Hi!, I'm yumi. 24y/o and currently living with my partner of 8 years. We have a blissful life together as a couple although we sometimes argue about little things sometimes, which is normal. We have a great sex life, he always make sure he provides me a good one whenever we do it. We started making love after our 5th year anniv. and after a month he confess something to me, which shock my whole being. He was ironing my clothes during that time when he say he wants to talk to me. Later that night he confessed that he has been molested 2x during his childhood by a relative and a family friend. The first time is by his cousin during his elementary days and the second one is during his highschool days. No one from his family knows anything about this, since he was threathen that if he speaks about it, their life will be in danger and of course he is ashamed of what happen because he didn't do anything to protect himself. This is the first time he talks about this to a listener, only I have the chance to know about it. His reasons in disclosing this matter to me is for him to be completely honest with me. I completely understand him though with great sadness about the trauma he've been through, I still love him even more. To think that we're still together until now. To cut the long story short, a couple of times that I caught him, interacting with other Males whether it be via chat, text, or video call. Name it, I witnessed it. It hurts me a lot until now, witnessing it, and hearing him talking to someone which he claims that these males understands him, which encourage him to talk to them even more. There is a time that I caught him texting a certain 'josh' I don't know if it's his real name, cause as far as I know my boyfriend also didn't disclose his real identity when doing that. After confronting him I demand a break-up but he pleads to death not to leave him cause he loves me so much. I forgive him and give our relationship a chance to grow and prosper. But a couple of this things still happens. One time he talk to me again since I caught him video chatting with another Male, he then talks to me seriously. He said he's not happy anymore and he wants to get back his old self again, according to him, he didn't want to be a bisexual. He claims that this is the result of his experiences before since he experience molestation when he's younger. He's now confused to his sexuality. He said that he loves me still but not that much unlike before and if we continue this, a lot of this things kept on happening not until he found out what he really wants. He loves me so much that he don't want me to keep on hurting seeing him like that, so he decide to cut ties with me. He can't promise me that he can't do it again, since it's his body aching for it.
The problem is, I don't want to leave him like this, I don't want him to be like that, cause I know he's not what he feel right now. He's just confuse. Anyways he currently don't have a job as of the moment for about a month now. Even though I'm aching and crazily overthinking inside, I still cared for him and still nurture him to the best that I can. I provided him everything as of the moment, money for house rental/electricity/food/gym expenses/toiletries etc.. My love for him is still stronger than he's flaws.
I hope I can still save our relationship and still get he's love only for me 100% just like before.
I will appreciate if I can get some of your views/take and advise on this.
Thank you so much.
Yours truly,
-Yumi2012
