A married man is flirting with me.

[young_maiden]

Hi mga sis and bros. I need to vent this out. Please don't judge me. Anyway, if you do, i deserve to be judged naman. But I also need to be understood and I need advice.

Ever since naging lawyer ako, four married men flirted with me. Married Man No. 1 was an old fubu back in college. He messaged me thru messenger asking me out and wanting to rekindle our fling kahit married na siya. I told him na ayaw ko and I blocked him sa messenger na.

Married Man No. 2 is a hearing officer (kalevel ng judge) sa isang government agency. Tantya ko nasa fifties na ang age. He saw me alone malapit sa hearing room nya and told me to go inside his office. I thought naman may ipapasabi lang sa mga boss ko kaya nung hiningi number ko, binigay ko agad. Then he started to ask personal questions like taga-saan ako, ilan kami magkakapatid, saang school ako nag graduate. Hanggang sa tinanong ako kung may bf ako at niyaya pa nya ako mag dinner at uminom with him. Nung di na ako comfortable, I excused myself politely kasi hearing officer pa rin siya. When he texted, I ignored his text. Di na niya ako kinulit ulit.

Married Man No. 3 is a fellow lawyer na 20 years tanda sa akin. Nasa province siya. He befriended me by constantly messaging me on messenger. Law-related naman usually pinag-uusapan namin. Di ko binigyan ng malisya kasi nga may edad na at magkaibigan sila ng tita ko. At first I thought friendly lang. Kaso may time na di ko na siya masyado nakaka-usap dahil sobrang busy ako sa work. He said miss na daw niya ako makachat ng matagal. Sana daw umuwi ako sa province para may kakwentuhan daw siya in person. Tuwing may ipopost akong pic sa Day ko sa messenger, he would send flirty emoticons or magcocomment ng nice pic o pretty daw ako. I sensed na may malisya na so di ko na masyado ni-entertain messages niya.

Pero nung dumating si Married Man No. 4 nag-iba na lahat. Married Man No. 4 is the childhood bestfriend of Married Man No. 1. I met him 10 years ago thru a common friend. He added me sa fb nung 2014 pero rarely lang kami mag usap sa fb chat. Nung naging lawyer na ako, saka lang siya madalas kumausap sa akin. He said sabihan ko daw siya kung nasa Makati ako. Mag lunch daw kami.

Type ko talaga si Married Man No. 4 kahit nung single pa siya pero I never had the guts to befriend him or flirt with him. When I met him 10 years ago thru a common friend, he immediately asked for my number kinabukasaan sa friend namin. Madalas niya ako itext noon pero I did not entertain him kasi taken ako noon hanggang sa tumigil na siya.

Balik tayo sa current time. Isa din siyang panay comment sa mga pics ko ng smiley emoticons. Then 2 weeks ago, he asked me out for dinner. To my surprise, I said yes. We went out na kaming 2 lang. Dinner at inom ng beer. Siya ang taya. He lied to his wife. Sabi nya friends niya kasama niya pero sa totoo, ako.

Nahihibang na ako pero honestly I had fun that night. I am currently heartbroken because of a guy friend who friendzoned me. Si Married Man No. 4 distraction ko. Masaya ako kasama siya. I know he is married. Nung July lang sila kinasal nung wife nya. Pero I could not resist him. Every time he texts or calls, sumasagot ako. Nakakalimutan ko broken heart ko because of him.

After our first "date", madalas pa rin kami mag-usap sa phone. Nagkikita pa rin kami pero patago lang. Palusot kay misis overtime daw sa work.

Heto na ang part na alam kong kamumuhian nyo ako. Something happened between us already. I know mali. I know huhusgahan nyo ako for doing it with him. I am not in love with him. Iba ang gusto sa mahal di ba. Pero meron sa kanya which makes me feel relevant na hindi ko makita sa ibang guys. Doon sa guy friend ko na ni-friendzoned ako, I felt worthless and taken for granted. Dito kay Married Man No. 4, I felt important and special. Unfortunately, meron kami naapakang tao who happens to be his wife.

It breaks my heart na ang malas ko sa pag-ibig. Yung taong gusto ko ayaw sa akin. Meron naman lumalapit pero mga may sabit na. Yung mga matitinong faithful guys ayaw sa akin. Mga lumalapit babaero.

The nega side of me thinks na baka ito na talaga tadhana ko. Either maging single habang buhay or be another man's mistress. 8 years na ako single at naghihintay sa next bf ko pero wala pa rin siya. I would be lying if sinabi ko na sa 8 years na single ako, never ako nakaramdam ng loneliness.

On the other hand, meron ako small fantasy na baka si Mr. Right biglang darating pag ganito situation ko. He would be the one to save me and get me out of this situation kung saan mistress ako. He would assure me na I deserve more at di ako dapat gawing kabit. Pero a part of me thinks ilusyon lang yun at ang tanging makakaligtas sa akin ay sarili ko lang.

sa mga sis and bros na kilala ako in real life, please do not divulge this to other people. parang awa nyo na.  dito ko na lang nilabas kasi hirap ako i-open up sa mga friends ko in person.

[airish_2]

The question is until when mo gagawin yan?

Hanggang 60 years old ka at ka FB mo pa rin si married guy?

Exit while you can girl, bakit ka magtitiis sa married guy? Magkaroon ka naman ng emphathy sa wife. Siguro kaya naiisip mo na ganyan na magiging lagay mo kasi that's how you attract things,sabi nga nila law of attraction. You know what to do pero in denial ka kasi nakakakuha ka ng attention with this guy.

Try to divert your attention para hindi ka nakafocus ka MG. 😊

[ficklemind]

kaw na maysabi sis, hinde mo naman mahal so ngayon pa lang tapusin mo na yan.

Jusko, wala pa palang 1 year kasal, kawawa naman wife, really sis, you find this guy attractive? (sorry for being so judgy lolss kasi naman bagong kasal lang  dapat honeymoon stage pa sila )

Eto tingin ko sis ah, sorry, pero mukhang mahihirapan ka iresist yan kasi sabi mo nga lonely ka, siya ang nagpupuno ng kung ano ang wala ka ngayon at hinahanap mo, goodluck na lang sis kung itutuloy mo yan.
You are old enough to know ano tama at mali 

eto naman usually situation ng mga girls na kumakabit, keso brokenhearted, lonely at takot na wala ng iba pang single guy na dumating. Naku sis, kasali ka na  peace!

dagdag lang, para makaiwas sa mga married na, Wag na kasi ientertain sa chat kahit  about work or career pinaguusapan niyo. Hinde naman makikipagchat sayo ang isang lalake ng wala lang diba, for sure interesado yun sayo.

[kvandenhaak]

There's nothing good that's gonna come out of that. Run while you can.

[Girltalker2]

This just proves my theory.
Mga lalaki dyan satin sadyang Hindi faithful. Kokonti lang talaga faithful.
Most of them either married, bakla, babaero.

Sa pinas, dami narin willing kabits. Kasama ka na ba doon? 😢

Sakin TS, you really have to learn to be happy on your own. Hindi mo puede isipin na kelangan mo ng lalaki para mabuhay. Yes Kung Meron great, kung wala, you should know how to stand on your own, live life and enjoy life.

[young_maiden]

Maraming salamat sa feedback nyo mga sis. Sa mga nag criticize sa akin, i deserve it. Engot ako eh.

I've been praying to God na sana makaya ko to at sana dumating na si Mr. Right ko. I am just tired of being alone. :-(

[ficklemind]

^ makakaya mo yan sis, huwag mong isipin na  wala ng dadating, You deserve a better man. Tama si Girltalker2, learn to be happy on your own.
Iba pa rin ang saya ng wala kayong tinataguan, niloloko etc. Toxic lang aabutin mo dyan.
Kaya habang maaga pa, takbo ka na, baka lumala pa.

[Miss Taken]

Don't wait for someone to save you sis, save and love yourself first.

You may be the current apple of his eye pero until when? If nagawa niyang magcheat then I'm sure after he's done with you eh may ibang babae na naman na marupok ang magagawa niyang lokohin.  It shouldn?t be only about your feelings but please consider kung ano mararamdaman nung wife pag nalaman niya yung about sa inyo nung husband niya. Always remember the Golden Rule: Never do to others what you don?t want to be done to you.

You can't just pray and do nothing, you will only end up in tears. Alam mo ng mali so you have to make a way to make things right. Know your place and your worth.

[glamorosa_09]

Something about you attracts manloloko men...

How's your posture, how do you make eye-contact (straight/direct, or indirect), how do you speak (low or clear/confident voice), how do you carry yourself? Baka lang kasi your external behaviors suggest loneliness, neediness, low self-esteem, low self-confidence. Kaya predators are attracted to prey on you. At baka ito rin ang dahilan bakit the good single men are not attracted to you. Pwedeng the good men are intimidated to you, pero kung kasing level mo lang, eh I think intimidation does not hold true. Theory ko lang naman ito. Pwedeng mali.

Just like what others said, love yourself first, be happy of what you have. If you have deep life issues, see a psychotherapist. If you learn to love and accept yourself, then in will show on your aura. Do volunteer works kung wala ka pa. Attend organizations to build yourself skill further and to meet new friends. Make God/Jesus your boyfriend, you can tell him everything.

But I commend you for warding off the first three men. With this Married man # 4, naiintindihan ko mahirap kumawala, dahil there is attraction plus neediness. But I hope you find the strength to do what is right. Before, you were just contending with loneliness, now you will contend not just with loneliness, but also with guilt, contempt of yourself, and others. Mas lalong walang kapayapaan ang pag-iisip mo. Again, theory ko lang.

[bratty]

Hindi ko na tinapos yung post mo sis... Babalikan ko na lang pag kalmado ako, lol!

Ang masasabi ko lang, have some respect to other women.

Good luck sis!

[Girltalker2]

I've been praying to God na sana makaya ko to at sana dumating na si Mr. Right ko. I am just tired of being alone. :-(

Sis be the Ms Right first bago ka mahahanap ni Mr Right. Nasa tao ang gawa, nasa Diyos ang awa. Kung panay dasal ka pero ikaw mismo you're not helping the situation, eh di wala din.

Lawyer ka, matalino ka, use your talent to ward off married men.
Isipin mo nalang, the more you get involve with married men, the less chances of you meeting mr right. Kaya iwasan mo iyan.

Do you think if an eligible bachelor gets to know you, paano sya magiging interested if you're with someone married? More so, if maging interested man sya at malaman nya later na naging kabit ka, how would he feel? Of course puede mo sabihin Kung mahal ka talaga nya, tatanggapin ka nya. But then you're making things worse for you.

Tsaka walang secret na Hindi nabubunyag. If the Wife finds out at mag iskandalo sa office, anong mukha pa ihaharap mo sa Ibang tao? Worse, if sa social media pa nya ipost. If May pics kayo ni guy or sex video, better erase them all. It can haunt you for a lifetime.

Sis young_maiden, what do you have currently? A great career, you're still young and (hopefully) a reputation to uphold to. Huwag mo sayangin. Men will come, sift through them and be Ms Right muna by learning about life On your own.

Life is complicated enough. Just live it and enjoy it nang wala kang inaagrabyado. Mas masarap matulog sa gabi. Be the best bachelorette available out there, and I'm sure eligible men will come.

[plumpolka]

Do you love him or is it just a sexual pleasure? But regardless, you know what to do while you still can. And even if lumalim ang feelings nyo, more fubu na, how would you trust someone na recently married and yet he?s already cheating on his wife with you. Siguro you are not a mistress kung wala naman feelings involved, pero kung meron na, are you sure you want to be in a situation where you can never win? Lawyer ka, alam mo dapat san ka lulugar. Alam mo kung san ka mananalo. Sexual infidelity is never a ground for annulment. At worse, pwede ka pabg kasuhan ng legal na asawa pag nagka-bukuhan na and lahat ng pinag aralan mo, pinaghirapan mo, mawawala na just because of this married man. Are you sure he will give up everything for you? Pwede ka ma disbar dyan di ba? Are you willing to sacrifice all yoir hardwork, your title as atty, your morale for pleasure? Mahirap talaga tanggihan ang temptations. The devil always transforms into someone/something you like hanggang malunod ka nya sa kasalanan. Isip bago magsisi.

[airish_2]

Pahabol lang sis, mabuti nga siguro at hindi tayo magkakilala pero sasabihin ko din ito ng personal if ever.
Mabuti naman at binabasa mo ang reply dito pero siguro andoon nga na matalino ka kasi nga naging lawyer ka pero medyo bobo ka sa mga nangyayari sa paligid mo medyo narcisstic ka at iniisip mo lang ang sarili mo. Dapat isipin mo ang sarili mo na hindi ka nakakatapak ng ibang tao, be happy on your own pero maging responsable ka naman na mamamayan.

Kaya di bale na marami akong boyfriend basta walang sabit(No GF), kesa naman lalandi ako may asawa pa.

If I have to resign just to get away to this malanding married guy I will do it. Basta married off limit and ka turn-off, sorry kasi I just don't know siguro ikaw nga nakaya mo makipag sex sa kanya kahit alam mo may asawa siya, ako kasi I rather finger f*ckin myself than to be f*** by a married a guy. Medyo trigger ako kasi I have a friend na katulad mo pero awa ng dyos natauhan din!

[three8one]

may kwento ako... medjo umiinit ang mga comments, gawin natin light. easyhan nyo lang mga sis! 

sa langit, kausap ni san pedro ang isang banal na tao na kararating lang mula sa lupa. alam natin na pag sinabing banal talagang wala siyang kapintasan.. makalipas ang ilang minuto nilang pag uusap nakarinig sila ng tinig ng mga anghel na nagbubunyi.. nag aawitan, tumutugtog ng mga instrumento. masaya ang lahat. napag alaman ng dalawa na may dumating na isang attorney sa langit. kaya dali daling iniwan ni san pedro ang banal na tao para salubungin ang attorney at buong galak nai welcome ito. hindi nakapagtimpi ang banal na tao kaya natanung nya kay san pedro ang ganito:

banal: san pedro, walang halong inggit o ano man, bakit nyo ko iiwan agad gayong kararating ko lang. at nung dumating ako ni wala man lang anghel na sumalubong sa akin.

sagot ni san pedro:

san pedro: pasensya ka na kapatid, ngayon lang kasi may nakapasok na attorney dito sa langit. siya ang kauna unahan. 

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TS, kaya pala medjo hindi ka na active sa pag post mo dito ng mga tungkol sa kras mo. hehe.

ang masasabi ko lang, umalis ka na sa kasalukuyang kinalalagyan mong sitwasyon. di bale ng masaktan ka ng ilang buwan o taon. lilipas din yan pag nakalimot ka na. mabuti ng mabuhay ka sa katotohanan kesa mabuhay ka sa kasinungalingan na alam mo kahit habambuhay hindi ka magiging masaya sa piling ni pak boi #4.

 

[hushush]

^isang bagsak sayo three8one.
Natawa ako sa kwento mo. Sabi ko pa naman sa anak ko paglaki nya dapat maging lawyer sya kasi bagay sa personality nya though gusto nya maging pilot daw. O sya maging pilot na lang sya hehe

[Shadow Angel]

Isa lang masasabi at paniniwala ko lahat decision mo choice mo yan. Choice mo rin kung saan ka sasaya mas pinili mo sumaya sa konti bagay na may naapakan tao. Lahat tayo may mali desisyon pero hindi ibig sabihin hindi mo na pede baguhin or gawan ng paraan para maituwid pa. Habang hindi ka pa sobrang lunod sa konti saya na yan umahon ka na.

Tama si Girltalker bilang na lang ang mga lalaki sa pinas na walang babae. Bukod sa tanggap ng society marami ding babae sobrang willing maging kabit.

[three8one]

^^ Apir sis hushush! hehe. push mo yang pagiging pilot ng anak mo. mas okay kung sa military. malay mo by the time na pilot na anak mo may F15 na ang pinas. 

--------------

TS, nagsara na daw yung Eurotel sa may tapat ng Waltermart. haha! biro lang...

pero ito uulitin ko, nabanggit ko na ata to sa ibang thread. huwag mong hayaan na ang damdamin mo ang mag dikta ng mga dapat mong gawin sa buhay at sarili mo. gamitan mo ng karunungan..

I apply mo yang pagiging lawyer mo sa sarili mo. hindi ako naniniwala na ganyang tipo ng mga lalake ang nakatadhana sayo. maaaring ginagamit kang kasangkapan ng Diyos para maging daan sa mga ganyang tipo ng lalake na sila ay magbago at maging responsableng tao. kaya naging lapitin ka ng mga pak boi. kung sa palagay mo nagawa mo na ang lahat ng paraan na alam mo para lang mahanap mo yung tamang lalake na para sayo at wala naman nagyari, subukan mo ito, sigurado ako epektib to.... seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you - Matthew 6:33. yan ang promise sa atin ng Diyos.

 

[angeljolie]

The more you say you cannot resist him, the more you believe it. The more you say you're unlucky in love, the more you believe it. The more you say he makes you feel important (like how???), the more you believe it.

Hindi mo ikamamatay kung mawawala sya sayo. And I'm sorry to burst your bubble, hindi ka importante sa kanya. Hindi ko talaga magets kung pano mo nafeel na importante ka kung puro stolen moments lang kaya nya ibigay sayo. Kung importante ka, bakit kayo nagtatago? Baka masyado mababa ang tingin mo sa sarili mo. Taasan mo girl. You deserve better.

Bottomline is, you create your own life story. Please wake up. Matalino ka at maganda (hindi ka naman lalapitan ng mga lalake kung hindi). Wag mo sayangin ang oras mo kay MM4. Maniwala ka sa ibang sis natin dito, sobrang dalang na ng matinong lalake dito. Kung may makita kang matino, IF and WHEN, ikaw na ang lumapit. Otherwise, explore other places.  Create your own opportunities.

[Girltalker2]

I've been praying to God na sana makaya ko to at sana dumating na si Mr. Right ko. I am just tired of being alone. :-(

Sorry sis, I'll quote this 1 more time.
You said mm4 flirting with you.
You're praying to God to keep you away from temptation.

And yet... mukhang ikaw gumagawa kasi ng paraan para magkasala kayo?

May marecommend ba kayong motel malapit sa glorietta o greenbelt? hehe.

We are here to help you bring back to your senses. Sana huwag mo naman sayangin oras namin sa pagpayo sayo.
Wala talagang maganda na maidudulot si mm4 at ng situation sayo.

[hushush]

hehe..nice one again sis..
pero for sure sis alam ni TS ang law about concubinage. Indi enough na mapatunayang may sexual intercourse sila para makasuhan.. May condition yan like nahuli sila nag-quickie sa public CR or sa car (scandalous situation).  Makakasuhan lang din ng concubinage si MM4 kung mapapatunayan ng legal wife na nagsasama sila or kay TS umuuwi ang guy but since fubu lang sila e indi applicable yun sa kanila.. At kung makasuhan man sila at proven guilty, destierro lang ang punishment ni TS dun as concubine.

Kaya nga ganyan kalakas ang loob ni TS na magtampisaw sa bawal na pag-ibig kasi alam nya ang batas..

Anyways, as the saying goes, what comes around goes around.. Matakot ka na lang sa karma sis kundi man sayo e sa magiging anak mo or future generations mo..

What are the differences between adultery and concubinage?

Adultery is committed by a wife (who must also be charged together with the other man), while concubinage is committed by a husband (who must be charged together with the concubine).

Proof of sexual intercourse is enough in adultery, but in concubinage, the prosecution must prove that the sexual intercourse must be under scandalous circumstances, or that the husband kept a mistress in the conjugal dwelling or cohabited with her in any other place.

The penalty for concubinage is lower than that of adultery. The penalty for the concubine is only destierro, while the penalty for the man other in adultery is the same as that of the guilty wife.

What is destierro?

Destierro means banishment or only a prohibition from residing within the radius of 25 kilometers from the actual residence of the accused for a specified length of time. It is not imprisonment.