Online Dating (Thread 2)

[Shadow Angel]

^pansin ko rin madami pa rin Canadian na conservative isa na dun si hubby.

[nerddict]

^oo nga sis. kahit ako na-amaze na hindi naman pala lahat ng Canadians, liberated na. when you say conservative, kapareho din ng pagiging conservative ng mga nandito sa Pinas (mga beliefs, norms?)

[Shadow Angel]

^oo medyo nagulat nga ako kasi kahit family ni hubby conservative. Pero mga counsins nya mga liberated.

[kvandenhaak]

Conservative like they go to church every Sunday, very close sa family especially sa parents, sa married people hindi unusual yung the wives stays home to take care of their kids.

@Shadow Angel: You are in Canada right? I am sure you heard about the hockey team bus accident. It hit very close to home for athlete kasi laki sya sa Saskatchewan and of course he was playing. He travelled the same road during hockey season.

[Shadow Angel]

^yap sa Canada ako, about sa hockey grabe noh kung kelan tapos na winter madalas accident pag winter time.

Agree ako dyan sa mga na mention mo minsan kahit sa damit medyo conservative si hubby.

[Girltalker2]

^ yes heard about the accident

Anyway, I agree in having a fit and good looking partner

Pag nag d drive or natutulog masarap tingnan. I admire his long lashes (na wala ako!).

Kaya minsan naisip ko nga if ever we don?t work out, naku I wouldn?t want to be with someone w a belly or short. I still Want someone who is active sa sports and healthy.

[angeljolie]

Also heard about the accident. So tragic.

Kaya gusto ko dito sa thread na ito kasi mahihilig kayo sa pogi at macho hahahaha!

[kvandenhaak]

Pa-sampol nga ng mga hunks nyo dyan? Lol!

I thought din pag mga puti liberated, hindi pala. They are open minded pero malakas pa rin ang family at Christian values.

[Shadow Angel]

^kung pwede nga lang ishare kaso i choose not to reveal my hubby. Naala ko pa nun nasa pinas kami ni hubby madaming girls ang nagpapansin kahit na kasama ako tinatawanan ko lang. Si hubby naman serious look all eyes sa akin. Buti na lang hindi mahilig sa exotic si hubby hahaha.

[lalee888]

@lalee
So what I'm getting at is that, poverty leads to pack mentality, which in turn leads to Filipinos valuing kinship, which then leads to them asking relationship questions? (LOL)

So anyway, we are just trying to know the place of socio-economics, and I can see your point. Let's just integrate our theory *wink*

Re: individualistic

I don't just base it in my opinion, it's what countless of psychological research said. Unless the authors are not that credible enough. Or perhaps, I didn't elaborate on what "individualistic" really mean in the culture. It's more than the choice of marrying or not, having kids or not.

Re: on being single

Anyway, my reason for mentioning kinship is to imply that maybe the questionings are not really about Pinoy looking down at anyone who is single. That it has nothing to do with one's self-worth.

Take these progressive questions for example:
When you're single -- "kelan ka mag-bf?"
When you're in a relationship -- "kelan kayo magpapakasal?"
When married -- "kelan kayo mag-aanak?"
When there's a child -- "kelan susundan?"

For instance, with childless couples by choice, people don't look down on them or think they are less of a person, it's just that they're going out of the norm. But with the case of having a bf or not, sometimes it's not one's choice, which makes it all the more irritating. But I still don't think it has something to do with someone's worth. For me, in our culture, andun ka pa lang sa question number 1. Ako at shadowangel nasa number 3. LOL

Kasi when I place myself in a position of a single woman in her late 20s or 30s, I would feel lonely because I have a desire to be in an intimate relationship, yet "that man" (the one who has my non-negotiables and who I will emotionally connect with" does not exist or is not for me. I will be saddened by that thought, yet willing to accept it.

But I will not have a low self-worth due to people's conversational fillers. Nakakabwisit, yes, but it won't affect my self-worth. Because being single has nothing to do with it. And if someone judged you, makes herself feel better than you, then it's their issue. Otherwise, what I think about these questions, ang kulit lang, which again is stemming from the ingrained value of relations/kinship.

So personally, if placed in that position, I wouldn't need to prove myself to anyone. But I would want to prove things to myself or test my limits, which I still do until now.

hi sis glam09, cheers! I think our points are similar although it seems in different lines of thinking. But yes, since pinoys value kinship, they tend to JUDGE others who don't seem to be fitting that direction. And the truth is, nobody wants to be judged. No matter how secure one might feel about themselves (their choices and their accomplishments), the tone of judgment around is annoying. I personally can shrug it off immediately but i'll first roll my eyes and think nasty about the person passing judgment on me.

Ako rin natanong na halos lahat yang questions na yan in super lightning speed. Wala pa nga kame anak, dapat daw mag-anak na para masundan agad. it's really sad that women (not just pinays) are still judged by their uterus, as if my heart, my brain, and the rest of me has no bearing in my life's existence.

I know this has gone off topic but wanted to acknowledge your point sis, and wanted to rant na rin. 

[lalee888]

natuwa naman ako sa mga conservative canadian farmboys and hockey players... sa description pa lang nakaka drool. i have to catch myself, i'm married and can only admire and appreciate eye candy from a far na lang. 

so now i'm curious are most of the ladies here on this thread, foreign based? how's online dating naman in Manila? San kayo based mga sis? I'm based in New York and here, online dating is predominantly the way to meet a mate. Most of my guy and girl friends are online dating!

[otra_vez]

kvandenhaak: your son is so cute!

i think when it comes to conservative/liberal, it's not an issue of race but of where they come from. i live in the south so most people tend to be conservative (i'm a liberal). what is it they say? the issue of the US is primarily country vs city. yun talaga ang malaking divide and now that i live in a red state, i see it more clearly.

for me though hindi ko talaga naisip ever to be with a white american. though hindi ko naman talaga sila blinock. when i was dating, i did cast a wide net. i wanted to learn. at the same time, i didn't want to fetishize any particular race.

[kvandenhaak]

^Thank you! Mas promdi yan kesa sa akin. At times, he acts as my conscience.

[kvandenhaak]

@angeljolie: 28th birthday of your boy, Eric, today! LOL! Nagtext ulit sa akin the other day. He showed me some of his pictures when he was toddler. He was really cute. Nag-aaya lumabas but I said I can't. Hindi daw nya gusto ang hilatsa ni athlete...lol! He's not saying that because he's bitter daw. He said , "I know we won't be dating but I care about you." Basta daw ako masyadong ma-attach. Have fun daw but keep a distance. Magtu-two years na pala kaming magkakilala in July. Ang bilis din ng panahon.

[angeljolie]

^Aww pakisabi happy birthday (feeling close! LOL!)! Whaaat 2 years na? Ang bilis ng panahon! Did you ask if he's dating?

[angeljolie]

^Ha! Do you really think he's all goody two shoes? Sorry ayokong matiwala. #hugot

[angeljolie]

^LOL kumusta na ba si athlete? Ang swerte naman ng magiging gf ni Eric!

[zee87]

I just signed in to Tinder. On my first day, there are guys who are already asking me out. I havent said yes to anyone yet, is that alright?

[angeljolie]

^^Naku hayaan mo nga muna si athlete. Tama, tapusin mo muna mga dapat mo gawin. Anyway, pahiram nga ni Eric! LOL!

^Kahit ano pang app/site yan sis, be very careful. Tinder is known to be a hookup app (at least that's what my friends say) so ingat lagi. Not saying yun lahat ang hanap ng nasa Tinder, but do your homework.

[Apple1230]

I just signed in to Tinder. On my first day, there are guys who are already asking me out. I havent said yes to anyone yet, is that alright?

Normal naman yun but what is their profile? Mukha bang hookup lang hanap? And what about you what are you looking for there? Serious relationship or not? What about your profile are you projecting na pang serious ka or not?

Sa akin kasi from the get go long term relationship hanap ko so mga pics ko puro wholesome, i only like profiles of men na gusto rin long term or serious relationship. So when they message me and they ask me out right away ok lang sa akin.

Basta public place naman usually dinner or coffee ang invite and ako ang nagbibigay ng time and place coz they ask me to choose. Pag ang invite is his place, bar, club and may alcohol and lots of it for sure hookup lang yun kasi walwalan ang gusto. Nasa iyo naman kung ano hinahanap mo sa online dating and what is acceptable to you.