Author Topic: when a guy feels empty/broken  (Read 3894 times)

mysterioza_me

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Re: when a guy feels empty/broken
« Reply #20 on: November 11, 2018, 01:23:28 am »
I asked her to give me a time line she cant

If she cant give you a timeline, ikaw ang magset. Kung tutuusin nga nung umamin siya na di ka na mahal dapat lumayo ka na. Theres no point in trying to build your family kung wala ng love and respect. Ikaw mahal mo siya and maybe nirerespeto mo pa siya pero siya di ka na niya mahal and wala na siyang respeto sayo. Nagstay na lang siya sayo for convenience, may bubong na masisilungan at may pagkain sa hapag habang inaantay niya ang boytoy niya na bigyan siya ng go signal na iwan ka.

Saka hindi reason ang previous na affair mo para gumanyan siya. Hindi maitatama ang mali ng isa pang pagkakamali.
If a girl understands your b******t, stick through your mistakes, smiles even when you've done nothing for her , it's obvious she's a keeper. But it's also obVious that you don't deserve her...

kvan

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Re: when a guy feels empty/broken
« Reply #21 on: November 11, 2018, 01:56:55 am »
It's the kids that are suffering from all of these. Your wife is f****d up. You can't keep going on circles. Your marriage can not be saved. Just save the kids! Man up! If women like me can do it, so can you.
"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" ---Matthew 6:34

iamanndee

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Re: when a guy feels empty/broken
« Reply #22 on: November 11, 2018, 12:33:11 pm »
Hiwalayan mo na. Kung siya na mismo nagsabing hindi ka na mahal, what's the point of trying it out? Focus on yourself and your kids. Mas kailangan ka nila more than your wife needs you. Good luck!
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airish_2

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Re: when a guy feels empty/broken
« Reply #23 on: November 11, 2018, 01:23:41 pm »
Ginagamit na lang niya ang past mistake mo para mapagtakpan yung mistake niya, give yourself a peace of mind. Ang lakas ng loob magloko siguro pampalakas niya ng loob yung ginawa mo dati at tsaka binibigyan siya ni guy ng pera.

Hiwalayan mo na siya o siya ang paalisin mo sa bahay. Para makafocus na rin siya sa lalake niya uwi na siya sa parents niya at ikaw naman mag focus sa mga bata. May mga titingin ba sa mga bata if ever umalis siya?

Para sa wife mo uso mag move on pero ayaw niya kasi nga may nakita na rin siyang iba.
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glamorosa_09

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Re: when a guy feels empty/broken
« Reply #24 on: November 11, 2018, 03:44:38 pm »
Nakakalungkot yung ganito... Yung walang proper healing and rebuilding of marriage na naganap after the first infidelity. Parang stage 1 cancer na naglead na to stage 4.

How did you address ba the first infidelity?
Did she demand that you answer her many questions regarding your affairs?
Did she demand any behavioral requests from you for her to feel safe (eg report your whereabouts, go home directly after office)?
Did she express anger and outrage because of the trauma caused by infidelity?
Did she understand why you have cheated in the first place?

These should come from her since she's the one injured. Kung walang ganyang kaganapan, that means she took it all silently. And the things happening now in your relationship are just manifestations of buried anger and unhealed wounds. Infidelity is a traumatic event. Due to it's interpersonal nature, mas grabe yan sa trauma inflicted by calamities. Hindi mo pa alam, baka may mga previous traumas pa yan in her earlier life.

However, if she did all these, and you did your best to respond to her demands/requests, and she's presently cheating on you, then the problem is with her.

Bumaligtad na mundo niyo ngayon. Sya na straying spouse, and you're the faithful one. Kung hiwalay yung sagot sa resulting problem niyo ngayon, I'm sure maraming advices na mabibigay.

Kung sakaling magbalikan kayo, you still need professional help. You need info on how to rebuild a broken marriage and heal old wounds. Without these info, cycle cycle lang. Parang nangyayari sa inyo ngayon, dahil no proper healing and rebuilding took place.

Like what others have said, for the love of yourself, tell her na you will leave her if she will not cut the ties from the other man. Give a date. Actually nga, baka ganun din yung ginawa nya sayo due to your affairs. Sabi mo kasi sexual relationships, so more than one. She couldn't leave physically, that's why she left emotionally, long before she met the guy. But to physically leave, she needs a knight in shining armor to sweep her away. I'm just assuming, I don't know the whole story.

Pero right now, na ikaw si faithful at sya si wayward, at ginagawa mo na lahat, nasayo yung bola, wala sa kanya. Actually be ready to leave her. And if she decided to really come back, seek professional help or attend retrovaille marriage seminar. Kasi from what happened in the first infidelity, you can't do it on your own without the necessary knowledge and skills to heal and rebuild. Kahit magbalikan kayo, maraming tatrabahuhin, kaya both of you have to be 100% sure and determined that this is what you want.

Kailangan nya bumalik and open her heart for forgiveness, pero kung wala ito at ayaw nya na rin talaga... Wala ka na rin magagawa. Rest in the thought that you did your best.



« Last Edit: November 11, 2018, 03:48:38 pm by glamorosa_09 »

Girltalker2

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Re: when a guy feels empty/broken
« Reply #25 on: November 11, 2018, 07:00:32 pm »

Please tell
Me if i should demand an ultimatum to her or else the moment she steps out it would mean legal proceedings because when we argued yesterday she really wanted to be with the guy mr superhero


Bro, seems you are not reading Nor listening to the advises - just leave.

A marriage can NEVER work if 1 lang nag eeffort. Moreso, it can never work if one doesn?t love the other.

Otherwise whine til you want, walang mangyayari sayo and you will just be stuck there. Worst, pati kids affected.
« Last Edit: November 11, 2018, 07:02:03 pm by Girltalker2 »

plumpolka

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Re: when a guy feels empty/broken
« Reply #26 on: November 12, 2018, 03:10:04 pm »
man up po kuya. kung meron hawak sa leeg, ikaw hawak sa itlog *peace*


women can be manipulative and di ko alam kung maaawa ako sayo kasi namamanipulate ka nya para gawin mo gusto nya. feeling ko nagpapahabol lang yang asawa mo dahil kung ayaw na nya sayo at gusto ka na nya iwan, matagal na nya ginawa yun. pareho niyo lang pinahihirapan mga sarili nyo. and may mga anak pa kayo na nadadamay. may isip na mga anak nyo. kung akala niyo wala pa sila alam, im sure pag sila sila lang, pinaguusapan din nila kayong parents nila at im sure nasasaktan lang sila lalo. sexist as it may sound, ikaw ang padre de pamilya, decide, do what's best for your family. hindi lang sa asawa mong puro landi lang ang nasa isip. hahaha! hayaan mo sya lumandi kung yun gusto nya. wag ka magpadala sa mga pananakot nya. sa dami ba naman ngayon ng mga f* boys, di naman yan makakakuha ng poreber online lang LOL. at least alam mo sa relasyon nyo, you did your part, you've asked for forgiveness and repented for your sins. ok na yun. your kids would understand whatever happens to your family. mukhang madami issues si wifey.
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Kiara027

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Re: when a guy feels empty/broken
« Reply #27 on: November 12, 2018, 09:55:40 pm »
Bro, seems you are not reading Nor listening to the advises - just leave.

Makulit si Kuya. Been reading on this thread. Alam mo sagot sa problema mo, di mo lang kayang gawin or ayaw mong gawin. Kung gusto nya sa superman nya, pabayaan mo. Wala ka na din naman napapala sa asawa mo tapos nag sa suffer ka pa ng ganyan. Why don't you try na pabayaan sya, alisin stress mo sa buhay mo and see if mag iimprove din buhay mo. If marealize nya worth mo at bumalik sya sayo, then love wins. If hindi, you do not deserve a woman like her. Seems like, responsable ka naman. Wag mong sayangin buhay mo kaka whine re sa asawa mo. Madami ka pang bagay na mas OK gawin kesa humabol ng humabol sa wife mo. Past is past. Take care of your kids and yourself. Matagal mo ng inaayos ang buhay nyo mag asawa at kung ayaw nya makipag cooperate, then let her be. Ginawa mo na part mo as her husband. Walang dapat sisihin sa inyo. God bless you.
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drinveilside

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Re: when a guy feels empty/broken
« Reply #28 on: November 17, 2018, 01:21:49 am »
Thank you for all of your responses i really appreciate it . I will do my best me until Christmas if she cant leave the guy then i will leave my kids its just hard because if i go back to my parents we may never even be friends and she knows it

The sucker punch is the guy is not working right now he is a registered nurse though but funny thing is the means of their communication is out of my pocket someone deleted the pictures on my phone she sent a selfie to the guy and she admitted calling him in the middle of the night because she misses him this week its a bit better and if i decide to leave the kids will be forced to stop schooling for a year i may take to america next year i really hope the lord is in my side still after all that ive done

plumpolka

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Re: when a guy feels empty/broken
« Reply #29 on: November 17, 2018, 09:33:41 am »
^He will be. God is always on our side. Maski gaano pa kasakit, gaano pa kahirap, God will always be with us to ease the pain. at least that's what i want to believe.  :D
Happiness is a choice.
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baliwsayo

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Re: when a guy feels empty/broken
« Reply #30 on: November 18, 2018, 11:48:42 pm »
"but she said she wants to be free and that she longer loves me but she said she doesnt to lose me."

Wow, hindi ako makapaniwala na may lalakeng martyr! I want to understand this. She already said that she doesn't love you anymore and it is pretty obvious why she doesn't wanna lose you.. because of your money! Mawawalan siya ng pangsustento sa jowa nya.

Alam mo, leave yourself some dignity. Leave her na.

Side question.. why did you cheat on her before? At nakakaintindi ka ba ng tagalog? Kaya mo ba mag-tagalog? Curious lang.  :D
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drinveilside

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Re: when a guy feels empty/broken
« Reply #31 on: November 24, 2018, 08:03:45 pm »
sorry for the reply so yeah nakakaintindi ako ng tagalog

its just crazy to think that she calls the guy whenever she can and pretend that she isnt doing anything wrong when i am here trying to watch play. i just had a realization that what am i loving her for? making love? or because i wasnt able to forgive my self of my sins thats why i cant move on in the past

she said she needed 3 days its been almost 2 weeks. i just gave them what we can become as a family

we went to church as usual but then i let my kids enjoy and we played arcade and then last sunday even tough i am on a tight budget since my son is sick. we went to church ate lunch outside and watched Fantastic beast it was a great movie nonetheless.

but at the end of those days she still talks to the guy and lately she has been making comments that i am trying to watch her moves but i am really not . my eyes are to begin with so even if i am kinda next to her and she is playing the game on our pc i cant read anything she types.

i am doing the best that i can but after i talked to my sister i realized that why am i being this way i am the one who puts food on the table literally, the one who does laundry and i am the one with work and they said if she really wanted to hate me and leave me she cant leave without the kids.

I know its not right but why would i let her go to this guy and be a virgin again am i being selfish if i follow my sister. i actually know the guy's number should i ask him to stop because lately my kids have been sick and my wife told me that her shenanigans doesnt have anything to do with it . i didnt even mention it

she is acting weird because earlier after eating lunch she went upstairs and she was surprised i was there she told me if i was checking up on her and i told her i wasnt because i was about to take a shower i just grabbed my towel because we were going to my kid's surgeon for a follow up appointment.

at this point even though i know she is fed up i dont think that talking to the guy still is really helping her of letting go .

should i just let it be or should i talk to the guy or have someone from here talk to the guy.

right now my kids as old as they are the still struggle doing things on their own she kept telling me the kids will  be fine but i find it funny honestly because she is here all she does is pc zumba which is okay and clean whenever she wants to. and she is telling me they would be fine ? i am not trying to belittle her but i actually wanted to know if the guy is aware that she is a queen here.

i am not even complaining she is stubborn at home but then she cant even give this guy up because apparently my dark side may come anytime soon .

I have not been the perfect father there were days i cussed specially if i lack money. i have been a great model for my kids because my temper was bad i get easily annoyed so that was her reason for falling out of love even though we were still doing sex

at this point i am willing to give it up specially we already made plans for early christmas shopping i think i would selfish now and ask her to leave the guy or i will leave or she will leave my kids and we will talk support and routine of checking up on them

if she said that if we part she wants to be friends then i will give her that .... i am not perfect by any means but i already have  friends who informed me that they will be behind me if this happens... but deep in my heart i still want to fix it so help me god

airish_2

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Re: when a guy feels empty/broken
« Reply #32 on: November 24, 2018, 09:32:27 pm »
Kuya I suggest you re-read all messages posted in this thread.
We don't need more laws, we need implementation.

mysterioza_me

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Re: when a guy feels empty/broken
« Reply #33 on: November 24, 2018, 11:54:17 pm »
^^Lol bahala ka na sa buhay mo. Eto nalang: If you want to live miserably then stay, if you dont then leave. Pero kung magstay ka sa kanya please suffer in silence. Andami mong sinasabi about her pero di mo maiwan-iwan. Nakakapagod din mag-advice sa hindi nakikinig.
If a girl understands your b******t, stick through your mistakes, smiles even when you've done nothing for her , it's obvious she's a keeper. But it's also obVious that you don't deserve her...

Kiara027

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Re: when a guy feels empty/broken
« Reply #34 on: November 25, 2018, 10:41:33 am »
;D ;D ;D

-------------

Kuya, mukhang wala ka na din respeto sa sarili mo. Look at your wife, wala din respeto sayo. Think about it, she sees you as someone na hindi deserve na i respeto. Maawa ka muna sa sarili mo bago mo intindihin yang asawa mo.
i am for everybody yet i am for none. nobody owns me neither i own one...

Bridgette*

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Re: when a guy feels empty/broken
« Reply #35 on: November 27, 2018, 10:25:43 am »
Parehas lang kayong may tama sa utak.

It has been quite some time since you started this thread, I have seen all the most viable advices from these girltalkers whom harbored those advices from experiences and here you are still putak ng putak with empty nothings. I agree with the lady who said suffer in silence kung ayaw mong paturo at matuto.

Mas mainam pang bigyan ng instructions at examples ang isang Grade 1 pupil kesa sayo.

And excuse that be a virgin again clause. She and no one will never be, AGAIN.

xtine_orig

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Re: when a guy feels empty/broken
« Reply #36 on: November 27, 2018, 11:17:10 am »
I don't think it was his intention to listen but just to vent out.  If he does not want to read all your replies coz he's busy ranting, then I guess we just avoid posting. 

Not worth it anyway.

drinveilside

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Re: when a guy feels empty/broken
« Reply #37 on: November 28, 2018, 08:53:22 am »
thanks for the replies guys... i finally realized my value so i will just focus on my kids and ignore here craziness i know its going to be hard but if she decide to leave still i wish her the best... I will love my self now and give my 100% to my kids


because she has been vocal about getting f***ed up with the kids as well sawa na daw sya maging nanay so if she wants to be single bahala na sya if she is here i will take care of her if she leaves and be with this bum guy then goodluck ...

 


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