Erectile Dysfunction

[Mela]

I need help...

My husband is hypertensive & diabetic at 42, which means he can barely get it up when we have sex. He is still able to pleasure me (orally or with his fingers), but I am racked by guilt. I want to be able to please him also. The problem is, he doesn't want to discuss it with his doctor, to improve our sex life.
When I talk to him about it he just says, as long as I'm happy & satisfied, he's happy & satisfied. I know, sweet & generous, but he deserves to be happy also. And I am more than willing to do it for him but he stops me because he gets frustrated when nothing happens after a while.

I want to sneak some pills into his daily coffee or tea, ( i used to give him GNC Arginmax with his coffee, but because he's a tea drinker now, it will become obvious). I know, bad of me, but it's the safest pill i know so far. Robust is out of the question because of the adverse side effects, I want to make him try viagra but I'm also scared of the side effects for him.

I want to be able to help him without resorting to sneaking behind his back. Should I discuss it with my ob-gyne? Or his doctor? Help po