Cheating in a relationship

[Apple1230]

Because of social media and online dating new issues and rules regarding a committed relationship/ marriage applies. My question is what can you consider as cheating in this modern age of the internet

A little background about my situation. Ex and i got back together less than a month pa lang. i used to do online dating so there are guys that i gave my number to in the past and lately i have been getting messages from them. Almost everyday i get a message but i don't reply. Seen zone lang..

There is this guy though,  he is a former actor celebrity, he was very big during his time. We met in a class several years back, when the class was almost over he asked me out and we dated for a while. Through the years we remained friends and fb friends.  latey he has been messaging me again. I would reply kasi friends naman kame. harmless yung conversations and wala naman hint na he wants to start dating again. I tell him stuff to turn him off and only see me as a platonic friend kasi yun lang naman kaya ko ma-offer.

Is it wrong to communicate with him? if it's the other way around and si bf may nag me-messsage na girl and he replies is he cheating on me? para sa inyo kelan mo masasabi na nag cheat ang partner mo since now more than ever it is easier to stay connected with anyone in any parts of the world. What is your tolerance level sa online activity ng partner niyo?

   

[kaythrielle]

Does your bf know about your communication with this guy? If not, why not? If he does, is it ok with him?

I think answers from those questions can determine whether it is cheating or not.



For me, the line that draws the difference between cheating and just plain exchanging of messages is transparency.

Meaning, not keeping it a secret from the partner; being open about it from the start. That way, there will be no room for it to become romantic.

Because if your Bf is updated, of course at some point, ma-gauge nya kung innocent [textspeak!] lang ba or nagiging too close for comfort na ang supposedly innocent messages and chat mo with another guy. And masabihan ka na itigil yan. Same goes if it is him exchanging messages with another girl. Para sa kanya wala lang pero para sayo nilalandi na pala sya. Masabihan mo agad.

So if the person is keeping it a secret to his/her partner, malaki chances na cheating yun.

But of course, that?s just my pov.

[chinablue]

For me naman, it also depends on the intention. It's alright if once in a while may kumustahan. May pinagsamahan naman kayo. It's totally normal to catch up with friends whom you haven't talked to for a long time. Pero if everyday kayo nag uusap iba na yun. Even though he enjoys talking to you, dapat may limitations pa din kasi you're in a relationship na. For me kasi it will make me really uncomfortable if malalaman ko na my partner is regularly talking to someone of the opposite sex. It's ok if business or work-related yung pag-uusapan pero if chat chat lang it's a no no for me. Sometimes what we perceive as innocent may lead to something that can destroy our relationships later on. Put your self on the shoes of your partner sis. I think it's best if you lessen the communication na lang.

[simang]

^^agree

I think it's cheating when you're consciously hiding it from your partner.

Also if you're trying to convince yourself that it's nothing, then it's most likely cheating.

[Miss Taken]

I think the moment you question yourself if what you're doing is considered as cheating is already an indication that you know something is not right.

In my opinion, if you're committed to someone then you shouldn't put yourself in a situation that can jeopardize your relationship with your partner. It is okay to have friends of the opposite sex but if you're constantly talking to this person only, there's a high chance that you will eventually get attached especially if magkaron kayo ng understanding ng bf mo tapos he will be the one you'll confide in.

para sa inyo kelan mo masasabi na nag cheat ang partner mo since now more than ever it is easier to stay connected with anyone in any parts of the world. What is your tolerance level sa online activity ng partner niyo?

I would consider it cheating if he started chatting with other girls kasi kilala ko yung boyfriend ko na hindi siya talaga pala chat and he doesn't have close female friends. So if napansin ko or na discover ko na may ka chat siya then it's definitely cheating.

I'm open to porn, I don't consider it as cheating. Okay lang saken na manood siya plus he only likes hentai lol. May mga friends kasi ako na nagagalit sa mga partner nila na nanonood ng porn and they would consider it as cheating na daw.

That's why communication is really important. Cheating can be "subjective" so you have to make sure na you and your partner are on the same page in order to avoid conflicts.

[kutitapkiss]

I think the moment you question yourself if what you're doing is considered as cheating is already an indication that you know something is not right.

exactly.

ask yourself, kung bf mo gumagawa nyang ginagawa mo now, ok lang ba sayo?

[Apple1230]

Hi thanks for all your replies. I was not able to get back dahil naging busy na din.

Anyway, hindi nag work sa amin ni bf due to his work. It was just a really busy time for him nag ta-transition kasi company nila and they need to act fast or else their company will be gone. I understand naman and we agreed to stay friends. But i told him i will start dating kasi may mga invites na ako.

About kay ex celebrity guy we are still chatting, he always asks to see me almost every day nag me-message but i sense na booty call lang so hindi ko na pinapansin. Lately parang mas serious na siya mas malalim na mga pinag uusapan namin pero hindi pa rin ako magpapakita sa kanya. I can offer friendship lang and nothing more. 

[Kalessia]

wow

[Amadeya1990]

In fact, I do not believe that chat on Facebook with the opposite sex is cheating. Especially if it's not flirting chat. I wouldn't worry about that if I were your partner. In general, I think that trust is the most important quality in any relationship. Unfortunately, I didn't think so before, so I was often jealous and didn't trust my boyfriend. It lasted six months until he decided to break up with me. At first, I didn't understand what was the reason for the breakup of our relationship but this site http://breakupangels.com/tag/men / helped me realize my mistakes.