time. You can read books on minimalism if you like.

Learning about effective storing and organizing of things maganda rin malaman.

train your kids with chores

Since, medyo malaki naman na ang mga anak mo, pwede mo sila pagawin ng 2-3 chores everyday. Stick to routine. Part of the discipline.

join organizations (church/fitness/volunteerism)

If you like, so you can still have life outside your family. Nasa school naman mga anak mo the whole day, so you have ample time.

Develop passion for parenting

There are things in life that are not taught in school such as financial literacy, emotion regulation, creating meaningful relationships, etc. I love reading books din on how to better understand and connect with my kiddo. You can take this time to focus on the values you want to instill in your children.

I guess that's all I can think of...
« Last Edit: October 04, 2019, 02:12:24 pm by glamorosa_09 »

kaythrielle

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I noticed you changed the title. So you mean to say pala you have worked for 10 years and leaving it all behind to be a SAHM. You can always go back to work naman, after a few years pag lumaki laki na sila.

I agree with sis glamorosa, since your kids are not that young, 5 and 7 can help you around the house.
A baby and a toddler without yaya medyo nakakaiyak pa talaga, but at that age, ok na yan. Start them young with helping.

Let them clean up their own mess, toys, kalat etc. already. Ex.they spilled water or milk, teach them to get a cloth and wipe it themselves. Ligpit toys after playing, etc

Folding of clothes, do it with them. Doesnt matter if hindi perfect pagtupi ng 5 yr old mo. Ang importante they are doing it with you.

Cooking, let your 7 yr old also help kahit yung simpleng pag-prepare at paghugas ng veggies.

If you cant do that on weekdays, do it on weekends. Those are just a few examples.
That?s what i did with my kids, so now they?re older they can do alot more. I dont fold our clothes anymore, it?s one of their responsibilities na. My eldest knows how to cook simple dishes, my youngest can prepare simple breakfast.

Read books to them every night if possible.. although i was able to do that more with my kids when they weren?t  going to school yet. Maybe you can do it on weekends. Now that time is our bonding time, when they tell me mga activities, what they did in school.

I was a fulltime SAHM for more than 10years  (i only worked for 5 years though, before leaving the corporate world, when i got pregnant with our eldest)...now im working part time kasi mejo malaki na kids ko.
So think of your being SAHM as a temporary thing and just appreciate the fact that you can spend time with them at that age. They grow up so fast.

Oh and don?t forget to include your husband. Sya ang panganay mo. Lol. Still make time for each other. Kaya babalik ako sa isa kong sinabi, don?t forget to take care of yourself. To keep your sanity. 😆 and have fun. It is fun...I actually enjoyed being a fulltime SAHM. 😊 i?m sure you will too.


cheniwin

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Thank you everyone! I fell grateful indeed . I am overwhelmed with all your thoughtful words and encouragement I am ready na talaga salamat salamat po

Girltalker2

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When I had 2 kids, sabi ko sa sarili ko mag r-resign nako if madagdagan pa. Hindi ko na kakayanin. kaso nung andun nako mismo sa kalagitnaan ng pag aalaga (2nd was barely 1yo), there were already some moments where I cried and wanting to. But of course if I had a choice I would have 5 kids and be a sahm.

I love the idea of being able to be there for your kids while they?re growing up. And kahit Na malalaki Na sila and independent,  Ikaw parin ang hanap - not for the chores but just for company.

I was in your situation before. But I Guess I was blessed (But has struggling moments too!) in a way Kasi I had very dependable Helpers. kaya nakakaya 2 kids while working. Tsaka we stay near my office, ito malaking factor din. Not to mention my work has flexi time din. Ito mga blessings ko noong araw Na I realised helped me survive. Kasi ang Asawa ko (Ex na now) earning well nga pero just giving me some money for house expenses, at walang alam sa house or kids except ruining their schedules kasi ?limited? lang ang free time nya and he wants to spend those times with the kids.

If you really want to continue working with 2 kids, kaya naman, but all other things around you require a lot of planning and coordination. Dapat mag cooperate din sila (hubby, maids, relatives mo parents and parents in law), work sched and requirements etc. Seems in your case, the support around you is not there.

oo I was in your place dati, thinking of resigning. Pero didn?t pursue that path Kasi when I had some reality check ... I had to stay working. Up Til now.malalaki Na sila And this is one of the major life decisions that I think I  made with no regrets and Super thankful I did not resign. But this is just in my case lang naman, Kasi nga dami tumutulong sakin along the way.

I?m amazed na nakayanan mo naman working when they were smaller and now they?re 5/7yos Na, Hindi Na Mas manageable? Iniisip ko baka you?re just in the wrong company/job/boss...

Anyway share ko Lang, in hindsight, IF I?m to resign for my kids, I will need 2 conditions:
1) I will make sure na ako ang recipient ng sweldo ng asawa ko, buong sweldo including bonuses. as I believe I?m making a huge sacrifice in resigning. If mambabae sya (which is so common these days), I still have his pay.

His pay is not only his. Share kayo dyan. Totoo sabi nila Na ultimo pambili ng lipstick kelangan mo pa ba hingin Kay hubby?
Sagot ko: hindi dapat! Kasi dapat sya mismo magkusa to pamper you!
You?re his PARTNER, Hindi katulong or utusan.

2) second condition ko : Dahil nga Hindi ako katulong. he should also help around the house and in rearing the kids, be in school events Also, etc at hindi Lang Ako.

Dapat klaro for both above.

Another advice is don?t lose yourself. Make sure to still have me-time for you to energize and recharge.


« Last Edit: October 12, 2019, 12:15:46 pm by Girltalker2 »

cheniwin

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Thank you so much Girltalker2  for your insight.
You are so lucky, unfortunately we don't have the village we needed and both our sides are from the province.  We are also not successful with our previous helpers.
As for handling finances, I combine our salaries and I budget everything.
We just started doing a dry run as if I am no longer earning. Currently using his salary to pay all the bills and spending. I use my money to spend for my transpo and daily allowance at work and the rest I save for our emergency fund.
My thought though that once I feel that his salary cannot alone support us, I am hopeful, fingers crossed to find a job near our place.
Parang kelangan ko ng maghoard ng make up, lotion, toiletries and kikay stuff while I am still getting pay-checks? hehe

super bratinella

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I am also working more than 11years and planning to work from home and also put up business, kaso next year pa ako plan mag resign pero ang hirap iwan ang nakasanayan at least ikaw you are on Step1 nakapag resign ka na so moving forward ka na sa Step2

Hindi na mahirap ngayon kumita at home if you fee the needs there is always an option to work from home.

Good luck and just be excited to the new phase of your life.
I am nobody.

Nobody is PERFECT.

Therefore, I am PERFECT!.

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