My break-up story

[fall2pieces]

Hindi na talaga sya nagparamdam. Lahat ng messages ko seenzoned lang. LDR kami at supposed to be magkita kami netong uwi nya ngayong December pero iba na yung mineet nya. :p

Ganito kasi seaman sya 12 hours, 7 days a week work nya. Mahirap yung communication namin madalas walang signal sa barko tapos very limited lang yung time namin mag-usap. Bihira lang kami magkausap sa isang araw. Kapag off nya papasok naman ako sa work tapos time difference 15 hrs. So ganon kami nagtitiyaga magpuyat maghintay ng messages mula sa kanya. Naisip ko mahirap pala tong pinasok ko.

Tapos netong huli eh hindi na sya nageeffort. Palagi na lang ako yung nauunang magmessage. Madalas nakikita ko nakaonline sya pero hindi sya nagmemessage sa akin. I felt neglected. Hanggang sa napuno na ko sabi ko bakit ganun parang ako na lang ang nageeffort? Sabi ko hahayaan ko na lang sya, magwork na lang sya siguro di kami para sa isa't isa. Di ko kaya ang ganitong set up. Di ko ineexpect na susuko na rin sya sakin. Di na raw nya ko pipilitin.

Tapos wala na. Ni ha ni ho wala na ko narinig mula sa kanya. Lahat ng messages ko seenzoned. Hanggang sa makauwi sya ng Pinas, hindi sya nagparamdam. Natapos ang Pasko't bagong taon hanggang sa aalis na sya ulit.

Hanggang sa nakita ko na may iba na sya.

Ang bilis nya makamove on. In less than two months nakahanap na agad. Or maybe matagal na talaga nyang kachat yon habang kami pa. He used that girl as a back up in case na hindi kami nagwork. At siguro hinintay na lang nyang maggive up ako tapos dun na sya sa bago nya. Or gumawa na lang sya ng way out. Worse ako pa bineblame nya for the break up. He made me feel guilty and at fault when it was him who was doing something wrong.

Ginawa pa nyang profile picture probably to make me hurt or to show in my face na nakamove on na sya. When I saw the girl I thought hindi worth it yung pinalit sa akin. Then I felt like again, why?  wasn't I enough? Anong kulang sa akin?

Naisip ko yung mga time na wala syang time sa akin, binibigay nya yung time na yun sa iba. Yung mga time na naiinis sya sa akin sa pagiging clingy ko (clingy pa ba yun?) kasi may iba na syang kausap. Kasi kung mahal mo cute sayo yung pagiging clingy, yun pala sa iba na sya nakukyutan. Di ko alam kung saan ako nagkulang. Lahat ginawa ko. Lahat ng pagtitiis ginawa ko. Nasayang lang ang lahat. Sabi ko sa kanya nasayang lang ang lahat, kahit sarili ko nalang kausap ko dahil di na sya nagrereply.

Pakiramdam ko nagmukha akong t*nga. Nagsorry pa ako kasi baka nasaktan ko sya o may nasabi akong mali. Pero di nya tinanggap. Ignore nya lahat ng messages ko, di nya ko inaccept sa FB. Hanggang sa binlock ko na lang sya kasi di ko na kayang makita pa kung anong ginagawa nya. Hanggang sa nakita ko may babae sa profile nya. Proud na proud sya ginawa pa nyang profile pic. Samantalang ako di nya binabanggit kahit minsan.

Pero ako naman talaga yung sinaktan. Ako yung sinabihan ng masasakit. Nagdadrama lang daw ako. Ako yung ginamit. Ginawang libangan.. I felt used. I felt neglected. I felt betrayed. I felt worthless.

My self-esteem was at an all-time low. I felt like I wasn't enough. Hello.. tinanggap ko na nga lahat sa kanya.. pati hitsura nya... pero he still left me.. he treated me as trash.

I was traumatized. I don't know if I could love again after this.. I gave love to the wrong person. I was loyal to the wrong person. It wasn't worth it. He didn't deserve everything.  He didn't deserve me.

Naisip ko na lang lahat ng negative traits nya. He was immature, insensitive and selfish. He was uncompromising. Naisip ko bigla the way he treated me. I realized that I deserved better than that. I realized my worth and that I shouldn't settle for less than I deserve. I can't be with that kind of person forever. Mabuti na habang maaga, nakilala ko sya.

Naiisip ko na merong reason kaya nangyari 'to. Kinailangan nyang mawala to give way for something better. Right now I'm still angry at him and what happened but time heals all wounds. Darating yung araw na wala ng sakit. Darating yung araw na wala na akong nararamdaman. It will come.. and by then maybe I would be ready to love again.

I still believe that if it's meant to be, it will be. Hindi pinipilit lahat ng bagay. We need to let things go where they may. Let life happen. Accept things and move on even if it's hard.
I just have to be thankful that I won't have to put up with that again.

Sorry napahaba, i just need to let it out.

[Girltalker2]

{Naisip ko na lang lahat ng negative traits nya. He was immature, insensitive and selfish. He was uncompromising. Naisip ko bigla the way he treated me. I realized that I deserved better than that. I realized my worth and that I shouldn't settle for less than I deserve. I can't be with that kind of person forever. Mabuti na habang maaga, nakilala ko sya.}

Be thankful nawala na sya.
Ldr? Seaman? Hirap ka as a gf, not to mention as a wife. Wala kayong normal family time.

I agree you deserve better. Hanap ka nalang ng iba na hindi ldr at hindi seaman.

[Apple1230]

^^ok lang yan sis. Let it out para mas gumaan ang pakiramdam mo.

Ako 1 week before christmas we broke up. Almost a year kame together ni ex. I applied the no contact rule. After the break up ginawa ko yung mga hindi ko magawa nung kame pa. then nagkataon holiday so naging busy din. I also tried online dating. May mga nag aaya makipag meet. I met up with 1 guy. So siguro kahit paano na divert yung attention ko and hindi ko na siya naiisip or hindi ko na chine-check phone ko hoping he would message me.

I also wrote sa journal para ilabas lahat ng feelings ko the first few days. I also wrote my plans and goals for next year so i have something to look forward to. Basta anything that can get my mind of my ex ginawa ko. And yun din iniisip ko yung mga reasons why we will never work.

Nag message siya nung January 2, why am i ignoring him daw. Greeted me happy new year and wants to drop by my house may naiwan pa kasi akong shoes sa kanya ihahatid niya daw. I told him to donate it na lang. naka move on na ako parang stranger na tingin ko sa kanya. I know ang bilis pero i don?t feel anything anymore. Pag inisip ko kung paano kame noon ayoko na ng ganun.

2018 na. A chance to begin again and do something great with my life. May man o wala i will still have a blast this year. I get to choose how i want the rest of my story to go and I won?t play the victim.

[Ms. Undecided]

^^^ Hugs sis
Let?s start this year full of positivity. Sorry wala ako maipapayo kasi medyo broken parin ako hehe. Pero ipagpasa-Diyos mo lahat. Tama ka, if it?s meant to be, it will be. Yung mga hindi pinapalad sa buhay ngayon, baka sila yung mga matitigas yung ulo na panay ang pilit ng hindi pwede kaya kakapilit eh mas napasama. Ako talaga yung process eh ipnagkatiwala ko na kay God, at totoo nga na hindi niya tayo pababayaan God heals the broken hearted Cheer up Happy new year!

[anim_p]

Hi sis. Alam mo kaya mo yan. Surround yourself with family and friends.
One day, mapapagod ka nalang magkwento and then you'll realize na nakamove-on ka na.
Tama na ilabas mo lang yan.
Yeah it hurts. It sucks. Pero after nyan, it will all be okay.
Ganyan din naramdaman ko dati. Indeed, time heals.
You'll find someone that is so much better. I promise you that. 

[fall2pieces]

@Ms Undecided thanks sis I guess I'm on the road to recovery na.  I've seen the worst na rin kasi and i guess sign na yun na finally bury the hatchet and start to move on. Ipinapasa-Diyos ko na rin lahat. And with the help of my friends din na nakalimutan ko din sila  noon, napansin ko na yung mga taong totoong nagmamahal sa akin. Sila yung mga taong di ka iiwanan thru thick and thin. May mga times kasi na nakalimutan k mga friends ko, pero ngayon nagkeep in touch na ko sa mga old friends ko since nawala yang ex ko.

@anim p thanks sis.. I really want to write about it kasi di ko pwedeng magawa sa FB ito. Siguro yun ang focus ko ngayon sarili ko and yun nga surround myself with people who love me.

At saka iniisip ko lagi time heals all wounds.  Yung time talaga kakampi ko ngayon.

[preciousjulia]

Hi TS! Idol kita  haha.. I like how you handle your situation..totoo naman na pag nag mahal ka and nag end yung relationship masakit sa una. Pero gusto ko yung part na sinabi mo sarili mo na hindi mo deserve yung ganung pain and treatment from your ex at ikaw mismo sa sarili mo alam mo kung ano deserve mo.. God bless you sis.

[fall2pieces]

^ Thank you sis @preciousjulia Idol talaga sis.. hehe.. Salamat may nainspire kahit papaano..

Sa tingin ko kasi I really messed it up but natuwa naman ako na ok naman pala paghandle ko sa situation hahah..

True sis, kasi kung di nangyari to, kung di sya nawala,  di ko marerealize yung worth ko and what I deserve. It had to happen, wake up call kumbaga para marealize ko na hindi ako dapat magsettle sa ganoon and I deserved so much better.

[sweet21]

^You'll get over him sis. Just like you, nakipag break din ex bf ko just last month. We had a heated argument that resulted to a break up. I was devastated and shocked. Na ganon ganon lang bumigay sya kagad. Worst, sinabi nya babalikan nya ex nya at matutunan din nya mahalin tapos after a few minutes nagtext na mahal daw nya ex gf nya. Sobrang na shock ako. Kasi almost 4 years kami, I felt I was cheated on. 1 week palang kami break, may kapalit na kagad. I stayed with during the lowest point of his life, but when everything went well for him, bigla nya akong iniwan. Looking back, meron ako pain, anger at inis sa sarili na sana pala iniwan ko sya when I had reasons to leave kaso hindi ko sya iniwan kasi sobrang mahal ko sya, na kahit anong mangyari hindi ko sya iiwan. Pero don pumasok yung realization na confused pala sya. Hindi alam ang gagawin. Head over heels sya sakin a week after kami mag away tapos boom biglang nawala.Kasi iba iba pala talaga ang mga lalaki, nandyan yung boy, player, confused man at real man. Sadly, I fell for a player and a confused man pala. I believe everything happens for a reason. First two years, nag propose sya sa akin I wasn't ready yet to get married, madami pa ako gusto gawin. Siguro nainip na rin sya. Kaya siguro nag result din to, pero kapag mahal ka talaga ng tao kahit gaano katagal or kahirap magiintay ka. Don't be so hard on yourself sis. Dumaan din ako dyan. At ngayon naisip ko the best revenge, is to be happy at magpaganda haha. Kapag nakita ka nya na masaya at lalo pang gumanda doon sya masasaktan. Naisip ko rin buti na lang nangyari to kasi had I said yes to his proposal, baka mag cheat din sya while we are married. Pero I believe meron parin matitino na lalaki, don't close your doors in meeting new people. And dapat talaga hindi binababa ang standards.

Advice ko lang, let it out sis. Cry if you need to. Tapos gawin mo yung mga bagay na nakakapag pasaya sayo. Ako I believe may dadating pa na mas ok  para sayo ganon din sakin. Kaya blessing in disguise na rin nawala sila satin.

[fall2pieces]

@sweet21 thanks sis. ganyan din sinabi ng ex ko. di sa kin pero sa mga tropa nya, mahal nya pa daw ex nya so parang ang gulo nya. I felt cheated din na after all this time mahal nya pa rin ex nya na matagal ng wala. he treated me like nothing. tapos malalaman ko may new girl na. like kakasabi nya lang mahal nya ex nya tapos may bago na. so I'm not even sure if serious sya dun sa bago. ang dali naman nyang mainlove kung seryosohan talaga yun. I mean there's the ex me and the new girl. so I was dealing with a confused boy and a player. sana nga talaga iniwan ko na sya kaso like you hindi ko din ginawa. I stuck by him during hard times pero nung masaya na iniwan na ako. I got nothing in return...

I guess tama ka hindi dapat binababa ang standards kasi hindi worth it. Hindi worth it yung pain na mararamdaman mo once the person disappoints you. Never compromise your standards. Don't care if nobody reaches that standard of yours, really.  It's not worth the pain and suffering.

[preciousjulia]

@fall2pieces..eh kasi naman sis i was cheated din before. Bata pa and so naive that time.. masasabi kong hindi ko masyado na-handle ng mabuti yung heartaches ko nun. Yes pinaglaban ko for the sake na ayaw kong maiwan mag-isa. Ano yun sya lang ang masaya?! No way! Naghiwalay din naman sila eventually pero the process was so mahirap and stressful for me. Pero yun nga na-feel ko kasi na hinihintay lang nya kung sino unang bibitaw samin nung isa, so ang ginawa ko kinaibigan ko si girl para ipa-realize sa kanya na hindi kami dapat nagpapagamit sa mga walang kwentang lalaki. Pero kung ibabalik ko yung time na yun, dapat iniwan ko na sya agad. Sayang time ko, nagpa-stress lang ako. Natatawa na lang ako now pag naalala ko yun coz i'm happily married now. Thank you Lord!

[fall2pieces]

Kaya nga eh someday tatawanan ko na lang din ito at maiisip ko kung bakit ba nagpakastress ako sa taong yun na hindi naman worth it. Good for you sis. Sana ako din makahanap na ng forever, hehe.

[sk8rboyswife]

Ang sad naman ng thread na to Makaka move on din tayo girls. Similar din break up namin kay TS na inignore na lang ni ex completely.  We just had a tough time, kasi may nanggugulo sa relationship namin so we just gave up, both of us. Ayaw ko sana sya mawala sa buhay ko eh. Kaso he blocked me. LDR din to. Pero sa kanya lang ako completely nagtiwala sa 1 LDR relationship, I didn't worry about anything kasi consistent sya nagpaparamdam eh and our video calls.

Just sad we are planning to have a family together na. Mas okay na rin siguro to. Baka makahanap pa sya ng mas better saken.

[bunnylai11]

Ang sad naman ng thread na to Makaka move on din tayo girls. Similar din break up namin kay TS na inignore na lang ni ex completely.  We just had a tough time, kasi may nanggugulo sa relationship namin so we just gave up, both of us. Ayaw ko sana sya mawala sa buhay ko eh. Kaso he blocked me. LDR din to. Pero sa kanya lang ako completely nagtiwala sa 1 LDR relationship, I didn't worry about anything kasi consistent sya nagpaparamdam eh and our video calls.

Just sad we are planning to have a family together na. Mas okay na rin siguro to. Baka makahanap pa sya ng mas better saken.

sooner or later, magiging okay rin tayo.
still hoping for the best! 

[preciousjulia]

Let go mo na sis Bunnylai11. Na-stress ka na eh.  Karamihan naman satin dito dumaan sa heartbreak pero nalagpasan at happy na ngayon. Mahirap sa umpisa kasi nga mahal mo diba, nasanay na nandyan sila..sa una lang yan. Alam ko madali sabihin, mahirap gawin pero pasasaan ba at makakarating ka din sa dapat mong puntahan. It's a process.

Hayaan  mo na lang muna sya baka need lang muna nya ng time mag-isa. Focus ka muna sa sarili mo. Magpaganda ka. Gawin mo yung mga bagay na gusto mong gawin o hindi mo pa nagagawa.

Alam mo ba yung book na Men are from Mars Women are from Venus? May part dun na ang sabi ang mga guy daw dumadating talaga sa point na napapagod din. Para daw silang rubber band..minsan need mag stretch palayo. Hayaan mo lang. Kung wala naman syang iba at nakita ka nyang nag-iimprove habang wala sya babalik daw yan ng better din kasi nakapahinga na sila.
Try mo na lang basahin yung book kung hindi mo pa nabasa para lang maka-kuha ka ng idea kung bakit sya ganun baka sakali makatulong para mas maintindihan mo din kung may pinagdadaanan man sya.

Well, kung meron naman syang iba atleast diba na-save mo sarili mo sa kanya.

[fall2pieces]

Wala na ako nararamdamang pagmamahal sa ex ko. The only thing I feel is disgust and hate. There's still feelings involved but it's not love anymore. It still hurts. Matagal bago ko pa mapatawad since wala namang humihingi ng tawad.

Yung part na pagpapatawad ang nahihirapan ako dahil di nya naman deserve. Mahirap magpatawad kung hindi deserving at hindi humihingi ng tawad, lalo pa at sa tingin nya eh ako ang mali.

Pero sabi nila mas magiging okay kapag napatawad mo na.  Siguro  taon ang bibilangin bago mangyari yun at para sa sarili ko nalang yun.

Iisipin ko na lang na wala na sya, di na sya nageexist, dahil everytime na makikita ko sya at pamilya nya maaalala ko kasi lahat.

Makakalimutan ko na talaga completely kapag nakahanap na rin ako ng iba. 

[VannyVanvan]

Pwede ba ilabas dito yung sobrang painful na break up story ko?

[bunnylai11]

sis preciousjulia thank  you for that. sige i'll try to find that book and basahin na rin. 

[bunnylai11]

Pwede ba ilabas dito yung sobrang painful na break up story ko?

oo naman sis. let it out lalo na if makakagaan sayo

[VannyVanvan]

My very painful break up story:

I met someone 2008 and we ended up in the same company. We met again in the US when I went there for work. I knew that he was illegal in the US and I even offered to help with his problem. So naging kami but I had to go back to Manila. We were LDR for 2.5 years. Na mention niya na ok na problem niya sa US with the help of his aunt and lola. Pero there was something kinda odd about this but di ko nalang masyado pinansin dahil ok naman communication namin and all.  On our 3rd year I went back sa US and then thats when I noticed more odd things. I also listened to my instinct so thats when I decided to open another fb account then may nakita ako. He married a woman 13 years older than him. I confronted him about this and inamin niya he had to marry a US citizen but the fact that I am sa us citizen too na sana sinabi nalang niya sa akin para natulungan ko siya but ayaw naman daw niya. I told him I was leaving him and thats when nag maka awa siya na ako talaga mahal niya. So pinag bigyan ko siya. He went back to Manila After a few months but then lagi siya namama dali. Pina kilala niya ako sa sister and brother niya but things didnt change on my end.  So our ldr relationship continued. It was starting to get really toxic and umaayaw na ako siya naman ang di pumapayag. Halos everyday umiiyak ako inside dahil di ko matanggap ginawa niya. Pa post pa si cougar ng mga vacay nila while ako nasasaktan. Nag decide na ako wag na siyang kausapin then I get a message from his former friend that he didnt only cheat on me but there was more. [textspeak!] galit ko sa kanya sobra as in... parang gusto ko siyang masira dahil sa mga nagawa niya sa akin then parang wala lang na sa kanya. Mga sis what can you say about this type of guy? Bakit di sila nadadala or nakakarma???