Which matters more to you, chemistry or compatibility?

[kvandenhaak]

^Parang parenting, there's a lot of studies and books na na-publish but there's no one size fits all formula. Ang parent lang talaga nakakaalam kung pano palakihin ang anak nila because each child and each parenting style is different. Siguro same din with couples, sila lang ang pwedeng makaalam on how to deal with the other person. Walang magic spell or rules to follow. You use your heart. I don't want to sound cheesy and preachy but it really boils down to love at kung gaano mo kamahal ang partner mo. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 I think is a very good definition of love, whether you believe in God or not.

[glamorosa_09]

If it's true that only the couples know how to deal with their partner, walang mag-papa marriage counseling at mag-papa family counseling, wala ring willing magbayad ng marriage and parenting seminars. At wala ring mag-popost ng marriage problems and parenting issues dito.

Also yung mga studies and writings, they were brought forth to understand and address problems. I agree naman that there's no one size fits all.

Like what you said iba-iba tayo. There are people who subscribe to what others can share and impart (and discard those that will not benefit them). May mga forward-thinking people or those who just want to learn. So siguro, the compatibility-chemistry message that was given here are for those people who like to strengthen/increase their relationship knowledge. At the same time, you can also argue your different point of view, just like what you did.

Also pala, the term "parenting style" you used is a psychological construct. Galing din yan sa studies and observations ng pagmamagulang.

[kvandenhaak]

^I have been to marriage counseling. The counselor will interview you both and then separately. Ang counseling  approach still depends on your unique situation. It's just meant to see the problem with a different eye. Ang couple pa rin ang magde-decide what is the best approach.

With my parenting style, I ask advice from those who know my son personally like my sisters in law and close friends. But that's just me. Books work for some people. I just believe that unless the person knows me and my son personally, it's mostly a miss than a hit. But I digress.

Back to topic. Sabi ng tyahin ko nung bata pa ako, ang mag-asawa daw para na lang magkapatid pag nagtagal. I was wondering what that meant. Siguro yung kilig wala na pagtagal?

[TysLolakins]

^maybe she meant less to no sex? hahahahaha.      i'm kinda hesitant to comment on some threads/topics  because i know everybody judges and forms differing opinions from nuggets of personal information shared here, LOL.   so i'll just stick to my original answer to this thread, that's plenty enough said.

[kvandenhaak]

^Ay, ang dry naman pag walang sex? LOL!

Speaking of that...sa kabilang thread na lang. LOL!

[Shadow Angel]

I check FP page mag article about Christine Reyes and husband na hiwalay na. Nagbasa ako ng comment. May part dun na ang hirap daw mag asawa na ang layo na raw sa dati dahil di sila magkaintindihan un ibang follow up comments ganun dun mga problema about relatioship. Sa pagkakaintindi ko lack of compatibility.
Nakakasad un news na hiwalay na sila very vocal pa naman si Christine na gusto nya talaga buong pamilya.

[glamorosa_09]

I have been to marriage counseling. The counselor will interview you both and then separately. Ang counseling  approach still depends on your unique situation. It's just meant to see the problem with a different eye. Ang couple pa rin ang magde-decide what is the best approach.

Yes... Ganito nga... Counselor assesses, plans intervention, and then nasa couple pa rin kung magiging successful o hindi. So I see your point na couple ang nakakaalam and magdedecide from other people's input. Kaya maganda TEAM kayo.

Sa thread na ito, when you said no one size fits all, true naman, yung individual ang magdedecide for her and I think given naman na yun. I think wala naman yatang nag-impose dito and said sila ang tama. So, as far as I know, we're just exchanging opinions.

And napako tayo sa chemistry-compatibility kasi yun yung topic. But it doesn't mean yun lang yun. Some just use mind plus heart as a pre-cautionary knowing what can possibly lie ahead. They know what to look for to decrease chance of major conflicts and increase chance of success. And yun pa rin suggestion ko. If you're a pro-heart naman, then yun naman ang belief mo...

So anyway, naka quota na yata ko dito.. LOL... Okay na ko...