Shopping Addiction Anonymous

[lalee888]

I am officially a shopaholic. I am starting this thread in the hope that some of you ladies (and gents too) can share resources to curb the shopping addiction, or maybe just to "speak out loud" and shame/guilt ourselves by posting our latest buys - as someone told me, it might help me become more accountable for it and community help might also curb my appetite to shop.

This does not mean we will shame each other, but perhaps remind one another BETTER ways the money could have been used for or just putting things into better perspective.

Any tips how you guys control your urge to shop? Any advice or alternative "habits" or distractions to avoid the shopping appeal?

Today, I started the following (after I first purchased shoes online - omg):

1. Used unroll.me https://unroll.me/ to unsubscribe from mailing lists, including deals, and sale alerts
2. Put my favorite shopping apps (i have about 20, i think, excluding websites that do not have apps) in a folder so it's not on my main screens (BABY STEPS - next will be to delete them)
3. Confessed the problem to my husband who will try to help me

Any advice and resources mga sis, short of seeing a shrink?

[kvandenhaak]

^If you want drastic measure, cut the credit card.

Or you can just use cash or debit as starter. I heard people tend to be more careful when they use cash instead of credit card.

[TysLolakins]

i'm (myName) and i'm a shopaholic too    .


my problem really is I obsess over a certain item and hunt for it relentlessly on shopping sites and physical stores.  but sometimes once i have purchased it,  the excitement is gone,  buyer's remorse kicks in even while i'm still at the store. 


one thing that helped me a lot is REMOVING the credit card information on all the shopping sites i frequently visit and  leave the CCs at home.  i can still browse but the cc is not readily available.


more to come.

[lalee888]

Thanks both sisses! I'm not ready for those next steps yet... (credit card removal and stuff), although they are great advice.

Being on GT and other forums do tend to help so I'm distracted and not checking websites on my computer naman.

I also JUST deactivated all my sale alerts and removed all products on my wish lists so i don't get notified. Hopefully I get by ONE WEEK without buying anything!

Also, my husband told me to monitor my online activity (browsing shopping sites) and start with reducing it.. he will show me how tonight (i think there's an IT way to do so).

[hisana]

It would help to identify the main cause, kung you shop ba because you're bored, stressed, malapit nakatira sa mall, easily swayed by salespeople, cannot resist a sale, not a smart shopper, etc.  Then you can look for alternatives.

Sa akin kasi it's a combination of getting rid of boredom (or maybe underlying anxiety?) and also I'm nadadala lagi sa hype/marketing/uso, haha. Plus wala kasi akong concrete, written-down plan on better things to do with my money, so I tend to fritter it away on unnecessary stuff.

[kvandenhaak]

In fairness, at least marami kang pang-shopping...lol! Ako, I have to follow a strict budget so kung ano lang talaga ang kaya ng budget, yun lang. Ang daming talagang temptation but it gives me anxiety attack pag wala akong naitabi kahit $100 man lang every month. How I wish that day comes when I don't even have to check if it fits the budget when shopping...lol! Ang takeaway ko lang is bayad palagi in full ang credit card bills ko.

Pero tama nga yung sabi ng isang sister natin, you have to ask yourself why you have to have that thing you want to purchase. Maybe it will make you think twice. Or kung meron kang gustong bilhin, ipagpabukas mo muna and see if you still have that urge.

[lalee888]

It would help to identify the main cause, kung you shop ba because you're bored, stressed, malapit nakatira sa mall, easily swayed by salespeople, cannot resist a sale, not a smart shopper, etc.  Then you can look for alternatives.

Sa akin kasi it's a combination of getting rid of boredom (or maybe underlying anxiety?) and also I'm nadadala lagi sa hype/marketing/uso, haha. Plus wala kasi akong concrete, written-down plan on better things to do with my money, so I tend to fritter it away on unnecessary stuff.

sis i've been stewing on this for a while, wondering what is up with my "addiction" and while i'm not too sure yet, i think i just could not resist a good sale. The month of May has so many good sales and deep designer discounts and i'm addicted to finding steals and hunting for my wish list items at a bargain... to the point that i returned full-priced item, just to buy them again at the discounted price even -- i mean that's a smart move but also risky if the item is rare/hard to covet.

I do most of my shopping online, and sometimes by text to Sales Associates I trust who can help me locate special items.

Have you had any luck/success controlling your urge to shop? I like your point about just not having any actual plan for my money. Maybe if I do, i'd end up shopping less!

[lalee888]

In fairness, at least marami kang pang-shopping...lol! Ako, I have to follow a strict budget so kung ano lang talaga ang kaya ng budget, yun lang. Ang daming talagang temptation but it gives me anxiety attack pag wala akong naitabi kahit $100 man lang every month. How I wish that day comes when I don't even have to check if it fits the budget when shopping...lol! Ang takeaway ko lang is bayad palagi in full ang credit card bills ko.

Pero tama nga yung sabi ng isang sister natin, you have to ask yourself why you have to have that thing you want to purchase. Maybe it will make you think twice. Or kung meron kang gustong bilhin, ipagpabukas mo muna and see if you still have that urge.

i would not say marami, just comfortable but regardless it's not wise. i have savings and investments separate from my husband, plus retirement plan. He also has the same then we have joint accounts too.

However, my addiction has gone through the roof this past month that i spent more than my monthly allowance for shopping. The net effect is that this month, i'm likely going to have credit card debt (i usually don't carry card debt). I can pay it off in full in a month or two, or i can pull from my personal savings now to pay it off. Either options are not that bad, but they are not good either. I'm afraid that i'm getting too comfortable spending and not worrying about the future, and that's not good. I want to stay disciplined and be able to sustain that discipline for our future kids. I want to live WAY below our means, not TOO comfortable. Sigh.

[alice_alice]

I'm Alice and I'm a shopaholic.

Impulse buyer ako, anything I see basta may word na sale, I get tempted.

If I'm not at the malls, I tend to shop online shopee, lazada, zalora, beautymnl even sa IG if meron akong nagustuhan I buy. Small purchases lang though if you compute it malaki laki na rin.

If I'm stressed, retail therapy agad. If I'm happy, I'll reward myself with anything I can see online or sa mall. If sad ako bibili ako para sumaya ako.

So what I'm doing to combat this addiction is di ako nagoonline para di ako matempt bumili, or pupunta ako sa websites na walang ads so I won't see na may sale or promo sa ganito ganyan.

Hinde pa ako ready to cut my CC. I cannot. 

[hisana]

Have you had any luck/success controlling your urge to shop? I like your point about just not having any actual plan for my money. Maybe if I do, i'd end up shopping less!

After several years pa of too much spending did I finally wise up! Dati naman I tried to budget and curb my spending lalo na yung umabot na ng mga 100k a year (cringe) yung nagastos ko on skin, hair and makeup alone -- na sa totoo lang na less than 1/4 lang ang macoconsider ko na good buys; the others were hindi ako hiyang or no effect lang or I just bought because the product ad looked great and promising. Hindi pa kasama ang clothes sa computation. Buti na nga lang hindi ako mahilig masyado sa shoes and bags, kundi out of control na. Kaya lang I would miss the high I get sometimes when shopping, so I set what I thought was a reasonable shopping budget, cash only, bawal gamitin ang card. I avoided browsing both in store and online if I didn't really need to buy naman, kasi kahit sabihin ko na titingin lang, I usually end up getting something, because they're gonna throw every marketing/psychological trick they have to get you to buy, so kung mahina ang self-control, you know what happens next! Also every month, I examine what items I already have para I can reflect on what I've spent and kung worth it ba, para iwas mindless shopping and hoarding din. I mean, at one point, I had 20+ tubes of high-end lipstick na nag-expire lang din yung iba. Mga ganung situations. I revisit my old items na nakalimutan na, binili pero hindi ginamit (I'm sure we all have these), and try to renew my interest with that purchase. That way, I can kind of fool myself into thinking that I have this "new" item to distract myself with. (That's just me ha, medyo weird yung ganito, I know.)

Nowadays kasi I'm planning on buying my first major property kaya todo budgeting and strategizing ang kailangan. Na-shift yung focus ko from acquiring pretty/shiny/small stuff to this goal that I think would really benefit me more. Sayang nga, if I had been smarter with my money, I could've bought it in full already, so I always think about that, na nasa huli ang pagsisisi talaga, haha.

[lalee888]

sis @alice hello and welcome to the shopaholic club.. how did you feel after your last impulse buy?

looking forward to helping each other with our addictions, it's rehab time!

sis hisana you pointed out exactly what was in my head.. i read your reply last night and then i opened my make-up drawer and saw endless tubes of lipstick.. i then sorted them out and figured which ones i got as a gift, free and which ones i actually bought and used. i also looked at all my cosmetics and felt a pang of guilt and thought i should really only get what i need.

for skincare naman, i don't feel guilty as i always use them all up and then i stick to what i like/works for me.

i also cringed sis, looking at my stacks of make-up and shoes.. sigh. anyway my husband and i agreed that from now on, i will only buy shoes that are "smart buys" meaning styles that are timeless even if expensive... not trendy. So last week i bought about 4 pairs of designer shoes. After hubby helped me, i agreed to keep only two that are timeless and will return the other two that are NICE but are trendy. i bought them because they were on sale! I think it's progress...

Today is my FIFTH day of not buying anything new. i also un-followed brands and shops on IG to avoid temptation!

More to come = )

[kvandenhaak]

Wow, pahinge naman ng lipstick dyan...lol! Anyways, I saw in the planner community about budget planning. Merong mga shopping addicts that curbed their addiction by putting their purchases on paper. Because it's more visible, they tend to put the breaks on their spending. There's a budget planner you can buy. They are cheaper than your week's Starbucks coffee. Maybe that will help.

You girls can do it!

[lalee888]

^Great idea. I think i'll write down my last purchases on a post-it stick them to my wallet or all my cards... that way i know (instead of spending blindly -- so easy to do with cards)!

[hisana]

Yes, nakakatulong din talaga if you have the support of family and friends who will incessantly remind you na huwag magastos, LOL. My ate dati talagang inookray ako nun when she sees me with too much stuff, kinukuha na nga lang nya yung iba para daw hindi masayang, o di ba, iba ang style nya, but I feel her nagging ways helped lessen my shopping somewhat. Yung mom kasi namin may pagka-YOLO ang attitude and shopaholic, so sa kanya ko yata namana, hahaha. My bf now fortunately, all about wise spending sya.

The other day may binili ako sa uniqlo on sale, two of those long bra dresses, and nung pag-uwi ko I felt guilty kasi I have several dresses already na medyo kamukha nung mga yun, I felt sana nilagay ko na lang sa aking savings kahit na maliit lang na amount. Since wala naman refund, exchange ko na lang for some other more practical item. So I can say talaga na may change na sa mentality ko when it comes to spending. Not totally free of shopping addiction kasi minsan may minor relapse, hahaha, but my situation is not as awful as it was before.

[lalee888]

^i wish to be able to say that also sis.. na relapse na lang ako, hindi complete addict.

So my addiction is a secret one -- like none of my friends/family know about it, i seem to be able to hide it so well.. lalo na sa make-up/beauty kasi di naman nila bubuksan cabinets ko diba? Tapos when my hubby and i meet after work to go somewhere, i usually go to Sephora or Saks to kill time while waiting for him.. dun ako napapabili. Anyway, i told my hubby, ibalik na lang nya mga pinamili ko... nadadala din ako ng sales tactics ng mga SA, especially at Saks. They invite me to their promos/events and give so many freebies, complimentary spa treatments, etc... napakababaw ko but they somehow get to me hayayayay

[amethyst028]

@lalee888 baka bored ka lang sis. When you have a baby ma obliga ka na mag budget, maybe not right away but eventually. expensive ang may anak, not only for their everyday needs, education, interests  but you will be forced to think about their future. You want to give them a more comfortable life and hopefully kahit wala na tayo sa mundo may maiwan tayo for them to give them a head start in life.

Ako din naman nung wala pa ako anak laman ako ng mall, i like to buy things i won't even use. Basta lang may mabili. And nadadala din ako sa mga freebies na yan. When my son arrived i was forced to stay within my budget. Also hindi na rin ako basta basta makapag mall dahil mahirap mag shopping pag may kasama kang maliit na bata. Sa online naman i try to stay away from shopping sites and iniisip ko rin kung kailangan ko ba talaga yun.

Plus storage, i hate clutter so i tend to avoid buying what i don't need kasi magiging problem ko pa kung saan ko ilalagay yun. Although minsan napapabili pa rin ako, i have lots of clothes, bag, shoes na may tag price at nasa paper bag pa, yung iba january ko pa nabili. also small things na nasa paper bag that i haven't opened yet na hindi ko na alam kung ano ano yun. Nasa storage room lang.
 

[lalee888]

hihi sis @amethyst -- naisip ko rin yan na baka bored lang ako kaya hilig mag shop... and yeah a baby will definitely force me to grow up and restrain myself since there's a far larger future at stake (kid's future).. baka kailangan ko nga yan, parang kick in the nuts hehe : )

but hubby and i said next year or in 2 years pa kame mag-baby so for now, i really need to learn and practice self-discipline. Buti na lang summer na dito so we have so much activities and distractions that help me stay away from my phone and from shops.

Storage... i think that's an eye-opener too. We don't have lot of storage so our "other" things are stored in odd places - we had to be creative and yes, CLUTTER is a nuisance to me so baka that will now motivate me to take stock of what we own, declutter, and avoid shopping. One out, one in policy!

[hushush]

Medyo guilty din ako sa ganto hehe. pero i can control na my addiction lately. Lalo na ngayon na im into my financial goals kasi i already pledged to my husband that i will manage our finances properly.. It really matters that you choose your friends din. Pag tipong mga bulagsak o bili ng bili ng luho kahit super super dami na, na hindi na makatarungan.. At hindi nakikinig sa mga kaibigan na nagpapayo sa kanya na ipagpaliban muna ang pagbili ng luho at laging ginagamit ang "therapy card". Therapy daw nya yun sa loneliness at depression. Kaya as in parang halos every 2weeks may delivery ng bags at shoes. (Uy indi ako to ah!😅). Yan yun taong may nakakapit na ispiritu ng overspending hehe. Parang gluttony na yun e hehe. Parang yun napanuod ko lang sa Korean Odyssey. Haha! 😆but seriously pag ganun dapat magpatingin na.. Hindi na normal yun ganun e hehe.so dapat medyo distansya ka sa mga ganung tao. But dont worry, lalayuan ka din ng kusa ng mga ganyan tao pag nakikita nila na nagtitipid ka at ayaw mo nang gumastos sa shopping. Hindi ka nyan kakausapin pag ang topic mo tungkol sa savings at pagtitipid. Hahanap at hahanap yan ng mga katulad nilang bulagsak sa pera.. In my experience, ayun nga dinededma ako pag ang topic about budgeting at finances..so alam ko na, na friends lang kami sa panahon ng shopping addiction.. 😆😆

Dun ka makipagkaibigan sa mga taong pag kinausap mo tungkol sa budgeting e willing makipagdiscuss at magpayo.. Di naman masama na magwalwal paminsan-minsan sa shopping. Part ng buhay nating mga babae yun pero di naman tama na ilang years kang ganun na di ka makaahon sa pagiging shopping addict diba. Na di porke ngayon marami kayong pera kasi rich si husband or malaki sahod nya e ok lang gumasta nang gumasta nang walang pakundangan.. Dapat mayron ka ding fallback, savings at emergency fund/insurance para kung mangyari man ang kinatatakutan mo, di ka masyadong mahihirapan. Ako siguro nag-addict for 1yr lang.. Then move on na. Sa tulong na din ng walang sawang pagpaparinig ng asawa ko na dapat save, save, save, employment is not permanent.. Blah blah blaaaah! ..may point naman sya at buti na lang nakinig ako hehe so Im facing the reality now. Na ang pera na pinaghirapang kitain nya hindi ko dapat basta-basta winawaldas. So i need to practice discipline, temperance at abstinence hindi lang sa food kundi pati sa pera.
Pero syempre andun pa rin ang love ko for bags at alahas.. If i want to buy one, pag-iipunan ko na lang muna at ipagpapaalam sa husband ko before buying para walang guilt feeling. Bow..😄

[kabes]

im not a shopaholic but i have friends who were. so ako ang hatak nila kasi ang nega ko daw. tinatangal ko excitement sa shopping. mejo minimalist kasi ako

1. hanap ka ng friend mo na matipid. sya ang isama mo pag window shop ka
2. instead of surfing online shops, read more on minimalism
3. everytime you buy something, dispose ka muna ng item mo similar sa gusto mong bilhin.
4. wait for 5days before mo buy gusto mo. if after 5days, atat ka pa din. buy mo na.

remember, lahat ng binibili mo, sa landfill yan mapupunta. magiging basura. so just choose what you need and minimize carbon footprint

[hisana]

Napabili ako sa h&m, three items lang naman from their sale racks (by the way, dati ayaw ko sa h&m, but now lately madami ako dun nabibili, so I dont know what happened and I dont know if this is a good thing, haha). Anyway, was searching the closets para makahanap ng top na bagay dun sa printed wide-legged pants (na noon ko pa gusto bilihin, now got it at 500 pesos off!). So ayun, havent organized kasi in months so nakita ko ang dami kong nabili na once or twice worn, meron pang never worn. As in halos nakalimutan ko na yata I bought them. Nakakapanghinayang. And here I am with more new clothes. Kaya talaga dapat para sa mga shopaholics, strict and constant monitoring!