Reg: Sa kapatid ni Nadine Lustre. I saw his post sa Medium.
"I lie awake for almost every night, thinking back, pondering, how can things go so bad compared to how it was, the words I said left brands on my own body, where did I go wrong, my dear friend, where did we go wrong? Im not scared of trusting people, im scared of becoming attached the same way I got attached to you, believe it or not, you were like no other, for me, you stood out from all the rest, never have I ever met anyone that was capable of changing me; of encouraging me to change myself, why did I have to fall in love with you? we could have been good friends, you dont need that much from me, but I needed alot from you, life is full of sadness, misery and pain, but the question is, what did I learn from it? No matter what you do, no matter what you say, a person is not supposed to be with you for the rest of your life, he/she will not be by your side every step and every turn."
"The dilemma of my own love
Where right and wrong separates
“Love expressed through flesh is not true love”
That very quote, tore me apart. I was not one to meddle with romance towards other people, but somehow, there was this person who changed my views completely, but also changed me. Love is not a necessity, as much as I would have loved to say it back then, now, its just confusing to hear, when your heart yearns for someone, you tend to think about them for most of the time, and you often feel lonely without them, and nobody can seem to help you besides that person themselves, not even you. Love going to a point of reliance is risky business, mainly because love doesnt last for too long, once you’ve become so reliant on someone, you need them with you for everyday of every hour of every second, thats just wrong and a bit obsessive, a person doesnt ‘need’ anyone but themselves, they need support from other people, not the person. Love towards sensuality and affection, is not real love, its basically a byproduct of love, its not a necessity. Once you hang on to every word someone says, you’re destined to fall back down once you try to get up.
Man, I loved this person so much went through so many s***, had my fair share of sad and happy moments, but ive gone to a point of being too reliant on him, but he doesnt need me, he’s perfectly capable of taking care of himself, where as I am not. So im willing to learn how to be independent, and maybe along the way, have the courage to finally let go of him, what scares me the most is never finding someone like him, Ive had mistakes, no one is perfect, I get that, but I truly believe what we had was special, it just wasnt destined to last for long. I believe what he did feel was genuine, it just disappeared, as anyone will tell you, you dont need to be loved back when you love someone, it can be purely one sided and thats not wrong, its just sad. I look forward to the next person thats going to come into my life, cross my fingers, and hope for the best for both of us. I hope for the best for him, wherever he is."
