^ yikes ang gross naman nyan, walang breeding? di marunong mag-toilet?
Relationships are NOT black and white. Relationships are complicated. You can not switch feelings off overnight, even for someone who wants to end the relationship, a lot of pain and thinking, even strategizing, is involved.
My Brother-in-law (BIL) just informed me he is not inviting his GF to our church wedding. i asked him kasi how to spell the name of his GF for our invitations. Shookt kame ni hubby because it's a big deal. They live together in a foreign country and have been having issues but are generally okay. The GF always confides in me... but i don't meddle and say anything, just listen and give GENERAL advice. THEY both know their relationship is heading nowhere, but both of them seem to be in denial..perhaps because they are in a foreign country and only have each other there, perhaps its the logistics of living together, or the complexity when the expat community there is so small and tiyak magkikita pa rin sila.
My MIL and [textspeak!] (parents of my husband and BIL) both know in their gut, wala na yung relationship but they can not interfere.. they both told their son (my BIL) hiwalayan na nya si girl if he doesn't see a future. Meanwhile the gf talks to me always and complains a lot and tells me she's been seeing other guys only as friends... friends kuno... oh please, i was not born yesterday... she's been going on tinder to test the market because she's afraid to be alone, so holding on sa BF nya, but hoping may ma-meet sya na iba, para hindi nya ma-feel ang pain of a break-up and just quickly move on to someone else. She sends me screenshots of her convo with her friends where the friends are telling her if hindi na sya happy, iwan na lang nya bf nya if she feels the relationship is not in tact anymore.. but she doesn't want to leave, so pretend pa rin sila na okay sila when WE ALL KNOW THEY ARE HEADED NOWHERE.
Now, because I know she's on Tinder (her NARRATIVE to me is that "just trying to make new friends, i always tell the guys i meet i have a bf"), i had to tell my husband because i feel absolutely racked by guilt.. i don't want to be an accessory to a crime even if we all have a gut feeling they will eventually break up.
Now, husband and i are fighting about it because husband wants to tell his brother (fair enough!). I said, please don't, because we should not meddle... she told me all her problems in confidence and in the event they SOMEHOW work out their relationship, she will FOREVER hate me for betraying her. She MIGHT be my future sister-in-law and it would not be nice if we have a bad relationship... the things she told me in confidence are NOT nice, but they need to resolve their problems on their own, without anyone meddling....
Husband agreed with me and we stopped arguing, kasi nga, ayaw namin ng gulo sa family. Even if we THINK they will eventually break up, we DO NOT KNOW THAT WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY. A miracle might happen and maging okay sila... if that happens, i want to have a good relationship with my potential SIL, not a bad one.
But, because my BIL confirmed to us he will be attending our wedding ALONE, alam na this -- that it's truly over... so now AWAY nanaman kame ni husband because hubby wants to tell him once and for all, to pre-meditate the break-up na... pati relationship namin ng hubby ko affected dahil may two people uncertain and afraid to break-up... and we feel we need to do the right thing.
Relationships are complicated. They are not black and white. So now my dilemma is, do we tell my BIL about the Tinder-rama of his GF? or do we keep our silence and let them resolve their own issues on their own pace/time? sigh.
