Author Topic: Torn between moral and financial issues  (Read 1899 times)

mami violy

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Torn between moral and financial issues
« on: November 19, 2018, 01:03:29 pm »
Just need to unload the burden I have. Our Tatay were been diagnosed cancer in 2012, we have done everything to extend his life up to beyond our financial capacity other word baon na kami sa utang.  he was been hospitalised for 2 months at umabot ang hospital bill namin ng Php1M di pa kasama [textspeak!] mga medicines nya at private nurse na request ni tatay kasi di raw sya comfortable sa service na binibigay ng hospital. Nailabas namin sya ng ospital thru promissory note, nasa bahay na lang sya kc sabi ng doctor [textspeak!] na kaming magagawa pa sa condition nya kundi intayin na lang [textspeak!] araw nya. Uwi ng bahay pero may mini-hospital kami sa bahay pero habang tumatagal palaki ng palaki [textspeak!] gastusin. We suggest na tanggalin [textspeak!] private nurse nya kasi sobrang laki na talag ang gastusin ayaw naman tanggalin ng tatay ko ang private nurse kasi sabi nya mas kampante sya kapag meron nun. Almost every month we are spending 75K sa gamot nya every month, 3.8K sa private nurse every day, oxygen nya is 2K every day wl pa dito [textspeak!] weekly check up sa hospital at daily expenses ng magulang ko. Me & my kapatid both admit na we cannot sustain this, both of us have our own family as well and we are really living daily na may utang every day..naisanla na lahat ng alahas ng parents namin. We are both in torn kung pano sasabihin sa tatay namin na hindi na namin kaya financially even he is fully aware sa lahat ng gastusin at minsan pa nga sabi nya wag isangla ang alahas nya kasi yun na lang daw ang meron sya pero kami ng kapatid ko wala na din mailalabas kc employee lang kami pareho. though working ako overseas pero [textspeak!] na din.
Bed ridden na ang father ko makikita na hirap na hirap na sya pero he is still fighting for his life, he is still afraid to die...
sinabihan na ako ng kapatid ko na ako ang magsabi sa tatay namin na hindi na namin kaya i-sustain [textspeak!] daily medical need nya specifically [textspeak!] nurse. at sabi pa ng kapatid ko ako na din ang kumausap na di na kailangan lumaban sa buhay kasi ok na kami, we can live on our own (actually even when he is still not been diagnose we are been doing on our own, we dont ask for financial help to our parents kasi di naman kami mayaman or may-kaya sa buhay)
any insights on how to deal on this
Were going on a trip with our favorite rocket ship thru the blue sky little einstein were going on a mission start to count now 5..4..3...2..1... everyone to rocket grab and hold now...

Girltalker2

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Re: Torn between moral and financial issues
« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2018, 02:50:11 pm »
Sis so sorry to hear about your dad.

Since nabanggit nyo masyado mataas monthly expenses for your dad?s medication and care, what is affordable sa inyong magkapatid?

Then what is the alternative if wala Kayong private nurse?
Try to iron out an alternative plan na Mas afford nyo and yun ang sabihin mo sa dad mo. Coz ang dating if you just tell him you can?t afford, eh parang you will just withdraw everything and leave him on his own. Which we know na di naman puede or di rin kakayanin ng conscience mo.

Explore other alternatives like baka puede full time helper nalang and Yung private nurse bibisita nalang 2x a day. For the medication, talk to the doctor, baka May cheaper alternatives or consult kayo sa mas affordable doctor, etc.


mami violy

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Re: Torn between moral and financial issues
« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2018, 07:17:17 pm »
sis thanks for reply

oo naman hindi namin lahat pull-out, feeling kasi namin once na magsabi kami na stop na ang private nurse..dadamdamin ng tatay as in magsasabi na naman sya na hayaan na lang sya...kasi pabigat naman talaga sya..gusto na nyang mamatay..as in madami ng drama na kung minsan gusto mo na din sabihin kung iniisip nya din ba kaming mga anak nya na baon na halos sa utang...minsan nga di na namin alam san kukunin [textspeak!] panggastos sa araw-araw...tapos sasabihin pa nya minsan di namin sya naiintindihan..
Were going on a trip with our favorite rocket ship thru the blue sky little einstein were going on a mission start to count now 5..4..3...2..1... everyone to rocket grab and hold now...

TomHansen

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Re: Torn between moral and financial issues
« Reply #3 on: November 19, 2018, 11:32:38 pm »
Sis I think nagawa niyo na ng mga kapatid mo ang responsibilities niyo sobra sobra pa nga. Sa panahon ngayon di na biro yung mga ginastos niyo at hindi niyo naman gagawing i let go yung nurse kung hindi talaga kayo nahihirapan. Mas mabuti sabihin na lang sa kanya ng diretso, kahit alam niya naman na masyadong malaki ginagastos niyo walang masama kung ipaalala uli sa kanya na nahihirapan din kayo. Ipaalam niyo rin na hindi porket wala na yung nurse pinapabayaan niyo na siya at hindi niyo siya mahal at naiintindihan, kailangan lang maging praktikal hindi naman pinupulot ang pera. I'm sure sa umpisa lang maninibago siya pero after a few days masasanay na siyang walang nurse.

Sino bang kasama niya sa bahay sis?
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junepets

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Re: Torn between moral and financial issues
« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2018, 07:00:49 pm »
My Dad passed away this year because of cancer din. Few months later, brother ko naman... cancer din.

Ako hangga't kaya ko financially, I did, til their last breath.

Dun sa condition ng kapatid ko, he was on support na lang. Medicine na lang nagpapatibok ng puso nya.. Oxygen manual na lang din.

Nun time na nagdecide na kami to stop na, ang hirap. ang sakit. kasi nakikita naming my brother was fighting for his life. Just before his last meds na maubos, he had his last breath.

Sakin hangga't kaya sis. It's good that your dad is fighting for his life.
Til now ang sakit pa rin nag pagkakawala nila. Most especially my  brother, our youngest.

In a way sinisisi ko pa rin sarili ko.. kulang ba ginawa ko financially? kung may ganito ba kong pera I  can still make him live?

Just enjoy every moment he is still with you. Tell him you love him. Ibigay lahat ng gusto.

In that way, he will be gone happy.
first love is important but last love is VERY VERY important.... because first love teaches what is love and last love teaches WHAT IS LIFE.

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twinbee

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Re: Torn between moral and financial issues
« Reply #5 on: November 24, 2018, 01:08:45 am »
laban mo, sis, buhay ng tatay mo..
di mo rin alam kung anong effort ginawa nya sa inyo nung paslit pa kayo makasurvive din kayo..
ask God for strength and guidance.
Either my ibang tutulong sa inyo or need nyo magdagdag ng income
make him feel na mahal nyo sya, na nilalaban nyo sya..
kasi sis pag nawala yan, may pagsisi.

bigla ko tuloy naalama mom ko, sinabihan kami ng doctor na, machine na lan nagpagana sa kanya, if okey daw sa amin na ipatangal na yung machine.
I SAID NO! kasi sabi, dok, hamo mama ko magsabi kung hanggan san lang sya.
sabi ko, bakit ako gigive up, kung mama ko mismo di bumibigay. ilalaban ko..
hanggan sa nawala sya. na maluwag sa dibdib ko.
kahit nasa ICU at least may chance ako makausap ko sya, mahalikan, mayakap.
do the same sa father mo din. tawagan mo sya from time to time

huling baraha mo na arugain ng tatay mo..
Good luck sis, kaya ng family nyo yan.. basta sama sama


izabelle

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Re: Torn between moral and financial issues
« Reply #6 on: December 23, 2018, 09:59:00 pm »
I think yung private nurse lang naman ang tatanggalin? Meron na ba kayong naisip sis na ibang pwede mag alaga sa dad nyo?

Mabigat ang expenses and sometimes, kahit gaano natin kagusto ibigay lahat sa parents at tumulong until the end, we also have to think na may sarili na tayong family na kailangan din ng support natin lalo na if you have kids na.
The less you respond to rude, critical, argumentative people, the more peaceful your life will become. :)

ycel0612

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Re: Torn between moral and financial issues
« Reply #7 on: December 30, 2018, 05:23:55 am »
Try to fast and pray to ask God to help you out on this one.

 


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