What is an acceptable apology after he cheated?

[cupcakejane]

To men who have cheated, did you repeat it again after some time?

To women, what is an acceptable apology if you experienced prolonged infidelity?  Is a simple sorry enough?  Shouldn't he do something more?

[naizlabonita]

For me, saying sorry will never be enough after all the emotional pain that Ive felt, kung pwede lang eh mafeel nya din yung nafifeel ko para quits hahaha.

[kvandenhaak]

Sorry is not enough. There should be a tangible and serious effort to win me back. I believe in second chances but he's gotta earn it.

Thankfully, never kong naranasan na masaktan because of infidelity. Hindi ko ata kakayanin.

[stormy_princess]

I do not know if there is enough apology a woman can accept for infidelity. On my end, I gave my husband a second chance. He's trying to prove it and win me back. But forgiveness cannot be given freely and agad agad kasi. For months now, there are still times na I doubt him. I said to myself na lang na I have to be ready na sakaling malaman ko na ginawa nya ulit, I'm strong enough to let go.

[tischarmedlife]

Have never encountered this with my husband, thank God pero right now, kung mangyari sakin to (hopefully not), I don't think that I can ever forgive him kahit anong pagmamakaawa pa gawin nya.

[Rory_Lorelie_Gilmore]

Forgiveness can be freely given as soon as the heart heals and mind calms. Yung forgetting ang mahirap. Kung mag-so-sorry man sakin if ever, ayoko na siguro bolahin pa ako or i sugar coat things, admit your mistake, say sorry and mean it, and let's see kung makabalik pa sa dati if you try to win me back, definitely not like before, pero second best probably.

[hisana]

PROLONGED infidelity? Sa totoo lang, no apology is reason enough for me. I can put up with almost every dilemma a couple faces, pero yung serial cheating and physical abuse, those are my dealbreakers. Kung may kulang sa relationship namin at kailangan pa nya maghanap ng iba, then I'm not going to stay around. This is just me ha, alam ko naman marami who choose to fix their marriage and that's their decision. Iba lang talaga ang reaction ko sa infidelity.

Tsaka ewan ko lang if masasalvage pa yung relationship namin, because, to be honest, parang nandidiri ako sa mga nangagaliwa. Bumababa ang tingin ko sa kanila, and how can I live with a man I do not respect nor trust anymore.

[leelee_]

Nothing.

[three8one]

follow up Q's lang. doon sa mga maga accept ng apology, pwede pa specify kung anong klaseng apology yung gusto nyo.. or maybe at least give a scenario katulad nun nabanggit si mam Rory at mam naizlabonita? ano yung enough apology para sa inyo? like another example, mamatay muna yung nanloko sa inyo by then tanggap nyo na yung sorry nya. something like that.. 

[cupcakejane]

What i meant by prolonged, years of infidelity with multiple women.  I asked so I know if i'm being unreasonable and if sorry is enough.

[Shadow Angel]

Iba ang take ko sa cheating sa ngayon talaga at feeling ko sa darating na panahon hindi ko kaya magforgive and forget iiwan ko talaga alam yan ng husband ko. Lalo pa sa ugali ni hubby na mas ma vocal sya pag something is wrong or pag may gusto or ayaw sya. Kaya sabi ko di mo ako pwede gulatin na may problema ka pala sa akin tapos ang ending sa ibang babae hahanapin. Anyway sorry is not enough why? For me cheating is not a mistake its a choice.

[cupcakejane]

PROLONGED infidelity? Sa totoo lang, no apology is reason enough for me. I can put up with almost every dilemma a couple faces, pero yung serial cheating and physical abuse, those are my dealbreakers. Kung may kulang sa relationship namin at kailangan pa nya maghanap ng iba, then I'm not going to stay around. This is just me ha, alam ko naman marami who choose to fix their marriage and that's their decision. Iba lang talaga ang reaction ko sa infidelity.

Guys feel differently about this naman.  Usually sinasabi, ibang usapan pag binahay, pero kung on the side lang naman, kaya pa ayusin. Any comments from men?

Iba naman generation natin ngayon, women are more empowered so nakikipaghiwalay talaga mostly, so why even bother to try cheating when you know the consequence?

[Girltalker2]

Iba naman generation natin ngayon, women are more empowered so nakikipaghiwalay talaga mostly, so why even bother to try cheating when you know the consequence?

As the wife naman, why even bother with staying if you know you won?t ever get that peace of mind/happiness, other than hoping for a miracle?

[cupcakejane]

That's an oversimplified question right there. 

(1) Not enough helper at home even though money is not a problem

(2) Having a delayed child that needs another parent to talk to him because the other one is busy making money

There is no left or right, or black or white.  Most would probably give a straight out answer, but how about the other variables?

[shinies]

Acceptable lang yung apology kung may kasamang remorse. Actions speak louder than words!

[cupcakejane]

Ano ba look ng remorseful na tao?

[ms.holly]

Wala. YOu can try to make it work but you are just delaying the inevitable or setting yourself up for prolonged misery and settling. May instances it may work wherein you can forgive and he can truly repent but that is the exception to the rule not the rule.

[otra_vez]

one apology isn't going to cut it. it has to be a long, extensive period of genuine remorse and like what others mentioned, the guy has to win you back. he has to earn back that trust. i'm not big on second chances, though especially when it comes to infidelity,kids or no kids. every relationship has to end at some point, right? whether it's death or divorce, you will eventually separate from someone. and i feel like someone who commits an infidelity is saying, i'm over this relationship. i don't give a sh!t. why would i resolve that? what's the point? so that we can stay together for a few more years? why would i do that to myself?

[nerddict]

Wala. Grabe ang mental at emotional trauma na dala ng being cheated on. It goes for years.

[Apple1230]

Words are not enough to forgive someone who cheated on me. Sa akin hirap patawarin and to continue the relationship/marriage pag may lamat na. It?s a daily effort to show me that my partner really has changed and that it was just a temporary lapse in judgement.

Kung wala naman talaga sa personality niya to cheat at nagkataon na may pagkukulang din ako baka pwede ko pa siya mapatawad. After all no one is perfect. It is also not easy to just break up lalo na if there are kids involved.

But if the guy is a serial cheater na hindi talaga ma kontento sa isang babae lang e ibang usapan na yun. There is no way i can be with him kahit pa 10 ang anak namin. It is never going to work.

In short first offense kaya ko pa to move forward given na may fault din ako at kung may anak kameng involved. Pero pag inulit niya pa the second time wala na yun it goes to show he does not respect me and the commitment he has with me. At kung tinanggap ko siya the second time parang wala akong respect at pagmamahal sa sarili ko.