Online Dating (Thread 2)

[angeljolie]

kvandenhaak ako rin I tend to exhaust all possible means of making relationships work. Ayoko rin yung may naka hang na "what ifs." I think maganda nga yung relationship nyo ni athlete na walang label but you know what you are to each other. Wala naman nagmamadali so just take it nice and slow tee hee!.

Apple1230, saken kasi there's nothing wrong with talking to your ex again unless he cheated on you. Having said that, bakit nga ba kayo naghiwalay ni ex mo?

[Apple1230]

^time management on his part has always been the issue. He's a very busy guy. When we were still together busy na din ako but not like him. Now i still have my day job and a new business i can totally understand where he is coming from. Regarding cheating no, he is the most honest and honorable man i know. Banking and finance industry niya and he handles the ins and outs of the money. he is specifically chosen by the chairman coz they know he is an honest guy.

We went out yesterday. Ok naman i told him i'm scared na maulit yung dati he said we'll give it time. I treat it like we are starting over but he treats it like a continuation lang of the past. Kung paano kame before that's how he acts towards me pag magkasama kame.

I like this stage where we're at kasi parang nanliligaw siya ulit. He is pursuing me and he does everything i want. I sometimes give him a hard time just to test how much he wants me back, he passes with flying colors. Iniiba ko rin approach this time so we don't end up like before. I am observing his actions so until i have my doubts na katulad lang ito ng dati i cannot give him my heart again.

How about you kamusta na kayo?

[angeljolie]

^I see. Isa sa mga recent realizations ko is that there are guys who are not very good at multitasking in terms of major life aspects (or at multitasking, period hehe). They get overwhelmed quite easily and resort to isolation as an instant remedy. The realization did not come only from my own experience but from a guy cousin's too. He broke up with his gf because he said he can't fully commit to her dahil sa dami ng ginagawa nya. I asked if he still loves her and he said he does. Pero ayaw na daw nya balikan kahit naiisip nya minsan kasi mas mahihirapan daw sila dahil ginulo na daw nya yung relationship. Hay naku anyway, it's been barely 2 months since they broke up. Baka magbago pa ang isip at matulad sa atin hehe.

Okay naman kami, same old story, yung walang long-term plans. I don't know why but I'm okay with it kasi eto lang din yung kaya ko ibigay sa ngayon.  I can't talk to him on the phone every day, I can't go to the US for us to be together (not that he explicitly asked), I can't do cybers*x LOL! There are lots of things I can't do for him and he's okay with it. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko rin nga alam why we are "together." Siguro parang kami yung lite version nila kvandenhaak ('lite' coz we really can't see each other even if we want to). We find comfort in each other. We don't particularly need each other but somehow we want to be connected. Ang weird lang. But I'm taking it a day at a time. Nobody can tell what will happen tomorrow. In the meantime, I'm just enjoying it.

[Apple1230]

^in our case aside from busy wth work may other factors pero baka sa side ko na yun. Sometimes i act like a spoiled brat towards him masyado kasi siyang mabait and parang lahat ng gawin ko ok lang sa kanya we never fought pag magkasama kame. Minsan inaaway ko siya through text or phone pero sa 1year namin mga 4x lang kame nag away. nung nakipag break ako i was pissed at him kasi wala na nga time sa akin nag decide pa mag renovate ng condo niya so everytime we are out ang date namin home depot picking his tiles and stuff. And pag magka text kame during the week puro about renovation lang ang pinag uusapan namin.

Our relationship is very serious i have a key to his place, i have my stuff there, close nako sa family niya. He always brings up marriage kasi that's where he is at na daw gusto na niya mag asawa. Baka natakot rin ako kasi that time i am just still getting to know him and not sure kung ganung life ang gusto ko. With someone na super busy, he handles billions of pesos on a daily basis as work so i have to be very independent of him.

I have a friend who is married to a very successful and busy guy. They met in college so they started out together. But while the guy is making something of himself my friend has to deal with raising 3 kids on her own. She said it was lonely but she has to make do with what she's given. Now all the kids are grown up and she is doing community stuff just to keep herself busy. Her husband is now a president of a company with no signs of slowing down. So if i marry my ex i would probably have the same life kasi ganun din yung career path that my ex is taking right now.

[Shadow Angel]

Re: busy guy may naging bf na ako na ganyan na sa online ko rin na meet. Infairness to him anytime magmessage ako or tawag nakakausap ko naman sya kahit na nasa meeting sya. Sa sobrang pagka workaholic nya lagi gabi umuuwi minsan past midnight na. We travel pa nga together sa ibang bansa kaso may side business trip sya. Gusto nya pa ako kasama kaso ayaw ko kasi naman ano gagawin ko sa reception area habang na sa meeting sya. Actually ako ang bumitaw kahit na sabi nya habaan ko pa pasensya ko. Feeling ko parang trophy wife lang or gusto nya lang magkaanak and asawa. Ayaw ko naman ng walang time sobrang yaman mo nga di mo naman maenjoy ang life di bale na lang. Di kasi balance and dream ko talaga buong family na ok ang relationship and financially stable. Husband na nakakasama mo in a daily basis hindi un mas madalas pa travel nya outside the country bukod pa sa puro work. Kung ambisyosa lang ako or pera lang habol ko baka ito na pangasawa ko hehe. Mahirap sabayan ang ganyan karelasyon lalo na kung magkaiba kayo ng gusto sa buhay.

[eischied_21]

^^Curious ako @Apple1230 kun anong age na ni ex?

[LABYU]

@angeljolie, International cupid LOL level up kuno ako hahaha, yes madami din sa Filipino cupid kaya lang kasi di talaga nila ako gusto kahit napalitan ko na lahat ng pictures pati yung profile ko, naka ilang guys na rin ako na send-an ng message ako na talaga nag message to start a conversation but na-ah as in wala hahahaha may standard din ata sila o di lang talaga para sakin yun, buti na lang nga medyo busy busy na kaya try ko next time sa Int'l cupid baka may iba naman dun tee hee!

[tey_roch19]

@angeljolie, International cupid LOL level up kuno ako hahaha, yes madami din sa Filipino cupid kaya lang kasi di talaga nila ako gusto kahit napalitan ko na lahat ng pictures pati yung profile ko, naka ilang guys na rin ako na send-an ng message ako na talaga nag message to start a conversation but na-ah as in wala hahahaha may standard din ata sila o di lang talaga para sakin yun, buti na lang nga medyo busy busy na kaya try ko next time sa Int'l cupid baka may iba naman dun tee hee!

^parang walang matino online e. may seryoso ba dun

[Apple1230]

.  Mahirap sabayan ang ganyan karelasyon lalo na kung magkaiba kayo ng gusto sa buhay.

True. Language of love ko is quality time kaya nung kame pa hirap ako intindihin siya. Now that i am juggling between a day job and a business i guess somehow na gets ko na where he is coming from. But it is still not enough for me to get back with him. I need more time and it has to feel right kasi i am not getting any younger.

Late 30's na ako. Si ex naman 50yrs. Old na he was never married. He is married to his work, he has no barkada, he does not go out at night, napaka geek niya actually. He needs someone who can understand and accept the demands of his work. And whoever the girl is has to accept na second lang siya sa priority dahil his work will always come first.

@LABYU actually sis try lang ng try. Mag sign up ka sa iba't ibang dating site just to see kung saan mas mabenta ang beauty mo and kung saan mas madaming ok. Parang going to bars or clubs lang iyan, pag hindi ok ang crowd lipat sa iba. I have a friend who met a guy sa okcupid and they are now engaged. Yung iba nag meet sa chatrooms.

I always say this, just don't take it too seriously. And do not be too sensitive kailangan deadma ka lang kasi madaming weird sa online. Kanya kanyang type iyan. Kung hindi nag message back let him be baka hindi siya ang market mo. Also do not go for the good looking ones kasi chances are madami na nag me-message dun or baka nag catfish lang yun. Yung ibang mga gwapo hindi nila totoong picture yun.

[kvandenhaak]

^Basta yung mga tipong studio pics, malamang hindi kanila. But that is easy to verify.

[angeljolie]

^May ganyan ngang mga lalake. I met a guy like that online din. We never dated minsan chat chat lang. But he said he was working a lot and every weekend daw eh may plano ang GF nya and he can't deal with it so they broke up. Para yun lang break na?

I know right! Minsan nga naiisip ko kung kelan ulit manghihingi ng break ito eh hehe. Though I must admit I kinda needed the last break too. It has been refreshing. Narealize ko kahit hindi kami nagkikita every day, the time we spent texting each other was really taxing. I enjoyed my unexpected month-and-half freedom catching up on sleep and doing things I had to do but couldn't before the break.

Di ko rin naman alam ang future but I really don't expect us to be married...lol! He has some commitment issues.

Frankly, I don't expect us to be married too. Which is the exact opposite of what I planned. I also tend to believe he has commitment issues based on the last relationships he had. Don't ask me why I'm staying lol!
 

He, on the other hand, is locked to something he didn't want. He won't be able to openly date whoever he wants dahil maglulukaret si girl. But that's his problem.

Eto ang hindi ko ma-gets. Like how lukaret can she get? Wala naman syang karapatan maglukaret unless he is not doing his job as a dad. He's allowing her to have powers over him. Hindi tama, ipaglaban mo hehe.

@angeljolie, International cupid LOL level up kuno ako hahaha, yes madami din sa Filipino cupid kaya lang kasi di talaga nila ako gusto kahit napalitan ko na lahat ng pictures pati yung profile ko, naka ilang guys na rin ako na send-an ng message ako na talaga nag message to start a conversation but na-ah as in wala hahahaha may standard din ata sila o di lang talaga para sakin yun, buti na lang nga medyo busy busy na kaya try ko next time sa Int'l cupid baka may iba naman dun tee hee!

Actually hindi din ako mabenta sa FC. Kahit nga yung iba ang sinasabi sa profile nila they don't care about looks, hindi pa din nila ako type lol! Ok lang naman, baka ang general notion ng mga members dun about Pinays ay hindi ako. Or baka as usual, kasi 2 ang kids ko at maliit pa yung bunso ko. Someone actually told me he might regret it but he said he doesn't want to be a father to kids anymore kasi grown up na kids nya. He wants to enjoy his life with a partner na lang daw. I was glad he had the guts to tell me.

Anyway, balitaan mo kami sa IC ha lol! Good luck!

[angeljolie]

^Oh well. Most men kasi ayaw ng drama talaga kaya they just go with the flow. Hintayin lang nila magsawa yung girl kakadrama hahaha! Anyway, enjoy nyo na lang being each other's peace. At ipagdasal natin na mahimasmasan si girl.

[Apple1230]

Ex and i are back together. He did all the right things to win me over. Hindi siya ma salita, i mean he talks a lot about random stuff but when it comes to feelings he doesn't tell me much. What he lacks in words his actions speaks in volumes. i've been observing him since we started talking again, nung una talagang ayoko na i was just being civil but he kept pursuing me.

Matiyaga talaga siya and when i'm with him parang kameng 2 lang ang tao, may sarili kameng mundo. It's very organic hindi pilit yung balikan namin. We agreed to not make the same mistakes we did last time. Ako kasi minsan konting away lang nakikipag break nako agad so may fault din ako.

Regarding online dating i deleted my account already. I hope i never have to go back there again. Lucky are the ones who found their forever sa online dating sites.

I have a gay friend sa chat group niya daw na meet yung bf niya. Friends of friends then gumawa sila ng chat group. I guess people find love everywhere we just have to stay open and at times it's when you least expects it.

[Girltalker2]

I like this stage where we're at kasi parang nanliligaw siya ulit. He is pursuing me and he does everything i want. I sometimes give him a hard time just to test how much he wants me back, he passes with flying colors. Iniiba ko rin approach this time so we don't end up like before. I am observing his actions so until i have my doubts na katulad lang ito ng dati i cannot give him my heart again.

I think mas importante is how he is when you?re together.
Pansin ko kasi most pinoys sweet Pag nanliligaw. Pag kayo na, parang di na ganun ka thoughtful or kaalaga sa relationship.

[Apple1230]

^hi sis. I am realistic with my expectations, i know i am dating the same person so more or less kung ano mga ayaw ko sa kanya dati ganun pa din. We will have the same issues. I guess depende na sa akin kung tanggap ko ang lahat lahat sa kanya.

We agreed to do things differently this time around, looking back i know madami din ako pagkukulang. I always find fault in him while siya kahit may mga short comings ako ok lang. i can do no wrong in his eyes, and he lets the small things go. Sa 1year namin never pa niya ako inaway sa kahit ano. Kahit may time na almost every week i'm out with friends and pag nagkikita kame the next day i'm 3hours late at hindi niya ako makausap ng matino kasi may hang over ako.   

He has a western mindset not pinoy. He lived in london for a long time, actually he doesn't speak tagalog. Compared sa aming 2 mas maalaga siya. He doesn't require na pagsilbihan ko siya like most pinoys. Siya parati nag aasikaso sa akin he even wipes my shoes pag nadudumihan. All i have to do is show up pag kasama ko siya and he does everything. kaya siguro kahit nag try ako mag date ng iba subconciously na co-compare ko sila sa kanya. My friends say he is lucky to have me at mahihirapan na siya makahanap ng kagaya ko but i think it's  the other way around.

[Apple1230]

^thank you sis. Hindi din naging madali for me to decide kasi gusto ko sana yung next guy yun na talaga for me kasi sa totoo lang pagod na ako. I have been dating a long time and i have met a lot of guys, hindi na nga ako kinakabahan sa first date e. Feeling ko expert na ako sa dating sa dami na ng na meet ko.

These past few weeks i've been doing a lot thinking, and naisip ko wala naman perfect. I am not even a good girlfriend nung  kame pa pero wala siyang reklamo sa akin while me on the other hand he does everything and ang dami ko pa din reklamo. Sabi nga the key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found. I am tired of always beginning again. Maybe this time i have to stick with it and see what happens.

In your case naman baka hindi na siya nag reply kasi pinapa lipas lang niya yung init ng ulo mo. Guys have a tendency to avoid us pag galit tayo not because he does not  care but so that it will not be blown out of proportion. Ganyan din ex ko pag galit ako hindi na mag re-reply. Nagpapalipas lang para huwag na lumaki. Or sometimes they have no idea what they did so hindi sila maka reply kasi hindi nila alam ano issue. .

[Girltalker2]

Sis Apple, only you can know/feel if he is for you.
And sa dami ng naka date mo, if you think he is the best among them, you try it out.
Kaso let me ask lang, on the story you shared on being a brat, etc. Why do you think you don?t care for him as much as he does for you? Bakit mo naman nasabi na you?re not a good GF?

[Apple1230]

@kvandenhaak inaaway ko siya dahil lagi siyang busy kahit weekends he has to work sometimes. We cannot plan out of town trips kasi gusto niya sa condo lang niya or sa mall below his condo ayaw niya lumayo. If i want to go somewhere else or do something i invite my friends instead. Sobrang homebody niya, he doesn't go out, he doesn't drink, no parties. May point na na-bored ako sa ganun. But other than that wala kame issue. We get along well.

Give him time lang sis. Ako din pag nagagalit ako naghahamon ako parati ng break up. I guess that is another thing i have to change about me. Feeling ni ex bale wala mga pinagsamahan namin kasi ganun lang ayaw ko na. Baka ganyan din si athlete mo. We have a different mindset sa guys, pag may issue tayo gusto natin pinag uusapan sila naman pag alam nilang may issue sobrang umiiwas hoping na bukas wala na.
 

Kaso let me ask lang, on the story you shared on being a brat, etc. Why do you think you don?t care for him as much as he does for you? Bakit mo naman nasabi na you?re not a good GF?

Yung relationship kasi namin dati siya yung give ng give. I didn't do anything to make him feel loved. I just realized this when i was contemplating on taking him back. For him enough na kung ano ako at ano mga ginagawa ko he never demanded for more kaya feeling ko i was such a great gf that tiime. Haha. Inaaway ko siya if i don't get my way, although bihira naman sa 1yr mga 4x lang kame ang away pero pag inaway ko siya gusto ko break na agad.

Sa amin kasi i am the more attractive one and i acted like he was lucky to have me. I know sounds childish but i was like that. Nakatulong din yung time off namin kasi now na appreciate ko na siya. He still does the same thing workaholic pa din pero instead of feel ignored and throw a fit like before i try to understand him. Siguro dati sarili ko lang iniisip ko. It was always about me and what's in it for me. A realtionship should be give and take pero sa amin naging give siya ng give and ako take ng take. Sinanay niya kasi ako ng ganun. In our entire relationship i never texted him first. That was one of his complaints, para bang wala akong paki kung buhay pa siya or what. 

[angeljolie]

Apple1230, hehe natawa naman ako sa hindi ka na kinakabahan sa first dates. Siguro hindi mo kasi sila like. If you meet someone you like or you think may potential, malamang kakabahan ka ulit. On who's the better person in the relationship, I suggest wag mo na lang kwentahin. Relationships shouldn't be a matter of who gives more. The fact that you both still love each other should be enough reason to give it another try. Then decide kung tanggap mo yung kaya nyang ibigay lang. 

kvandenhaak anong nangyari at bakit nasabihan mo si athlete ng ayaw mo ng attitude nya?  At seryoso ba yang mga tiyahin at pinsan mo? What a waste of time!

[angeljolie]

^Ah may period ka ba? Lol! Kasi kung ganun sya from the start at sanay ka na na hindi sya nagrereply, why would the last time be any different? Attached ka na sa kanya tee hee!

Yung sa aunt and cousin mo, totoo hindi nila tinantanan yung mga lalake? Hindi naka move on?

May kwento ako. Medyo torn ako. Meron akong profile sa isang site na hindi ko dineactivate. Pero andun ako passively lang. Nagchecheck lang ako pag may nagmessage. Then last week may nagmessage saken. Black sya pero maganda ang physique hehe (makamundo nga ako!). He is 55 pero mukha talaga syang bata, parang 40 lang (no exaggeration). Andito na sya sa Manila, kaka relocate lang. Nag respond ako sa kanya. Sinubukan namin magkita last weekend pero hectic ang sched ko. Medyo persistent sya. Binigay nya saken contact details nya after nya ma prove na consistent naman ang mga sinasabi ko. Tinanong ko sya kung bakit sya nag relocate dito. Work daw. I asked what he does. Sabi nya he just accepted a job at tada...my workplace!!! So nagkita kami nung Monday sa office over coffee. Masaya sya kausap pero walang spark. Then ininvite nya ulit ako magkape today. Masaya pa din sya kausap pero wala pa din spark. Hehe. At kanina ininvite nya ako mag dinner. Sabi nya kahit wag muna ako sumagot agad. Pag isipan ko daw muna.

Feeling ko nagtataksil ako. Pero hindi ko kasi alam kung anong plano saken nitong si Pranses. Pero hindi ko naman din alam kung ipupursue ba ako ni itim talaga.

Any thoughts?