pwede ba ako magkaroon ng ME time without hurting my wife's feelings?

[el presidente]

Hi there everybody. Just new on this forum. Just asking for advice. Been married for 20 years, every time we go back sa Pinas me and my wife end up in fight she won't let me see my friends. Kahit isama ko sya ayaw naman nya. Now I decided to go back home alone so that I can have peace of mind. Am i being selfish for what I am going to do. I am planning to stay there for a month.

[Girltalker2]

I think you have to be truthful to your wife. If it?s not acceptable to you na mawalay sa friends mo, you should tell her. She must also have reasons why ayaw nya so try to make her more comfortable around your friends.

Give and take lang din naman iyan. Baka kasi mga bad influence friends mo, like nambababae or nagsusugal or always asking money from you or iba pang vices. At the same time kung wala naman masama, you should tell her the truth na you need time with your friends kasi friends mo na naman sila kahit before kayo ikasal.

Tsaka does your wife have her own time also? Usually dapat May life din sya outside. Pero admittedly naman kasi once you?re married, almost all of your time naman talaga dapat devoted sa family or earning a living. Then pa minsan minsan nalang talaga ang time sa friends, assuming you have extra time at nagagampanan mo naman obligations mo as a Father and husband.

[shinies]

Ok lang naman magka-breather period ka kung 20 years nang di mo nakukuha gusto mo pero ang tanong, bakit ayaw niya makipagkita ka sa mga kaibigan mo?

Eto nga ba:

Baka kasi mga nag influence friends mo, like nambababae or nagsusugal or always asking money from you or iba pang vices.

[twelvth_goddess]

Hello, el president.

Why doesn't she allow you to see your friends? Also, how do you define ME time?

My husband and I have been together for 12 years. If there's one thing I would want to change, that is me keeping him on a tight leash. Yung tipong gusto ko lahat ng time nya for me and for our daughter. Everytime na gusto nya mag basketball or go out with his friends, sobrang pahirapan sya mag ask saken kase magddrama ko etc etc. I regret that now especially because for the past 2 years, may pinagdadaanan kame and isa yan sa mga reasons na nahihirapan sya bumalik.

I'm not sure if you know where your wife is coming from when you say ayaw nya ikaw mag ME time. Mejo limited kase information na binigay mo. Na realize ko na it's so important for couples to retain their identity which includes having their time for themselves and for their friends. Unless may reason sya to doubt or stop you from doing so.

[khaleesiCersei]

Go have your me time. You are an adult. Mag asawa kayo hindi nyo magulang ang isat isa para pagbawalan lumabas. But of course having your me time doesnt mean doing something that will break your wife?s trust or heart, meaning dont do anything na you wouldnt want your wife to do unto you. Like kung may balak kang man chicks eh sana kayanin ng ego mo pag asawa mo naman ang nanlalaki, ganon, hehe.

[ms.holly]

Having your me time is the healthiest thing a person can do for themselves. Man or woman it doesnt matter. Before you can be a couple first you are an individual and as an individual you have needs like eating and sleeping mental and emotional wellness is also a need often ignored. Tell  your wife if she never gives you time for your own happiness you will end up resenting her and eventually implode. This is what happens in some if not most long term relationships. Partners feel their main job is to satisfy their partners  so they do and do and years go by and they implode they get a mistress or become an angry person regretting a life that passed them by whilst they have been living in misery satisfying their partner and ignoring their own needs.

So yes, it is your responsibility to your family and specially to yourself to have your alone time. It is your responsibility to make yourself happy first ( given that source of happiness is not damaging to your union like pambabae or sugal) Sabe nga nila "Happy wife Happy life"
 It should also be said that "Happy partner happy life" lets not be sexist and prioritize the wife lang the man has needs too. Anong mabibigay mo sa partner mo kung miserable ka. Generally in life people love happy people kase they give off happiness, nakakahawa ika nga. So if miserable ko you can only give off misery as well. So explain this to your wife. Assure her of your love and loyalty but explain to her your needs as well. Also buy her the book, "Men are from Mars Women are from Venus-"   Isa sa main points dun is Men need their man cave where they can refresh or reset to go out in the world happy and ready to face the world again. This time  for recreation clears their mind.

[airish_2]

Siguro naman sa 20 years niyo na pagsasama kaya mo naman sabihin sa kaniya harapan or in a nice way na kailangan mo din ng ME time pero hindi mo kasi sinabi bakit ayaw niya imposibleng walang dahilan eh, baka kasi mga drug addict yung mga friends mo or babaero tapos sinulsulsulan ka mang chix o pot session mga tipong ganoon kidding aside nadadaan naman lahat sa magandang usapan open communication nga 'di ba, kaya yung tanong mo sa wife mo mismo itanong.

[three8one]

sa tingin ko may kakaiba nangyayari pag minimeet mo ang mga friends mo kaya ayaw ng wife mo..

[Queserasera]

Anong klaseng ME Time ba ang gusto mo? Depende rin yan sa gagawin mo at sa kung sino ang mga kasama mo.

ako 2008 nung nag asawa ako, pinaiiwas ko sa ME time ang hubby ko dahil yung ME time na ginagawa niya kasama ng officemates niya eh mag KTV sa Quezon Ave., at magpapansin sa Mocha Girls. Parang sa akin eh, ako hindi naman makaganyan dahil may asawang tao na ako bakit ang hubby ko parang buhay single pa din. Mabuti at nagkahiwalay na sila ng mga trabaho, ngayon simpleng inom at kain nlng ginagawa nila ng bago niyang officemates at hindi ko naman kinokontra kasi mababait naman at behave ang mga kasama niya.

[ficklemind]

 
Sabi mo tinry mo siya isama pero ayaw naman niya, bakit kaya? baka meron siyang ayaw sa mga friends mo, sa mga activites na ginagawa nyo or baka naman kulang ang time nyo sa Pinas pag umuuwi kayo, siyempre with family, relatives at mga bagay na dapat asikasuhin.

Medyo hinde ko gets uuwi ka ng Pinas for a month alone, dahil lang ba gusto mo mag ME time and hangout with your friends or my iba pang issue issue sa marriage niyo,?you want peace of mind eh.
Parang ang haba kasi ng 1 month just to reconnect with friends, kung yun lang talaga ang purpose ng paguwi mo. Well, in my opinion yes ang selfish ng dating. Or mali lang intindi ko

[kaythrielle]

It seems like you and your wife have an underlying issue pa. I think it is better if resolve nyo muna whatever it is you need to resolve before you leave her for a 1 Month worth of your ?Me Time?
Pero kung iiwan mo si wifey sa ere for the sake of getting your 1 Month ?Me Time? pero galit sya or may tampuhan kayo or whatever, then yes that is being selfish.

[BicuriousGS]

It's ok to have a "me time" but its worth quality "me time" kung ok kayo ng wife mo. Peaceful wala ka iniisip na may iniwanan ka may nag tatampo sayo. Mas ma enjoy mo. Sa amin kasi ng husband ko kami wala issue sa ganyan. We dont check each other if we hang out with our friends. Basta alam lang namin what time dating mo or kung kelan ka uuwi. Siguro isa factor na din na malaki age gap namin ng husband ko kaya ganun. Pero ako kasi wala selos factor or even sya. More on para magkaibigan lang kasi kami. Try to be more cautious sa feelings nya kung di sya komportable sa Me time with ur friends, ask her why. Baka naman may pinag selosan sya or bad influence sila sayo. If ganun talaga nature nya i reverse pyche muna lang. You let her go on her way, her Me time. Para maisip nya na u need also that me time. I hope may sense ito mga sinabi ko. 😉

[cupcakejane]

Same sentiments.  I used to have no issues about my husband hanging out with his friends and cousins but after what he did to me and our family for 3 years... After knowing that none of them will tell if my husband is with another woman, whether serious or not, nawalan na ako ng tiwala sa kanila and I don't want my husband hanging out with them.

[yannuh]

syempre naman. kasi dadating talaga tayo sa point na minsan gusto mo magsolo sa 1 araw and that does not necessarily mean naman na me problema kayo ni wife mo, minsan kasi hahanp hanapin mo lang talaga yung buhay mo dati before kayo naging mag asawa. basta be supportive lang sa isat isa. naalala ko two weeks ago me laakd si hubby with his hs barkada. ako naman sabi ko mag me time ako (mani pedi, facial, etc) and pumayag naman sya. binigyan pa ako ng pera haha. basta open communication lagi at be honest kung saan ka talaga pupunta at ano ang gagawin mo.