Online Dating (Thread 2)

[kutitapkiss]

let me share my story

started doing tinder early 2015, to get my mind off this messed up guy. so initially i did it just to distract myself, cos i wanted to stop talking to this messed up guy (MUG). in the end, naging kami din ni MUG but only lasted for a few months. so, after the relationship ended, i was back on tinder for the very same reason. went on and used the app for a year. at first gusto ko lang talaga may makausap. till may nakilala ako na mga nagustohan ko din.... the thing is yung mga nagugustuhan ko, either emotionally unavailabe, super layo from me, only wants sex, or yun basta may conflict. and yung mga nagppursue talaga, hindi ko naman type. and totoo ANG HIRAAAP, dadating ka sa point na maiisip mo this was suppose to be easy! bat ganun lol. ang dami ko din nakita dun na asawa/bf ng friends/kakilala ko kaloka.

the very moment i was about to give up  on it, tsaka ko nameet si current bf so yeah imagine after almost 2 years of swiping, 900+ matches (my requirements for matches are not limited to good looks, kaya ang dami nyan  ), tsaka lang ako nakakita ng talagang ka-match ko for real. we just had out first anniv and everything is doing well naman hopefully eto na talaga yun.

i dunno, i think kahit saang venue pa yan, dadating lang talaga sha in the right place and in the right time. proactive ka man o hindi (pero sa panahon ngayon, mas ok nang procative ka kesa mag abang ka lang sa suitors nyahaha) i think the main key sa online dating is wag agad ma-attach. keep in touch with reality, and be very upfront. know their intentions and be straightforward with yours as well, kasi madaming guys sex lang talaga hanap, kala mo sa umpisa seryoso. iniisip kasi nila girls who are on dating sites are desperate/vulnerable. ay nako. and, galingan mag stalk, for background check. hahaha.

[kvandenhaak]

^Congrats! May pag-asa pa tayo, girls!

[aylin_santos]

I met my boyfriend more than a year ago sa OKC or OK Cupid. He is half pinoy half american.

Nag start lang sa sige masubukan nga. Dahil kinukulit at madami nang nag uudyok sakin na mag sign up. And malay nga naman natin e dun ko nga makita yung nakatakda sakin. And it came true nga.

[kutitapkiss]

^^ thank you sis, haha yup wag susuko hanggat single, try lang ng try. both online and offline hehe. nanjan lang yan sa tabi tabi lol.

and may i add, don't be too uptight din. open your line of communication, kasi kung hindi kayo maguusap, paano? don't be too hesitant to go out of the dating app itself. let them get to know you. wag masyadong "if you really like me you will wait for me to open up" minsan kasi ang tagal na haha, remember mas daming options mga lalake kesa satin. and naturally sila ang gumagawa ng moves, so don't be shy to somehow reciprocate kung bet mo naman, wag super dalagang pilipina. pero shempre wag din all out agad, if you know what i mean 

[oolong1]

My friends are into online dating and try din ako now.  We're mid 30s.  And yes, its true what they say swiping left and right could be fun too.  Good luck to us sis.

[tey_roch19]

I met someone online. Kaso hindi ko type. Tuloy ko pa ba ientertain tutal kinikilala ko pa naman. Mabait naman kaso talagang walang spark. Nasa US sya pinoy hindi pa kami nagmeet. Ientertain ko pa ba? Mukha naman matino tutal im not getting any younger na din naman. Nakaka off kasi masyado syang seryoso.

[kutitapkiss]

^ well kung hindi mo type, why waste your time? you can meet a lot of people online. if i were you, i'll keep on looking for someone na gusto ko talaga. unless, nakikitaan mo naman ng potential, may napag uusapan naman kayo... then you know, you can keep testing the waters. pwede ka naman kumausap ng iba while talking to him, kasi malay mo may makilala ka na mas ok.

[Travelionbabe]

I caved in at nag sign up sa bumble... may nakachat ako na tanong nya agad kung gusto nya maging fwb... kaloka hahahahaha na discourage tuloy akoy mag swipe sa ibang tao

[young_maiden]

I deleted Coffee Meets Bagel. Di talaga ako pwede sa online dating. lol!

[young_maiden]

Kulang din ako sa patience, sis. Ayoko kasi talaga ng small talks. Ayoko rin ibigay number ko kung sa huli sa ghosting lang din mauuwi. Sayang oras.

[kvandenhaak]

^Oh ok. How soon do you want engaging conversation? Usually small talks lang naman talaga in the beginning. Kelangan mo talaga eh to meet up in person agad so walang choice si guy but to be engaged in a more meaningful conversation.

[young_maiden]

I mean ok lang sa akin ang small talks sa simula pero wag naman palagi. Huwag naman iyong sa araw-araw na ginawa ng Diyos small talks lang ang usapan. Ang boring.

Saka ayaw ko rin na hinihingi agad number ko. Prefer ko magkaroon muna ng engaging conversations online bago ko ibigay. Kaso guys sa online world nawawala agad after ko i-turn down request nila to get my number.

[kvandenhaak]

^I don't also give my real number. I give them a disposable number. Try mo kaya ikaw naman ang magtanong to steer him sa mas engaging na conversation?

[young_maiden]

Minsan I do that kaso few words lang ang sasabihin.

I guess online dating is not really for me. Mas kaya ko kasi sumabak sa meaningful conversations pag kaharap ko yung tao. On the other hand, ayoko naman makipagmeet agad kung di ko pa nakaka-usap ng matagal ang tao if sa online ko lang siya makita.

Mas effective pa rin talaga makahanap ng bf through common friends.

[amethyst028]

 Sa online dating kasi short ang attention span ng mga tao dahil madaming choices. So if sa first few convos pa lang feeling ng guy very inhibited yung girl they move on na. Guys like girls that are easy going, not easy na madaling pumayag sa bed, easy meaninng relax lang madali kausap, confident sa sarili and hindi yung parang tingin niya lahat ng guys stalker or manloloko.

For me you don't need to give your number to every guy that asked, but there are guys na ok naman so pwede na rin. During my days sa online dating madami ako nabigyan ng number ko nasa 20 rin ata pero wala naman nag stalk or gumawa ng masama. Number lang naman hiningi hindi naman bank account so what's the harm. Hehe. Guys online are not desperate kasi kung hindi match they quickly move on to the next. So don't take yourself too seriously. Just saying.

Tiyagaan din kasi, hit or miss.  What is important is you enjoy the ride. Think of it as an experience or a phase in your life that you will look back and say i did that and it was fun or it was meh. Wala naman guarantees na pag nag online ka mahahanap mo si forever. Mindset din kasi  iyan kung tingin mo walang ok sa online then probably wala nga. But if you stay open you might just meet a good one. Who knows. Nasa tao talaga ke online or in person.

[young_maiden]

^ I am worried kasi na pag binigay ko agad number ko, iisipin nila ang easy ko naman to  give my number to a stranger. Pero I understand your point din, sis.

[kutitapkiss]

^ naku dumating din ako sa point na umay na umay ako sa small talks. natry mo na ba yung meet up kayo agad? nagawa ko na din yun before, same yung guy umay na din sa small talks lol kaya ayaw na makipag chat. meet up agad. sinabi ko  lang na ok if you want to meet up right away, we're just gonna have coffee and that's it, coz if may ibang intentions ka or wanna try something else you're just gonna waste your time. so far ok naman, buhay pa naman ako lol risky pero yeah, inisip ko nalang i have a business meeting with a stranger hehe. might work for you sis.

[young_maiden]

^ Ang tapang mo, sis. Hehe. Idol kita.

[tey_roch19]

^Yes, if you have given him the chance and you can't feel the spark then it's just fair to move on. Kesa naman umasa sya sa wala.

Mga weirdo talaga sa online dating, hindi nauubos. I was casually talking to this guy na disente naman. Then he said married naman pala and he just wants to chat online because he has this fetish that his wife doesn't understand. Gusto daw nya magsuot ng panty. So, goodbye and block. 

^hahaha ang weid naman nyan. nagrereply naman ako sa chat nya kaso puro kasal usapan e parang hello kakakilala lang natin hahaha

[amethyst028]

^ I am worried kasi na pag binigay ko agad number ko, iisipin nila ang easy ko naman to  give my number to a stranger. Pero I understand your point din, sis.

Wala naman masama sa pagiging easy dahil number lang naman hiningi. Kung ang worry mo is iniisip nila ikaw yung tipo ng girl na bibigay agad e di prove them wrong through your conversations. Hindi naman nila malalaman yun kung hindi kayo mag uusap further and minsan kasi yung mga dating app nakaka inis din open so mas ok na thru viber or whatsapp mas madali mag communicate.

Ako after a few small talks binibigay ko number ko pag hiningi at kung mukhang disente naman yung guy. They call pa nga gusto marinig pa ang boses ko. At hindi naman nila iniisip na madali ako makikipag sex coz as they get to know me nalalaman nila what i am all about. And i am no where near easy. Hindi rin naman playing hard to get. I am just me. What they see is what they get.

Meron din ako mga naka chat na meet agad. Pero over dinner or coffee. I never drink with a guy i just met. Pag nag aya ng drink i say no, pag nag order pa din hindi ko iniinom. Not one drop of alcohol at lagi sa public place. Sa outfit din always jeans yung tipong mahirap hubarin, sneakers para madaling makatakbo, shirt or sleeveless pero walang hint of cleavage. No jewelry din baka holdaper e. Haha joke lang. basta mga ganun. Nasa iyo naman kasi iyan kung kaya mo sarili mo. But if you think parang struggle siya then don't do it anymore kasi hindi ka nag e-enjoysa process. It is not for everyone. Sa akin nag enjoy naman ako, i met different types of guys, may super ok at naging bfs ko, may que horror stories na tatawanan ko na lang ngayon.