Okay, I wanna share my break-up story. But warning, this might be a long post..
I met my ex back in college, 2008 to be exact, through a common friend. That was March. Naging kami October. We had our fair share of cool offs and break ups hanggang 2010 but no one gave up. 2011 we graduated, sabay ng araw. Met the parents noon. He was warmly welcomed and accepted by my family, treated him already as an in law.
So 2011 nagkatrabaho kami but we always had time for each other. Minsan pa nga sa amin sya tumatambay after work. 2011 pa lang gusto na sya papuntahin ng kuya nya sa Canada pero hindi sya nakikinig. 2012 he had to work sa Dubai, 2 years contract yon. First time namin ang LDR. Okay naman. I sacrifice my sleep para magkachat kami. Hindi nya inantay ang contract nya na matapos kasi nagaplly sya sa Canada sa kuya nya. Umuwi sya after a year, 2013, dito sya nagayos ng papers nya. December 2013 nagpunta na sya sa Canada. So new environment, he met new people. We never had a problem naman nung una una sa communication kasi lagi kaming may time sa isa't isa. Ang problema lang talaga namin is yung time difference. Pero no big deal.
Fast forward to 2015, meron syang kaibigan na ang pakiramdam ko kakaiba. As in mabigat na para bang may gusto sa kanya. Sabi nya hindi naman. Wala daw yon. Magtiwala daw ako.
2016, we were already planning for our wedding kasi uuwi na sila ng 2017 e. I started researching for suppliers. And he's okay with it. September, we were video chatting, sabi nya may sasabihin sya. Then ayon, he admitted na he had a one night stand with the friend na mabigat ang pakiramdam ko. I know, woman's instinct. He said we needed to cool off kasi nagiguilty daw sya. Hindi daw nya maatim na maging kami dahil ng ginawa nya. Grabe ang sakit non, as in. I went through depression, losing weight and only weighing 42 kgs that time, as in buto na lumubog yung mukha ko. My friends and family became so worried. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. That time, talagang fixed ang mind ko na kami pa din at maaayos. Pero syempre hindi maalis sa isip ko na possible na may iba na sya kasi may pinopost sya hinting to it e.
January 2017, nagbirthday sya, there's this one girl who greeted him na yung mga kaibigan nya don parang ang comment is double meaning. I asked him this sabi wala daw. (linawin ko lang, hindi kami nagkabalikan, parang we were just "exclusively" dating pa din if that's what you can call it kasi he gets jealous when someone's being linked to me). Pero woman's instinct, alam kong may something dun sa kanila.
February, ayon, caught him thru the phone na sila nga. But he was denying it. Duda ko pa nga kahit nung kami pa nung 2016, magkausap na sila kasi may ebidensya. Kaloka. Sabi nya aayusin nya pagbalik ng Canada, ako daw ang mahal nya. Pero there was something inside of me na sinasabi na may mali. I couldn't trust jim. As in hirap ako pagtiwalaan sya kasi paano ba naman, wala akong nakikitang effort na nabawi sya.
So the latest, ended it na talaga kasi paulit na nagisisingaling kahit nahuli na at may ebidensya.
Ending it is the best decision kasi I can breathe again. Malaya na ako mula sa taong hindi naman karapat-dapat sa pagmamahal ko.
Lesson?
1. If it's not meant for you, it will never happen kahit gaano kayo katagal.
2. Just because his family loves you so much doesn't mean he feels the same way.
3. Trust your instinct, girlfriend! Gut feelings are guardian angels.
4. You have family and friends if you need support. Andyan lang sila palagi at wag ka mahiya lumapit.
5. Cry. it's okay to cry.
6. Love yourself. Pick up the pieces because no one would do it for you other than yourself. Lalo at ikaw lang ang nakakaaalam nasan yung mga pieces na yun nalaglag.
7. lastly, pray. Sobrang laki ng tulong ng prayer. Yung akala mo wala, pero andyan lahat ng signs ni God. iniignore mo lang. Pero trsut Him. He will never take away something na walang kapalit na better.
Ayan, natapos na. Mahaba pa yan dapat lalo, pinaikli ko na lang. hehe
