While it's true that we should keep the fire burning, we can only do so much. Reality check, people fall out of love all the time -- so many options, so many kalokohan, so many things going on, so little commitment.
My lola and her two kids were dependent on my lolo. So when the lolo left for another woman, their lives were shattered. Although later in my lola's life, she found her ever after, 20 years her senior (he's not my real lolo, but I loved him to bits.) When I was little, I saw my mom cried so many times in the car hoping nobody sees her. My dad cheated on her, over and over. When I was old enough to know what was going on, I told my mom to leave, let go. But no she can't. He was a good provider, and damn she loves him! So she stayed. My dad is 61 now and still sees other women, while my mom suffered from mild dementia. Yes, she suffered long and hard, she's still suffering now.
So no I dont believe in marriage. Though I have to admit I was a dreamy teenager. I was in a live-in situation for 6 years. I loved him of course. We have 2 kids. 3 weeks before I gave birth to our youngest, his family came over with all their caboodles. I was about to get married 4 days upon their arrival, and I didnt have the slightest idea. I said no. He said I disrespected his family, I said they disrespected my freedom of choice, or at least my right to be informed.
My partner is a gambler. But maybe if he had been a better person, I would've given it a thought, I probably would've wanted to get married. But that's a thing in the past.
Two months ago I decided we're wasting our time. We can't be together anymore. We argue, say hurtful things. It has to stop. I can't live like that. I cant let my children see that and suffer silently the way I suffered knowing my mom suffered. This is the time I know I made the right decision of not getting married. He can support or not support the kids for all I care. It's hard on my part but what choice do we have? We mothers love our children and we'll give them our best even if it means nothing left for us. The kids are mine, at least for the first 7 years of their lives. Had we been married, according to RA9262, the father's decision will prevail. And my kids are not going anywhere but my side.
So please assess your relationship. Maybe it's worth it, then give it a go. The only way you get things is when you work on them. You dont sit silently and wait. But if it's not and in the future you decide to leave, then trust me, you'll be fine. You'll come out a better person, you'll be invincible.
