Bf keeps talking about his exes

[amethyst028]

Hi mga sis!

Question lang. How do you feel when your bf keeps talking about his exes? naiinis ba kayo or deadma lang?

I don't know if this is a normal reaction. here's my story:

even when we just started dating he would mention an ex or exes like normal kwentuhan lang. and fast forward 4months kame na he would still do the same.

the way he would describe them is annoying to me. like he would say "all my exes are super pretty", "men would die to have them", "some of my ex gf are 20 years younger", "tall, sexy, super beautiful and smart" like that. he had an ex na tall looks like ashely judd daw and when they are out men would send drinks to the girl. wtf diba? but his relationships are usually a few months only longest is 2 years.

i'm a very secure person and i don't really care about it kasi ex na. but why does he have to say those things. is he trying to make me jealous? last night i had enough and told him not to talk about them or else i would talk about my exes.

if you were in my shoes maiinis din ba kayo? he kept saying sorry to me and i haven't talk to him kasi pinapa lipas ko pa yung inis ko.

[kaythrielle]

Normal lang naman reaction mo.
Sana magtanda na sya at huwag nang umulit. Lol

Pero kung gagawin nya pa rin, edi tuwing banggitin nya ex nya, tapatan mo din na banggitin din ex mo.

"My ex gf is tall pretty blah blah blah" sagutin mo ng "My ex bf is also tall (or kung anumang positive trait maisip mo)."
Every.single.time.
Hanggat pumasok sa kukote nya na pag babanggitin nya ex nya, makakarinig din sya ng tungkol sa ex mo. At kung ayaw nya makarinig ng tungkol sa ex mo, edi titigil na sya.

That guy is so insensitive you should give him a taste of his own medicine.

[iam_me]

siguro ako secured din naman ko pero kung ganyan na lagi nyang ikwento ex nya kahit na pinag seselos nya ko foul yun kung gusto nya bumalik sya sa ex nya , ok lang sana kung ako yung magtatanong about sa ex nya pero kung sya mag oopen at lagi pang ikwento baka di pa sya nakaka get over kay ex.

[amethyst028]

Thanks mga sis.

Oo nga e. I ask him why he is doing that. Nagyayabang ba siya? Well i'm not impressed. He can go back to them if he wants to.

He even said yung isang ex niya looks like wonder woman. What the hell diba? Nakaka init talaga ng ulo. E may dine-date din ako looks like captain america 5 years ako niligawan gusto ba niya malaman yun.

This is our first fight. Aside from the ex talk wala naman ako masabi super bait niya and he does all the right thing expect this. Feeling ko hinahanap niya yung insecurity ko so he knows he really has me. Usually guys don't talk about their past e kailangan mo pa sila pilitin para mag kwento. Eto ewan ko super open with matching adjectives pa talaga.

[hisana]

Sasabihin ko sana na mukhang immature pa mag-isip at masyado pa fixated sa looks ng mga ex-gf nya and he might outgrow this, but since he said some of his exes are 20 years younger, I would assume medyo older na pala sya, right? If so, wala nang ibang excuse yan kundi insensitive at insecure.

[minabey]

For me, I don't think this is normal. Unless nagpa kwento ka mismo about his exes, he shouldn't just be finding ways to insert them in normal conversations.

Or maybe he's insecure and wants you to feel na ang swerte mo kasi yung tipo nya pinapatulan ng mga pretty girls? Have actually seen photos of these girls? 

[khaleesiCersei]

Ka turn off yung ganyan. May mga na date ako na ganyan, kakairita. Hindi kasi ako nagseselos sa mga ganyang tirada, nayayabangan ako. Parang wow ikaw na gwapo kasi ang ganda ng mg ex mo haha.

So i would give them a dose of their own medicine. Kunwari makikinig lang ako sa kwento niya at kunwari bilib na bilib ako sa kanya, tapos i would say things like, sayang naman bat kayo naghiwalay? dapat binalikan mo or dapat di mo na hiniwalayan, friends pa ba kayo? Add mo sa fb lol! Tipong concerned friend yung dating ko hehe. Tapos bibirahan ko ng yung ex ko nga ganito ganyan eh, siguro pag nagkita ulit kami baka ganito ganyan lol! So ayun natatahimik sila. Ang ending sila pa yung naiinis. Wahaha! Burn!

[glamorosa_09]

If I were in your shoes, I will mark it as red flag #1.

Based from experience, there was this guy who really made an effort to reach me, showered me with attention, and told me flowery words. Kaya lang when we were getting to know each other, he made comments about how cute the girls are in our department (college pa ito) and shared with me yung mga naka dates nya na ang gaganda. Because of that, friendzoned ko sya, kasi baka friends lang habol nya saken, else, why would he make those comments. Inosente pa ko nun.

But then I'm glad I did friendzone him, pangit ng ugali nya. It showed when I chose my 1st bf over him
He texted malicious things about me to my classmates and texted me things that are below the belt. Then he cheated on his gf na kakilala ko.

I'm not saying na pangit din ugali ng bf mo. I shared the story to explain bakit I will make it as red flag #1 (sakin lang naman). Hindi pa naman agad kayo magpapakasal so I suggest to keep on listening to your instinct and keep on observing. Malay mo, dyan lang sya sablay. Pero kung masusundan pa ng kakaibang behaviors, then that's the time to evaluate this person and the relationship.

To add: If you haven't talked about it yet, you can ask why his previous relationships didn't work. Kung ang sagot ay grey areas like, it wasn't meant to be, we were two different people and the likes, eh okay yun. However, kung past exes ang palaging may ginawang masama at hindi maganda trato sa kanila, another red flag yun.

[naizlabonita]

My then bf now my live in partner did that to me as well..halos same nung kwento ni sis @glamorosa_09 when he was still courting me.. he opened his laptop and showed his exes to me. I do not know why. Wala akong Idea eh akala ko normal lang yun baka nagiging open lang siya sa past nya sakin. Well, di ko alam na red flag na pala yun.. then nung naging kame na..andame nyang friends na exes nya minsan nakwekwento nya pero wala namang malisya sakin noon akala ko friendly lang talaga siya sa mga girls eh..well turned out mahilig talaga siya sa mga babae. So siguru talagang need maging maingat sa mga ganyan and be observant sa mga actions nya..

[icr810201]

Guy's perspective naman. I hate that when my GF does that too. Jealousy siguro yun but I'm just not fond of hearing stories of the past especially with her exes.

[Shadow Angel]

Para sa akin ang yabang ng dating. At dahil mayabang ang dating sa akin for sure hindi magiging kami. True ba may nakita ka ba proof na maganda nga? At if ever na may photo true ba na naging sila? Hindi rin ako selosa pero kung sa akin babarahin ko rin.

[Rory_Lorelie_Gilmore]

Major red flag, at turn off!

[amethyst028]

Thank you to all those who replied.

Btw he is 47, i'm 38. I accepted his apology and told him not to do it again. So let's see if tupadin niya promise niya.

You girls are right i think he is insecure that's why he said those things. Average sa looks and height lang kasi siya. He's been asking me out for 4 years, he had the biggest crush on me daw. Kaya siguro ganun parang may gusto siya i-prove or something.

True na red flag ito kaya i'm taking it slow with him ino-observe ko siya ng mabuti.

[kvandenhaak]

^Yes, insecure sya. Parang he is trying to tell you na kahit ganito sy magaganda naman ang nagiging GF nya at ikaw ang dapat ma-alarm hindi sya.. Ego booster kumbaga sa kanya yun. 

[mimiku]

He is insecure. He's probably saying that to compensate something he sees lacking about him. Believe me, insecure guys tend to magnify and over blow their "kwentos" just to make them super human. I heard someone said to me, if a guy says he had sex with 5 girls minus it to 4 then you'll get the right number. I know it's quite different from your bf example, but i hope you'll get the drift. Anyway, going back, he's probably unaware that he's becoming insensitive. And tama ka sa ginawa mo. You have to ask him to stop. If he does, well and good but if he doesn't, then magisip ka na. He may have a deep rooted psychological problem pag ganun.

[Rory_Lorelie_Gilmore]

Totoo no, yung ibang lalake like my ex bf and maski Husband ko now, halos pitpitin mo itlog (sorry for the term haha) magkwento lang tungkol sa ex haha puro "nakalimutan ko na" "past na yun" "tapos na yun bakit pa kailangan pagusapan" ang sagot hehe kaya kung meron man lalake na napaka upfront na magkwento lalo na kung di mo naman tinatanong, it's not normal. May hugot yan for sure haha! 

Glad, napagusapan nyo na Sis. Balitaan mo kami pag inulit pa haha!

[kvandenhaak]

^True, most guys don't want to talk about their past relationship. "Why does it matter?", "I don't want to talk about it"...mga ganyan ang linya ng mga lalake pag tinatanong. Usually if people still talk about their exes, part of them is not over with them yet.

[amethyst028]

Oo nga. Or usually if they talk about the ex yung mga pangit ang sasabihin. Si bf iba e puro maganda at puro papuri. Haha!

I'll update you girls if he did it again. So far hindi naman na.

[shinies]

Ano yung sagot niya nung tinanong mo siya bakit lagi niya kinukwento mga ex niya?

[amethyst028]

^he didn't answer why. he just said he won't do it again. ayoko na din i-insist in knowing why kasi baka lumaki pa yung away. and you know naman guys they say and do stupid stuff most of the time.