Breaking Up After 13 Years - How Do I Start Over?

[aoshi_01]

^Sis actually I signed up na sa Anytime Fitness kanina. My mom was the one who "sponsored" the initial payment. I start June 3.

I find it really therapeutic to speak with my mother. Yes, she doles out tough love (ever since as far as I can remember). But I know that she only has the best intentions for me.

I opened up to her about my self-pity episodes. She said na wag ko na panghinayanan yun, and the best way to deal with those voices in my head is to ayun nga, lose weight. She also said na it's been a week na, kailangan ko na mag "babang luksa".

I'm excited for this new change in my life. Things are looking up.

My promise still stands mga sis. Once I get over this, magpapa-pizza/inom ako.

[three8one]

pa subscribe! may libreng papizza at inum eh. haha! biro lang ma'am..

push na yang pagiging active sa gym!... mga ilang months kaya ma'am para ma achieve yung mala Scarlet Johansen (Black Widow) na body? abangers mode lang para sa success mo po! 

[aoshi_01]

^hahaha hindi ko naman balak mag ala Scarlett. Tabain ang genes na nakuha ko and my goal is to make my tummy smaller muna (mukha kaya akong 8 mos pregnant sa laki ng chanena ko 😂).

I believe it's safe to say na 10% nakakapag move on na ako.

Just this last week, nag pm sa akin one of our friends with words of encouragement and how I look better with the new hairstyle and colour. She also asked bakit kami naghiwalay. She said it does not add up daw.

I asked kung may kapalit na ako. And when she answered "Do you really wanna know?". Alam na this.

There was this girl who keeps on tagging him sa pictures and events. Pictures ng mga lunch dates (like what I used to post back when we were dating, pati anggulo) and mga pabebe sh*t like "thank you for getting the books from the top shelf kanina because I can't reach." Chweeeh.

The girl is one of our friends. Sinasama pa namin dati sa mga post-shift breakfast dates namin because she also works in Ortigas. Oh and he used to call her "mukhang autistic", no offense meant to people with autism. Oh, and the girl lives in a condo - so alam na.

Mukhang pinag sabay kami ni koyah. Syempre I'm mad, pero di na ako naapektuhan masyado. Downgrade kaya, sorry not being GGSS.

Nakakatawa pa is that I tweeted a quote about manipulators and said "You really live up to that self-imposed nickname you made up all those years ago. #PrinceOfLies". Guess what, he actually had the balls to like my tweet. Iba din.

It's still a long and unfamilliar road ahead of me. I cannot be grateful enough sa mga sis and bro na nag reply dito.

In case someone out there reading this is also feeling the same, please feel free to message me, we'll all get through this together ala High School Musical. Chos. 💙💙💙💙

[three8one]

^ okay lang yan ma'am.. good luck sa project mo na pagpapapayat. hehe! mas mapapabilis siguro pag move on kung di mo na aalamin yung mga ganap sa ex mo.

[iceheaven31]

aoshi_01:  on the other hand, i feel that at some point, good thing din na nalaman mo kung anong naging ganap, pero tama na siguro yang mga nalalaman mo, kasi if you dig through more, baka di na maging healthy sayo. kumabaga, ok, may 3rd party pala, move on na talaga, continue ang paganda and pasexy project.

basta take your time, and take things slow. lahat ng bagay na minadali, ay hindi tumatagal. pero i'm happy that you're finally having a more positive outlook after all of this. how we wish we can see a pic of you, i'm pretty sure you look dang gorgeous and talagang downgrade si kyah. hehe.

we're all in this together! hahaha! together hanggang sa magpa-pizza ka. lols.

[three8one]

basta take your time, and take things slow. lahat ng bagay na minadali, ay hindi tumatagal.

ito talaga ang makakapag pa motivate kay TS.... 

we're all in this together! hahaha! together hanggang sa magpa-pizza ka. lols.

ito naman sa mga avid fans... haha! nice one ma'am iceheaven31

[plumpolka]

Downgrade kaya, sorry not being GGSS.

FELT THIS! hahahaha! same with my ex HAHAHA!

ang maia-advice ko lang sayo cyst (kahit feel ko ok ka naman na), is to love yourself. tama yan! mag gym ka... do everything you have to do para magpaganda lalo. yung magiging GGSS ka sa sarili mo!!! it may seem shallow but 1st step to self-love is admiring what you see in the mirror. everything will fall into place once alam mo na yung value mo at yung ganda mo! PROMISE! hahaha (ako naman ang ginawa ko, lagi akong may bagong dress. nung may jowa kasi ako lagi ako naka dress down and nung nag break kami, i always dress up. consistent yan hanggang ngayon! hahaha. but now i have to stop buying dress, na-adik naman ata ako :p)

and aside from the physical transformation, giving yourself a break also helps. wag mo sisishin sarili mo sa mga nangyari. always forgive yourself bago ka matulog. if you think you did something na hindi mo nagustuhan, you were out of control or something, forgive yourself and just do better in the morning. never be too harsh on yourself. -emotional care

change your perspective in life as well. if something bad happens sayo, ang isipin mo is yung good side on why it happened. like in my case, when i feel sad about my past relationship, ang sinasabi ko sa sarili ko is "my life is so much better without him" (which is true dahil sobrang stressful naman talaga nung samin) and that God has a better plan, He's preparing me for something GREAT. always be thankful to God for everything and TRUST Him. -spiritual care

that's how i take care of myself now and im really happy with how i am today. na-realize ko na nobody's gonna take care of me or help me other than myself. family natin will just be there to support us but the initiative must be from us. i'll be cheering for you, someday makikilala din natin ang para sa atin...in God's perfect time! *cheers sa mga pinalit satin na pangit!* (charot!)

[aoshi_01]

three8one - stahp calling me "ma'am". 36 is not old. Sir.

iceheaven31 - hiya ako magpakita ng pic ko hihih. pero sa tamang panahon siguro chararat.

plumpolka - retail therapy is also something I'm doing as well, cyst. Dati nung kami pa, although hindi naman niya pinapakialamanan what I earn. Everytime magpupunta ako sa Temptation Island (you know them, Forever21, Watson's, etc). Lagi na lang naka busangot and says na napaka impulsive spender ko. Now, I treat myself with affordable new clothes pag payday.

Laughter, I think is also helping. Nag-mamarathon ako ng RuPaul's Drag Race since season 1. Dami ko rin napulot na makeup tips. The world is better with drag queens talaga.

I am claiming that as well, na God is preparing something better for me. I just hope the next would be the one. I think I cannot deal with another heartbreak anymore.

[three8one]

three8one - stahp calling me "ma'am". 36 is not old. Sir.

ah okay... uhmmm.. Sir na lang din? hehe.. biro lang..  aoshi_01 na lang 

[iamaiko]

hi sis aoshi kamusta ka naman po? ive seen this thread po. i also had breakup po with my 10 year relationship. what is the best advice po you could give? ang messy ng break up namin as in

[aoshi_01]

hi sis aoshi kamusta ka naman po? ive seen this thread po. i also had breakup po with my 10 year relationship. what is the best advice po you could give? ang messy ng break up namin as in

Hi sis. Sorry, ngayon ko lang nabasa to. Mag-iisang taon na pala yung breakup namin. How time flies.

Totoo yung cliche, time heals all wounds.

2019 really tested me. Si kuya, ang ending after nung isang girlalu, binalikan yung isang ex niya September. December, kasama ako sa na-redeploy sa office.  Ginawa ko lang was, I sort of rekindled my relationship kay God. I can't believe I'm saying this, hindi naman ako religious amen amen praise the Lord type.

Ang maa-advise ko lang sis, TRUST THE PLAN. Explore things outside of your comfort zone (pagkatapos na ng ECQ ha). Kaya nga medyo imberna ako kasi ang daming plano for 2020 namin ng mga officemates ko. I've never been to La Union, balak sana namin kaso Corona happened.

Also, dress up everyday as if you would cross paths with him. Improve yourself. When you hit rock bottom - the only way is up.

Oh, and nangyari na nga yung nagkasalubong kami during an event. Kasama niya yung pinalit niya sa akin. Surprisingly, I felt nothing. Siguro kasi may kasama ako and was having fun, dedma. They both looked miserable anyway.

I'm not saying that 100% over him na ako. There are still days when I still ask myself saan ako nagkulang. I just find comfort in the fact that there are things I can freely do now without someone passive-agressively contradicting me.

One day at a time, sis. One big hug.

[france321]

This is what I'm afraid of, ending a long term relationship.
I can't image how will I deal with it.

We are currently experiencing issues in our 6th year, but I myself is trying to deal with it calmly. I don't know on his side, as h don't really talk much when it comes to discussion about our relationship. Maybe he is just very busy with work or thinking about the future with the current situation.

Well, I would totally agree with that "one day at a time", d mo kakayanin kung isang bagsakan, ang bigat nyan.
But remember this, there's a lot of fish in the ocean, the right one will be yours at the right time.

[fifi_girl]

Yes, sobrang totoo yung cliche na Time heal all wounds. Well, in my case, i'm still on the process of healing. It came to a point na napagod na lang din talaga ako sa kanya.

This trial has really tested my faith. Minsan, dumarating pa din yung lunkgot, but i don't let myself drown in it. I let myself feel the pain and loneliness, but it just naturally passes by.

If there is one thing that is helping me get through this is my Faith in God. I lifted everything up to him, yung mga bagay na alam kong wala na kong control. And i never felt so relieved. I know in my heart that he is fighting my battles, i know he is at work. The waiting maybe taking too long, but i always trust his perfect timing 

And always remember, if it is written in the book of the Almighty that you are meant to be together, God will definitely make a way.