Long post po...TIA
Hi Sis,
I clicked your thread kasi i can relate to Totga! I hope you are feeling better now. I have my shares of my love fails and stories here already, but I have a recent one similar to yours, mejo ok na ako, pero masakit pa rin.
Ours started college days, before ako nagkaron ng BF, we were textmates, like constant. Kaso hindi kami same school, so yung pagkikita very seldom. Naligawan ako sa school ko that time, and nagka BF na ako. Hindi na clear sakin how we ended up.
We started communicating again after 10yrs, that was 2012. I visited kasi the country where he was pala and suggested na magkita kami, it was too late, so we did not see each other. Months, years have passed, may few time he'll shoot me a message to ask how am I. Kwentuhan, kamustahan, konti. Ganun lang. Then, he got married, kaso hindi nagkaanak. I didnt talk to him for another 2-3 yrs. Then started communicating again, mejo nagpahaging cia na divorced na cia, but was not too clear pa noon. Same old, once in a while na updates with each other, he very well knew na I was in a relationship, then. Pero cia, prang natrauma yata sa married life, relax-relax lang with women, no serious relationship.
This year, January, I got my heart broken, I broke up with my relationship of 7 years. It was very fresh. Bigla siya ulet nangamusta after 3mos nung last namin na usap. What he said was, napanaginipan niya ang mama ko, super naiinis siya kasi bkt daw? and I was like, explaining pa na, it was subconscious, maybe nakita nya picture mama sa FB page ko or something. Then he asked about me, I said, I was not ok, but getting there. I didnt say a word anything about the breakup. Hindi na naman tumigil communication namin, but because I was nursing a broken heart, FB posts ko puro keme-keme, mejo na gets na yata nya, and after a month or two of talking, he finally asked me, yung pinagdadaanan mo ba break-up? I said yes. He then said, see kaya nagpanaginip c mama mo because need kitang kausapin at kamustahin, i even told him, its kinda creepy.
Our long serious talks started again, and would you believe, he even asked about the past na halos hindi ko na maalala, pero siya naalala nya each detail, (same common college friend kasi). Great observer, I should say, lahat ng dorm moments na nandun siya, birthdays ng tropa and kung ano suot ko, my old mobile phones. Grabe. nakakatakot but funny to reminisce. Sabi nya ako daw totga nya, ang dami nyang why's? bkt dw ako nag bf noon, bkt daw hindi siya pinili ko that time, ayaw ko sana sagutin na, kasi totoo, hindi ko na maalala. Nasabi ko lang, hindi siya consistent. May mga sagot pa din siya. Until nag joke pa siya na, I should give him a closure. Tawang tawa kami parehas.
He started to advise me na kaya ko daw yung healing process, like how he did nung na divorced siya. I just have to go through it, and kung ano-ano pang deep convos. Even mga naging gf nya, niligawan, kwento nya lahat. May common ako na na notice, hindi pa nya kaya ang commitment, konting flaw ng babae, umaayaw siya. Napagsabihan ko pa siya na if you're not ready, wag mo umpisahan.
Na attached ako!!! sa sobrang comfortable ko sa kanya, I spoke about it, ganito [textspeak!] ko, I guess I am too vulnerable sa situation ko ngayon, but I guess, parang hindi tama yung na fi feel ko, no direct message na I think Im starting to like you, hahaha then he started to feel cold and distant. Hindi pa rin ako tumigil, i asked him bakit siya distant, sagot nya, busy lang talaga ako ng work week, I cant wait na mg weekend. Ako si t****, hoping. That weekend came , I was waiting, pero his messages were short and cold. hahahaha B*llsh*t lang!
I am slightly better now, pero I also have the question, but why you did this? sobra ka naman.